I just pooped out this lol. Wrote it in like 20 minutes no kidding! Lol. Completly unedited but owell. Came outta no where.
Inspired by the song 'It's already over' by 'Red'
It's over
I watched you from afar for so many years. I have to admit; when you were younger I did think of you as nothing more than a brat. But as you got older I could help to not be blind from the woman you were becoming. Every time you turned down Naruto I couldn't help but feel saddened. Apart of me wanted you to date him, then maybe I'd stop having these feelings for you.
Originally I could keep them caged; locked deep within me, but when you came to me for advice – not your usual advise, that's when I began to loose it. The advice – not just words, but actions. You had to pose as a stripper for a night in a club outside of town, and came to me for help. We almost lost control that night, the images of your flushed face and contorted brow are so clear in my mind, clearer than the cleanest wall of glass. On that night; my feelings only increased, but now I was beginning to look at your body too, not just your pretty face and the bubbly personality that lay beneath it.
You finally accepted Narutos proposal, even though both you and I shared the same feelings for each other, and you knew it. I couldn't help but break my knuckles when I slammed them against the concrete ground. What Naruto did to you that night, I knew it was your decision to loose your innocence to him, but I wanted that some one to be me.
I knew that you and Naruto shared deep feelings for each other, and I couldn't help but act like a jealous boy friend.
When you and Naruto didn't go so well and decided to split, a tear of hope sprung from my eye; you were free – free to explore.
When I came to you with that hope still shining in my eyes, you saw it. when you told me you loved me so much it was almost unbearable; my breath hitched, my heart grew rapid, I knew I couldn't hold back any longer, and for a moment, I thought you wanted it too. That fateful day; the day our lives changed forever, it too is so clear in my dark mind. I can't help but feel so much regret, so much like grabbing a piece of rope and ending my existence.
In that sea of green I lost my self as I tried to sail the untamable. I wanted, no, needed you. But it wasn't until you told me that we could never be together did I loose my control, did my cage dissolve like salt melting into the sea. I should have listened when you told me to stop, but I didn't. I went too far, I went way over the boundaries – beyond the beyond, and I took you that night; in you own home. I forced my words of poison down your throat like the primal beast I was; how no other man could look at you like I did, how no other man could please you like I did, and how no other man could love you like I did. I couldn't help it, I had to do it, I had to show you that what I felt was real. But now, as I sit on the cold concrete of my cell, I can't help but question if my feelings were true. If I loved you so dearly like I thought I did, I wouldn't have done what I did. I would have been able to pull up the will power to stop my self. I hurt you, abused you – that's not what one is suppose to do when you love some one. You begged me to stop but I still continued. I feel so dirty, so undeserving of the kindness you still have for me. How you visit me every day and how everyday you try to convince them that what Naruto saw and heard was just an illusion. You two are back together now, and my fists are so mutated they're useless. I can't go back to my old life, not after everything we've been through. Even as they release me and I'm now free to explore, I find I can't. Not now. My disfigured fingers clutch the rope so tightly.
I could never love another, and I could never love you; especially now that you have another; always have had another. After all the only reason you broke up was because of your mixed emotions for me. I thought the friendship we shared could never break, but I was wrong. I broke it, and I was help less to stop and mend it. My life has no purpose now. I can't even be there for myself let alone you.
It's over.