Disclaimer: I do not own anything, except any poems in here I did write myself.
The sky was growing dark. She really should have not been outside, but she couldn't resist. She had fallen in love with the big apple tree and the swaying grass. She felt the rain drops that had stayed on the leaves, as they fell onto her face along with her own tear drops. She didn't even know exactly why she was crying. She missed her home and her family though she never had known them to miss them. She could only remember a few tidbits of her memory before she had been put on that boat. Now, however, she was off the boat and she was free, but her charade was up and there was nothing to stop the tears.
"Why? Why did I get forgotten? If I did have a family wouldn't they have looked for me?" She knew it was impossible for them to have looked for her after she had been kidnapped, but she had let these thoughts come again and she knew there was no turning back now. She felt as though her face was going to burst into flames, but her arms and legs were frozen stiff. She felt to weak to get up so she just stayed there. She didn't remember falling asleep, but she would remember that dream. She always had it as if her mind was trying to supply answers for her questions.
"The bairns dance over green hills bright singing as they go.
They pray and pray for the Lion's might to take away snow."
A women round with child was singing to the little girl in her arms. The little girl couldn't have been more than three years of age. Her long curly red hair was falling around her shoulders. Her blue eyes shone bright as she laughed and clapped her hands even though the song had no beat. Her cheeks were rosy and the mother laughed even though her child refused to sleep.
Then the dream blurred and came back…
The little girl from before was in bed when a large man with rough dark skin put his huge hand over her mouth. The little one's eyes snapped open with a look of fear in them. She couldn't scream, she just kicked as she was carried out of the room with green hangings over the walls and the bed. She wanted to scream when the man carried her away from her room and the only place she had ever known. She thought she was going to suffocate in her attempts to cry out. Her throat felt as though it was torn and scratched.
She was shaken awake and looked up blearily into the eyes of a boy with black hair and blue eyes the color of the sea. He was the king! King Edmund had found her asleep under an apple tree!
"You were screaming and coughing up blood!" He said looking extremely worried. The only thing that she was sincerely worried about was the fact that he had heard her. She had coughed up blood before and even been known to talk and scream in her sleep at least according to Alastriel.
"I'm sorry, your Highness. I'm sorry. You won't find me again." Her face was quickly turning red. She had always done this since she was a slave on that slave ship. Alastriel was quick to point it out when she first met her. Even Queen Lucy had seen it. Being Queen Lucy's body guard she was around her enough for the queen to notice her expressions. She had never met King Edmund though and this was quickly becoming embarrassing.
"No. No you need treatment. Your sick. You must have a fever." He just reached up and felt the girl's forehead as she was rather helpless since she was halfway between sitting up and laying down. She was trembling now, but from both her sickness and the fact the king had his hand on her forehead.
"I'll be fine this has happened ever since I was three." Now as she looked at his face, she wished she hadn't said it.
"You've been coughing up blood, screaming in your sleep, and having fevers since you were three?!" He looked downright astounded and if possible even more worried.
"Well I think I was three." Now she was babbling trying to answer his questions as fast as possible.
"What do you mean? Don't you know?" He was looking into her eyes in puzzlement and concern; which only made him more attractive and her more embarrassed.
"I… I guessed that was how old I was when I was kidnapped." She was biting her lip which made the king smile a little because she looked rather like his little sister. He still didn't know what was going on. He recognized this girl as the recently hired body guard for his sister. Peter wasn't found of grown men being in close proximity to her.
"You're Ilonwy right? I've seen you with my sister." The girl nodded still a little scared.
"Come on we need to get you up to the castle. You need to be in good health to protect my sister." He gave her a hand to pull her up, but then she still felt weak and her knees buckled. The king was quick to catch her though.
"For a bodyguard you're not very strong." He commented with a raised eyebrow as he put and arm around her to support her.
"That's just because I'm sick." She said becoming more herself even though the walking was quickly tiring her. She started to turn pale. Then fell again, this time bringing the king with her.
"Nor are you very graceful." He added bringing her up with a smile. Now they were almost in sight of the castle.
"That was not one of the requirements to become a bodyguard." She commented with her usual air of sarcasm. They walked rather unsteadily for another five minutes.
"By the way how did you become by sister's body guard?" She was getting rather tired of his questions and still turning paler the farther they walked.
"I will tell you, my lord, but right now all my concentration is on not falling." He suddenly looked down at her to see the pained expression on her face the was now almost as white as porcelain.
"Oh. Sorry. I didn't notice, yet another one of my failings." The king looked down at his feet as they moved toward the castle. Ilonwy saw his face and was disheartened. They walked for a few more yards, but Ilonwy felt blood and bile rise up in her throat, and her knees began to buckle again.
"I'm sorry, your highness, but I simply can't walk any more." She sad trying to catch her breath.
"Oh sorry again." He said and helped her gently down. She closed her eyes and smiled as she lay on the grass. Even though it was damp, at this point she didn't care. She was a little disconcerted by the fact there was a king sitting beside her. He had plopped down to since he had been nearly carrying her, he also could do with a rest.
"Sorry. I just feel so tired and cold." She said and the king looked down at her and let out a chuckle. The king couldn't have been a year older than she yet he found her funny.
"I don't see what is comical." She said in exasperation. He was probably only nineteen after all she was only eighteen, yet he thought this situation was funny.
"No, no please don't take offence, but you are anything, but cold." He showed her the same hand that he had put on her forehead under the tree. It had burn marks on it. She held it and blew on it.
"Oh I'm sorry your highness that was all my fault." She was still blowing on his hand as he was watching her in puzzlement. One second she was sardonic and spoke coolly and the next she was blowing worriedly on his fingers like his mother did when he touched an iron. 'Girls!' He thought automatically.
"Not really. It was my fault for keeping my hand on your head long enough to get burnt, but that is not a normal fever. It wouldn't burn so much plus you said you've had these since you were three." He said questioningly. She was still blowing on the kings hand trying to cool it when she let it go and nodded. Her throat felt like someone had torn it out, diced it and then asked a two year old to sew it back in.
"You must not have much of a voice." He said as she shook her head. "Okay then I'll try to ask yes or no questions. Are you from Narnia?" she shrugged with her hands in the air, as if to say she didn't know.
"You came off that ship of slaves my brother freed right?" she nodded.
"So you were kidnapped when you were around three?" she nodded and to his surprise pulled a ribbon out of her hair letting it fall to her shoulders.
"This is the only thing I have from then." She said so hoarsely the king could almost feel the pain in her voice. She showed him the black ribbon with silver embroidery. He knew that mothers of the court would embroider these for their daughters, it must have been a very old tradition.
The ribbon was black satin with silver thread embroidery, and one of the girls long red hairs was caught in the stitching. Edmund held it closer so he could see it by the moon light shining down on them both. It said in slanted writing Ilonwy born June 20, 732.
"Wow, I'm a year and four days older than you." The year after all in Narnian terms was 750. Now he new she must have been the daughter of a lady, because not many people could get such nice satin and thread. "So you were on that ship for fifteen years and nothing happened to you?" He was surprised, girls usually did not remain girls when around the pirates that she was around.
Her response to that was she pulled her hair up and tied a bandana, that had been hanging from her belt loop, around it in and odd way. This made her from the neck up look rather boyish and he suspected that if she wore a big shirt and trousers she could be passed off as a boy. After all she was not as Susan referred to some other girls 'well endowed'.
"So no one noticed you were a girl for thirteen years?" He asked amazed thinking that is was rather fantastical.
"The first ship I was on had a nice lady on it that taught me how to keep up the charade then the Captain sold me as a boy slave when I was ten. I came into the next one's favor as the most trusted rather quickly and he decided not to sell me. He also gave me a bunk in the kitchen with the dog, so I didn't have to share with anyone. Then he sent me ashore with orders to find a new cabin boy and I saw Alastriel. I quickly disguised her as a boy and brought her on the ship to work." She said all this with gasping breaths after each few words. It scared Edmund, but he was still curious.
"How come you couldn't just run away then?" He asked and as she answered he wished he hadn't. She raised her sleeve and showed him two brand marks one on top of the other. They had seals of the different slave ships. One looked like the Ruby Maiden and the one on top of that was the Dark Key. Peter had raided the Dark Key a couple of months ago. The way her skin was around it made his stomach turn not really from disgust but from sympathy. He new that it was in the pirates "code" that if a slave was ever found with one of those marks away from the ship any other pirate was obligated to take them back.
"Why did you save Alastriel." He asked. Alastriel was a duchess of Archenland who was sometimes overly flirtatious, with her eyes always on Peter.
"She's not really that bad. She just does those things to get Peter's attention. She was scared when I saw her there on the market platform. Men were goggling at her and I could think of to many situations that she could get herself into. She was also kidnapped and I felt sorry for her." Her voice was now leaving and she only said this in a hoarse whisper. Edmund got up.
"Do you think you can walk again?" He asked jovially. She nodded but he had to pull her up and help her because her legs were still trembling. "What did you last eat?" She bit her lip and muttered something about not feeling good at supper. "So you only had lunch then?" she nodded. They were still a while off from the castle when a fawn on the wall pointed at them and waved.
"How come you were out there near me any way?" She whispered as the gate was let up and they entered. Her voice was now leaving her completely, so she had to resort to the lowest whisper she could manage but luckily Edmund understood.
"Some nights I can't sleep so I walk around out side the walls a bit. I was only a five minutes walk away when I heard you scream so I ran over to that tree where I found you." He said a little with a little grunt as he had to lift her over the step to get through the night-watch gate. A fawn ran up and offered to help the king with her, even though he was so small it wouldn't have done much good.
"Its okay I've got her." He said looking much more king like than he had just a few seconds ago. He carried her up some stairs and through a door on the left, then one on the right, and then after the next corridor Ilonwy was asleep in the king's arms.
"What can I do to help, your highness?" The little fawn said in a rich accent. He was trotting to keep up with Edmund's long strides. Edmund looked down at the girl in his arms. He could feel the heat coming off her in waves, and this was a cool night.
"Go get some broth from the kitchen and get the remedies from Dr. Tumnus. Bring them to my quarters." He said this as he made one last turn onto the hall of the Kings and Queens. He went into the second door on the left and entered his apartments. He lowered her onto the little daybed that he never thought of a use for until now. She was still asleep. Her forehead was sweating. He wiped it off with a wet towel. 'I don't know what to do from here! I don't know at all what to do for girls!' He thought this and ran across the room, out into the hall, and into the room right across from his.
"Lucy! Lucy, wake up! I need your help!" He shook his little sister by her shoulders. Her other body guard (they took shifts) was looking at him quizzically though knowing that he was the king she curtsied and went back to watching the windows. Lucy blearily opened her eyes.
"What is it, Ed? It can't be two hours 'tilsunup." She said while yawning and wiping her eyes.
"I found Ilonwy, your bodyguard outside under a tree with a fever and she's burning up!" Lucy jumped out of bed and threw a robe on. She knew of her brother's insomnia, but the fact that her body guard had a fever like that… She had to hurry. They ran across to the other room. Lucy was luckily good with sickness and wounds. She had her cordial, but Tumnus had taught her a lot also. The little fawn had come back with a cauldron full of broth and Tumnus's bag of remedies.
"Oh, Edmund how did you let her get into a state like that?! For heaven's sakes the girl is unconscious!" Lucy said in exasperation. 'How did I let my bodyguard get into a state like that? Why didn't I pay attention to her?' She thought this feeling even more mad at her self than at Edmund. "Quick, turn her over I'm not strong enough to do it fast." She said this all very fast and Edmund turned Ilonwy over so she was facing down, with a look of confusion on his face.
"Why?…" Edmund was wondering how this was supposed to help the girl who was starting to cough blood up again.
"Oh by the Lion's mane! Turn around and don't look! I have to get her out of this dress." Edmund spun on the spot. He new this wasn't proper but he had to help her. So he just didn't look. He heard a sight ripping sound and a huge intake of breath come from the girl who was still unconscious. Lucy was working quickly to take the dress off and cover her in a sheet while, Edmund and the fawn were holding their hands behind their backs looking the other way.
"Finally! Edmund will you turn her back over? Oh for heaven's sake you can look now!" Edmund turned around sheepishly and felt kind of awkward as he turned the girl covered in nothing but a sheet back over. Her hair was now covering her face so Edmund pulled it back, only to find blood dripping from the side of her mouth. He wiped it off with his sleeve, as Lucy was busily getting bottles out of Tumnus's bag. Her face was still burning hot to the touch. He got the wet towel and dabbed her forehead with it. Now by the candlelight of his room he could see that she was really quite pretty in a simple, not prissy kind of way.
"Oh move out of the way Edmund!" Said Lucy as she was really quite scared seeing as Tumnus wasn't here to tell her when she was making a mistake. She mixed some dried green herb in with the broth and crushed some leaves in with that. She in poured half of the contents of one of the bottles in with the broth. To Edmund's surprise she even put drop of her own cordial into the mix. "Now feed this to her slowly. Where to you keep the blankets? We need to make her fever spike." Edmund still quite confused pointed to the cabinet and started to spoon the broth into the girls mouth trying not to spill it seeing as his hands were shaking.
Lucy found the blankets and put every single one on top of the girl so all you could see was her head and the mountain of comforters and blankets on top of her body. 'Oh you silly girl! You silly, silly girl! How could you not notice she wasn't well?!' Lucy was scolding herself in her head once more.
"Lucy she starting to sweat!" Said Edmund wondering why Lucy thought that baking a person was supposed to help get rid of a fever.
"That's what is supposed to happen genius! You make the fever get to its highest point then it will break and come back down." She said angrily. She was yelling more because she was mad at herself, but she had to yell at someone, and he was there. She gave way to her legs complaints and sat on his bed, just as Susan and Peter came into the room bleary eyed.
"What's the yelling for?" Asked Peter as he yawned. Then he saw the girl. Susan ran to the side of the girl and took the spoon from Edmund, whose hands were now trembling so much he couldn't even feed her. "Now what have you done, Edmund?!" Asked a very annoyed high king.
"Why does everyone think it's me?!" Edmund asked sitting down on his bed so hard that Lucy fell off the other side.
"Because this is your room, and you're the only one wearing regular clothes!" Susan said as she propped up the girls head and tried to get her to swallow. "Who is this any way?"
"Lucy's bodyguard." Said Peter as he ran his hand through his hair trying to think how this could be explainable.
"Look you all know that I find it hard to sleep most nights." When they nodded Edmund moved on. "So I was walking just outside the castle gate when I heard some one screaming. I ran toward the noise and found this girl here asleep under an apple tree, screaming her head off, rolling around and coughing up blood. So I shook her awake and checked her forehead. She was so hot that it burnt my hand." He said this showing his hand where the red mark was still enflamed and forming blisters. "So I tried to talk to her and get her back to the castle. She couldn't walk very well so I helped her to walk. After a while she said she couldn't go much farther so we stopped I asked her some yes or no questions so she wouldn't have to talk very much. Then we got up and I still helped her to walk. When we had to go up the steps, I saw it would be impossible for her so I just picked her up and she finally fainted from exhaustion. So I brought her in here. The fawn got the broth and the remedies. Thank you by the way." He said turning to the fawn which he had just remembered was there. "You can go back to you duties now." The fawn bowed and trotted out of the room. "Then I put her down went to go wake Lucy. Lucy did some of her marvelous healing while shouting and here we all are." Said Edmund conclusively.
Susan was still feeding the broth to the girl who, unconsciously was swallowing. Ilonwy's forehead was still sweating so Edmund went over to wipe her head again with the towel.
"What was she doing out under that apple tree anyway?" Asked Lucy while watching her body guard start to fidget. "Susan stop feeding her now. She is going to toss and turn for a while I'm afraid." Lucy said not looking to surprised as the girl started to talk in her sleep.
"Mama! Help! He's trying to take me! Leave me alone! Daddy! Dor! Somebody help me!" She screamed as she kicked and turned. Edmund tried to wake her.
"She's still unconscious, Edmund." Lucy said sadly as they all watched the helpless girl turn.
"Did she say Dor?" Asked Susan, who was courting a man named Dor, from Archenland.
"She did actually. What do we really know about her?" Said Peter now interested. The girl was crying incomprehensible words to someone who was not there. They were all glad that this hall was almost sound proof because it was so separated from the rest of the castle.
"Your highnesses, I know very little about her but she was kidnapped when she was three or so and put on to two slave ships. You can see the marks on her arms. She pretended to be a boy for when she was there and rescued the Lady Alastriel from the ships by disguising her as a boy." This came from the other bodyguard, Flwyn. All of the monarchs turned to her in surprise except for Edmund, who had resumed wiping Ilonwy's brow with the towel.
"She rescued the Lady Alastriel? But they never talk!" Exclaimed Susan amazed.
"Susan, I got both of them off that boat and Alastriel was disguised as a boy, which I don't think she would have considered resorting to herself. So I guess it would be possible." Peter said this all very matter-of-factly.
"But why wouldn't Alastriel talk to her?" Asked Lucy in awe of how someone wouldn't converse with a person who ultimately saved them from a fate worst then death.
"It is not proper for a lady to converse with a bodyguard unless the body guard is guarding her." Flwyn said sadly. Lucy felt terrible about this and all the other rules of the court. She hated them all. She frowned as she remembered rules about how to dress and eat, she especially hated rules on who and what you could love…
"That's just plain stupid!" Lucy said this so harshly that it surprised everyone except for the bodyguard. Bodyguards can see who you stare at, hear who you talk to, hear who's name you mutter in your sleep, know whose handkerchief you always hold…
"It is," said Flwyn with a knowing look on her face, "But who better to revise those rules than the queen?" Lucy looked at Peter with a pleading look on her face. He was the only one who could grant her permission to change the rules. He nodded at her knowing she would never be happy until she was allowed to be. She ran up and hugged him. He laughed at her.
"Lucy you only needed to ask. Of course I would have let you change the protocol." She was about to run out and get a quill and ink to start about her new duty, when Ilonwy started to scream again.
"Please don't take me! What did I do? I didn't do anything!" Her screams sounded like those of a spirit being broken. Her voice was hoarse and scratched. She coughed up more blood after screaming this. Then she turned again screaming incomprehensible shrieks. Her eyes flew open staring but she couldn't see those around her. Edmund was most effected by this. He was nearest to her and could see the fear mirrored in her eyes. Tears streaked her face as blood trickled down the corner of her mouth. He stood back horrified. Lucy stepped forward. She had seen this happen before. When people were in the greatest physical pain they had ever been in sometimes they would relive the greatest pain they could remember.
"Edmund, she is still hallucinating. Please go wash this towel." She gave Edmund the towel that lay where it had fallen on the bed beside her. Edmund tore his eyes from that sad face. He turned the washing room. He stopped as he heard her speak again.
"Please, Aslan, don't let me die, before I can live. Don't forget me in this forgotten place, please, Lord. I need you. I need to live. You put me here for a reason so please let me fulfill it before my time has run out. I can't last much longer please… Let them know I loved them." Tears fell down her face as she cried out these words. Edmund turned to look at that girl. That girl had said the thing no one had ever heard. He had known that prayer. He thought he was the only one to have ever said it, but he was not. How could she have heard it? How could she have known? The kings eyes were opened as wide as they could go. The tears in Ilonwy's eyes reminded him all to readily of his own. None of the other monarchs noticed his reaction. He was brought back to reality. He turned quickly to wash out the towel. How could she have known?
Meanwhile Ilonwy who had been forced to be a woman so long ago was dreaming: The dark pitch that covered the floor of the bottom most pit of the ship now was now all over her she lay on the floor curled up in a tiny ball. The cold was intolerable. She only had a large man's shirt to cover her. It was thin and covered in the pitch-like tar that covered the floor. She was thin and had not eaten in days. The pitch would stick the shirt to her skin, and when she tried to pull the shirt away from her, it pulled the skin off with it. She cried as much as she could but now she was so dehydrated she had no more tears to shed. Her throat burnt like the fires in the pits of Hell. She whispered a prayer on her knees. After which she prayed "Aslan if you've ever helped anyone before, are now or ever will again, please help me." She passed out. She welcomed the darkness. She felt the pain but not so much anymore. It was as if she was losing all feeling and dieing. She knew it would happen, but she had wanted to do so many things. She wanted to please her mother, she wanted to be just like her. She wanted to marry a man like her father. She wanted to be a mother. She wanted to meet her sibling or siblings that were about to enter the world when she left. She wanted to teach them how to talk and play how to dance, yet now that she thought about it, she hadn't talked in a long time, nor danced, nor played. No, she decided she wouldn't die. Aslan wouldn't have made her for so little purpose. She had a reason to live. The little girl opened her eyes and saw a door open. Through it came a lady who then opened her mouth and let out a sound which the girl couldn't hear. She couldn't hear the woman's hurried footsteps as she ran to the little girl. She could barely feel the arms that picked her up. She just fell into unconsciousness as she was cared for and fed by the woman. When the little girl woke and she found that she was much better and had on boys clothes. She was later taught by that woman how to disguise herself and what would happen if she didn't. That woman explained everything that may never have been taught to the girl.