He was awake when the call came. He was always awake; ever since that day he let Katie wotsit press her lips against his. He knew he fucked up and things would never be right again.
But she made life so hard for him sometimes. She was always hiding stuff from him; like her feelings and that. She hid her uni acceptance from him and that hurt so bad. It caused a pain deep inside his torso that gnawed at the chasm that was already created when his mum left and widened when his Nan died. What was he supposed to understand from that? He knew what it meant; it meant that she had a bright future ahead of her without a useless no-hoper like him in it.
But he still loved her so much. He was so angry and hurt that his body shook from the chills caused by her deceit. But he had to go and make himself the bad guy, even though she was in the wrong. He wondered sometimes whether he did it subconsciously; because he knew she deserved more than him. That it would take his betrayal to make her leave him behind.
He would think it through over and over every night as he tried to straighten his duvet from the tangle around his feet. He went over the same ground every sleepless night; rethinking what would happen if he did just one thing different. If he hadn't asked for a break; if he hadn't kissed Psycho-Kate; if he'd just kissed her instead of asking for one at the prom; or if he ignored her demands not to got to the station to say goodbye. He considered driving to Bristol to beg for forgiveness time and time again. But he had to let her go, doing all that would defeat the purpose. His heart didn't matter as long as she was happy and achieving her dreams.
So, he was awake that night just two and half month after her departure when the phone rang in the early hours. He picked up and it was silent. He knew it was her, he felt just like he did that night when she called him in Leeds. He could feel her presence and he knew she must have needed him. He tentatively whispered her name hoping she would reply but he heard a click when the receiver was replaced in its harness. That confirmed it, it was definitely her and she needed him, so he threw a few items into his back pack and headed out to his car. He was going to Bristol to be there for her.