Disclaimer: I don't own Curious George. I promise.
If you give a monkey a motorcycle...
HE'LL RUN OFF A BRIDGE LIKE CURIOUS GEORGE AND DIE!!!!!
The Day Curious George Found the Motorcycle (Otherwise Known as the Last Curious George Book. Ever. Ever Never Ever.)
One day the Man in the Yellow Hat (who was really Satan's servant, and only wore a yellow suit to throw people off) came home on a Harley. He got it from his master in the Underworld. (HELL!!! HELL!!! WORSHIP SATAN IN ALL HIS GLORY!!!) When Curious George saw the pretty motorcycle, his eyes twinkled with mischief. The Man in the Yellow Hat noticed this immediately, and, despite all of Satan's attempts, The Man in the Yellow Hat still felt affection, and did not want his twisted, monkey friend to be harmed.
"George," The Man began, "Ahem...George, never touch my motorcycle, for it is a shiny, lovely, safe and fun toy, I mean, dangerous piece of equipment. And even though my connections to the Underworld have made so that you can never die, thus making you the monkey of hell, it doesn't mean that you can just play with my motorcycle, for my Master will probably come for your damned monkey soul anyway, and make you a servant for the Underworld, just like me. I mean. Um..."
Suddenly, The Man in the Yellow Hat was psychically contacted by Beelzebub, the prince of the Underworld, and son of Satan, telling him that he was needed for some crisis created by the angels of heaven. The Man in the Yellow Hat dashed off into the deep, dark, fiery pit that Beelzebub had created in the middle of the sidewalk.
Curious George, being a curious little monkey, started over, but the pit closed up before he had a chance to run into its fiery depths. Saddened, George turned around, and saw at once, the shiny, lovely, safe and fun toy that was the Harley. Ignoring the stares of the neighbors, who had seen The Yellow Hatted Man run into the pit, George headed for the shiny, lovely, safe and fun toy that was the Harley.
He decided that he would disobey The Man in the Yellow Hat, for it was just too much fun! Also, it was just too easy, being a demon-monkey, to disobey. When he got into the seat, George saw that the SHINY keys had been hastily left in the ignition. He just couldn't resist turning them.
(It should now be noted that George has had previous encounters with keys, such as when he found the car keys, and drove around, and was only stopped by the meaningless servants of the Underworld who sacrificed their lives to save George. Unfortunately for them, they went to Heaven, to eternally suffer for their good deed.)
George went for a LOVELY joyride, without a helmet (which was legal, because he was in Pennsylvania, where people don't wear motorcycle helmets, cuz they're freakin' idiots.), and was just hitting 81 North, when out of nowhere, George over an old lady. Because George had no idea how to stop, and somehow still had a conscience, he was worried, and turned his head, but kept going. Too bad for him, that there was a cop right there. George became involved in a high-speed chase, carrying him across the country (for somehow he managed to stop for gas periodically), and was followed by more and more policemen for NOT wearing a helmet (because, in other states, not wearing a helmet on a motorcycle is illegal, cuz THEIR governor's are SMART.).
Eventually, the chase reached San Francisco, and while George had always wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge, he hadn't wanted to see it while flying off of it to his doom. The Man in the Yellow Hat, who, after completing his short task, had been attempting to follow George, found that he was too late. He had been right in assuming that Satan would go back on his word, and collect George's soul as a monkey-demon thing for forever. Except there was a twist. God, who had been watching this on CNN with great interest, realized that this wasn't George's fault, and immediately sent a Herald to collect George.
Because of the conflict of George's dearly departed soul, war, once again, broke out between Heaven and Hell. Nothing could be done. The earth was ravaged, and Apocalypse had finally come. All was doomed to doomity, and it was all because of Curious George. No one could have predicted that the bringer of the Apocalypse would be a monkey. During this lovely and terrible time, George's soul ascended to Heaven, to live in peace and glory, living with his 8 brothers and sisters, mother, and Rafi the Giraffe, who are from the very, very first book involving Curious George when he still lived in the jungle, where all little monkeys belong.
The moral of the story is: Monkeys should stay in the jungle, where they cannot get their paws on high-
tech equipment and cause many deaths, pains, sufferings, and even
Apocalypse.
Or...Never give a monkey a motorcycle
This incredibly demented story was written by Briget, inspired by her little sister (Alice) telling the aforementioned author about her friend's
idea for her cookie book.
If you give a monkey a motorcycle...
HE'LL RUN OFF A BRIDGE LIKE CURIOUS GEORGE AND DIE!!!!!
The Day Curious George Found the Motorcycle (Otherwise Known as the Last Curious George Book. Ever. Ever Never Ever.)
One day the Man in the Yellow Hat (who was really Satan's servant, and only wore a yellow suit to throw people off) came home on a Harley. He got it from his master in the Underworld. (HELL!!! HELL!!! WORSHIP SATAN IN ALL HIS GLORY!!!) When Curious George saw the pretty motorcycle, his eyes twinkled with mischief. The Man in the Yellow Hat noticed this immediately, and, despite all of Satan's attempts, The Man in the Yellow Hat still felt affection, and did not want his twisted, monkey friend to be harmed.
"George," The Man began, "Ahem...George, never touch my motorcycle, for it is a shiny, lovely, safe and fun toy, I mean, dangerous piece of equipment. And even though my connections to the Underworld have made so that you can never die, thus making you the monkey of hell, it doesn't mean that you can just play with my motorcycle, for my Master will probably come for your damned monkey soul anyway, and make you a servant for the Underworld, just like me. I mean. Um..."
Suddenly, The Man in the Yellow Hat was psychically contacted by Beelzebub, the prince of the Underworld, and son of Satan, telling him that he was needed for some crisis created by the angels of heaven. The Man in the Yellow Hat dashed off into the deep, dark, fiery pit that Beelzebub had created in the middle of the sidewalk.
Curious George, being a curious little monkey, started over, but the pit closed up before he had a chance to run into its fiery depths. Saddened, George turned around, and saw at once, the shiny, lovely, safe and fun toy that was the Harley. Ignoring the stares of the neighbors, who had seen The Yellow Hatted Man run into the pit, George headed for the shiny, lovely, safe and fun toy that was the Harley.
He decided that he would disobey The Man in the Yellow Hat, for it was just too much fun! Also, it was just too easy, being a demon-monkey, to disobey. When he got into the seat, George saw that the SHINY keys had been hastily left in the ignition. He just couldn't resist turning them.
(It should now be noted that George has had previous encounters with keys, such as when he found the car keys, and drove around, and was only stopped by the meaningless servants of the Underworld who sacrificed their lives to save George. Unfortunately for them, they went to Heaven, to eternally suffer for their good deed.)
George went for a LOVELY joyride, without a helmet (which was legal, because he was in Pennsylvania, where people don't wear motorcycle helmets, cuz they're freakin' idiots.), and was just hitting 81 North, when out of nowhere, George over an old lady. Because George had no idea how to stop, and somehow still had a conscience, he was worried, and turned his head, but kept going. Too bad for him, that there was a cop right there. George became involved in a high-speed chase, carrying him across the country (for somehow he managed to stop for gas periodically), and was followed by more and more policemen for NOT wearing a helmet (because, in other states, not wearing a helmet on a motorcycle is illegal, cuz THEIR governor's are SMART.).
Eventually, the chase reached San Francisco, and while George had always wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge, he hadn't wanted to see it while flying off of it to his doom. The Man in the Yellow Hat, who, after completing his short task, had been attempting to follow George, found that he was too late. He had been right in assuming that Satan would go back on his word, and collect George's soul as a monkey-demon thing for forever. Except there was a twist. God, who had been watching this on CNN with great interest, realized that this wasn't George's fault, and immediately sent a Herald to collect George.
Because of the conflict of George's dearly departed soul, war, once again, broke out between Heaven and Hell. Nothing could be done. The earth was ravaged, and Apocalypse had finally come. All was doomed to doomity, and it was all because of Curious George. No one could have predicted that the bringer of the Apocalypse would be a monkey. During this lovely and terrible time, George's soul ascended to Heaven, to live in peace and glory, living with his 8 brothers and sisters, mother, and Rafi the Giraffe, who are from the very, very first book involving Curious George when he still lived in the jungle, where all little monkeys belong.
The moral of the story is: Monkeys should stay in the jungle, where they cannot get their paws on high-
tech equipment and cause many deaths, pains, sufferings, and even
Apocalypse.
Or...Never give a monkey a motorcycle
This incredibly demented story was written by Briget, inspired by her little sister (Alice) telling the aforementioned author about her friend's
idea for her cookie book.