To allyg1990 for giving me the idea

Updated and edited for more humor and less bitterness!

Mystique makes everyone cry.

Ever wonder who has the guts to stand up to Mystique? The Brotherhood are about to find out! And why Mystique keeps Sabretooth around

Warning: This story is rated M for a reason for language, incidences of verbal abuse, and implied extreme bedroom maneuvers. It takes a while to get to the good stuff, but it's worth it.

You have been warned!

As always, my story, their characters, 'Nuff said.

B Word

"Goddammit! Get your asses down here NOW!"

Downstairs they could hear Raven slamming doors and throwing dishes in the sink. With four teenage boys in the house that was a lot of cleaning up to do. Not to mention feeding.

"I did not sign up for this shit."

All around her were holes in the walls, dirty dishes and half eaten food. The railing had to be repaired, the sofa was falling apart, they desperately needed a new dishwasher (her lately) and the lawn hadn't been mowed in weeks.

"I SAID!"

"Uh, oh, what did you do this time, Toad?" Freddy asked.

"Me? I ain't done jack, yo."

"Well, whatever happened, Mystique sure is pissed about it." Pietro said.

"Sure, uh, you first, ya know?"

"Come on, let's get this over with."

Reluctantly they walked down the stairs. At the bottom, Raven was waiting for them, her hands on her hips and tapping her foot furiously.

"Uh, hey, Mystique, like, uh, what's up?" Toad bounced keeping himself behind Freddy and Pietro.

"You want to tell me what THIS is all about?!"

"Um, what?"

"This!" She screamed flinging her arms wide and pointing around the room.

As far as the Brotherhood could tell, everything was the way they had left it. Pizza boxes, scattered rug, piles of discarded games and DVD's, everything was exactly the same.

"You don't see anything wrong with living like this?" She asked tapping her foot harder.

"I didn't do it!" Freddy said.

"That's exactly what I mean! You never DO anything DO YOU?! You just sit around all day eating, stuffing your pie hole and getting fatter and fatter while this place falls down around your ears."

For a moment Freddy hung his head, his feelings hurt. This is what he was afraid would happen eventually. No one ever looked past his weight to see who he really was inside.

"And YOU! Pietro! With as fast as you can run did you ever CONSIDER doing SOMETHING about that Goddamn lawn! It would take you what? Two minutes! No, instead you just run around like a chicken with it's head cut off doing NOTHING! You're real good at running AWAY from everything though, aren't you?!"

"I d-d-don't run away..." Pietro whispered.

"And Toad! Don't even get me starter because I'm afraid I won't stop! Half of this damn mess is because of you and your disgusting tongue! You want to make yourself useful?! Why don't you get rid of all these GODDAMN flies! SIT down when I'm talking to you! It's frigging annoying the way you hop and hop and hop all over place! Why don't you walk like a man for once?!"

The Brotherhood House was very quiet after that. Freddy continued to hang his head while Toad tried to stand still, his feet rocking automatically in a nervous tempo. Pietro was the only one that had enough nerve left to look directly at her, and even then he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks.

"What? Did I hurt your feelings? Get all of your sensitivities upset? Well, good because I have news for you! Get used to it! There's a whole big ugly world out there that HATES YOUR GUTS! And you want to know why? Look at you! You're the reason mutants have a bad name!"

Finished, Mystique finally paused. Looking at the three of them she knew she had probably gone over the top but she told herself it was what they deserved, anyway. She didn't allow herself the time to feel remorse or guilt because she already knew where that road led to.

"Just...get out of my face." She said brushing her fingers through her forehead.

"I don't need this..." Pietro said. With a quick jump down the stairs he took off running.

"YY-o, Pietro, w-wait up!" Toad hopped after him. It was a habit and in his nature to hop and regardless of what Mystique said this is who he was.

"Sniff, blub, M-Me too guys!" Freddy cried. Like everything else about him his tears were huge too but he didn't have time to worry about that as he chased after them, the house shaking with his heavy footsteps.

What a B.....

........................................................................................................................................................................

"Dad!"

"Pietro! What are you doing here?" Magneto said standing up. With uncharacteristic force Pietro ran into him burying his head in his shoulder.

"Um, what's this?" Magneto asked awkwardly. He was never one for father-son bonding moments so he wasn't sure what to do.

In the doorway Toad hopped and Freddy sobbed, his body taking up most of the door frame.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"It's M-Mystique! She's, she's, well she's just..." Pietro muffled.

"Y-Yeah! She's like out of control or something! She like, made Freddy cry, yo."

"I ain't cryin'." Freddy cried wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"OK, now calm down. Tell me what happened." He said holding Pietro away at arms length. Like the children that they were sometimes they just needed to talk it out. Chances were they were over reacting and would settle down eventually if you just listened to them.

Like a river they began telling him what happened. What Mystique said and how it made them feel, embellishing each word and syntax for their own benefit. Most importantly to him, what they wanted him, Magneto, the Master of Magnetism to do about it.

"Ah. I see." Magneto said after the last one was finished. "That was rather...harsh."

"Harsh?!" Pietro said incredulously waving his arms. "Harsh is flunking that Chemistry test you studied for when you could have been playing video games! Harsh is asking that cute red headed girl out and being told no! Harsh is getting one ply toilet paper when you asked for two! Screw that, she's just a B..."

"Pietro!"

"Well, it's true dad!"

Magneto paused.

"...You flunked your Chemistry test...?"

"Dad! I'm serious! You have to do something about her!"

"For real, yo." Toad agreed hopping with excitement.

"I'll see what I can do. In the mean time, why don't you go back home. I'm sure Mystique has had to have calmed down by now."

It had been four hours of the same drama over and over again and he was getting a headache. In all reality he could see how Raven could snap like that after dealing with teenagers day in and day out.

Dialing the number Magneto re-rehearsed what he was going to say.

"Raven, this is..."

"I know damn well who this is! So the Almighty Magneto decides to finally call me after six months and dropping his kid off on me? Gee thanks! It's just too bad you can't see me genuflecting here to your royal highness."

"Raven now wait!"

"No! You wait! I am sick and tired of you pawning off your snotty little brats on me."

"Rav..." At this rate he would never get a word in edgewise.

"You let me finish, dammit!" She yelled.

"I am tired of this dumpy old house while you sit in LaLa Land planning your grand schemes for world domination! I have been waiting for thirty years now."

"Now you just wait." Magneto said.

"Wait for what? Wait for you to fix up this dump? Wait for mutant equality? What exactly am I supposed to wait for this time?"

"Um, uh..." He really didn't have anything to say to that.

"That's what I thought."

Click.

Magneto was quiet for a very long time. In reality some of the words she said were very true. He had dumped Pietro on her and put her in charge of the Brotherhood House while he had bigger plans of mutant liberation. He didn't really think about how that would effect her; just that somehow, someway, she would be part of his plans and would go along with them. He never thought about 'if' she would go along with it. He just always assumed she would.

"What a B...." He said.

.......................................................................................................................................................................

"I ain't goin' in dere." Gambit said.

Like cowboys in an old time movie the Acolytes and the Brotherhood stood outside the overgrown yard facing the Brotherhood House. Word had gotten out and the rumor was that the house was the kiss of death to everyone that entered it. With Mystique on a real roll, they would be lucky to escape with their masculinity intact.

"Too bad. Magneto says we go in, we go in." Piotr said.

He had always been a good little soldier but even facing down this house he felt like he would rather take on a hundred Wolverines. On Steroids. And crack. On steroids and crack.

"Yo, Piotr." Toad said waving his fingers in front of his eyes and pointing at the house.

"WTF are you doing?"

"Heyyy...it's like those war movies, yo! You know, where they give signs with their fingers and stuff!"

"Oh, give me a break!" Everyone groaned.

"I'll take the back." Piotr said.

"I got the front."

"KP duty, sir!" Toad said half saluting.

"Ugh, I guess that leaves me with the Latrines." Freddy heaved.

"Quit yer complainin'."

They all knew that Sabretooth had the biggest and most dangerous job of all. Which is exactly why Magneto had sent him in the first place. They kind of knew the plan and were hoping beyond hope that it would work. Mostly this involved large amounts of liqour which, thanks to Creed's healing factor he was mostly immune to.

Tentatively they stood on the perimeter while Sabretooth walked, no marched, up to the front door.

"Now that is one brave man." Pietro said in awe.

"Ain't disagreeing dere, homme." Gambit said.

"Open up, dammit! I know yer in there! I can smell ya!"

"What the Hell are you doing here?!" Raven yelled jerking open the door.

"Hey babes. Miss me?" Sabretooth grinned.

A quick slap was his answer but that only made Sabretooth smile more. No one ever said Raven hit like a girl and years of training and fighting could bring the skin off a normal man. Thankfully, Sabretooth was no normal man. Absently he wiped the blood off his jaw and smiled.

"Now you know you only save that for later." He said his head bent to the side and healing fast.

"Well look who decides to show up." She looked at her watch dramatically "It's only been...Fifteen days, eight hours, and ninety five minutes ago."

"Aw, ya did miss me."

"Like a hole in the head."

"That can be arranged.

"Fuck you."

"Not as much as I'd like."

"Gee Vic ego much?"

"Ya know you love me." He said grinning.

"Shut up. Scat cat. Or do I have to get out the hose?"

He was really starting to piss her off and neither the Acolytes or the Brotherhood could believe their ears. No one had ever talked to Raven that way. As in ever.

Well except for Sabretooth.

"If ya got so much talent in flappin' yer jaws I got somethin' else you can do with that mouth of yours."

"Why you."

"Yeah, yeah, Get going, hold on, and shut up." Sabretooth said lifting Raven bodily by the waist and carrying her to his motorcycle.

"You let me down!" Raven screamed beating his back in futility. "Oh, no you don't! I see you laughing Gambit! Do you think this is funny?! Do I look like a Jokester to you?"

She yelled her voice getting smaller and smaller in the distance.

"Shut the $#% up....."

After the roar of the motorcycle that was all they heard after that.

"Whew, thank God that's over." Pyro said.

What a B......

........................................................................................................................................................................

"Man, am I beat."

"You ain't kidding."

"Yo, let's like, not do this again."

"So long as you don't break anything, I think we are good here, da?"

It had taken the Brotherhood and the Acolytes most of the day but the lawn was mowed (thanks to Pietro), the railing fixed (that was Piotr's job), and the holes patched (Toad's job). The had even painted the living room and straightened up the rug and the video games. In the kitchen, Freddy was finishing putting the dishes away and cleaning out the refrigerator.

"You think this is any good?"

"Oh, God, Freddy, not this again." Pyro moaned.

"Freddy, it's just food. It isn't love." Pietro said patting him on the arm.

"One way to find out." He said tasting the blank jar of mystery food. With a grumble his stomache processed the contents and stirred them around.

"Yup, still good." He said with a giant burp.

"Eeew, Freddy, just like throw it out, yo." Toad said.

"That's rich coming from a guy that eats bugs."

"Well, I hope Raven likes it." Piotr said looking around at all the hard work they had done.

"Dude! What's not to like?! We cleaned the kitchen, fixed the stairs, painted the living room, mowed the lawn..."

"Not ta mention the bathrooms, yo!"

"Yeah! I mean, she can't find anything to say now!" Pietro exclaimed.

What they weren't saying was that as mean as she was about it, Raven was absolutely right about the house falling down. And now that they had put some work into it, they were feeling proud of themselves. Like it was a real home for them and anyone coming in wouldn't be embarrassed for them. Now, they didn't have to feel ashamed.

Yup, it was a nice house.

BANG!

With a loud crash they heard the front door slam open with the force of a hurricane, interrupting their revelry and splintering its frame with the force. Oblivious to the Brotherhood, Sabretooth had apparently kicked the door open in his haste and was now heading upstairs.

"Fuck." Pyro said.

It had taken him half the day to hang that door right.

"Close." Gambit replied to the word.

"Eeeew, old people sex."

"Not again...." Pietro groaned.

Evidently things had gone right after all.

"You mean this happens all the time?"

"How do you think this place got this way in the first place?"

They never asked where Vic went on his 'dates' anymore and didn't think it was that unusual when he disappeared for a few days. All they knew was they were glad to see him go when it got to be couple weeks or so.

Now they knew better.

"Yeah man, first the walls then the sofa, yo. I don't know about the railing, though."

Everyone jumped up from the sofa after that.

THUMP!

"Just drop the other shoe already!" Pietro yelled.

THUMP!

"Sheesh, they keep this up and that chandeliers coming down." Piotr said watching the ceiling buck and shimmy.

CRASH! TINKLE! SMASH!

"I think that was the picture."

"Oh no, not the one I gave him for Christmas!"

"Nah, that was the mirror."

BAM! SMASH! CRACK!

"And that was definitely the chest of drawers."

"Ouch."

"What the Hell are they doing up there?!"

"Um, moving furniture...?" Pietro said.

"Nothin' you wanna know of homme."

"Oh my God!"

"Gee, I didn't know Raven was that religious."

THUMP THUMP THUMP BAM!

"I'm out of here." Pietro said.

"Me, too."

"Same here."

"Wait for me."

"There's gotta be some semblance of innocence left in me."

........................................................................................................................................................................

Later

"I hate you."

"Yeah, yeah, shut up and go to sleep."

What a B….

....................................................................................................................................................................

The next morning Freddy woke up to the most heavenly scent he had ever smelled.

"What's that?" He asked sleepily his nose in the air.

Already his stomach was growling and he pulled his covers off, stretching in the morning light.

"I'm not sure. Is that Mystique?" Pietro said pulling the pillows off his ears.

It had been a long night and the pillows seemed like they were glued to his head.

Although they shared a room and it wasn't even time to go to school they could hear Mystique downstairs.

Was she…humming?

That was definitely something they didn't hear every day.

"I don't believe it." He said.

"Yeah, finally, yo." Toad said bouncing into the room.

None of the Acolytes or the Brotherhood had gotten much sleep.

And apparently neither did Raven or Creed.

"What's the record this time?" Pietro yawned looking at his watch.

"Um, I fell asleep around two in the morning so I guess around six hours."

"Vic's da man." Gambit mumbled from his sleeping bag on the floor.

"Amazing."

Half asleep they stepped tepidly towards the kitchen. For Freddy this was hard to do but he was just as curious as the others. This time he didn't have to walk over the second step.

In the kitchen Mystique was busy making breakfast, a bowl of pancake mix on her hip and a cook book on the counter. The smell of bacon and eggs greeted them as they entered.

"Good morning!" She said still humming.

"Um, yeah." Pietro said taking in the scene before his eyes.

Not only was it the weirdest site to see Raven making breakfast but seeing Creed sitting in the chair at the head of the table was too much.

It was like a psychopathic Norman Rockwell.

It wasn't like Raven to make them breakfast and they usually did without until lunchtime when they could finally eat. Magneto had bought them lunch vouchers at the beginning of the year so normally it was their only well balanced meal of the day. They didn't think take-out and pizza counted as part of their three squares a day.

"Pancakes? They're blueberry." Raven smiled mixing another batch.

"Are you kidding me?" Freddy asked rubbing his eyes.

"I know how growing boys like blueberry pancakes." She cooed.

Across from them Creed just smiled showing way too many teeth.

No one ever said they didn't owe him. His hair was knotted and his eyes red rimmed as he sipped his coffee occasionally swatting Raven's backside whenever she was close.

"Wow. Orange juice and everything." Pyro said looking at the breakfast table.

"You like it? It's fresh squeezed." Raven hummed.

Silently they sat down at the table, still uncomfortable at the situation and not sure what to do.

"Come on! Eat!" Raven ordered when she saw them hesitate.

They all knew it was an unspoken truce but after yesterdays fiasco they didn't want to argue.

"Um, OK." Pietro said.

Being the unofficial leader of the Brotherhood House the rest waited until he started.

With genuine shock Pietro took a bite.

"Whoa." He said taking his first bite.

It had to be the best breakfast he had ever had.

Much better than dry cereal any day.

"Good, ain't it?" Sabretooth said.

He'd already had breakfast and he was satisfied in more ways than one.

Agreeing the Acolytes and Brotherhood chewed their food munching on pancakes and drinking their orange juice.

"Man, Vic, you can come over anytime!" Freddy said already on his second serving.

"Yeah, dude, I ain't never seen Mystique this happy, yo." Todd whispered pouring the syrup.

Raven had her back turned and was already busy at the griddle, still humming.

"My pleasure." Creed said.

"I bet."

"Now, who wants bacon and eggs?"

The End