Title: Attack of the Killer What?
Word Count: 436 words
Summary: Harry and Hermione spend Christmas break looking for something that's trying to kill Harry.
A/N: This prompt is brought to you by: imdeadsothere. Thanks for the prompt! 

This is ridiculous, Harry thought, as he crouched under the table with his best friend, Hermione Granger. They'd spent the last eight days creeping about Grimmauld Place hunting and destroying things that Hermione was convinced were out to get Harry.

First had been the music box in the parlor off the foyer, after it fell on Harry's toes. Hermione'd blasted it with a vicious reducto curse, and then proceeded to explain that she'd had an odd dream that Voldermort was going to try and destroy Harry with an ordinary object that no one would suspect.

Next, she'd turned her suspicious eyes onto a toaster that'd startled Harry when it popped Ginny's toast up. She had eyed it warily all through breakfast, as though sure it would jump off the counter and strangle Harry with its cord. When it burned her toast, she whispered to Harry that her suspicions were confirmed and as soon as everyone had left the room, made Harry help her interrogate it. When it stayed silent, Hermione glared darkly at it and banished it to Merlin-knows-where.

Then there'd been a lamp that gave Harry a little shock (she'd hurled some sort of blasting curse at it after it refused to answer her questions), a step he'd tripped over (she'd promptly removed it and burned it to ash, then spent the rest of the evening dodging Mrs. Weasley), and now the very latest, a dining room chair that had given him a splinter.

This was Harry's last day of holidays and he wished Hermione would just destroy the chair and get it over with. Just as he was about to suggest it, the chair in question morphed into a little wooden Rottweiler.

"Attack of the killer wooden doggy menace!!" Hermione bellowed loudly, whipping out her wand.

Harry stared at the crazed wooden apparation incredulously. Hermione'd been right! As the chair-turned-animal lunged for Hermione, Harry came to his senses and pulled his wand from a fore-arm holster that Hermione had been making him wear.

"Reducto magnico!" he and Hermione shouted at the same time. The dog-thing was reduced to a pile of twigs.

Catching her breath quickly, Hermione turned to Harry with a smug look on her face.

"Go ahead. Say it. I know you want to," Harry huffed.

".. Now go fetch Mrs. Weasley and a trash bag. The adults need to know of this attempt on your life and this mess needs cleaning."

Harry scowled at his friend and stomped away muttering under his breath.

"Attack of thekiller what!?" Ron yelled, running into the kitchen.

Harry glared murderously at him, while Hermione just giggled.