Natalie: Hello, welcome to the show. I am Natalie Double K Goodman, and this is My Life Sucks More Than Yours. I am here with my dad…
Dan: Natalie, what the hell are you doing?
Natalie: Right, and my mom…
Diana: I like fluorescent light bulbs.
Natalie: Sure, and my boyfriend.
Henry: Nat, are you saying that I suck?
Natalie: No, stupid. I love you.
Henry: Yay! Natalie loves me!
Natalie: You're damn right! And this is a picture of my dead brother. *picks up picture* His name is Gabriel Thomas, but call him Gabe, unless you hate him, much like I do.
Henry: Nat, you hate the brother you don't even know.
Natalie: Duh, that's the point! I'm here, and all my parents ever think about is Gabe.
Henry: Uh, you mean your mom?
Natalie: Psh, whatever! I don't give a fu-
Diana: WHEE! I'M A BEE! *crashes into kitchen table*
Dan: Smooth, Di.
Natalie: Excuse that little interruption from my bi-polar mother and impolite father. So anywho, now I'm going to do something I've always wanted to do. Henry, can I pretty please borrow your lighter?
Henry: *takes lighter out of pocket* What are you doing?
Natalie: I am going to burn this picture of Gabe. Ah, it's sometimes great to be a pyromaniac.
Henry: I wouldn't do that…
Natalie: *snatches lighter* Shut up. Ladies and gentlemen, before your very eyes, I am going to burn this picture of Gabriel Thomas Goodman, who only lived to be 8 months old!
Henry: You're giving too much information.
Natalie: Do I give a shit?
Henry: Apparently not.
Natalie: Okay, so here we go. *burns picture to ashes* TAH-DAH!
Diana: Wake up in the morning feeling like …
Natalie: You don't even know who is!
Diana: Where's the picture of Gabe?
Natalie: *proudly* I burnt it!
Diana: OH MY GOODNESS! WHY? *begins to cry* Please tell me you're kidding! Please tell me you're just hiding it! *laughs hysterically* Who wants to play hide-n-seek?
Natalie: I guess I'm off the hook.
Diana: Oh no you're not, Natalie Kristin Katharine Goodman. You've got hell to pay madam. Lots and lots of hell.
Natalie: Well, I guess this ends the show. I'm Natalie Double K Goodman.
Henry: I'm Henry Glaceau.
Dan: I'm going to beat my ruthless daughter.
Diana: I AM A BANANA!
Natalie, Henry: Okay, bye!