Author's Notes: Splash is a story that came from a challenge. The
challenge was called "Vampires in Skivies" and was given to me by a good
friend on Eternal Angel
(). The challenge had
to have: *Angel flexing his boob muscles, *Spike in tighty whities, *Faith
checking out Angel, *Wes screaming like a girl while going down a
waterslide, *and Cordy writing a letter to Doyle. This is my story that I
wrote for that challenge.
It is rated G and I don't claim any of these characters as my own. They belong to Joss Whedon.
Enjoy!
*~*~*
Hey,
Time to write another chapter in the Amazing Adventures of Angel Investigations. I should write a book, I swear. You would have so busted up at this group though if you had seen them a week ago.
I got a vision. Big surprise, huh? Well anyway, I got a vision about this water demon. Wesley said he was a Ynarian demon or something like that. He gets his power from water and anytime he's around a lot of it he is very powerful and seeing as he's a demon he was not playing well with others. So not good for a city not too far from the beach. But I got to wear my bathing suit! It's a two-piece bathing suit in this really cool silver material and the cut of the suit shows off.well anyway, back to the story.
Wesley said that this kind of demon is seriously allergic to slayer blood. Remember when I wrote to you about Buffy? Well, with her being gone and all, we only had one slayer to turn to. Faith. I told you about her too. We go into the prison to talk to her and she hasn't changed much. Well, ok, she's changed a little. But she still called me Queen C. If only she knew that I was the Princess of Pylea. I didn't trust her. But she came through for us. She managed to get us some blood. And I do not even want to know how she extracted it. But I'm a little curious about how she managed to get it to us. Hm. Anyway, I think she has a thing for Angel. She looked like she could eat him alive. I'm thinking.Angel's definitely salty goodness, always has been, but I don't know, I guess I see him in more of the older brother fashion now. It's hard to see him the way she OBVIOUSLY was. The dope didn't even seem to get the hint either. Hello! Subtlety doesn't work with men! No offense. But it's true! She was eying him like he was a feast she was starving for! Like he was the crème in her Twinkie! Like he was an all day lollypop she was going to make last three days! She wanted to smoke his sausage! She was ready to show him what she'd do for his Klondike bar! Well, you get the point. You should have seen it. Really, they'd probably work as a couple though. Both having a dark side and all. Where was I? Oh yeah.
So the demon isn't exactly made of water but it looks like it. It's more of gel or a slime than water. Anyway we knew he was around but we couldn't find him for anything. Spike, you remember me telling you about Spike right? Well he came to LA looking for Drusilla. Now that Buffy's dead, I guess he thought he was going back to Drusilla. Willow had told us stuff about Spike loving Buffy, but I don't believe that. I mean, Buffy? She's a vampire slayer! Why would ANY vampire fall in love with her? Well, except Angel. Angel's different though. He's got a soul. So Spike was a big pain in our ass for a while, trying to start trouble and I just thought we should stake him and get it over with. I mean, come on! He's just a vampire. We've dealt with them a hundred times before. But noooo! Angel had to pull him aside and give him the lets all get along speech. Spike seems to have bought it though. He's been fighting with us, but you know I don't trust him. There are only four people I trust in this world. I trust Gunn, Wesley, Angel, and.you. I mean, if you were here.
Anyway, Spike found a flyer about a big water park called 'Splash' opening up. They're having a big grand opening thingie. He was probably looking for some party or something where he could find free beer, so I don't think he should get credit for finding our lead. But the flyer had this clear gel on it, and so we were pretty sure it was heading in that direction. So, whatever, Spike got the credit, but it was my fingers that had goop on them! Do you know how hard it was to wash off?? I was surprised; I mean it is a water-based creature. But Wesley said it has to be insoluble or else it would dissolve in water. Well, duh!
So anyway, we went to this park, and I'll have you know I was the ONLY one to have the smarts to bring her bathing suit, thank you very much! So I was pretty smiley about that, I mean, it was a water park! So we're looking around for it, and I stripped down to my bathing suit. We spot it and we're hiding, so everyone has time to strip down. Angel was in his boxers and so was Gunn. Wesley and Spike were like twins or something, I nearly laughed. Both of them in white briefs. I guess I was making Spike feel pretty silly because he was going to take them off!!! Ew! So I put my hand over my eyes and told him that if he didn't leave his underwear on I was going to stake him! I don't think he believed me because he chuckled a little, but he left them on.
So we're all stripped down and searching in the dark for a nearly clear creature. Why were we searching? Cuz, Wesley was supposed to be watching it and he lost it!! I tell you, this group would fall apart if it weren't for me, because guess who found it? Me, of course. Well, actually, it jumped me. But that isn't the point! The point is I found it. So I was struggling with it and got knocked in a pool. So the demon was immersed in water and very, very, very, very, very powerful! But Wesley finally jumpstarted his brain because just as I was about to drown he put some of Faith's blood into the water and the demon leaped out as quickly as he could. He let out this screech I could hear from under water! It gives me shivers just to think about it. So Gunn helped me out of the water and I had pretty much decided I wasn't having fun anymore. Wesley went chasing after the thing with Faith's blood. We tried shooting it, but the arrow went right through it. Wesley chased him into this building but the demon was really weak in there because he was cut off from water. But the building was actually a structure for the waterslide that was attached to it. It was like a stairwell. So we are all running up this stairwell because if Wesley doesn't catch it before it hits the slide then it's going directly into water. After a huge slide fest, but still! So we are running up there, and the way Wesley tells it, he had just barely gotten a hold of the demon at the mouth of the waterslide. The demon was far enough away from water that Wesley wasn't having any problems holding him. The demon was starting to dry out and become more like paste than gel. How gross is that? Anyway, I'm not saying he's right or anything but he says that when we came up the stairs and I bumped into him, surprising him, he accidentally let go of the demon and lost his footing. The demon went for the slide and Wesley went tumbling down and after it.
Have I ever told you about how Wesley screams like a girl? He does. It's very funny. We are always sneaking up on him or something to try to make him scream like a girl. One time, I took Angel's duster and put it on a broom and put an old scary Halloween mask on top of it and leaned it up against his office door. I knocked really loud on the door and ran to a hiding spot. He came to the door and flung it open and the mask jumped at him. He threw the papers he had in his hands in the air and leaped back screaming like a girl! It was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen! So he screamed like that going down the slide. It would have been funny if he weren't chasing a water demon going head first down the largest waterslide in California! Angel jumped after him. There are places in the slide where it is closed in and places where it's opened up. Angel waited until Wesley was able to grab the demon and then he grabbed Wesley's leg and lodged himself into one of the closed spots of the waterslide. Wesley took out the vile of Faith's blood and poured it on the demon!
Do you remember that time I tried to make lemon meringue pie? Remember how I burned the lemon part a little? I don't care what Angel says; I think it was still salvageable. I left the part that was burned to the bottom of the pan! So the remember when I put the meringue on, but I didn't let the meringue whip enough. Who the heck can tell the difference between soft peaks and stiff peaks anyway?? So remember how it smelled after I put it in the oven? I thought it said stick it in the oven at 500 degrees for like twenty minutes. Everything takes about twenty minutes when in the oven. It's like a microwave. But apparently this is the only food when put in the oven that only takes a few minutes. How was I supposed to know that I was only browning the top of the meringue? Besides, didn't the crust need to be cooked?
Well anyway, the demon smelled like my burnt pie when Wesley poured the slayer blood on it. It screamed so loud that Wesley and Angel couldn't hear anything for 3 days afterwards! That was pretty funny. The demon just kind of melted away. Needless to say, we aren't making the grand opening to this park!
After wards we were drying off and Spike was teasing Angel about not being able to hear anything. He would walk behind Angel and call him a drowned poof and stuff like that. But Angel saw us all laughing at Spike so he turned around and Spike smiled innocently. Angel demanded to know what Spike was saying and he yelled in Angel's ear that he had said Angel looked snazzy in his boxers. So Angel smiled and flexed his muscles for Spike. Spike shook his head with a look of disgust and flexed HIS muscles. So Angel, not wanting to be out done by Spike, flexed his manly boob muscles! I was cracking up! Spike tried, but he's too lean to be able to flex them like Angel can. He managed to do it but not as good. Angel thinks he won that. Spike thinks he did. Men.
Well, that was our adventure. I wish you were there.
I wish you were here a lot, you know. And not just because I wish you had the visions instead of me, but because I really miss you. I think about you a lot. I always think about all the times we missed. All the times I could have spent getting to know you but I was too busy being the princess you always said I was. I know I wasn't the best person back then. I was kind of a bitch and I made fun of you a lot, but I only did that because I liked you so much. I love you, Doyle. I loved you then and I love you now and I think I always will. Part of me hopes that you read these when I write them to you. That you're right over my shoulder reading every word. But the rest of me hopes you are watching the events I talk about in these letters. Either way, I know you watch over us. Just in case, though, I'm going to stop writing this now and I'm going to lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I'm going to pretend you are reading this over my shoulder and that you're standing just behind my chair. I'm going to lean my head back and pretend I'm leaning back against your stomach. I'm going to take a deep breath and pretend I smell your aftershave. And if you do happen to be there. Stay. Please.
Love Always,
Cordelia
It is rated G and I don't claim any of these characters as my own. They belong to Joss Whedon.
Enjoy!
*~*~*
Hey,
Time to write another chapter in the Amazing Adventures of Angel Investigations. I should write a book, I swear. You would have so busted up at this group though if you had seen them a week ago.
I got a vision. Big surprise, huh? Well anyway, I got a vision about this water demon. Wesley said he was a Ynarian demon or something like that. He gets his power from water and anytime he's around a lot of it he is very powerful and seeing as he's a demon he was not playing well with others. So not good for a city not too far from the beach. But I got to wear my bathing suit! It's a two-piece bathing suit in this really cool silver material and the cut of the suit shows off.well anyway, back to the story.
Wesley said that this kind of demon is seriously allergic to slayer blood. Remember when I wrote to you about Buffy? Well, with her being gone and all, we only had one slayer to turn to. Faith. I told you about her too. We go into the prison to talk to her and she hasn't changed much. Well, ok, she's changed a little. But she still called me Queen C. If only she knew that I was the Princess of Pylea. I didn't trust her. But she came through for us. She managed to get us some blood. And I do not even want to know how she extracted it. But I'm a little curious about how she managed to get it to us. Hm. Anyway, I think she has a thing for Angel. She looked like she could eat him alive. I'm thinking.Angel's definitely salty goodness, always has been, but I don't know, I guess I see him in more of the older brother fashion now. It's hard to see him the way she OBVIOUSLY was. The dope didn't even seem to get the hint either. Hello! Subtlety doesn't work with men! No offense. But it's true! She was eying him like he was a feast she was starving for! Like he was the crème in her Twinkie! Like he was an all day lollypop she was going to make last three days! She wanted to smoke his sausage! She was ready to show him what she'd do for his Klondike bar! Well, you get the point. You should have seen it. Really, they'd probably work as a couple though. Both having a dark side and all. Where was I? Oh yeah.
So the demon isn't exactly made of water but it looks like it. It's more of gel or a slime than water. Anyway we knew he was around but we couldn't find him for anything. Spike, you remember me telling you about Spike right? Well he came to LA looking for Drusilla. Now that Buffy's dead, I guess he thought he was going back to Drusilla. Willow had told us stuff about Spike loving Buffy, but I don't believe that. I mean, Buffy? She's a vampire slayer! Why would ANY vampire fall in love with her? Well, except Angel. Angel's different though. He's got a soul. So Spike was a big pain in our ass for a while, trying to start trouble and I just thought we should stake him and get it over with. I mean, come on! He's just a vampire. We've dealt with them a hundred times before. But noooo! Angel had to pull him aside and give him the lets all get along speech. Spike seems to have bought it though. He's been fighting with us, but you know I don't trust him. There are only four people I trust in this world. I trust Gunn, Wesley, Angel, and.you. I mean, if you were here.
Anyway, Spike found a flyer about a big water park called 'Splash' opening up. They're having a big grand opening thingie. He was probably looking for some party or something where he could find free beer, so I don't think he should get credit for finding our lead. But the flyer had this clear gel on it, and so we were pretty sure it was heading in that direction. So, whatever, Spike got the credit, but it was my fingers that had goop on them! Do you know how hard it was to wash off?? I was surprised; I mean it is a water-based creature. But Wesley said it has to be insoluble or else it would dissolve in water. Well, duh!
So anyway, we went to this park, and I'll have you know I was the ONLY one to have the smarts to bring her bathing suit, thank you very much! So I was pretty smiley about that, I mean, it was a water park! So we're looking around for it, and I stripped down to my bathing suit. We spot it and we're hiding, so everyone has time to strip down. Angel was in his boxers and so was Gunn. Wesley and Spike were like twins or something, I nearly laughed. Both of them in white briefs. I guess I was making Spike feel pretty silly because he was going to take them off!!! Ew! So I put my hand over my eyes and told him that if he didn't leave his underwear on I was going to stake him! I don't think he believed me because he chuckled a little, but he left them on.
So we're all stripped down and searching in the dark for a nearly clear creature. Why were we searching? Cuz, Wesley was supposed to be watching it and he lost it!! I tell you, this group would fall apart if it weren't for me, because guess who found it? Me, of course. Well, actually, it jumped me. But that isn't the point! The point is I found it. So I was struggling with it and got knocked in a pool. So the demon was immersed in water and very, very, very, very, very powerful! But Wesley finally jumpstarted his brain because just as I was about to drown he put some of Faith's blood into the water and the demon leaped out as quickly as he could. He let out this screech I could hear from under water! It gives me shivers just to think about it. So Gunn helped me out of the water and I had pretty much decided I wasn't having fun anymore. Wesley went chasing after the thing with Faith's blood. We tried shooting it, but the arrow went right through it. Wesley chased him into this building but the demon was really weak in there because he was cut off from water. But the building was actually a structure for the waterslide that was attached to it. It was like a stairwell. So we are all running up this stairwell because if Wesley doesn't catch it before it hits the slide then it's going directly into water. After a huge slide fest, but still! So we are running up there, and the way Wesley tells it, he had just barely gotten a hold of the demon at the mouth of the waterslide. The demon was far enough away from water that Wesley wasn't having any problems holding him. The demon was starting to dry out and become more like paste than gel. How gross is that? Anyway, I'm not saying he's right or anything but he says that when we came up the stairs and I bumped into him, surprising him, he accidentally let go of the demon and lost his footing. The demon went for the slide and Wesley went tumbling down and after it.
Have I ever told you about how Wesley screams like a girl? He does. It's very funny. We are always sneaking up on him or something to try to make him scream like a girl. One time, I took Angel's duster and put it on a broom and put an old scary Halloween mask on top of it and leaned it up against his office door. I knocked really loud on the door and ran to a hiding spot. He came to the door and flung it open and the mask jumped at him. He threw the papers he had in his hands in the air and leaped back screaming like a girl! It was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen! So he screamed like that going down the slide. It would have been funny if he weren't chasing a water demon going head first down the largest waterslide in California! Angel jumped after him. There are places in the slide where it is closed in and places where it's opened up. Angel waited until Wesley was able to grab the demon and then he grabbed Wesley's leg and lodged himself into one of the closed spots of the waterslide. Wesley took out the vile of Faith's blood and poured it on the demon!
Do you remember that time I tried to make lemon meringue pie? Remember how I burned the lemon part a little? I don't care what Angel says; I think it was still salvageable. I left the part that was burned to the bottom of the pan! So the remember when I put the meringue on, but I didn't let the meringue whip enough. Who the heck can tell the difference between soft peaks and stiff peaks anyway?? So remember how it smelled after I put it in the oven? I thought it said stick it in the oven at 500 degrees for like twenty minutes. Everything takes about twenty minutes when in the oven. It's like a microwave. But apparently this is the only food when put in the oven that only takes a few minutes. How was I supposed to know that I was only browning the top of the meringue? Besides, didn't the crust need to be cooked?
Well anyway, the demon smelled like my burnt pie when Wesley poured the slayer blood on it. It screamed so loud that Wesley and Angel couldn't hear anything for 3 days afterwards! That was pretty funny. The demon just kind of melted away. Needless to say, we aren't making the grand opening to this park!
After wards we were drying off and Spike was teasing Angel about not being able to hear anything. He would walk behind Angel and call him a drowned poof and stuff like that. But Angel saw us all laughing at Spike so he turned around and Spike smiled innocently. Angel demanded to know what Spike was saying and he yelled in Angel's ear that he had said Angel looked snazzy in his boxers. So Angel smiled and flexed his muscles for Spike. Spike shook his head with a look of disgust and flexed HIS muscles. So Angel, not wanting to be out done by Spike, flexed his manly boob muscles! I was cracking up! Spike tried, but he's too lean to be able to flex them like Angel can. He managed to do it but not as good. Angel thinks he won that. Spike thinks he did. Men.
Well, that was our adventure. I wish you were there.
I wish you were here a lot, you know. And not just because I wish you had the visions instead of me, but because I really miss you. I think about you a lot. I always think about all the times we missed. All the times I could have spent getting to know you but I was too busy being the princess you always said I was. I know I wasn't the best person back then. I was kind of a bitch and I made fun of you a lot, but I only did that because I liked you so much. I love you, Doyle. I loved you then and I love you now and I think I always will. Part of me hopes that you read these when I write them to you. That you're right over my shoulder reading every word. But the rest of me hopes you are watching the events I talk about in these letters. Either way, I know you watch over us. Just in case, though, I'm going to stop writing this now and I'm going to lean back in my chair and close my eyes. I'm going to pretend you are reading this over my shoulder and that you're standing just behind my chair. I'm going to lean my head back and pretend I'm leaning back against your stomach. I'm going to take a deep breath and pretend I smell your aftershave. And if you do happen to be there. Stay. Please.
Love Always,
Cordelia