My wife and I penned this. Our first collaboration, so let is know what you think.
It's not really true to the TV show but hey sometimes we write what we would like to see or feel.
Stepping of the cliff
Sarah and Chuck are walking along the beach predawn Sunday morning after a routine mission. It has taken him a while but Chuck has put together all of the clues and is sure that Sarah loves him. His personal mission this morning is to tell her how he feels and hopefully have her do the same.
"OK Chuck, what was so important that it couldn't wait until tomorrow? I would like to get to bed before my shift this evening."
"Sarah, I promise not to take to long. But if I don't do this now… I don't know when I'll get the courage again."
"What are you talking about?" She really knew this was going to be one of those conversations. She dreaded them more and more because she seemed to have less willpower with each one.
Chuck stood in front of her to stop their progress. "Sarah, I think I've figured out why you're so reticent to speak of feelings between us. And I understand-"
She cut him off. "Chuck, do we really have to have this conversation now? I'm tired and would like to go to bed."
Chuck looked over at a small community of park benches and using his left hand to the small of her back, guided her to the nearest one. He was committed at this point. He looked around and except for an old man sleeping on one, they appeared to be alone.
He looked at her once they were seated with his imploring eyes. He knew they had an impact on her. "Sarah, we've known each other for a year now and I've been very patient with you. From past conversations we've had, let me tell you what I know is true about our relationship, the real one not the pretend one."
She started to protest but then thought that she would like to know what he knew to be true.
He stopped to look around to see if anyone was within earshot. Except for the man two benches down, they were alone. "First off, I know that you care about me. I know it. There's no use in denying it. Secondly, you believe that this is wrong in some way so you try to keep it from me. Maybe in that way you can deal with it better yourself, I don't know."
Chuck stopped talking and looked out at the ocean, the waves showing tiny whitecaps as the sun began to touch the water. He took both hands and rubbed them through his hair, took a deep breath and then looked back to Sarah. "Here's the thing. It's time I got this out in the open… I'm in love with you. I think I have been ever since our first date."
Sarah gasped and looked away from him to the man on the bench asleep. He said it so suddenly that she was caught off guard. Her heart was racing like the wind wiping over the water. When she looked back to Chuck she could see he had tears in his eyes. He had taken that step off the cliff hoping in fate or destiny or whatever force it was that brought two people together at the right time and place. She knew as well the kind of courage it took for him to do this. She needed time to think, to sort through her feelings, the feelings that she kept under the surface because it was just easier that way. Not knowing what to say she stalled for time.
"Chuck, could you get me a cup of coffee from that vendor? He's just opening up." She looked at him, her white teeth gleaming with an apologetic smile. "When you get back we'll talk."
Chuck searched her eyes looking for the bottom, but could not guess what was behind her request.
"Sure," he said sighing and walked slowly to the small stand about 50 yards away.
Sarah sat with her head in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees as she messaged her forehead. Her mental argument was:
If I tell him how I feel, it will affect our behavior and could affect our future missions. It was his behavior she worried about. She knew that he did not handle her being with other men well at all. And she knew that was sometimes called for in her line or work. Also, he could get killed or we have to split up for some other reason. She knew that that would be agony as well. And finally, she feared that if Graham or Beckman found out about this relationship they would reassign her with a blemish on her to now, spotless record. On the positive side, she would have less internal conflict if she would give into her feelings and just deal with whatever she had to deal with. She knew if she needed to she could muscle her way through her supervisors. Weighing it all, she was inclined to keep her mouth shut even though she knew he would be angry at her. Just under conscious thought was the fact that it was frightening to think about stepping off the cliff herself, even when she knew how he felt.
She looked over at him and saw he was third in line. She let out a sigh.
"You're making this a lot harder than it needs to be, young lady." The old man who was asleep on the park bench was now sitting up looking directly at her.
She smiled at him but did not answer.
"Let me ask you one question?" He looked at her; something must have told him she would not engage in this conversation. "Young lady, you will never see me again most likely and if you tell me your heart… it won't matter one bit to this world."
She thought about it and then said. "Since you've been eavesdropping on our conversation, tell me what you think is so simple about it?"
"I didn't say it was simple. I said that you were making it too hard." He shifted his position on the bench to get more comfortable. "No it's far from simple. Let me ask you one question though, how old are you?"
I'm not sure why you need to know that but I'm 28 years old. Why does it matter?"
I'll tell you why. From what I can tell, your job somehow conflicts with this relationship. This young man loves you and you love him but because it will somehow jeopardize your job, you are reluctant to commit yourself to him. The only thing I can think of is that you're a military officer and he's an enlisted man." Is that right?"
Sarah thought about it for a second and thought that scenario was pretty close.
She looked at the man a little closer having discerned that he had some substance to what he was saying. "Yes, that's very close." So you can see why-"
"Do you plan to stay in your job long term and does he?"
"Yes, I suppose at least in my case. I don't really think about it."
"Young lady, you are 28 years old. A third maybe more of your life is over. Are you a spiritual person?" he said changing the subject on her.
"Are you asking me if I believe in an afterlife?"
"Yes"
"No."
"Then from your perspective, you are making this sacrifice of your own feelings and happiness for some greater good here on this world. Say… for your country."
Sarah was now somewhat alarmed at how quickly this old man was zeroing in on the truth. "You were saying that I was making this hard." She looked over to Chuck who was now being waited on.
"Let me make it less hard for you. Your first duty is to yourself, right?"
"I'm not sure in my case that I can agree with that."
"You have to and here's why. If you don't take care of yourself first you cannot be your best physically, mentally and spiritually which leads to less than optimum performance at whatever you believe to be more important."
Sarah knew she ate right and kept herself in top physical conditioning for her job. She kept up to date on all new techniques from fighting to surveillance. It was a revelation to think about other aspects of herself needing to be in the same top form to perform at peak efficiency. Happiness was one she had never considered in this way.
"Your first duty is to yourself. Then and only then are you able to give your all to the job. That… is making it a little less hard. Now if you would excuse me I need to be moving on," he said with much more dignity than his appearance bestowed.
Sarah watched the old man hobble back the way that she and Chuck had just come. She was thinking of everything the old man said and did not hear Chuck come up to her.
"Here you go," he said watching her to detect any change in her mood. She jumped being startled by his proximity. He was surprised by her reaction having never seen it before. He noticed that she had that distracted look as though she was thinking of something else. He had seen it many times before. He had seen all of her looks. This one could be bad or good, he had seen it go both ways.
She looked at the coffee then up to see Chuck's face. She admitted to herself that she loved to look at that face. Her decision was made in the twinkle of an eye. "Chuck, about what you told me… you know that you love me. I've just been thinking about it while you were gone and I want us to have more."
Chuck smiled one of those smiles that lit up her heart. His expression said that this was more than he had hoped for. She felt butterflies in her stomach. She watched him sit down beside her and reach for her hand. It felt so good to be open about this.
"Sarah, I've waited a year for this and I want you to know that we can take this at whatever pace you need to take it. I just want you to know that I'm ready. But I got to know… what are you telling me?"
"I'm telling you this. That when I see you for the first time each day my heart flutters. I'm saying that one of my favorite things to do in this whole world is run my hand through your hair. I'm saying that when you touch me on our make-believe dates it takes me ten minutes to recover from my racing heart. I'm saying that you are the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think of when I go to sleep and most of the time I dream of you all night.
Chuck watched her face frown for just a second.
I'm saying that whenever I think about something in my past that is hurtful, I can think of you to take away that pain. What I'm really saying I suppose is… yes, Chuck, I love you."
Chuck kissed her with his heart and felt her reply with the same. When they stopped, Sarah's laugh was the happiest he had ever heard.
"Come on," she said. I want to introduce you to that old man that was asleep on the park bench. She nodded to point out the direction.
"Why is that?" he said too happy to care about her answer.
"Because, my love, you need to thank him."
They got up from the bench and walked slowly back towards where their car was parked. They walked hand in hand, occasionally bumping the side of their bodies into each other. Sarah told Chuck of her conversation with the old man and although they were just right behind him they never found him. But as Los Angeles woke up this uneventful Sunday morning, Chuck and Sarah's lives would never be the same.