Disclaimer: I do not own H50 or the Characters
A/N based on the Javier Colon song Stitch by Stitch
"What was it like?" slightly inebriated detective Williams asked.
"Come on, you know that's classified" His fully drunk SEAL partner replied.
"I'm not asking wha-what you did, I was just asking what it was like" Danny countered.
"Uh… It was, I dunnno, I mean it was hard"
"Were you scared?" the detective pressed his inquiry completely serious.
"Kind of I guess" Steve said dismissively. "Mostly of coming home" was spoken under the commanders' breath assuming the comment had escaped Danno.
"Why?" the shorter continued.
"People were throwing grenades at me and aiming their guns at me on a daily basis" Steve answered, a confused expression plastered on his face.
"Noooo, why were use scared of coming home?" Danno asked, his hands flailing more than usual due to the alcohol.
"I dunno Danno, just because"
"Cause why?"
"I guess, maybe because I didn't know if it would be me coming home, or something like that" Steve responded hoping the questions would die out. Unfortunately, the confused stare coming from Danno made him feel obligated to explore the statement further. "Like, I knew a lot of guys – I met a lot of them when they first got there and then, when they left I could barely recognized them. You know, eventually you find out they are divorced, or that they are in the hospital with PTSD, or something, I dunno. It's just scary to think it might happen to you."
After a moment of silence Danno finally piped up. "Did you?" he asked earnestly.
"Ya, I mean I think so, pretty much the same" Steve answered
"Why not?" Danno continued.
"You really want to know?"
"I asked didn't I?"
"I didn't have anyone waiting for me" Steve stated
"You had your dad, and Mary" Danno suggested.
"They wouldn't exactly have noticed. I kind of wish that it had been me though." This statement was met by a concerned look from Danno. "It's just, they had families, people that cared about them and something to lose. So it should have been me." Steve finished.
Two years later Danno was dropping Steve off at his house. The two had never spoken about the night at the bar, neither of them knew whether or not the other even remembered the conversation.
"I mean goddammit Steve, what am I supposed to tell Grace, 'sorry Grace, Uncle Steve decided to arrest a bad guy in your playroom so your favourite chair is broken!?'. Danno questioned, not really mad but ranting anyways. How was he going to be mad at Steve for that? After all Gracie's playroom was in Steves house. It had been a surprise for Grace's birthday, Steve had known that Grace was not a fan of Danno's apartment so he had set up the playroom and told Danno that he was welcome at Steve's house whenever he had Grace. Danno had felt guilty at first, he had been the one who was moaning about Grace hating his apartment. Somehow, Steve had eventually convinced him to stop being an idiot. Danno imagined Steve was so welcoming because he didn't have much family on the island.
"I have to go back" Steve announced.
"Oh no, we are not driving all the way back to the office, for what anyways? Your favourite swim trunks? No sir, you are going to go into that house and wear you second favourite swim trunks for tomorrows morning swim." Danno, admittedly over reacted to Steve's statement, but that was part of his charm.
"No Danno, I have to go back overseas, the SEALS, I…" Steve trailed off, he didn't know what to say.
Danny's face instantly contorted leaving an angry, concerned and confused expression. Much to both of their surprise the blonde didn't so much as try to formulate words, He just stared at Steve with that face. Danny thought that maybe he was waiting for Steve to finish his statement because surely he had forgotten the 'I have to go help Catherine for a week' or 'I'm just going to help them devise a plan' Hell, Danny would have settled for a 'I'm going to teach the new guys how to activate 5 grenades at the same time' but Steve didn't seem to be formulating any such conclusion.
Finally Steve had to break the silence that had taken the car. "I leave in a week, I don't know how long I'll be gone, 6 months, maybe 2 years."
Danny felt like he'd been punched in the gut and despite his attempts, Steve's softening tone revealed that Danny was not doing a good job of disguising his reaction.
" I talked to the governor – "
"- And he got you out of it" Danny finally managed.
"No, he couldn't even if he wanted to, but he agreed to let you take over 5-0" Steve tried.
"No" the response was completely determined.
"List – "
"No, No Steve, I'm not going to listen to this bull shit, you are the leader of an elite task force, they can't just pull you back".
"Of course they can, and they are" Steve tried to reason.
"Why aren't you fighting this?" Danno asked quietly.
"I did, Danny, but they need me"
"Danno!"
"What?"
"Don't call me Danny, you call me Danno, don't you start pulling away Steve, don't even think about cutting ties, because I swear to God if you do I will go out and enlist right now so I can follow you out there"
'Sorry" was all Steve could manage, if his words had dealt Danno a blow, the blondes words had been a knife to the SEALS heart.
"It's okay" Danno accepted the apology, but continued. "2 years is too long".
"I know" Steve agreed.
"Will we know where you are?" Danno was starting to regret his constant dismissal of all things SEAL because he was actually pretty clueless right now.
"No, Danno" Steve's eyed revealed how hard it was to answer these questions.
"So we can't contact you at all?" Danno made his best attempt to keep his volume at a reasonable level.
"I'm so sorry" was the brunettes only response, the apology wasn't just for their inability to contact each other, it was for the whole situation. When Steve had first returned to Hawaii he had hoped he wouldn't be there for long. He hadn't anticipated meeting people that would make him want to stay.
"5-0 doesn't exist without you" Danny said after a brief pause.
"It could" Steve offered.
"It won't" and that was that.
7 days later Danny was standing in an airport next to a fully uniformed Steve. The SEAL had done most of his goodbyes yesterday but Danno refused to let Steve go to the airport alone. They had been running late and Steve had three minutes to get to the other end of the airport. Danny had gone as far as he could in the bustling building and they were saying their goodbyes, well that wasn't exactly true, Danno had made it clear to Steve that the word 'goodbye' would not be used.
"I don't care if you fall in love with your next partner, when I get back you are going to be a part of 5-0 again" Steve said, half-joking.
Danno gave quick smile before replying "You're dreaming as soon as you get back I'm taking off for Jersey and I will never be stepping foot on this backwards island again." Danno wasn't nearly as convincing as he could have been. Looking at his watch he announced "2:45".
"Gotta Go" Steve said lightly.
The two shared a quick hug which each man would later describe as very manly. Then Steve turned and started walking away.
It's now or ne-later the blonde thought to himself. "Steve…" he called across the crowded area.
Steve turned but he was halfway through security, he couldn't go back no matter how much he wanted to.
Danno wouldn't let that stop him, in a louder voice he called "You have something to lose now, don't let that stop you from coming back okay." Danno paused for just a moment before continuing. "I don't care how long it takes Steve, if you lose yourself then I will not stop until I find you, I will find you!" Danno had meant for that to be the end of his rather embarrassing outburst but he finally found himself continuing. "Come back, because I need you to come back.".
"Thank you, Danno" was all Steve could say, and then he was gone.
Danny had spoken more than he had intended and still he had left the most important thing unsaid. He hoped what he had said was enough to keep Steve going and until he got back.