"We're family."
"You say that like it's some kind of cure all…"
"So. What, we're not family, now?"
Dean sat alone in his room and prayed.
"Cas, he's all I have. How can we not be brothers anymore? Since I was 4 years old, my job was to take care of him, to protect him. But what does a four year old or a ten year old or even a fourteen year old know about that? I just did the best I could and that was whatever felt right so that, in the end, he was ok.
And when Dad told me I might have to kill him, I couldn't understand those words. But I did get the part about saving him. And that is what drives me.
I know he's a grown man. I know he can take care of himself. But when he gave me that speech about seeing the light in the tunnel, he wasn't ready to die or even willing to die. So, I had to stop him in that church. That's what he really wanted me to do. We would find another way.
Sam is angry about Gadreel. Gadreel! He told me he was Ezekiel, a good soldier, you said. How was I supposed to know? All I wanted was to save my brother's life.
Why can't Sam understand that I can't watch him, let him or allow him to die!
He's angry that I left. But I wasn't running away. I just wanted to stop hurting him.
He says he can't trust me. I will always try to save him. He can trust that.
I know people have gotten hurt, even died, even me from decisions I've made and I have to live with that.
But, Cas, he barely speaks to me except about the work.
But we're back together now. I can fix this.
He's right, you know. Something is broken but it's in me.
He doesn't need me to take care of him. I know that; I do.
But, I need him. That's what takes care of me."