It has been six weeks since Ulyssess Innocent, Superintendent Jean Innocents husband was killed in a traffic collision with a drunken driver. I've seen her over the past few weeks. This is her first official day back at work. As she walks through the station the silence is deafening. People stare and whispers begin. I'm surprised she makes it to her office. I wait until lunchtime to see her.
I knock on her door and "Come in" drifts through.
"Ah Lewis what can I do for you?" She asks not looking up from her paperwork.
I sit down and choose my words carefully, "I want you tell me how you are."
She throws down her pen, "I'm fine."
I know she's not and I can see that something has changed she's at a breaking point, "If you say so Ma'am."
She sighs heavily finally looking at me, "What would you like me to do cry? Throw things?"
"If that will help." I counter back.
"It won't, I've tried." She mutters.
I know what is eating at her, "When did it hit you?"
"Last night in Sainsbury's, I went shopping as an excuse to escape my sister and her baby. I put marmite in the trolley didn't realize it until it was being rung up. When I got into my car I cried and cried. I hate marmite, only bought it for Uly." She wails and tears stream down her face.
She's crying now and I move to take her in my arms I let her cry. When she's done I pull her to me and kiss her. It's just a simple meeting of lips a kiss borne of two people who share a unique bond of having lost the ones they love.
She looks into my eyes and I recognize that look of despair seeing it myself in my mirror after too much brandy, "I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that I still buy it or the one day that I won't"
I smile not in laughter but in understanding, "When and if that day arrives, come to me."
She nods and I hate the fact that we are now bonded together by grief but I am grateful that I can help her through this.