The Princess Bride
Introduction: Hetalia (World Series) – The Abridged Version.
Chapter One: Introduction
Skip this, if you suppose my attitude will cause you affront.
(You may also read the last paragraph of this chapter, it is only one long sentence. Also, get used to my parentheses.)
I was disappointed by the movie.
Take into consideration I was aware it would, even though I started with an open mind. This film came out at 1987; I was born a little less than a decade after that. It was lovely.
Yes, I was disappointed. Why? Goldman's version, if you hadn't yet known, was abridged of S. Morgenstern's, a true Florinese. If you hadn't yet known, 'the abridged version' means 'the good parts version', and that would be William Goldman's words, not mine. I couldn't have placed it any more precisely, anyway.
It's a tale of derring-do, 'true love and high adventure'. 'Classic', indeed. I read the book first; my grave mistake. The misstep that was taken before I had any means to take any (the one that first ruined me) was none done on my part. It was my father's. Him having read the book, and watched the movie, my father related it to me, one sleepy night when I asked for a story. Never a better, next to his original tales of 'Young Wonder'.
I had a vivid imagination, even then. I love reading, but I was into it first because of my love for stories. If a book had pictures, I could always make them move. If a book had none, I had my mind.
Needless to say (I should think), it caught, and stuck. I eventually tucked it into the back of my mind, because no matter my differences I was also a child of my generation. Years later (less than a week ago, I admit), I picked up the book, and started to read.
Even less than that ago, my father foraged into difficult uncharted territory; the internet, just to look for something I currently couldn't be bothered with ( a girl I was involved with had just decided that we were to stay friends, albeit special ones, and if that's not enough for you, it wasn't for me, either. As a teen, I took my time to complain, as that is what we are good at)- a link to watch The Princess Bride.
Three paragraphs of varying length, we return to my point. Fezzik, in the first part, came off with a French accent. Also, he was not as big as he should have been, Westley not as handsome, the Sicilian not as cunning, and Buttercup not as pretty.
I shall chalk it up to me being a child of this generation, because if she was the most beautiful woman to walk Florin as of a hundred years (that was most definitely in the book), then Florin must have been small and not as sweeping as Goldman made it out to be.
They skipped many parts. Not just as Goldman did; his was justified (albeit in his mind, and not Stephen King's, but I wasn't a fan of his, anyway. Call it sacrilege. I call it a right to have my own preferences) in removing Morgenstern's praise of trees (that should have a book of its own. I don't begrudge him, I've been known to do the same) and cutting Buttercup's princess training, and how she became an actual princess, or how Westley became 'farm boy'. He believed it would help keep from distraction of the 'true love and high adventure', so I'll let him have that. But the movie production skipped parts from Goldman's version. They skipped parts from the good parts version.
I wouldn't have understood it, if I hadn't read the book. Humperdinck, for one. I wouldn't have known he was he if I hadn't read the book. I wouldn't have known Vizzini to be clever, or the extension of the Count's part (among other things, but that's not the point. I've strayed too much, anyway). I just have to say, they downgraded my favorite part; Inigo's history. Oui, Bonetti, Thibault, Capo Ferro – I'd reread it and reread it au fait, only to be disappointed.
Also, the fall was ridiculous.
So to endure the movie, because I wanted to pay respect to the story which I had fallen in love with, I let my mind wander. I let my mind's eye change what was in front of me. Instead of a too-small giant with messy hair, I saw a big, brawn but out of character Sadik Adnan. Oh, kill me now ( I give you permission). I am not me if I didn't imagine Arthur and Antonio exchanging banter (I replayed the scene and closed my eyes to listen).
So, to the determined readers who have made it through to this two-page display of my attitude, I give you The Princess Bride; The Hetalia Version.