Another square in Sasori's calendar was marked with a blue dot from the red-head's pen. Another day had passed since his love had left him. Sasori sighed and put back the pen on his working desk. He looked around for a while. Everything was as quiet as always... So empty. Sasori felt alone. Abandonned. The apartment itself was so silent, and it didn't help that his beloved one was away. He had no one to talk to, no one to listen to, get irritated on or show love to. Oh, how he missed Deidara's voice... So much. It hurted him.
Five years. He hadn't seen him in more than five whole years.
The brown eyes caught sight of the neatly made double bed. That bed was too big for him... He missed lying there with Deidara. Even though he sometimes rolled over him or caused him to fall off the bed, in the middle of night, he missed having him there on his right side. So that he could listen to him breathing. Stay up a few hours extra and just watch him sleeping, with hearts in his eyes. He missed the smell of his hair...
GOD, he just missed him so much! WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO!
Okay, calm down. He couldn't go crazy now. It was too soon.
Desperatly, Sasori walked over to the bed and threw himself on it. He rolled over to Deidara's side, and pulled the covers away a little, to be able to see the blonde's pillow. It had a few blonde hair threads on it. The sight and smell of the pillow made Sasori smile. Why couldn't he just stop thinking of him?
Was he really going insane? He was smiling at a pillow!
Frustrated, the red-head put the pillow back. He sat up and sighed, trying to get a hold of himself. iI wonder when he'll be back.../i
A rather cold wind sneaked in through the open window, and danced around in the room. This made Sasori feel slightly refreshed, and he caught the idea to go stand by the window to get a little taste of fresh air. Everything seemed to roll on like usual. Nothing new, really. Down on the streets there were tons of cars driving by. The people were walking by, some couples, some families... The snow was gone, but it was still a bit chilly, so people keeped their jackets and coats on. And the lights and stars, plus the moon, brightened up the streets, as the evening floated on.
Those stars... If the streets would have no lights. And if there would be only stars... Then, the night would be so much more beautiful.
Just as beautiful as Deidara...
Damn it! Why did he always forget to forget him!
After five years he should have gotten used to the loneliness, but -OH NO, mr. I'm-a-retard-and-can't-wait-anymore just had to fall in love with this pretty blonde guy who was trying to imitate the most seductive human on earth! Which he was!
Sasori fell down with his back on the madress again. Why was life so hard for people like them?
Let me tell you the story...
Once upon a time- Or to be more specific; Once upon a day when Sasori was out with Pain to go visit a restaurant and have something to eat, he met a very lovely man. It all started with Pain finding one of his old high school friends, Kisame. This 'Kisame' in turn, also seemed to be out with someone. Oh, don't take me wrong here. When I say ibeing out/i, I dont mean like being out on a 'date'. I just mean being out on dinner with your friends. Anyways, Pain had no idea who Kisame's 'friend' really was. But being the kind and warm-hearted man he was, he suggested for them to come chare a table with them. Kisame first thought this was a sudden idea, and that his friend might not want to agree with him wanting to join Pain and Sasori. But Pain convinced him. Kisame went to tell his company, whom was currently in the bathroom, while Pain and Sasori sat down at the new choosen table with four seats.
To mingle with unfamiliar people was nothing that Sasori was good at. He was not the most social person, and prefered to stay inside and read books, work on his puppets or just work. Why had he obeyed when Pain had asked him to come out? Well, that was simply because Pain was good at convincing people, as you might have noticed. Also, the restaurant that they had picked was very highly rated. It had class, and was very chic. Not to say expensive. And that was just how Sasori liked things. Always the best quality and looks.
Now, Sasori and Pain had settled down at their side of the table. The music had filled the air, and everything was calm and steady. Only one thing was missing. Kisame and his 'friend'. And I think you can guess who this 'friend' was, right?
Just like it was, the shark and his company arrived. They both settled down. And just as they settled down, Sasori's heart did the opposite.
"Pain, Sasori, this is my friendi Deidara Katsuhiko./i"
That was the first time Sasori heard the name of the person he would later be living with. Deidara, was the name of the blonde man who was now sitting right in front of him. The beautiful creature warmly introduced himself, and said hello. But Sasori was speechless, and couldn't say a thing. What had happened to him? Well, only god knows. And guess who god was? Pain.
As the time flew by that evening, Pain noticed that both Sasori and Deidara had been talking non-stop. He had also noticed that Sasori was the one who was actually trying to talk. Which he never did. Oh, and that he had this ivery/i uncommon pink blush on his cheeks. It was clear to Pain that Sasori had found interest in Kisame's friend.
Okay, this was good! Pain had nothing to say about it! He was very happy for him. Love at first sight was something he actually thought was very romantic. It didn't happen everyday, and when it happened, it might turn to somthing really big.
God was right. Sasori's eyes didn't leave Deidara even once that night. The red-head had never been in love. He had never asked how it felt, and he had never wanted to know. Now, for the first time when it had happened, it came like a sudden tornado from nowhere.
And even though Sasori didn't want to, the night ended. The restaurant was getting ready to close, and he couldn't believe how it had all happened so fast. If he could, he would've keeped this night ever-lasting. But some things were just impossible.
But that didn't have to mean he wouldn't see Deidara again, right?
True, Sasori and Deidara decided to meet again. This time alone.
This happened many times. It suddenly turned to something usual... And Sasori was glad that his - now close - friend liked to hang out with him as well.
Now, the day that Sasori decided to tell Deidara about his deeper feelings for him, he had been a bit unsure. He had no idea about the other mans sexuality. Sometimes, he seemed a bit homosexual. But maybe that was just Sasori? Then again, it didn't have to keep him from giving it a try, right?
So he did.
The red-haired man one day went to visit Deidara at his home. It was a rather medium sized flat at the end of the city. It took long to drive to Deidara's house from his own, and he took his time to go through what he should say, over and over again. He soon reached the building and went inside.
Here starts a new story. The story about the day when Deidara opened the door for Sasori when he was only wearing boxers. Oh, which gave Sasori's body a little twitch. WHICH made him moan. Just like that. Out of the blue.
Deidara was a bit confused, but soon understood. He wasn't sure, but he was guessing.
Sasori waited for Deidara to get dressed, and they both went to Deidara's big balcony. Just as planned, the blonde had bought a big white surface to draw on. This was something the artists really enjoyed to do together. Draw. Paint. They usually made big paintings and saved them in Sasori's basement.
But this time, the painting was going to be different.
As soon as the two began playing professionally with the colours, Sasori noticed how Deidara was using more dark colors than planned. Wait... He wasn't even drawing what the two had planned.
Confused, Sasori questioned his friend. But Deidara just smiled at him, and continued to paint. So what did Sasori do?
He followed.
The two of them almsot seemed to have connected minds when they were painting.
When the whole big surface was covered in their wonderful art, the both of them backed off, to get a view of what they had done.
They're eyes went wide.
They had drawn a picture of a field, full of birds and stars. A violin was lying in the grass. There was a pond, full of golden fishes in it, swimming around peacefully. The moon was the object that was shining the most in the picture, and you could see a pretty big, but beautiful, forest in the background. Also, there were a few words on a paper, lying right next to the violin, saying: iIf the stars were mine./i
iI love you/i No one said it, but they both felt it.
"You do?" Was all Deidara managed to say, before Sasori pushed his lips onto Deidara's.
From this day on and forward, these two artists got together. Known as a couple. The two of them put the painting up in the hall of their now chared home. Yes, Deidara soon moved in to Sasori's bigger apartment. It was enough room for both of them. They lived on the highest floor, and it was in the middle of the big city they lived in. With time, they began to chare their life-skills too. Before Sasori knew it, Deidara had learned him to be more patient, and much more social. Deidara got to know how to keep his confidence up, and how to not listen to what others thought about his options. The duo grew un-separateable, and had turned to a very adorable couple. Now when they're friends had all heard about the news, they began questioning Sasori why he didn't just ask for Deidara's hand? Why not marry him, when they were so sure that they could keep their relation-ship forever lasting.
The red-head always thought twice about things like that. The imagination of a life married with Deidara soon began to hunt him. He knew that a part of him badly wanted it, but he was so unsure if Deidara would want to. After all, he was younger than him, and was still studying. At this time, Deidara had been 21. Sasori on the other side was 32. He had a job, which Deidara didn't. He had more experience as well, which Deidara didn't. He didn't know if he was ready...
But our red-head finally decided to give it a try.
So one day when his work ended earlier, he managed to go visit the jewelery. He was going to pick out a ring, and go home, ask Deidara if he wanted to go out for a date at a restaurant, and then he would... Ask if he wanted to get married. Yes, he had decided to do this. And after he had picked out a brilliant ring, he decided that there was no reason to hesitate. Not now.
Sasori parked his car, just as usual. He went up the usual stairs. He used the usual keys to unlock the usual door. But when he came in, something wasn't as usual. There was no one who came up to him and greeted him. No one who gave him a sweet kiss or two and made his tired mind feel like maybe the day wouldn't be so bad after all?
No. That day, he found Deidara sitting on the coach, holding a few sheets of paper in his pretty hands. Sasori took off his shoes quickly, and went to see what Deidara was reading with that blank stare on his face. As Sasori entered the living room, he noticed that Deidara seemed to be very depressed. Being his caring boy-friend, he put his arms around the blonde and asked what was wrong. Deidara almost didn't seem to notice Sasori's existance, which worried the red-head a little. He saw how Deidara handed him the sheets, and took them.
The letter first said that Deidara had been keeping very good grades in his school. Sasori was glad to read that. Deidara had choosen to study idesign and architecture/i, which was a really hard subject. It really killed him, and he always put his best into his work. But Sasori's smile soon turned to a frown when he continued reading. The school had choosen to let the twenty best students study at the best architecture school there was. It was a much bigger, complicated and more difficult school than the one in their city. Now, the bad thing was that this awesome place was in a different country. And guess where that country just had to be?
On the other side of earth.
This was a big shock for both of the males. Sasori was positive about the fact that Deidara was doing such a great job, and that he now had the chance to complete his studying with the help of professional advice and knowledge. The letter also said that by studying at this place, you would much more easily find a good job, wherever you wanted. It seemed like a very good path for Deidara's future. But then again... They would have to split up.
The question was if Deidara actually wanted? Sasori thought he should. It would be rather stupid to not go. Normally, you would have to pay a whole lot to go study at this place.
i"Do you want to-?"
"I don't want to leave you, yeah. But it's really a great offer..."
"It sure is a good chance..."
"What do you want, yeah?"
"It doesn't matter what 'I' want-"
"But I'm asking you what you want. Answer."
"... I think you should."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. It would be good for your future."
"Our future."
"Yes..."
"I'll be gone for more than two years, yeah."
"Then I will wait for more than two years."/i
Sasori knew that his whole heart was sure that it didn't want to let Deidara go. But his head said something different. And it really sounded smarter to let his brain decide, for once.
Plans were ruined and Sasori didn't ask Deidara if he wanted to get engaged. Or married. Whatever. He decided to put the thought away, and not distract Deidara in his studies. This was way more important. It was difficult to get a work nowadays, and to throw away an opportunity like this was just pure madness. It took only a few weeks until Deidara was going to leave. The night before he left was a night in silence. Both artist feeled how they were tensed to no end. Sadness, and fear ran trough their veins. They decided to put an end to their misery, and before they knew it, they had rolled up together and made love. Many emotions blended up, and they both ended up crying. Deidara started, and spread it over to Sasori.
i"Don't cry, Deidara."
"I don't want to leave, Danna, I love you so much! I don't want to go!"
"Idiotic brat! It's for your own best. Now please, I'm begging you, stop crying!"
"I can't, danna, I love you! Please, don't let me go!"
"Don't say that you b-bastard! Stop crying! Deidara, I can't stand listening to you cry." /i
But the sobs just continued to come.
i"Please, Dei-chan, please..."/i
It didn't stop.
i"Stop it..."/i
Not for a long time.
i"I d-don't want to hear you getting hurt like this..."/i
So Sasori thought he might as well join.
The morning came, and the two didn't feel as tensed today. It was time to accept what was happening, and stop being so childish.
They reached the airport and checked in the bags. Now the only thing that was left to do was say goodbye and part up.
It sounded simple, didn't it?
Pah. Far from simple.
i"Deidara, you really have to go now!"/i
The flight that Deidara had to take was going in twenty minutes, and he still wasn't in the line that he should be standing in. But Deidara couldn't help it. He was holding Sasori in a firm and tight embrace, and the thought of letting him go didn't reach his mind. What to do? Well, he could only calm him down. Sasori kissed his lover caringly, and told him that they would definitely meet soon. And besides, they could always text over the mobile. Now, the rules in this school was: No mobiles. But whenever they got a break, they would be able to use them again. And according to the damn letter, Deidara would get four breaks. And he was going to be there two years. Each break was one week. Wonderful, right?
Even if it seemed impossible, the pair separated, and took farewell. Now they both knew they would have to stay without the others company in two whole years.
And the first thing Sasori thought when he came home was:
What now?
Well what could happen? Not much. Life returned to its usual circle. His friends sometimes came to visit, he sometimes visited them. Work. Sasori worked at a big company that wrote magazines and different kinds of commercial. He was vice chef, and earned quite much money. It all went on smoothly. Like it used to do, before he met Deidara. Oh, but this time, he got damaged by the loneliness each time he came home. He felt lost without his love. Everything was so silent and still. So boring. He wanted him so badly. He missed him, and would do anything to meet him again.
i"I shouldn't have let him go."/i
And this takes us to the scene that we just left. What was it about? Ah, yes, Sasori was lying on the madrass, going through his whole life with Deidara. Pah, he probably put more of his time thinking about Deidara, than Deidara thought about him. Seriously, Sasori really needed to forget this! Was he really that impatient! It wasn't time to get upset and cry right now!
So Sasori just sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He might as well let himself fall asleep. And wait... He would keep on waiting, no matter what. It didn't really matter if Deidara would decide to stay away from him forever. He would still be waiting for him. That was just what he had done till today, right?
...
Why was he doubting about Deidara coming back?
"I really must be going on drugs..."
Well, only if Deidara was one.
And with those thoughts, our red-head fell alseep. Even if he, each night, knew he would wake up and get hurt by the feeling to have no one sleeping next to him.
i
I won't wake up To the sound of your feet
Walking down the hall
Like a soft heartbeat
I won't wake up
Cause by the time that
I do you'll be gone
I won't look back
On a past so long
I won't look back
On the things gone wrong
I won't look back
Cause by the time that
I do you'll be gone
I won't have words
I've said all that there is to say
I won't have words
Cause I know you'll just throw them away
I won't have words
Cause by the time that
I do you'll be gone
By the time that
I do you'll be gone
By the time that
I do you'll be gone
/i
But Sasori did really not get a long time to sleep. One hour later, he woke up because of a sound, coming from his pocket. The red-head yawned and sat up, hoping that the message wouldn't be too annoying or, in any way, bother him. He took up his mobile from the pocket in his pants, and checked it. One message. Wow.
Boredly, he opened the message and...
Nothing happened. It was just loading non-stop. Why? Was it a long message? But that couldn't be it... Oh damn, how annoying! He hated things that had to load! And it didn't help that he was on a very bad mood!
So with some rage, Sasori put away his phone and lied down again. Damn people for ruining his sleep. At least he could get a rest from his thoughts when he was asleep! He was so damn angry right now! He wanted to calm down so badly, but it didn't work! Deidara was supposed to leave for two years, not five! This was unforgiveable! What if something had happened?
What if something had happened to his lovely Deidara? No way... No way! He wasn't allowed to imagine things like that... Seriously, Deidara could take care of himself. Or could he? Of course he could... What was he thinking?
And there was no way that ANYONE could make such a beautiful face go sad. Such a lovely, happy voice turn dull. Such an adoring smile turn into a frown... No one could do that. No, there was no way. Sasori was assured. He was too wonderful... But then again, Sasori had made him cry. He had made his voice go all sad, and his smile had dissappeared. Or it wasn't really his fault. It was that god damned letter's fault. And that god damned school's fault.
Suddenly, Sasori and Deidara's cat jumped up on the bed that Sasori was currently lying on. Sasori stared at the cat as it walked around in a neat circle for a while, until it sneaked up right next to Sasori, and lyed down. Sighing, Sasori put one of his hands on the white cats back, and began stroking it. "Why did I let him go, Puffer?"
Said cat just purred, snuggling closer to its owner, liking the feeling of getting attention from him. "Do you miss him too? I'm sure you do," A smile appeared on the red-heads lips, for the first time in long "Remember how he used to give you more food than I allowed? You really went fat because of him... You're thinner now though. You sure want him to come back, don't you?" Sasori smirked as the cat let out a happy 'mew'. "I think we all want him to come back... I wonder where exactly he is right now... I miss him... So much..." A rather unwelcome feeling appeared in the crook of Sasori's neck, and he suddenly felt like he wanted to cry. Again. God damn it! No way, he was not going to cry! That would be so pathethic! "Does he even love me? DOES HE STILL LOVE ME!"
...
How could something be more pathethic than talking to a cat?
He was so sick and tired of this.
"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" How could one person make another feel like ithis/i!
In the middle of all this frustration, Sasori decided to get up from the bed to go do something that would keep him distracted. But unfortunately, he put his hand, and weight, on the poor cats tail. And Puffer in turn, managed to get his claws out and put them in Sasori's arm. The poor red-head groaned and pulled the cat away, and somehow fell off the bed. It all happened so fast, and Sasori couldn't really register it all. His head collided witht he night stand table, and Puffer jumped down on his legs. And just at that moment, Sasori's mobile started to call. And it seemed like someone, who most likely was 'Hidan', had changed the ringtone to the happy song. How fitting.
Anyways, this really made Sasori's mind go 'error', and he just stood up in a flash, holding his head while Puffer jumped down from him. WHAT DID PEOPLE WANT IN THIS TIME OF THE DAY! The time when everything turned to complete chaos!
Unwillingly, Sasori picked up his mobile again and checked the missed calls. It began to load again, but Sasori decided to wait. He really wanted to scold this fucker right now and he would do it.
Sick bastards, sending stupid messages and calling at wrong time-
Deidara.
Deidara?
iDeidara./i
The mind of Sasori suddenly began racing, his heart beating madly. N-no way... No way! That was impossible! He must be dreaming! Or seeing illusions! There was no way Deidara would call him at this time! It must be a joke or something...
Sasori hurried to clear his head up. Okay. Let's see. Deidara.
...
Sasori suddenly found himself smiling. Deidara!
He had called! Oh my god! It was probably Deidara who had sent him a message before too! Jeez! He had to check! What was he waiting for?
The bed sounded slightly as Sasori sat down, checking his inbox again. This time, he waited patiently for the message to load. But it was just a message from Pain...
Cursing, he shut his eyes. He must be seeing illusions... Why now, of all times? ...Well, he had hit his head after all, but... Meh.
It was too good to be true anyways... To hear his voice after five years. Or even text with him. Why was his mind doing this to himself?
...
Oh, damn it. He would check again.
And so he did. And guess what? He noticed that the message from Pain was one day old... Which could only mean one thing.
"Did I open the wrong message!"
At this, Sasori's whole heart was filled up with hope again. But that meant...
In a fast speed, Sasori checked his inbox again. The latest message was from iDeidara/i. And no one else.
"Holy shit..."
This was happening too fast for Sasori to be able to understand, but he didn't hesitate, and instead, opened the fresh message. And as he read it trough, his eyes widened. His heart almost blew up, and his whole face found a surprised emotion on it.
iIf you come to the train station, you might meet someone who 'still' loves you./i
By now, Sasori's whole face had a shade of red on it. Of course he still loved him... Sasori still loved Deidara. Why wouldn't Deidara do the same! Oh, how idotic of him! And now he wanted him to go meet someone at the train station! Someone who loved him!
Wait.
Okay, it seemed like Sasori's mind really had stopped working. Actually, I'm not telling you what's ireally/i going on in there. But if you want to know, I can tell you:
/i
Everything was just panicking! Telling him that he should slow down! Just stop it all. Paus the world for a moment. That it was all to much at once! He should calm down, or his whole heart would just go boom boom pow.
And I somehow feel sorry for Sasori. He really couldn't handle all of this.
Before he knew it, Sasori had fell down on the bed again. This time, because of iseizure/i. The emotions were to many for Sasori to handle. Aaand he had hit his head really greatly back then. Or maybe this just shows us how much he loves his blonde?
iHow am I feeling right now? Does it matter? It doesn't really matter, does it? Why? Because I have no one to show my feelings to? Is that why I passed out? Shouldn't I go meet the person that I should show my feeling to, then? Yes, I should. Why am I not doing that, then? Oh, right, I had a little seizure... But why am I not getting up? If I do that, I will meet my love. After five years! WHY AM I NOT GETTING UP! This is stupid. Now when I've cleared everything up, I should be able to get up, right? What's missing? Hmm... Nope, there shouldn't be anything more to discuss with myself. Let's get up. One, two, three-/i
The brown eyes went open, and Sasori found himsef staring up at the ceiling. Puffer was lying on his stomach, sounding a bit worried. But this time, Sasori didn't mix it all together. Instead of going crazy over the fact that- DEIDARA WAS BACK!
Ahum...
-He keeped a calm and steady feeling. His lipsed curved up to a smile, and he sat up, holding Puffer up in front of his face, putting them nose-to-nose. "Dei-chan is back, Puffer!" The cat just purred, a bit confused. Sasori just chuckled at this, and hugged his white cat in a warm embrace. "My sweet little Deidara is back! He came back! It's the end of hell!" Happily, Sasori stood up. There was no time to waste! He would go pick Deidara up, right away. He wouldn't waste a minute more! The tickling feeling in his stomach was killing him to death! And looking at the time, he should really hurry-
Oh shit. It was 23:24! Almost midnight! What the- Sasori had gotten the message at 19:30 or something! How was this possible?
Wait... Oh, fuck! He had passed out! And he had slept...
Damn, damn, damn, damn!
The red-head wasted no time in putting his coat and scarf on, then taking his mobile and keys, getting the hell out of the room.
What had he done! He had fucked everything up so badly!
Sasori grabbed the keys to the car and unlocked the doors to it with a click, hurrying to get in. This was really bad. It was cold as hell outside, and Deidara could definitely not go all the way to his home from the train station. It was late, and anything could happen...
Quickly, Sasori started the car. With only one thing on his mind, he began driving towards the direction of the station. He just hoped that was where Deidara currently was...
About twentyfive minutes later, Sasori arrived at the decided destination. He parked the car and got out of it, running quickly towards the place where the trains came and left. He was panting because of all the running, as he arrived. But.
There was not a soul there.
Sasori's heart got crushed by the feeling. So much hope had suddenly vanished. And what was left, was not positive.
"N-no way..."
A chilly wind blew over the station. The train rails almost seemed to shiver, and the seats, made for people to sit on while they waited for their trains, seemed to jump up and just run away from the air that hit them. Sasori just stood there, his scarf dancing around a little with the wind. A woman's voice could be heard from the speakers: 'Train number fiftynine will be leaving from rail number two in one hour. All passagers, please-'.
But Sasori didn't care to listen to anything anymore. He just stood there, looking straight forward. Deidara... Had he left? Maybe he got mad? Or maybe something... Happened?
What could he do about it?
...
Maybe it was all just a joke?
Maybe someone had tricked him?
Maybe his life sucked?
Maybe he should give up?
On life?
If he was that weak...
But he didn't want to wait anymore.
Just like he had waited for his parents.
But they never came back, did they?
Why would Deidara come back then?
Why did he have to get punished twice?
It didn't feel good. Not good at all.
Sasori put a hand on his head, groaning. He could feel how a headache was sneaking up in his head... Damn, just what he needed.
iI love you, yeah./i
The words weren't forgotten yet, Sasori thought to himself. He could hear Deidara whispering those lovely words to him, really meaning it.
Sweet, sweet memories...
"Oh, Deidara... I miss you so much..." A sigh escaped Sasori's lips as he looked up at the big black paper, called sky. The stars were still shining peacefully, like pretty little diamonds, loved by everyone.
iStars...i
Allowing himself to drown in his thoughts, Sasori began walking forward. Tired of everything, he sat down on one of the seats by the trains. "Stars are... Eternal?"
But they weren't. Stars also disappeared. They were alive for a very long time, yes. And while they were alive, they could give off such a strong light... But even though that, they vanished.
Could Deidara be the same?
Stars...
If you asked Sasori, the stars were too un-loved by humans. They didn't know how much the stars actually meant.
For example... When people were going to buy gifts they usually bought things that could be worn for... Personal adornments. Like bracelets, necklades, brooches or rings. Or the like. Anyways, what people never thought of was that the best jewel couldn't be bought. The best jewels... The stars. The stars were much more worth than jewels. They were much prettier. They were so much shinier...
And yet, people are not allowed to touch them. But that was good. Humans are too dirty anyways. Not all of them know how to handle things like...
Stars.
Shaking his head, Sasori cleared up his thoughts a little. Why was he thinking about stars?
Maybe becuase... Stars were beautiful... Like Deidara.
OH GOD DAMN IT-
i"Danna..."/i
Sasori's thoughts stopped for a while. W-what was that? All of a sudden...?
...
After a few still moments, the red-head chuckled. It had felt just like... He had heard Deidara at that moment. It was like his beautiful voice had sneaked up right behind him. Like a ghost or something. But much more magical.
Hah. By now, he was assured that he had reached the line where insanity started.
'Cause he decided to answer the voice he could hear.
"Yes, Dei?"
i"I... miss you."/i
"Well, you're not alone. I miss you very much too."
i"Then why... Why didn't you come?"/i
"Oh, Dei, I came! But I was... too late... I'm so sorry..."
Sasori's gaze never left the sky as he talked to - what he thought was - no one.
i"But Danna... Sasori... I kept on waiting, yeah..."/i
"No you didn't, Dei. Of course you didn't. Why would you?"
i"I love you..."/i
Something wet rolled down Sasori's cheek. Said man put a hand on said place, and felt how his fingers went wet by the tears he was crying. Damn it...
This was enough!
Deidara had made him cry, he had made him throw things, brake thing, say things he didn't mean, yell at people, cry in front of people, paint things that had no meaning, lock himself in a room and abandon the world, TALK TO HIMSELF AND-
"Danna..."
In a mere flash, Sasori's eyes had widened. He sharpened his ears, listening closely. He could hear something... Not the wind. Not the sound of cars, far away. Not the sound of voices, far away. Not the sound of Deidara's voice, near. But, the sound of light snoring. Near. To be more specific...
On the seat behind him.
Did he dare to turn aroud to see... Who it was?
Of course he did.
"Hn?" A little sound came from Sasori as he turned on his head, trying his best to see who was sitting behind him, snoring sweetly.
And the first thing that Sasori's eyes met with was golden, blonde hair.
I guess you're all smiling by now, aren't you?
Well, Sasori was.
That hair color...
"Danna... Yeah... Why didn't you... Nhnn..."
The beats of Sasori's heart began increasing. It began beating faster and faster, almost over-boiling with happiness. Was he ireally/i seeing what he was seeing? He was? Well, even if he was, he couldn't believe it. It was all so close to... A good dream. No. It iwas/i a good dream. The best dream he would ever have.
Was it... really him?
After all these years.
...
He had grown.
There was no way to get rid of the smile on Sasori's lips as he turned around completely with his whole body, kneeling on the seat to be able to see if it really was the blonde that he loved.
It sure was...
What a good dream this was...
"Deidara..."
The blonde man had his pretty eyes closed. His head tilted to the side, resting to the back of the seat. With a slightly open mouth, he was snoring quietly, almost silently, for himself. He had his big bag in front of his feet, and it seemed like it was stuffed with things. Oh, everything looked so realistic. Even his love was just as beautiful as in reality...
"Sasori... Stop... Wasting my time..."
Now, who's time was Sasori wasting? Deidara's time or his own?
The red-head tilted his head down to get a bit closer to his love. Slowly, he brushed his cheek to Deidara's, as if checking if he could feel him or not. He could, and the soft skin was so cold. Poor thing, he must've waited out here for so long.
"Dei-chan... My sweet little Deidei... I'm here now... Right by your side..."
"Danna..."
"I know you've been trough lots of pain... But it's over now, Dei. I'm here with you again..."
"Hnn..."
Sasori's eyes began tearing up again, by just being able to touch Deidara again.
What was he doing? This wasn't a dream... Why was he trying to tell himself such a thing? He knew it wasn't! So why was he trying to convince himself...? Deidara was right there in front of him. Why didn't he wake him up?
Why was he such an idiot?
"Deidara..." The red-head put a kiss on his love's head, closing his eyes to prevent the embarassing tears to run. "Wake up... I thought you wanted me to pick you up?"
"Hm..."
"Come on... Let's go. Let's continue where we left... Or start a new life... A life that we... both want?"
Sasori wasn't really surprised that Deidara wasn't waking up. He must be really tired after all. But... What would you choose if you were Sasori at that moment. A: Let Deidara continue his sleep, to let him wake up in the middle of lots of people at a train station. Or B: Wake Deidara up and... Well, he didn't really know what would happen after that. Let's find out.
"Deidara."
"Mrmm..."
"iDeidara./i"
A little movement was made, but nothing else. For gods sake... WHY DID HE HAVE TO WAIT MORE THAN HE HAD ALREADY DONE?
"Deidara!"
"AAAH!"
The blonde man's heart almost turned inside out at the sudden yell, and he jumped up from his sleep, panting quickly. "W-what did I miss? What did I miss, yeah?"
This cute reaction made Sasori chuckle. He had almost forgot how that wonderful creature could be so adoring sometimes. And Deidara in turn, heard Sasori's chuckle. His heart almost began spinning around as he tried to register what was happening.
It had sounded just like him...! But... There was no way!
"Danna-?"
The moment Deidara turned around, Sasori had stopped laughing, and had attacked Deidara with a warm hug. "Don't say a word!" The blonde was very confused at first, but his surprised eyes soon softened, and closed again. It was his turn to start crying. But unlike Sasori, Deidara was very bad at holding back. The tears just came, and Sasori's black coat went wet becuase of Deidara's tears. But that was definitely not the thing that was on Sasori's mind at the moment. Right now... Only one thing mattered.
His Deidara was home again.
"Don't cry, Deidara-"
"Oh, Danna, I missed you so much, un!" The blonde sobbed, not caring to listen to Sasori at all. "It was so horrible, each day, without you, it was ihell/i! You have no idea how much I m-missed you, Sasori-no-danna!"
"Shh," Sasori hushed, "I didn't have such a good time myself..."
"I..."
At that moment, Deidara observed that Sasori should let go of him so that he would be able to get up, go stand right in front of Sasori, and just watch his wonderful face again. For the first time in five years. He hadn't seen it yet.
But Sasori was unaware of these thoughts, and was very confused when he felt how Deidara pushed his arms away. He quickly got up, picked up his bag and walked up to stand right in front of Sasori's seat. "Danna..." Sasori turned around to face Deidara, and was met with a pair of crying, grey and beautiful eyes. Blonde hair put up in the usual high ponytail, and crimson cheeks, very noticeable. Sasori stood up in a flash, and felt how Deidara almost threw himself into his arms, crying out all of his emotions.
Sasori shut his eyes, letting everything fleet in. It was a lot to take in. And everything came at once. But Sasori more than welcomed it. But unlike Deidara, Sasori couldn't cry everything out... He didn't know what to do. But he didn't care. He couldn't even feel anything.
There was only one thing he could feel right now.
Happiness. That Deidara was back, in one piece.
"Oh, Dei, I love you..."
"I-I love y-you t-oo!"
"I love you-"
"I love you so much!"
Sasori chuckled.
Even at this moment, he was just as stubborn as always. His stubborn, pretty, hyperactive, happy, PMS-ing Deidara! Oh, HOW HE HAD MISSED HIM! And now he was here! Sheesh! He couldn't really get it in!
"Welcome home, Deidara."
The sentence was returned with higher sobs, and yet another tight sqeeze from the blonde. Sasori rolled his eyes, still smiling, as he wondered if he had ever felt this... Relieved, before.
"Thank you, Danna, hmm..."
And so they stayed for another five minutes, just holding each other close. But that was all they needed, right? Each other. Everything they had ever dreamed about. The luckiness for them was to be close.
Really. Really, ireally/i close.
"Deidara..."
Said blonde looked up at the one who had called him and felt how his whole world turned upside down by seeing that beautiful calm face of Sasori's. He had almost forgotten the feeling of looking at him. How it felt. So wonderful. "Yes, Danna?"
"Let's go home."
Finally. Home. A place to call home...
Deidara smiled.
"Yes."
So they did.
The two of them were silent as they sat down in the modern car. The only sound that could be heard was the key turning, and the motor starting. And when things are this silent, the atmosphere is often tensed and awkward. But in this scene, the silence was there because they wanted it to be. They wanted it to be silent, so that they could listen to the feeling of being close again. The silence was there so that they would be able to feel each others presence again. Feel their love for each other.
Not even for a second did the blonde's eyes leave the red-heads face. Obviously, Sasori had noticed. But he had nothing to say about it. He would've done the same if he wouldn't have been driving.
Eventually, Sasori couldn't keep a chuckle from escaping his mouth. It was lovely to have Deidara gawking at him with hearts in his eyes, but mixed up with the silence, it just drove him crazy. He had wanted to talk with him for so long! And now when he had the chance, he couldn't. And since Deidara didn't say anything, it was maybe meant to be quiet? He didn't know. And that was what frustrated him. Finally when they reached red light, he turned his face to throw a smile at his Uke. "Aren't you going to look around at the city as we're driving?" Of course Sasori didn't want Deidara to look away from him. But he found nothing better to say. "I mean, you haven't been here for long..."
To his surprise, Sasori found Deidara's hand stroking his knee. And his beautiful, tired eyes, looking straight into his own brown ones. "But I love you much more than this city. In fact, this city wouldn't even dare to compare itself to you, yeah." iOh, that sweet little habit.../i "So I prefer gawking at you, Danna..."
At these sweet words, Sasori smiled. It felt so good to hear his voice again. Right next to himself.
He knew they were in traffic. He knew that the light could turn green any second. He knew that he had to keep his concentration in driving.
But he couldn't resist him anymore. Five years. That was the end of Sasori's longest road. After that, he had to feel Deidara again. iFeel/i him.
So in what felt less than a second, Sasori had began kissing his blonde passionately. And just as he began doing that, they both remembered something else that they had missed from their relationship.
Sex.
Sex, intimate contact, different kinds of displays of affection. Just ishowing/i how much they felt dragged towards each other.
Deidara suddenly felt like some sort of hunger took over his body. He had almost forgotten how Sasori could be so... Spontaneous? Like their first kiss. He just kissed him. Just like that. No 'leaning in slowly' or 'feeling the atmosphere thicken'. He just did it. And Deidara didn't really mind that...
Automatically, he wrapped his arms around his Danna's neck, pushing him closer. Sasori didn't even shoot a look to his side to see if the light had turned green or not. He just dove his tongue right into Deidara's mouth, tasting him hungrily. It tasted fresch as always, and this just made Sasori's mouth water more. The sensual feeling between them began raising quickly, as they held each other tighter. Desperatly touching the other persons body all over. Even though Sasori's coat was like a wall to Deidara. And Deidara's dark blue jacket was like a stupid closed window to Sasori. They couldn't help it. They touched each other everywhere anyways. Craving for more and more.
Just as they were about to take the next step, a wave of car beeps were heard from behind their car. Blushing, Sasori unwillingly let go of his love, sitting straight in his seat while letting the drive continue. Stupid cars... Did they have to be behind them at that moment?
Deidara just blinked a few times, his face a great shade of red and slight pink. Damn, he had wanted to continue that. Suddenly, he felt how a smirk began playing on his lips. "I see you're still as horny as always, yeah."
Pah. Like Deidara was the one to say anything. "Well it's your fault for being as sexy as always." A perfect comeback, Sasori thought. Which it was. With a snort, Deidara answered. And that was all, before the silence fell back to its last place.
Not for long though, this time. Since Sasori felt a bit too ashamed to say anything, so Deidara was the one who started talking.
"Aren't you going to ask me.. how it was, yeah? Studying and stuff?"
It didn't take long time to get a straight, simple and true answer.
"Not now. Right now, I just want you here. Not there. I don't want to remember the fact that you've been gone."
"Was it lonely without me?" The blonde asked, knowing the answer, yet wanting to hear it.
"You must be joking, Deidara. If I would've been a normal person who didn't hide half of his feelings half of the time, I would have gone crazy twentyfive hours a day. Although since I'm a half weird person who only shows half of his weird feelings half part of the time he lives, I only went crazy twentysix hours a day."
That set Deidara off laughing. Which made Sasori smile. The two of them had a moment of great joy, before the blonde's laughing disappeared completely. It was replaced with tears and sadness. Or maybe it was tears of happiness? Or relief? Sasori couldn't tell. But Deidara knew it was both. "Tch, stop crying for gods sake, Deidara." Sasori kept half of his focus on the traffic as he used one hand to brush Deidara lightly on the cheek. Deidara almost shivered at the touch. "I don't want to see you crying... It reminds me of-" Remembering his own words, Sasori stopped his sentence. He would forget the fact that Deidara had left him. And that meant he would also forget the night before he had left. The night they had spent in pure extasy and tears. Both of them.
Getting that he was actually crying uneededly too much, Deidara tried to stop the tears the best he could. He let the tears run down, without making any sobbing or other sounds. And on his lips, there was a beautiful smile. "Just for you, I will."
Thank god.
Now. Now everything was just...
iPerfect./i