Title: Because I Could Not Stop for Death (He Kindly Stopped for Me)
Author: moonfairyhime
Rating: T, for minor swearing and sensitive topics
Characters: Kirk, Death, Albert, Bones
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any characters from Terry Pratchett's Discworld series (which, in this case, includes Death and Albert).
Warnings: Kirk!angst, mentions of Tarsus and child abuse
Summary: Jim Kirk and Death have met many times; sometimes because Jim was dying and sometimes because Death felt like saying hello. A prequel of sorts to "Ask Not from Whom the Bell Tolls".
Author's Notes: Albert is Death's servant from the Discworld series. The watchman that Death tells a story about is Sam Vimes, also from the Discworld series. Though this is technically a crossover, anyone should feel free to read. Title from Emily Dickinson's poem of the same name. Thanks to dragongirl16 for the awesome beta!
First Meeting: In Space, hours old
Death looked at the squalling infant held in his mother's arms. Winona Kirk was sobbing over the loss of her husband (now, Death reflected, there was a polite man if he had ever met one. It was always nice to meet a soul who accepted that it was his time and did not fight Death). She seemed not to notice as her newborn child stopped crying nor did she notice when his breathing began to slow. The newborn, however, noticed Death and gave him his full attention. HELLO, JAMES.
James merely stared back, defiantly glaring at the specter that only he could see. Although Death would admit this to no one, the stare was a little disconcerting.
I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HERE FOR YOU, YET NOW THAT I AM HERE, I SEE THAT YOU ARE NOT READY TO GO. Death double checked James's hour glass. THIS WAS ALMOST EMPTY A FEW SECOND AGO, BUT NOW IT IS FILLED.
If a baby less than a day old could smirk, James would be doing so. Winona realized that her son was barely breathing and shouted for the doctor. However, by the time the nurse and doctor made it into the room, James's breathing had already returned to normal.
YOURS IS GOING TO BE AN INTERESTING PATH, JAMES. I HAVE A FEELING WE WILL BE MEETING MANY TIMES IN THE FUTURE. Death ran a skeletal finger down James's face. ALTHOUGH YOU MAY NOT FEEL THE SAME, I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR NEXT MEETING.
Fifth Meeting: Riverside, Iowa, age 7
In the moonlight, James looked almost as ethereal as Death. However, the moonlight also made the bruises that littered the seven year old child's small body appear all the more ghastly. Death silently made a promise to himself that when his time came, James's stepfather was going to suffer as much as possible. JAMES, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU?
Jim looked at Death. "Made Frank mad, I guess. I dunno."
I SEE. Death said, although his tone clearly said that he did not.
"Death, am I going to die today?" Were Death and James any two other beings in the universe, the question would have been laughed off with a reassuring "Of course not. Not for a very long time." However, since the child was James and Death was Death, he answered the question honestly.
NO, JAMES, YOU ARE NOT.
"Okay… Just asking 'cause I usually only see you when I'm about to die. And I'm really okay and don't feel like dying or anything."
NO, JAMES, YOU ARE NOT OKAY, BUT THAT IS AN ISSUE FOR ANOTHER DAY. I HAD A COUPLE OF MINUTES AND I WANTED TO SEE YOU.
"Oh." Jim's tone clearly conveyed that no one ever wanted to see him.
I ALSO WANTED YOU TO MEET SOMEONE. A white horse appeared next to Death and Jim grinned in delight. BINKY, THIS IS JAMES. JAMES, THIS IS BINKY.
Jim let Binky smell his hair before he began to gently stroke the horse. "Binky? Really, Death?"
HE LIKES THE NAME. Death insisted. Binky whinnied, agreeing with Death. Death glanced at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was almost ten o'clock. NOW, JAMES, I DO BELIEVE IT IS PAST YOUR BEDTIME.
"Death?"
YES, JAMES?
"…Never mind, it's dumb." Jim stared at the floor.
JAMES, ASK YOUR QUESTION. I HAVE BEEN ASKED MANY QUESTIONS IN MY TIME, AND IT DOES NOT BOTHER ME TO ANSWER ANOTHER ONE.
"Death, can't I come with you?" Jim asked, before he quickly buried his face into Binky's neck. "Go with you to wherever you live when you aren't reaping?"
NO, JAMES, YOU CANNOT. I TRIED TO TAKE SOMEONE WITH ME ONCE AND IT DID NOT END WELL. IN FACT, IT ALMOST ENDED EVERYTHING. SO I DO APOLOGIZE, JAMES, BUT YOU NEED TO STAY HERE. NOW, THEN, I BELIEVE IT IS TIME FOR ALL GOOD CHILDREN TO BE IN BED.
Jim finally let go of Binky and crawled into his bed. "You're supposed to read me a story."
I AM?
Jim shrugged. "That's what everyone else's parents do when their kids go to bed. And that's what my books say."
WELL, WHO AM I TO ARGUE WITH LITERATURE? GET COMFORTABLE, JAMES, AND I WILL TELL YOU THE STORY OF A WATCHMAN NAMED SAM.
Jim snuggled himself into his bed and stared at Death expectantly. Death began his story about a street smart watchman who cheated death almost as many times as Jim did and the boy soon fell asleep. Death pulled the blankets up so that they fully covered the small child. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAMES.
Before Death and Binky vanished, he left a stuffed white horse by James's head.
Fifteenth Meeting: Tarsus IV, age 13
"I know you're not here for me," Jim rasped. Jim's vivid blue eyes, though dulled by all that he had seen and done in the last few months, still unnerved Death slightly.
Death looked at the thirteen year old boy who was resting the hospital bed. His eyes hardened as he took in the malnourished body. YOU WOULD BE CORRECT. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE FOR YOU, BUT ONCE AGAIN, YOU HAVE DEFIED THE LAWS THAT OTHERS MUST FOLLOW.
"That's me, defying the rules since the day I was born." Jim attempted to smirk, but the expression ended up being more of a grimace.
THIS IS TRUE. I MET YOU THE DAY THAT YOU WERE BORN AND YOU WERE ALREADY DEFYING RULES.
"You've told me this story before," Jim said.
I KNOW. BUT I BELIEVE IT IS MY DUTY TO TELL THE STORY AS MANY TIMES AS I WANT TO. IT IS MY RIGHT AS ONE OF YOUR PARENTAL FIGURES.
Jim appeared confused by this declaration. If Death had a heart, it would be breaking at the lost look on the boy's face. "You see yourself as a parental figure? To me?"
OF COURSE I DO. IN MY LINE OF WORK, I DO NOT GET TO SEE MANY PEOPLE MORE THAN ONCE. I HAVE SEEN YOU BEFORE AND I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN, JAMES. THIS MAKES YOU SPECIAL TO ME.
Jim stared at his hands for a minute. He then looked at Death and asked, so quietly that if Death were anyone else, he probably would not have heard the question. "Death? Did the others… Are…"
I MET EACH ONE OF THEM PERSONALLY, JAMES, AND ESCORTED THEM TO WHERE THEY NEEDED TO BE. HAVE NO FEAR, THEY ARE AT PEACE.
"Thank you."
THERE IS NO NEED TO THANK ME. I WAS JUST PERFORMING MY DUTY. Death looked around the room once. ONCE YOU ARE STRONGER, THERE IS SOMEWHERE I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE YOU. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WOULD LIKE TO MEET YOU.
Jim nodded his assent. "Okay. Anywhere's better than here."
BEFORE I FORGOT, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.
Death handed Jim an envelope. Bemused, Jim opened it, and was shocked to find a paper card in it, like those he had heard were given out in the 21st century. On the front of the card, a kitten lay curled up on a bed, with an ice pack and an old fashioned thermometer. Jim opened the card to see the phrase "Get Well Soon" written in slightly sloppy cursive. There were two signatures (well, if Jim were to be honest, there was one signature (someone named Albert, who must have been the one to write the well wishes) and a line that he assumed was Death's signature) and a hoof print. Jim smiled softly, more touched by this gesture then he would ever admit.
WELL, JAMES, I MUST GO NOW. I WILL, HOWEVER, COME BACK TO VISIT SOON. PLEASE DO ENDEAVOR TO GET BETTER – IT REALLY IS NOT YOUR TIME TO DIE.
Interlude
JAMES IS COMING SOON, ALBERT.
Albert nodded, putting the finishing touches on the meal he cooked. "I know, Master. I hope the lad likes macaroni and cheese."
I CAN ASSURE YOU, ALBERT, ANYTHING HOME COOKED WILL BE WELL-RECEIVED BY JAMES. HE HAS NOT HAD MANY MEALS LATELY.
"That's a shame, it is. I can get behind a lot of the advances in mankind, but I'll never understand the use of replicators when you can cook a meal that actually has some taste. Anything that comes out of a replicator tends to taste like cardboard."
I'LL HAVE TO TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT, ALBERT.
"Thank you, Master. How old is the lad, again?"
HE IS THIRTEEN. HE HAS JUST SURVIVED A FAMINE AND I BELIEVE HE COULD USE… SOME FAMILIAL SUPPORT.
"Of course, Master. Be glad to help the lad out." Albert surveyed his hard work. "Master, may I ask you a question?"
OF COURSE.
"James has asked to stay with you before, right? So why are you bringing him here now?"
I HAD HOPED THAT, BY LEAVING JAMES WITH HIS FAMILY, THEY WOULD CHANGE THEIR WAYS AND LEARN TO LOVE HIM. I SEE NOW THAT I WAS WRONG. JAMES NEEDS SUPPORT NOW AND IF HIS FAMILY WILL NOT BE THERE FOR HIM, THEN I WILL BE.
"Begging your pardon, Master, but I believe you mean we will be there for the lad." Albert said, nodding. Binky whinnied his agreement from his spot by the door.
If Death could smile at the duo, he would have. FORGIVE ME. AND, OF COURSE, JAMES IS NOT STAYING HERE. HE IS JUST COMING FOR A MEAL.
"Of course, Master." Albert glanced at the clock on the wall. "You best go and get the lad."
OF COURSE. WE WILL BE BACK IN A JIFFY. With that, Death and Binky disappeared.
"Well, it's taken the master two thousand years to master that colloquialism. Pity no one uses it anymore." Albert mused to himself.
Thirty-fifth Meeting: Riverside, Iowa, age 21
"Oh shit."
INDEED, JAMES. WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT GETTING INTO BAR FIGHTS? AT LEAST NOW YOU ARE LEGALLY ALLOWED TO BE DRINKING ALCOHOL.
Jim narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists before he abruptly sighed. "I'm sorry, Death."
DO NO APOLOGIZE TO ME, JAMES. INSTEAD, I BELIEVE THAT YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO THE LIFE THAT YOU ARE WASTING.
"Albert got you a new philosophy book, didn't he?"
YES, I FIND IT FASCINATING. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO GET ME OFF TRACK –
"Nice use of the idiom."
THANK YOU. BUT AS I WAS SAYING, JAMES… I ASK THAT YOU STOP ACTING AS YOU HAVE BEEN. YOU KNOW YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.
Jim scoffed at that remark. Death stared at Jim and the human got the distinct impression that Death was narrowing his eyes at Jim, even if the skeleton didn't have eyes.
I MUST NOW RETURN YOU TO YOUR BODY AS IT IS NOT YOUR TIME. JAMES, NOT MANY PEOPLE HAVE EVER BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITIES THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN. AS I HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES BEFORE, JAMES KIRK, YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU ALONE SEEM TO BE ABLE TO DISREGARD LAWS THAT EVERYONE ELSE IN THE UNIVERSE MUST FOLLOW. YOU CONSTANTLY RECEIVE MORE TIME ON EARTH. I ASK THAT YOU PLEASE RECONSIDER HOW YOU ARE USING IT.
Coughing and scaring the shit out of the doctor who was about to declare him dead, Jim wondered how many other people were ever given Death's version of the "look at your life choices" speech.
Thirty-ninth meeting: In Space, age 25
"Oh, hell, really?"
HELLO, JAMES. I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT…
"Don't tell me. I save the universe and this is the death that sticks? Not fair."
WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOUT INTERRUPTING ME?
"Sorry."
MHM. AS I WAS SAYING, I REGRET TO INFORM YOU THAT THIS IS NOT YOUR FINAL DEATH. ONCE AGAIN, YOU GET TO CHEAT FATE.
Jim glared at Death. "That was not funny!"
I THOUGHT IT WAS.
"So, I'm not really dead?"
NO, JAMES. I WILL RETURN YOU SHORTLY. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOU HAVE BEEN MAKING MUCH WISER DECISIONS LATELY.
Jim stared resolutely at the ground. "Coming from you, that means a lot."
I AM GLAD YOU THINK SO. NOW –
"Wait!"
JAMES, DO STOP INTERRUPTING ME.
"But all the Vulcans! What happened to them?"
If Death could sigh, he would have. I HAD TO RESORT TO THEM FORMING A QUEUE. THERE WERE TOO MANY SOULS. AT LEAST THEY FORMED A VERY LOGICAL QUEUE. ALBERT, THE DEATH OF RATS, AND I WILL BE HELPING THEM FOR SOME TIME, BUT REST ASSURED, EVERYONE WILL END UP WHERE THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO.
"And Nero?"
Death said nothing, but Jim caught a glimpse of what passed for satisfaction cross Death's face. The only other time Jim could remember a look that darkly pleased passing Death's face was when Jim asked Death about Frank's death.
"There's one woman… Her name is Amanda Grayson… Could you please take special care of her?"
OF COURSE, JAMES. I WILL SEE TO HER MYSELF.
"Thank you. Now, could you please return me to life before Bones starts to freak out?"
BONES? THAT IS AN INTERESTING NAME. I WILL HAVE TO MEET HIM.
Jim shivered at the thought of Bones and Death having a conversation. "Maybe next time."
VERY WELL. I DO HAVE SOULS TO REAP AND I HAVE BEEN AWAY TOO LONG. BE CAREFUL, JAMES.
Jim smiled at Death. "Thank you. For everything."
YOU ARE MOST WELCOME. UNTIL NEXT TIME, JAMES.
"Are you sure there will be a next time?"
THERE WILL BE AT LEAST ONE MORE "NEXT TIME," JAMES. NOW OFF YOU GO. I HAVE THINGS TO DO, AS DO YOU.
"Bye, Death." Jim said as Death disappeared and Jim awakened to Bones yelling at him in the Sick Bay.
"Dammit, Jim. Why didn't you tell me your wounds were that bad?"
Jim grunted in response. "Sorry, Bones."
"Of course you're sorry, you damn fool child. Next time, Jim, tell me when things get this bad."
Jim closed his eyes as he let Bones work, for once at peace with both himself and the world around him. As he drifted off to sleep, Jim could have sworn he felt a skeletal hand pat him on the forehead and whisper YOU HAVE FINALLY LEARNED TO STOP WASTING TIME. I AM PROUD OF YOU, JAMES.