Disclaimer: When people stop contradicting themselves.

Okay, I am SO SICK of people who write SasukexSakura fics where Sakura goes emo and becomes the world's next serial killer... What the fuck? I mean, am I the ONLY one who realizes how incredibly STUPID that is? So, out of pure annoyance, I wrote this list of reasons why Sakura cannot become some emo killer...

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1) Her name is Sakura. As in, the cherry blossom plant. You can't have a cold-blooded assassin named after a fucking flower. You just can't.

2) Her hair is pink. Her eyes are green. These are called happy colors. If you have a fic where she dies her hair say... black, seems to be an angsty favorite, perhaps you should consider what she would actually look like with black hair. A freak—not some bad-ass sex toy, but a slut who doesn't know how to do hair. Oh, and green is the color of spring, rejuvenation, and life! You don't have the character with happy colors turn emo!

3) I have read a dozen stories that play somewhere on the lines of 'And Sakura got fed up with Sasuke one day and decided that she was going to hate him.' Again, what the hell? Did she just PSM really bad one day, wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and have her coffee machine break down? I mean, she spends half of her childhood chasing after the guy who blows her off... to sporadically wake up one day and say, "Hey, I feel like hating Sasuke now."? No.

4) 'Her parents are murdered and she becomes obsessed with power. Now can Sasuke save her?' If I hear that line again, I am going to gouge my knuckles out with toothpicks! First of all, tragedy happens. We don't all turn into self-centered killers, amazingly enough because if we did there wouldn't be many people left in the world. Sasuke is emotionally constipated, so of course he becomes the traitor! However, Sakura, who has seen the corruption of power and has several parent-figures in her life, probably could find a way to cope... say, crying or art... hell, let the girl eat ramen everyday if she has to. But turning into Miss I-don't-give-a-shit doesn't work. I mean what, did the writer accidentally get Haruno confused with Uchiha and forget what character they were writing about?

5) Sakura a cutter. WTF???? Do people really have such pathetic lives that instead of writing horrible OC Mary Sue's they have to put their own useless emotions into real characters? First of all, the chick is a medical nin. She's not going to go around making scars in her own skin before flipping back to heal them. She's a kunoichi, which means she endures pain, not relishes in it. And... why does she have to be suicidal? Sakura is the flower, remember? Her name is Haruno, not Uchiha, Haruno.

6)I don't really care if anyone was offended by this. Why? Because if you are actually offended by this then you had to write a fiction like this, and if you are apathetic enough to write a piece of shit—I don't give a damn.

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Hey, if you agree you should review. If you hate me, go ahead and flame. Just know beforehand that my vocabulary is wider than yours and I have no problem using it.