"So you really don't remember me?"
Atton watched as the petite woman carefully scrutinized him. She tilted her head side to side, and narrowed her eyes when she met his.
"No," she simply stated, her round blue eyes turned away from his.
"You know, I heard about it, but I never quite believed it. But trust me, if the whole thing was made up you wouldn't forget me."
"Oh really? Were you that terrible? Did I have to force choke you?"
He snorted as he took another shot of Alderaan Ruge, "Nah, you weren't into that kind of stuff. And besides, terrible doesn't even begin to describe it." His face leered into a crooked smile at her.
She wrinkled her nose at him, looking into her own glass, she ignored his comment, "It's just frustrating, you know? That seven years after the fact and I still can't remember everything."
Atton swallowed another shot, "Can't be that bad, right? Not everyone gets the chance to forget being Dark Lord of the Sith."
Revan's eyes flashed with anger for a moment, "Well yes, but that's not all of it. I mean I don't remember my childhood, any of my original masters, or anything, really. Everyone thinks the Jedi Council saved me, but I think they did a damn good job at getting their revenge."
"Revenge?"
"I kill half their order, and so they destroy my mind beyond repair. It's never been a way out for me, like so many people think. I still struggle with remembering things that happened a year ago. It wasn't a once and done thing, and I think they knew that."
Atton pressed his lips together, unsure if another drink would put him over the edge. "Then how did you know to find me?" He motioned for the bartender, who already had his next shot waiting for him.
"Because she sent me."
He choked down his drink, "I know."
Revan's eyes darted around the cantina for a moment, "You have anywhere where we could talk, you know...privately?"
Atton nodded and grabbed his trusty ribbed jacket. He threw some credits down on the bar to cover both of their drinks. Upon standing he realized the extent of the alcohol's effects. He took a careful step forward, looking to Revan who gave him a nasty smirk.
"Trouble holding your liquor there, flyboy?"
"Nope, no trouble here," he assured, "besides, I drank twice as much as you. I'd like to see you stand straight after that much alcohol."
Revan couldn't help but smile, "I'm also half your weight, I think if I drank as much as you I'd die from alcohol poisoning."
"There's only one way to find out," Atton looked down at her body. Her head came up to his chest, but her bones stuck out awkwardly, giving her a razor sharp appearance.
She took a step to the side, "Little obvious with your leering there, flyboy. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate it."
"Leering? At you? That's a laugh. I don't think you even have anything to leer at."
"Well you wouldn't know that unless you were leering."
Atton rolled his eyes and attempted to swat her on the shoulder. He was off though, and ended up getting his hand caught in her long dark hair. Untangling it, he rolled his eyes as she began to laugh.
They rounded a corner and he opened the door to his apartment. He had taken up residence there shortly after she left, knowing that all he had was pazaak and drinking. She said that Kreia told her that she couldn't take anyone she loved when looking for Revan. Despite his best efforts, she left without him. His face turned to stone as he remembered the note she left him, archaically written down on a piece of paper. After a few tries, his hand found his pocket and he fingered the paper, as he usually did when thinking of her.
She had grown distant before she left. He could see it in her eyes that she was forcing herself to stop loving him. She stopped hugging him, kissing him, and sleeping with him. Both literally and figuratively. By the end, she had stopped sleeping altogether, trying to make a decision. He saw the war waging in her heart, and in the end he wasn't enough to make her stay.
Atton had tried to convince himself that he was okay with it. He never was worth much, he shouldn't have gotten his hopes up in the first place. But that was her fault. She, who not only forgave him for his horrible past and trained him to become a Jedi, also truly loved him. Why would he expect her to consider him?
Before they left, Mical, Bao-Dur, and Mira had all tried to convince him that it was for the best. But they all believed in that Jedi scrag. You guys care too much about each other. If one of you were to die, the other would surely fall into darkness. They might've had a point, but it didn't matter to Atton. He found someone who saw past him, who saw beyond his past. She had been the only one he told, and she still loved him. He wasn't about to give that up.
But he didn't have a choice. He didn't know when she had left, but it was at some point during the day while he was out. He came back to their apartment on Telos only to find the note and a lightsaber he had seen her tinkering with during their entire mission. Atton had always wondered why she never used it, but on that day he realized it always was for him. When he had first become a Jedi he used a spare lightsaber that they had on board. It wasn't much, and she must've realized that.
He hadn't had any chances to use it, nor his Force capabilities. He pretty much shut them out when she left. He didn't need it anymore. He wasn't about to go out and save the galaxy without her. Atton packed and left for Nar Shaddaa to do what he was best at: drinking and pazaak.
His fingers still ran along the delicate edges of the paper, his mood had significantly soured. Revan was eyeing him the whole time, suspicious as to what he could possibly be thinking of that could affect him so greatly.
"So Revan," he began, "why is it that she sent you instead of coming herself?"
She narrowed her eyes, "First of all, don't call me Revan. I killed the last person who called me that. You probably remember him. Tall, bald, ridiculously annoying."
"Ah, yes, Malak. Great guy, knew him during the wars. He was pretty sweet on you, as were most of the troops."
He noticed her cheeks flush for a moment, "Please," she rolled her eyes, "I doubt anyone even saw my face behind that mask. I'd still wear one, but I'm sure everyone would assume I'm some evil overlord again."
Atton smirked, "Only the best saw behind your mask."
"Remind me again how I know you? Or rather you know me?" She said while crossing her arms.
His lips twisted into a grim smile, "Yeah that's not something I talk about. Too bad you can't just remember me yourself"
"I'd like to think that I know who I'm going to be travelling with," she narrowed her eyes, 'No offense, but I don't trust you. How am I supposed to know that you're not about to kill me in my sleep?"
"Travelling with? Why don't you explain what's going on here before I even consider killing you in your sleep. I know she sent you, but why? What happened to her?"
"Natalya's okay, I think."
"You think?" He exclaimed. This was already starting off well.
"Yes, I think. She met up with me about a year ago. As I'm sure you're aware, I've been fighting the Sith beyond the Outer Rim. I had a dream one night, but I know it's one of my only real memories. I had to follow it, and things were going pretty well. I'll spare you the details. Natalya was on a simple mission. She left with a few soldiers, preparing to track down and intercept a message intended for the Sith."
Atton bit his lip nervously, "What happened?"
"I haven't heard from her for over two months. She said she wasn't expecting any problems, but something must've happened. When she first found me, she told me she was one of my generals during the Mandalorian Wars. Again, I'll spare you the details, your mind is probably moving pretty slow after all of that alcohol. Anyway, she told me that if something ever happened to her that I should find Atton Rand."
"And so you came to tell me yourself? Couldn't have gotten a lowly lackey to do it for you? Who's even watching over your armada?"
"I had to come see for myself who this Atton character was. She never shut up about you. Anyway, I thought it would be hell to track you down, but the Force is always at work. I ran into a friend of yours, told me you were probably on Nar Shaddaa. Drinking. You can probably figure out how the story ends."
Atton shifted uncomfortably, "Did you send anyone to find Natalya? What could've happened to her?"
"No, our troops are already spread pretty thin out there. I wasn't about to risk losing everything just to find her. I must admit though, she was a powerful ally. I figured I'd grab you and use whatever bond you have with her to track her down." Revan looked at him squarely. Their eyes pierced each other.
"She's probably dead by now," he muttered, "Great, I'm so glad I let her leave. I knew she was going to go and yet I didn't open my stupid mouth because I was going to let her make her own damn decision. And now she's missing in the Outer Rim! What a stand-up guy I am. What, you think that because I love her I'm about to go traipsing around the galaxy with the former Dark Lord of the Sith? Nope, ain't happening, Rev."
"Shut up, Rand. If anything, it's my fault I let her go without the proper research. It was an important mission and time was of the essence so I let her go. She's not dead. I know she's not, so you can stop the whole pity party."
They stopped for a moment in a staredown.
She smirked, "I brought the Ebon Hawk."
"And that's supposed to make me trust you?" He said despite the small smile that grew on his lips.
"Hey I don't trust you anymore than you trust me. And apparently we know each other, or at least we do if you've been telling the truth."
He rolled his eyes and smirked, "Yeah we knew each other. Alright, I'll go with you. But only because I don't have my own ship and you at least have a clue as to where she'll be. Don't get any ideas though that I actually want to spend some quality time with you."
"Don't worry, the feeling is mutual. Somewhere in my skittish brain I thought Natalya would actually choose a decent guy," she exhaled through a small smile, shaking her head, "Meet me at the docks tomorrow morning, and try not to be too hungover."
She stood to leave, but Atton intercepted her at the door.
"Oh no you don't, Rev. Wherever Natalya is, she could be in danger and I'm not about to waste precious time waiting for morning."
"First of all, don't call me Revan. Second, you're drunk. And third, a minute ago you weren't about to come with me at all," she muttered, trying to push him out of the way.
Atton laughed at her failed attempts to move him, "Okay, but I'm going to call you Revan anyways, your Lordship. And I've flown ships much drunker than this, especially the Hawk. And don't worry your pretty little destroyed mind about my reasoning. We're going. Now."
She opened her full lips to protest, but before she knew it he hauled her over her shoulder, leaving the apartment.
"Okay! Okay!" she cried out, "We can leave now, just put me down!"
He settled her back onto the ground, not bothering to wait for her to catch up with him. He heard her brisk footsteps behind him as they headed to the docks.
"I can't believe I came all this way for you," she muttered behind him as she caught up.
"And I can't believe I'm leaving this brain dead planet with you. Hell, I never thought I'd see you again after the war. Or at least I'd be dead if I did."
"Ah, so it was the Jedi Civil War? Hmm, you were on my side? Hey, you're not still a Sith are you?" She said, swinging her arms lazily. She knew he wasn't, but it was fun to tease him.
"I told you it's not something I talk about," he muttered, catching a glimpse at her out of the corner of his eye.
"You're the one who brought it up," she said, snarkily. Atton snorted slightly.
"Shut up, Lord Revan."
Her lips almost formed a pout before a smile crinkled onto her face.
"Just try not to kill us getting off this planet," she sneered, hurrying in front of him into the docks.
"Wouldn't dream of it," he muttered under his breath. He sighed and caught up with her, reminding himself that he was only doing it for Natalya's sake.