Leonardo is afflicted with feelings of guilt while Raphael is in his coma. When the red-branded turtle awakens, what other feelings will accompany the relief and sorrow? Turtle-cest, LeoXRaph. Based on the 1990 TMNT live-action film, and told from Leonardo's perspective.

I do not own any of the characters. I just have a liking of this particular pairing.

A Healing Heart - Chapter 1: Realisation

When Raph fell through the skylight, I remember my heart sinking. The guilt I felt was immense, and I felt responsible that he was hurt.

If only I hadn't said those words to you… you'd still be…

After a fight with the Foot, and with Casey's timely arrival, we escaped the burning apartment, and were at a house from April's past. Raph was placed inside the bath-tub, cool water doing what it could to soothe his wounds. I remained by his side, providing an ever-watchful vigil over him. I couldn't hide the tears that continued to stream down my face, nor did I attempt to. As I saw him laying unconscious in the tub, I continued to be overwhelmed with sadness.

Why did I have to speak such cruelty, brother? If you never wake up, I… I…

I choked back a sob as April walked into the bathroom. Her sympathetic gaze met mine, and she walked towards the tub, kneeling down and gathering water into her hands, dripping it over my brother's shell and gently rubbing his arm. I watched, hoping he would stir, but he remained in his comatose state, and I lowered my gaze, even more tears falling. April stood and approached me.

"He'll be okay…" she murmured softly, before leaving me alone with Raph once more. I glanced back at him, hopeful that the woman was right.

Please… be okay…

My heart felt heavy as I remembered our last conversation… the argument we had shortly before he was ambushed.

"Stupid, really…" I muttered under my breath, voice catching in my throat. "I understand he… but we had to…"

"Maybe I'll just take my attitude and leave!"

We'd argued a little more, but the ill feeling in the pit of my stomach returned as I remembered the last thing I had said to him.

"Go ahead! We don't need you!"

I buried my face in my hands, as tears began to flow freely, my soft sobs echoing in the bathroom.

Please wake up, Raph… We do need you… I need you!

Raphael remained motionless, as I continued to remember the attack from the Foot. The bastards were relentless, and just seeing Raph in his condition made me want to kill them all.

No! I don't want to think of that!

Another sob caught itself in my throat, but a soft groan made me stop. Glancing up, my eyes widened as I saw Raphael looking around the room in confusion. My heart felt like it stopped beating, and I jumped out of my chair.

"Raph!" I cried out, running to his side and kneeling beside him. "Y-you're awake!"

Placing a hand on his chest, I began crying tears of relief, but I still had to know. "How do you feel?"

Looking at me weakly, he smacked his lips together.

"What's a guy got to do…" he murmured. "…to get some food around here?"

The smile that came to my face was clear as crystal. Standing up, I raced to the door.

"Hey!" I called out, my voice a bit strange. "Hey, he's awake! He wants some food! Bring some food!"

I ran back to his side and gently cupped his face in my hands.

"You're gonna be okay, Raph…" I assured him, looking into his eyes. "You're gonna be okay!"

Placing his hands on mine, my brother removed them from his face, looking a little uncomfortable.

"Yeah, yeah…" he groaned. "All right, Leo… Get a grip, will ya?"

He is okay… he will be okay… Raph…

I gave a weak smile and helped lift him to his feet. Giving a sigh, I made sure he was close to me. I didn't want to risk him getting hurt any further.

"Listen, Raph…" I said, my voice soft, and guilt-ridden. "About what I said before… y'know… about not needing you, and all…"

Raphael stared squarely into my eyes and slightly shook his head.

"Leo…" he murmured, placing his arms around me. "…don't…"

I returned the embrace, tears once again streaming down my face, as I held him close, not ever wanting to let go.

"Raphie…" I whispered. "I missed you…"

He froze up at the nickname I had called him, the two of us moving apart and glancing behind me as Donatello chuckled.

"It's a Kodak moment…"

As he and April shared chuckles, I felt my heart race in my chest.

I feel so strange… but it feels kinda good too.

The other two left us alone, saying something about… actually, I didn't pay much attention. With them gone, I embraced my red-branded brother once again.

"L-Leo?" he asked shakily. "Are you…?"

"I nearly lost you, Raphie…" I interrupted. "I felt so helpless. I was so upset and angry… with the Foot, but mostly… with myself."

I didn't give him the chance to protest, and while at the time, I wasn't sure why I did what I did, I knew that for some reason, I had to. Nonetheless, I moved my head back slightly and, after gently cupping his face in my hands once more, leaned in and captured his lips with my own. The kiss was brief, as I gave a soft muttered apology and let him go.

"Raph… I think it's time I got you something to eat…"

Both of our cheeks were flushed, and as I began to move, I suddenly felt my hand being taken. Glancing back, I saw that my brother had taken hold of it, and was glancing down at the floor.

"Leo…" he said, his voice very soft. "Why did you…?"

I shook my head in response, indicating that I wasn't sure, but I once again had the need to be closer to him. I felt a strange sensation in the pit of my stomach, and my lips tingled.

"I don't know…" I finally answered. "But… I want to do it again… and again…"

His cheeks matching the colour of his band, Raph stared at me.

"I…" he choked out. "I would be lying if I said it doesn't sound appealing… but first… got anything to eat?"

I laughed helplessly, and took his hand, leading him to the kitchen. On the way, I realised something which made me smile to myself.

I'm in love… with Raphael…