This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction so don't judge if it sucks haha
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Unfortunately..
I'm going along with the current theme of the show, just changing some parts. Also going to incorporate Emison scenes used on the show.
Hope you enjoy. Follows and reviews (good or bad) will be much appreciated.
Chapter one: I miss you
*thump thump thump*
The rain hit hard against the bedroom windows.
Emily jolted up from her desk, startled, as she'd just experienced that horrendous feeling where you feel like you're suddenly falling. She rubbed her eyes and slumped back in her chair.
"Fuck" she grumbled, as realized just how long she had dozed off for.. She could've sworn she'd just closed her eyes for a few minutes.
01:43 - The time read as she unlocked her phone. She looked up at the blank screen of her laptop in front of her. She rubbed at her temples to try relieve the throbbing head ache that had been killing her all day.
She had an English assignment due that same day. King Lear. Shakespearean hogwash. She hadn't even finished reading the book, and of what she did read she could remember just about…well…nothing. "Why the hell did I leave this until the last moment?" she grumbled to herself; annoyed. There was no use now. It was far too late and she could barely keep her eyes open, not to mention the head ache that was getting worse by the minute. She needed to sleep. She would deal with the consequences later that day..
She shut down her laptop and went over to place the book on her bookshelf. She knelt down to the bottom shelf to find a gap for it; she shifted the books up and shoved it in. Upon doing so, her copy of Charles Dickens' novel Great Expectations caught her eye, (well, technically it was the school library's..) She felt a lump at her throat and a knot formed in her stomach.
She pulled it out from the shelf and just stared at it. The cover was so faded and had embarrassingly big dogs' ears. Wear and tear from being handled and read so many times. Despite its shocking, delapidated appearance; it was one of her most cherished possessions. The pages were filled with Ali's scribbles and doodles; they couldn't not bring a smile to Emily's face..
She closed her eyes
- flashback -
She had just walked out of her math class and was walking across the hall to Ali's bio class. But when she peered inside, the blonde was no where in sight.
"Hey, where are you? Didn't you just have bio?" Emily texted her.
Emily continued down the hallway towards the cafeteria, assuming Ali had already gone off to meet up with the others for break. Before she'd reached it, her phone buzzed.
"Decided to blow bio off today. Wasn't in the mood for Mr. McConnell and plant science on a Monday morning lol. Been hiding out in the back of the library. Meet me here?"
Emily chuckled and shook her head, "Oh Ali Ali Ali".
"Haha, sure." Em texted back.
Moments later she was in the library looking for her friend. She started towards the back of the library, searching for Alison between the aisles of books. Then she heard Ali giggling from the next shelf ahead. There Ali was, on the floor by the third to last bookshelf, legs crossed, with her eyes fixated on a book. Emily stopped to lean against a shelf and smiled at the sight.
"What's so funny?" she asked grinning.
"Their names" Ali giggled back. "Pip, Mr. Whopsle, uncle Pumblechook; they all sound like stuffed animals."
Emily giggled, walked over to her, and sat down beside her.
"I can't believe you already finished it" Emily exclaimed.
Ali smiled widely and looked up at Emily. "Want me to tell you what happens? I can make you a cheat sheet.." She ran her hand through the brunette's hair flirtatiously, "You know, you should really let me braid your hair sometime."
Emily blushed a little and smiled shyly.
"I had a dream last night, about Jenna.."
"Emily don't," Alison cut her off mid-thought. Her smile faded and her face was now guilt-ridden. "okay stop thinking about that. There's all sorts of operations and stuff they can do." Ali responds sharply, almost trying to convince herself more than she was Emily.
Emily smiled brightly once more, "I dreamt that she came back, and she could see perfectly, and she forgave us" she poured out, staring deeply into ocean blue eyes.
Alison's smile returned, she couldn't believe the girl sitting in front of her was actually real. She was everything that was good in this world. Her heart; so kind, so loving. She admired her so..
She gazed adoringly into Emily's bright chocolate orbs, and in that moment became weak, "That's why I love you" she sighed, "you're big on happy endings.."
"So was Dickens, by the way" Ali stated, looking down at her book again. "Pip gets Estella in the end." her voice breaking ever so slightly at the end of her sentence.
"Can I read you something?" she asked sweetly, almost child-like.
With a soft smile, Emily nodded back at her lightly.
"And I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness. Against all discouragement that could be." Her eyes kept alternating gazes between her book and then back into the brown eyes locked on her.
"Did you get to that part yet?" Ali asked.
With another slight nod, Emily leaned her face up to Ali's. Both smiled, as brown eyes locked with blue, for a moment, before Emily leaned over completely to plant a quick peck on Ali's lips. Alison's eyes fluttered closed at the contact. As the kiss broke, both girls smiled once more and Alison could feel her face flush.
She looked back down at the book, trying to hide her blushing cheeks. Her fingers working over the edges of the book.
Emily wasn't sure what to make of Ali's sudden silence. Had she just put her off? Did she freak her out? She too was looking down, her mind flooding with thoughts.
Ali was first to break the silence. Her sweet, soft tone from before, now back to its regular strong, confident tone.
"God, I'm starving. Let's go eat!" Ali ordered as she got back up on her feet. "Are you gonna come, or are you just going to sit there all day?" she asked looking down at Emily.
Emily broke from her daze and got up on her feet. She gave Ali an uneasy smile, unsure of how she may react next. Ali's moods changed so unexpectedly at times. One moment she would be so gentle and easy, and the next thing she'd be snapping at you. You never knew what she was truly feeling, because she was always so guarded. It was only on the rare ocassion, like that day in the library, that Emily felt she saw the real Ali. Like, her walls were down, if only for just a little while. Emily longed for those moments. She had noticed that it only ever happened when they were alone, which sort of made her happy in a way. That maybe Alison trusted her enough to lay down her guard? At least, she wanted to believe that..
"EMILY?" Alison spat out. "God, what is up with you today?"
Emily's face fell. "Nothing, just a little tired I guess.." she answers back softly, her hands fumbling.
Alison rolled her eyes and shoved the library's copy of Great Expectations into her bag.
"Aren't you going to check the book out before taking it? Emily asks as she walked up to Alison's side.
"Nah, it's mine now." she answered with a naughty smirk and a wink. "Now move your ass so we can eat before break ends."
Emily smiled again as Ali walked ahead of her towards the library's entrance.
"Oh Ali.." she whispered to herself again before following after her.
- flashback ends -
Emily, now positioned with her back against her bed, with her legs curled up and with the book pressed tightly against her chest; was in tears. The collar of her shirt - drenched from the pouring of her swollen, red eyes. Her throat so tight and nose so clogged up, that her breathing became deep and uneasy. She brought her head down between her legs and gave out a loud scream. The tears streaming from her eyes even more now.
"A-A-Al-l-l-iiii" "w-whyyy", she croaked out almost inaudibly.
You'd think that after all this time it would hurt a little less - losing Ali. But it didn't. Not a day would pass without something reminding her of the girl that stole her heart.
She remained there in that position, crying harder and harder as the time passed, until she eventually exhausted herself from crying and fell asleep; On the floor, with the book still cluched against her chest..
"Emily? Emily, honey, wake up"
With very little sleep after a difficult night, Emily finally became aware of her name being called out. Her eyes fluttered open and shut a few times; by the brightness that shone so uninvitedly into them, she realized it was morning.
"Mmmm" she gave out a groggy moan before shifting into a sitting position.
"Emily, sweetheart. You're going to be late for school", her mother knelt down beside her and caressed her daughter's arm. "Are you feeling okay?" she inquired softly.
"Hmm yeahh" Emily mumbled back, rubbing the sleepiness from her eyes. "Just didn't sleep very well, that's all."
"Well I should think so if you slept on the floor all night", her mom responded jokingly. "You'd better get up if you still want to make it to school on time. I just made some pancakes for breakfast so hurry before they get cold." She brushed her daughter's hair back and planted a kiss on her forehead before getting up and walking out of the room.
Emily rubbed her eyes once more before getting up on her feet and making her way towards the bathroom, she threw off her clothes and hopped into the shower.
She showered as fast as she could possibly bring her exhausted self to, finished up in the bathroom and made her way back to her room. But not before banging her big toe on the cabinet in the hallway, "AHH FUCK! SHIT, FUCK, DAMMIT!" she cursed out. "I'm already so fucking done with today" she muttered, as she rubbed at her paining digit.
She threw on a pair of black yoga pants and matched it with a purple top and sneakers. It was a little nippy out, so she grabbed a hoodie from her closet and made her way downstairs.
With no time to sit down and eat breakfast, she just grabbed a plastic container and threw in three pancakes to munch along the way. She reached for an umbrella on her way out, as it was drizzling slightly and then made her way to her car.
She hopped in, took a huge bite of one of the pancakes, started the car and turned the radio up,
"But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in"
The song lyrics brought on a sudden, sharp pang in Emily's chest..
"And now I miss everything about you
I can't believe it, I still want you
After all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you, whoa…"
"I see your blue eyes
Every time I close mine"
Tears started welling at her Emily's eyes..
"You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm not with me"
"But I never told you
What I should have sai-"
Emily changed the radio station, she couldn't listen to that song. The lyrics hit too close, ironically too close. And she didn't need a repetition of the previous night.
Thankfully she didn't live too far from school and made it into class just in the nick of time.
She plopped herself in her seat.
"Omg Em, there you are!" Hanna chirped from the seat next to hers. "We were thinking you weren't gonna pitch up. Did'ya sleep late or what?" she inquired perkily.
"Hmm, yeah. Overslept. Rough night.." Emily mumbled back zombie-ishly.
"Yeah I can tell. You look like hell, Em. Lol." Hanna responds as tactfully as ever. "Late night with Paige?" she smirked back with a wink.
"No." Emily reponded sharply. Her voice filled with very obvious annoyance.
"Well aren't you pleasant today.." Hanna cackled back in a taunting tone.
Emily shot her a dirty look and Hanna's eyes flickered down.
"Whateverrr" she muttered under her breath.
The lesson went by in silence. Emily nodded off to sleep minutes after her conversation with Hanna and thankfully Mrs. Paulson didn't notice her dozing away.
The sound of the bell woke her.
"PLEASE LEAVE YOUR ENGLISH ASSIGNMENTS IN A PILE ON MY DESK ON YOU WAY OUT, CLASS." Mrs. Paulson called out loudly.
"Awh fuck" Emily spat out. She had completely forgotten about that..
With no energy to argue, explain herself or to bargain with the teacher, Emily just decided to say nothing at all. She shuffled her way out with the rest of the class. If the teacher asked her where her assignment was, she would simply say she handed it in and it must've gotten lost somehow. By the time she'd get around to those papers, Emily will have actually done it and will just hand it in "again".
Emily walked down the hallway towards her locker.
"Guess who?" her eyes were covered by a pair of hands from behind her.
"Oh hey Paige.." she chirped.
She hadn't seen or spoken to Paige since the previous week, and was quite happy to hear her voice and see her adoring smile.
"Hi there stranger." Paige winked. She leaned in to give Emily a peck. "I missed you."
"I missed you too, Paige. Sorry I've been so quiet…just have a lot on my mind lately" she smiled apologetically.
"Ahh don't worry 'bout it! I've been pretty busy myself. Would be nice having you around the pool again though." she nudged, smiling.
"Not likely to happen any time soon, or ever, for that matter. Not with the blow I got to my shoulder.." Emily responds, with an obvious sadness in her voice.
She loved to swim, and would have loved to make a career of it, too. But that was just one other thing that -A stole from her.
The bell rang again.
Emily kissed Paige good-bye and continued off to her next class, Chem.
Still being an exhausted mess, Emily had no energy to participate and was once again falling asleep in the lab.
"Emily! Wake up!" she heard Spencer's voice spit out. "Will you go bring me two clean beakers, please? You don't need to help, just move around a little so it looks like you're actually doing something." she said annoyed.
"Ugh, fine" Emily snapped back, in no mood to argue.
Spencer had been so stressed out about school and college lately and she had a tendency to take her stress out on everyone else..
"Here" Emily muttered back and slumped back onto her stool.
"Hey Em, I'm sorry for snapping at you before. I'm just so stres-
"It's okay Spence" Emily stopped her mid sentence. "I've been a little snappish myself lately" she said laughing.
Spencer smiled back lightly. "Em, are you okay?"
"Yeah? Why do you ask?"
"I don't know-you just seem a little out of it.. You know I'm here if you need anything, right?" she responded, sounding genuinely concerned.
Emily smiled, "Thanx Spence, I know.."
"Now that you mention it, you wouldn't happen to have a book assignment on King Lear for me? I kinda…didn't do mine." she inquired sheepishly.
"Of course" Spencer responds in a comforting tone. "Just tweak it here and there to make it seem less…me. And, more…you." she laughed and gave Emily's shoulder a squeeze.
"You're a life saver! I really owe you one" Emily smiled, relieved.
They finished off their class assignment and parted ways once class ended.
"See you at lunch" Spencer called out as she walked off to her next class.
Before Emily knew it, it was lunch time, thank God for that too as she was starving.
"Are you gonna finish that?" Hanna asked for the third time.
"Yes Hanna" Aria replied. For the third time.
"Hmpff" the blonde groaned.
Everyone laughed.
"WHAT?" she exclaimed.
"Lol, nothing Hanna" Emily reassured her. They all shared amused glances and finished their lunches.
Soon enough the school day was over and Emily headed back home. She just wanted to sleep and wake up feeling normal again.
She walked in through the front door and headed towards the staircase.
"Emily? Is that you? her mother called out from the kitchen.
"Yeah hey mom. I'm going to my room to rest."
"Just come here a sec, sweetie. I have a surprise for you" her mom called out again happily.
Emily walked into the kitchen and her face lit up.
"Daddy!" she shrieked excitedly.
She ran into his arms and he spun her around the room.
"Emmy, sweetheart." he said softly, giving her a tight squeeze. "Guess you missed your old man, huh?"
"Just a little" Emily responded cheekily.
"A little?" her dad raised his brow comically.
"Mhmm" she chuckled.
Surprise visits from her dad were honestly the best. It was hard with him being stationed out in Texas. She and her mom missed him terribly.
"I thought you weren't coming until next month?" Emily inquired.
"Yeahh that was the plan. But we'll have a lot going on next month, so they decided to move my visit up a month so I can be back by then."
"How long are you staying?"
"Five whole weeks!" her dad winked.
"YAY" Emily shrieked out wrapping her arms around her dad again. "This is so awesome!"
She had totally forgotten how tired she was and spent a good few hours downstairs with her mom and dad. It felt so good to catch up as a family. They ate dinner and exchanged stories and joked and laughed and everything felt perfect again.
After dinner she really had to get that sleep she so desperately needed. So she kissed her parents goodnight and excused herself to a much needed early night.
She collapsed back onto her bed and rolled over on her side. But the smile on her face soon faded when she looked over to her bed-side stand. She shifted up into a seated position against the head board and reached for the photo frame on the stand.
It was a picture of herself and Ali, taken a few months before she disappeared; a year and eight months prior.
She brushed over the picture with her thumb and a tear rolled down her cheek.
"I miss you so much…" she whispered, staring at the blonde girl in the photo. She was so perfect. Ali.. Even with all her faults and flaws she was still perfect in Emily's eyes. There wasn't a day that went by that Emily didn't miss Ali or didn't think about her. She would've given anything if it could mean she could have her back. But alas..
Emily was soon asleep, photo frame still in hand.