It's been a pretty long time since I've posted a DeSu2 fic so I hope this one will make your day. I tried making it a songfic to "When She Loved Me" but then I scrapped doing that altogether. It's sort of different to my previous works. I'm still experimenting with Alcor's character.
Characters: Hiro Kageyama and the Anguished One
Pairing: Hiro/Anguished One
Song: "Last Carnival" by Norihiro Tsuru
Warnings: Takes place after Daichi's route
I don't own Devil Survivor 2
Comments and criticisms are welcomed.
It's chilly outside, something unexpected as the dewy buds on the tree are waiting to bloom in Miyashita Park. Soft greens hide flowers underneath that will soon bloom into a spectacular display. These new breathes of life wait, slowly being nurtured until the right moment will come for their arrival.
Alcor floats idly amongst the trees. He brushes a bud with the tip of his nail, rather engrossed in watching nature at its finest. It is strange to think that such a tiny thing could develop into something essential for a plant's survival. Then again, who would have thought the help he gave to humans would burst into such a fascinating civilisation? Something that he overlooked and that Polaris came despise.
He shakes his head and chuckles a bit as people chattering walk on by, minding their way, lost in their own world. No one would notice him and perhaps that was a good thing.
These faces are no longer filled with despair or loss. Man is back on their path but… What is their path? Their limit? Only Polaris knows now; Alcor frowns at the thought that this normalcy could end at any time and those days that did not exist will come to and it will repeat once more.
The branches rustle and the wind tussles Alcor's tendrils. He closes his eyes and smiles for there is still hope. Hope that lies within his friend, the Shining One. He knew that he desired to keep those memories and so, it was of no shock when Alcor learned that the Shining One retained them. It is disappointing, however, that his friends- the only few who can understand him- have forgotten. Whether they are strong enough to remember is up to them but until then, the Shining One is now alone. There is no one left for him to be stronger, to gain support from, and thus his brightness dulls with each passing day.
This is something he didn't expect.
Alcor shifts, as his vision is unclear under a multi-coloured light.
He recognises its wavelength and feels heavy.
Right below stands him, his friend- the Shining One.
"Hah…I suppose it's more reasonable to say you aren't really shining, are you?" He whispers.
It is true. The boy is only a mere fraction of his former glory. Usually, people would look at him, be drawn to his presence like moths to a fire and yet they all pass on by. Strangers who bump into him give him no back glance. They continue on their way, forgetting the incident ever occurred.
Alcor takes a deep breath, the cold tingling the back of his throat, then swallows. His eyes moves from side to side before they completely settle on the Shining One.
He looks different now: back is hunched, face is tilted down and hands are always in the front pockets of his pants or arms crossed. His hood is all the way up and the bunny ears hold no real shape to them anymore. They sag and Alcor notes that he looks like a beaten rabbit, waiting, desperately waiting for someone- anyone to notice it.
Help… help… help…
Alcor swears he hears his thoughts, his deathly silent whispers amongst the trees. Hiro's mouth doesn't move an inch but Alcor hears it. He knows he can and yet he doesn't act on it.
Alcor is dead.
Or at least that is what Hiro thinks.
Everyone grew but forgot their gradual steps of how they came to be. If their new found determination stayed, then a tool like himself will not have the slightest hope of living. He cannot exist… but he does for all septentriones act as guardians and are there to serve Polaris' will.
And thus he waits.
The wind scatters. The branches continues to rustle. And the sound of birds chirping echo in the distance.
Hiro remains, stagnant in that spot, sitting on the bench; his head is still down. The afternoon stretches and soon the calls in the distant fade into the dusk. Twilight approaches but soon dissipates into night.
The evening chill causes him to shudder, white puffs of breath barely visible in poor lighting. Alcor wonders how long he'll stay there shivering and unwilling to move, stuck in that spot, that time.
It gets worse as each minute passes. A shudder turns to shivers and he begins blowing on his hands, rubbing them together until they turn a pinkish red. The tip of his nose is so much like his hands and there's a tinge of colour present on his normal white cheeks.
Alcor's hand tangles with a branch, splinters marring the guise.
Hiro coughs.
Something snaps.
He doesn't know how it happens but the sudden movement leads him in front of his friend who is trapped within his own maze.
"...Ah, it's you. We meet again, Shining One."
Lips that are set in a line relax and he looks up. The resounding calls of distant sirens is almost deafening.
"…Oh, it's you…"
"…Yes, it is me. I wanted to see you."
Hiro chokes out a chuckle and looks away. His gaze is so distant, as if the one before him is nothing more than a mere ghost, an echo of a memory that never truly existed.
There is a light tap as Alcor's feet touch the cement.
Still no answer.
He walks forward to the boy. Hiro's hands clench the long fabric ears.
"Shining One…" Alcor says as he reluctantly pats the Shining One's head.
It happens so quickly, like a shooting star. Everything becomes a hazy mix of red and black and Hiro can't see beyond it as he gets up to latch onto Alcor.
Slowly his hands climb the curve of Alcor's back until he finds himself fisting the fabric and pulling the alien even closer.
There are no tears- Alcor is sure of that but he stays silent and after a brief moment he starts rubbing Hiro's back. He had seen people do this before out of comfort for their loved ones; what he feels now is rather mysterious.
"You're alive," Hiro's voice cracked, making it sound like more of a question instead of a statement. "You really are alive."
"Hah, I never had expected that our few encounters would have a large impact on you. Tell me, Shining One," he pauses as Hiro shifts his head to the crook of Alcor's neck, "are you free from all your doubts now? Of all your troubles?"
Hiro pulls back. His bottom lip quivers and his usual bright, blue eyes are a translucent grey. Alcor has never seen this expression on him before. There is one reminiscent to it, or at least that is what he thinks it is, but when he saw it, those moments were so blurry, so dark, and then he was gone.
"Will you stay if I say no?"
"Shining One, I-"
"Please…"
Alcor tilts his head back. Never has the sky looked so empty in his life for all the stars are gone, lost because of the lights of the city.
"Shining One-"
"Please."
"I am. No. I," and Alcor falters.
What is he? Is this his decision to make? He chose to die as a tool in that week. He chose to end it all because of his doubts and watched, as the Shining One's companions look so dreadfully sad as they raised their phones with false hope that he would crumble and join them.
"Alcor, you aren't a tool." And Hiro can only bear a tiny smile when he hears Alcor's breathe catch and continues, "You are important to me."
He holds out his hand and Alcor can only wonder how afraid Hiro is of him leaving, never returning. It would be simple to just disappear now to a place where he could not catch him but his cries- his cries- would be whispers in his ears and he would want to come back. He would inevitably come back and he doesn't know why.
He retracts his hand slightly. Alcor sees the resolution in his eyes begin to waver before it reaffirms and he reaches for his hand. It's cold yet warm at the same time.
How mysterious indeed.
"Shining One, I… Your desire to have me stay is strong. I suppose you will not let me go a second time, will you? But I need more time. I will find you tomorrow."
He isn't sure how it happens but the light that used to be quite dim is far too bright. Hiro truly is the Shining One and he's blinding with pure potential. Alcor can only look at him with great happiness as the colours of excitement fill his face, his eyes and aura.
Hiro embraces him once more.
"Shining One?" Alcor lets those words fall out, each syllable becoming more quiet. He can't leave now for Hiro holds him securely there. It doesn't feel too bad but the dark clouds still rest on his mind.
Hiro murmurs something into the dip of his shoulder and Alcor hums. Hey says it once more but it's still so faint until he repeats it again.
"I… love you."
He presses himself closer to Alcor while the other is speechless until Hiro repeats those words even louder and ends with, "I will always love you."
Alcor's eyes narrow under the notion.
Always is an eternity.
An eternity is a very long time.
Alcor later decides to reaffirm his decision to stay, never repeating to Hiro those words of his confirmation.
"It appears your friends show no sign of being able to truly remember. Do you still regret it?"
Hiro says nothing as his gaze rests on two familiar faces in the distance, chattering on. They passed right on by him mere moments ago and didn't even spare a second glance even after their eyes had locked for what seemed to be an hour.
Alcor places his hand on the other's shoulder to hold him closer.
Daichi had done this before and earned himself a bought of laughter from his friend which spread like fire to others who watched the spectacle.
Hiro doesn't laugh.
Alcor isn't sure what he's doing wrong.
"You're the only one…"
"No." The response is curt and Hiro stops trying to look for their silhouettes in the sunset distance on this eerily empty street. "I'm not alone as long as you are here."
The hand that rested so perfectly on Hiro's shoulder slowly slides off and Alcor takes it to swipe his thumb against the high cut of the other's cheekbones.
Hiro whispers a quick "oh" and takes his sleeve to wipe the other eye.
Alcor feels a twinge of pain in his chest and he shouldn't have asked that question when it was already so clear what Hiro's response would be. He can't take it back.
So instead, he utters, "I will always be with you," and rests his head one Hiro's shoulder.
The sea of stars still churns, still moves and it is only natural that the seasons of Earth, so too, change as time goes on. Buds of life bloom into a spectacular array of flowers and leaves on trees go from verdant greens to warm oranges and rustic browns. It's only normal of course.
For Alcor, it is almost as breathtaking as when the light scatters on the ruined scape of the Akashic Stratum.
He has found himself more comfortable, where mingling with humans became easier than before. He doesn't have to watch or guess from mere expressions alone.
It is as if he can truly understand their emotion, their feelings and in turn, feel and be human himself. This is a faraway dream for it still eats him at his very core.
The constant thoughts of amounting no more to a tool, a disposable pawn to carry out its master's will and to protect it; it is unbearable.
These thoughts would make all the beauty in the world turn flat.
But then Hiro calls his name, Saiduq because it makes him more like a person, like someone who truly exists, and the world would shimmer. It would be normal once more.
And he feels, he understands, he sees what it means to be loved.
It is different, a far cry from the affections that Mizar had towards him.
Saiduq would comfort Hiro in times of loneliness. Bring him close on the soft plush of his bed and tell him of the stars billions of miles away and of the galaxies. Sometimes he would talk of times of old and then think of his septentriones companions.
Forever is something he can do.
It was something he and his binary star companion possessed.
Saiduq never sees the lost expression on Hiro's face.
"You've grown," Saiduq muses as he stares at their reflection in a window on the corner of some street. And it's shocking how different he looks compared to their initial meeting. The fingers that were tangled in the curly, obsidian locks free themselves and Saiduq finds himself staring into those deep blue eyes.
Hiro isn't quite the same.
Saiduq berates himself for that. He should have seen this and yet he didn't. The Akashic Records didn't need to tell him of this either.
Hiro is growing, changing, aging.
And Saiduq is already at his peak, unable to grow stronger, unable to age and it's happening all over again. As time flutters by, so does the brief moments they possess that will inevitably become dust and memories.
"I have to go to work."
Hiro places a chaste kiss on Saiduq's forehead and waves before he crosses the street.
The wind blows.
Saiduq leaves.
Saiduq, where are you?
Why won't you answer?
Please!
Answer me!
Please…
It's warm that day when Alcor looks through the window; his fingerprints are impressed onto the formerly clean glass. He doesn't see himself in it but rather only he man on the other side, contently chatting away to the woman juxtaposed from him on the other side of what appears to be the living room.
The cicadas are buzzing so loud that he can only catch the faintest sound of laughter from their conversation. There are smiles too and Alcor can't help but focus on the Shining One.
Slowly his fingers curl and he frowns, lashes low, bangs hiding his eyes.
It's really warm.
And Alcor only wishes that he would turn and notice him, to repeat those words of long ago.
By the time Hiro shifts his focus, Alcor is gone.
Just what was I trying to prove by doing all of this?
Hiro isn't as young as he used to be. This is what Alcor notes and has been noticing for the past few years.
It was only a brief moment ago did that child run around Japan wearing a bunny hood with his companions that he always stood next to.
Saiduq knows that his taste in music isn't the same. The old tunes that were hits decades ago still thrum through his mind. He remembers each word, each lyric from all of Hiro's favourite songs.
Those aren't playing now though.
His curly black hair has faded to wisps of white, the same colour of his own, and youthful eyes now crinkle with age.
Hiro is in the same chair, a blanket is wrapped around him and he is looking so intently at his phone that stopped working after Alcor had left.
It would be so easy now to do it again.
Instead, he walks out from the shadows of the room into the next, nearly stepping back when he sees Hiro look up rather bemused, phone dropping onto the floor.
Hiro holds out his shaking hand and Alcor takes it with both of his.
It's blemished, and splotchy and discoloured in some places. Wrinkles run deep and the veins stand out. It's rough and calloused and dry and Saiduq can't help but press it to his face.
The hand that defeated him. The hand that saved him.
Even in age, Hiro is so blinding.
Hiro smiles and pulls Alcor close, arms snug around his waist. Saiduq reciprocates the action and holds him close.
"I missed you… my friend."
Ah… I see.
"Shining One, I-"
Hiro cuts him off with his laughter. It's more of a mix of a wheeze and cackle, so heavy on his lungs.
It goes quiet afterwards and they remain in that position until Hiro lets go and looks passed Saiduq.
"She left a lot sooner than I did."
And Alcor remembers how empty the house was when she did. How huge it became when it was only Hiro in that place.
"Are you alone?"
"No…" he looks at Saiduq now, face warm as back then; his voice quiets, "Not anymore."
Alcor looks at the fireplace and the mantle above it. Photos, cards and figures cover it.
This house was well lived in. Saiduq knew that and he gives a tiny smile.
The light flickers and Alcor gasps and falls to his knees in front of the old man. He cups his face. His gaze has gone hazy.
"Because you're here…I knew you always were… Thank you…"
He closes his eyes.
All the light is gone.
The funeral is a mundane affair, nothing too spectacular. Not a lot of people show up. It's only close family members at this point.
It appears he was the last one.
Not even the skies gave way to the passing of a hero they knew of- they should have known of.
Soon he is the only one left.
Saiduq touches the tombstone, feeling the smooth cut of stone.
He quietly whispers, "I will always be with you."
Light turns dark. Dark turns light. Buds to flowers and flowers to leaves and leaves to nothingness. It repeats but Alcor is still there.
The wind blows. It's chilly and Alcor can't help but smile. It's unfamiliar on his lips but he recalls it belonging to much less monochrome days.
He asks, "Shining One, are you awake?"
No answer.
"Ah, my apologies. Man cannot answer while… sleeping."
One day, the grave disappears too.
There's nothing else left for him now and so he flies away, looking down at the world below.
It's gone: his clothes, body, scent, and all remnants of his light had shattered the moment he closed his eyes one last time.
And Alcor almost feels grateful he still has those memories- those dreams of when they were together.
Until he realises that they're not as clear as they used to be. His voice is all mumbled and blurred and static.
It's all gone.
There's nothing left.