This is Just a Dream
A two shot about Tessa and Jem based of off the song This is Just a Dream by Carrie Underwood. This is based in the modern world and there are no Shadowhunters/Downworlders. They were living in America and Jem joined the U.S. Marines. Obviously I do not own the characters or the song, only the idea and the story itself. Hope you like it.
Tessa could remember it like it was yesterday, the day she got married. She hadn't been eighteen but for two weeks and she was both scarred and anxious. Her dress was beautiful and she couldn't wait for Jem to see her in it. The dress was strapless and it was fitted to about her hips and then flared out like a ball gown. It was adorned with lace and the back was layered and had a train. Her bouquet was of calla lilies and red and white roses. Her garter was blue and she had an old pair of her mother's pearls she had barrowed for the occasion, she had even managed to get a sixpence which was currently in her left shoe. The ceremony had been short and sweet and the attendance small. As soon as the preacher had announced them Mr. and Mrs. James Carstairs they were out the doors and on to their new life together. A life they were supposed to have for forever.
Tessa came back to the present as she heard doors closing and people walking on gravel. She looked over to the passenger seat where and old shoe box rested, a shoe box full of letters in Jem's handwriting. With a deep breath, she got out of the old Chevy truck that Jem had bought before they had even started dating. Approaching the church the doors opened and Tessa pulled down her veil in an attempt to hide her tears. Throughout the ceremony Tessa struggled her hardest to hold it together until the trumpets started to play softly and she started to come undone. Knowing she wouldn't be able to get through the rest of the service she let her mind wonder again.
Memories flooded Tessa's mind and she let them, for they were happy memories of better times in her life. Like Jem carrying her over the threshold of their new home, placing her down gently onto her own feet, and then them kissing each other as if the moment they stopped the other might disappear. After that the days seemed to almost blur together, but in a good way, because they were so happy. Chasing each other around the house, making a mess out of the kitchen, going on long drives with Tessa sitting in the middle beside Jem, laying in the bed of his truck looking at the stars in each other's arms, so many wonderful moments together. They had been happy and she couldn't remember any time they had been upset with each other for longer than a few minutes. And then four months after their wedding came the day he was to be deployed and Tessa stood in the airport watching the plane take off with Jem on it to fight in some desert. She remembered every day that they were able to Skype each other and how excited she would be when a letter would come in the mail, promising he would do everything in his power to make it back home to her.
Without were biding, Tessa's grief came back at the last thought. It wasn't far. They were supposed to raise a family and grow old together. But now all she could ever think about was how that wasn't going to happen and how every voice she heard was telling her that he wasn't coming back. Tessa didn't understand how it could all be real; surely it was just some terrible dream. Some nightmare that she couldn't wake up from.
She was brought back to reality as someone's hand touched her should gently. Tessa looked up and saw that it was Will, Jem's best friend. They had been so close they were practically brothers. Much to Tessa's relief the preacher started to pray and Tessa folded her hands tightly. He asked that the Lord lift up Jem's soul and to mend the pain and anguish that was in everyone's hearts. Then everyone stood up from where they sat and sang the saddest song that Tessa had ever heard. Even though she had a feeling she may have heard the song before, but she couldn't remember. All she did know was that it would forever be associated to this dreadful day.
Tessa started to tremble as the preacher continued on after the song and was a little relieved when Will grabbed her arm and kept her from collapsing. When the preacher was done three marines folded up the flag that had been lying across the cold white casket and one of them presented it to her. He looked at her with sorrow in his eyes as she took it from him with trembling hands and hugged it to her for dear life. Then the guns started to go off and Tessa had to force herself from flinching and when the last one went off and rang throughout the silence of the day she had to keep herself from breaking down again as her heart, once again, started to ache.
Then slowly, people placed flowers that they had brought, or been provided, on the top of the casket. Tessa just stood their mournfully staring at it, trying to breathe even though that was a nearly impossible task. Then, not being able to take it anymore, Tessa took a few steps forward and placed her hand hesitantly on the cold, smooth surface. She then threw her arms across it and placed her head in her arms and sobbed.
It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It really wasn't. Not in a million years would she have thought that Jem would be stolen from her so quickly. How she wished she could go back to the day when that black suburban had rolled to a stop in front of her drive and a man in uniform had walked up to her door and told her that Jem had been killed in combat. How she wished she would wake up soon to find out it was all just a terrible dream. He was only going to be gone for six months and then he would be home again. Tessa only had to wait out two more weeks and she would be waiting at the airport, waiting to through herself into Jem's loving arms. Only two more weeks, that was all, when that terrible black vehicle of grief had stopped in front of their house.
Tessa ached to wake up to find Jem home and safe and sleeping peacefully beside her. She longed to have those beautiful eyes' gaze on her, to run her fingers through his silky hair, to have him hold her in his strong arms, to see his smile and hear his laugh, to her him say her name, and to listen to him play his violin. Tessa was supposed to have the next sixty to seventy years to live her life with Jem. They'd barely had a year together. How was that even possible?
Surely all of this was just a dream. Because it had to be, right? Even with everyone saying he wasn't coming home all of this couldn't be real. There was no way it could be real.
"This is just a dream." Tessa whispered to the cold surface her head was resting on. Even though deep down she knew that is wasn't, she knew that her Jem was gone and he wasn't coming back. But a part of her just wasn't ready to accept it and therefore she couldn't, because maybe, just maybe if she believed hard enough she would wake up and Jem wouldn't be gone. He wouldn't be dead. He would be alive and well right by her side. Tessa knew her denial wasn't good, that it was only making things worse for her, but she couldn't help herself. Because when she got back to that lonely house full of memories it would have to be true and Tessa couldn't take it. So again and again she said it, because she so desperately wanted it to be true.
"This is just a dream."
So I was going to stop here, but I wasn't completely happy with it and I wanted to write more about it so I decided to make a second part and that turned into being a second chapter. So yeah. I hope you liked this and I hope you like the next chapter as well…..