Disclaimer: All rights to Frozen belongs to Disney.
I have permission to use the cover art from the awesome artist A-KA! tumblr~akapost
The first time it happened, Anna had almost mistaken it for a dream.
She had been running.
Her strides were long and light, and she giggled as she twirled once, twice, and sprang forward down the great halls of the castle.
It had been too long since her smile had shone so freely and her laughter rang loud. The grey spell that recently fell upon the castle lifted, and it visibly brightened at the presence of the happy princess. The young girl basked in this feeling. It felt familiar, comforting. It reminded her of warm memories; memories of laughter, of snow and ice, of being happy.
It reminded her of Elsa.
Her stride faltered a step, and she slowed to a stop, troubled over the sudden feeling of loss.
Elsa had locked herself away recently, and the distance hurt Anna. She needed the other girl. This time apart was distressing, and it didn't sit well with her; not when memories of them being so happy teased at her loneliness.
Her feet fell back into a run when she remembered why she felt so happy. Today was her birthday. But it wasn't just that. Today was her chance to see her sister. Anna hardly cared that she was turning 6, and she didn't care about the presents. No, she was excited because today Elsa would come out to see her.
Whatever drove Elsa to shut her out would be forgiven today, and they could go back to how they were before.
Happy.
With that in mind she grinned. Hope blossomed in her chest as she surged forward. Her thunder from earlier returned as she raced down the halls, and made her way straight towards Elsa's room.
"Elsa!" She sang, reaching out to knock on the door. The thought of seeing her sister filled her with excitement and she buzzed from it.
"Elsa, come out and play!"
The young girl swung her arms back and forth at her sides, trying to keep from knocking again. If Elsa were in there, she would've been more than aware of her presence by now. The shuffling she heard on the other side confirmed that thought.
The smile on her face widened and she called out again, "Today's special and I want to spend it with you."
Silence.
The pause behind the door worried her, and she began to doubt at the noise she heard earlier. But after a moment, a voice, small and smooth, finally filtered through.
"Anna... I'm busy, not today."
What? The young girl drew back at the words. The smile on her face slipped, and she felt it drag the corners of her mouth down with it.
"But," she pressed on, her voice going soft. "D-don't you know what today is?" She tried, she really did, but she couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice. A wetness gathered in her eyes and she sniffed wetly at the itch in her nose.
"Anna, please. Go away."
The voice was strained and quiet, but Anna heard it clearly. She winced at the painful tug her heart gave at the rejection.
She hates me. The thought forced its way into her young mind. That was the only explanation she could think of; the only reason that would explain the distance. She couldn't even pin point the reason behind it.
She loved Elsa, and Elsa hated her.
It wasn't fair.
An ache swirled in her chest; feeling foreign and unpleasant. It drummed a painful beat in her chest that had her clutching to the fabric just above her heart. "You're not Elsa," she said. The words were harsh, but the ache in her chest forced them out. She couldn't stop them.
"Elsa loves me!" Again, her chest spoke.
A sob, loud and wet, forced its way out of the young girl. The sound trailed after her as she spun around and tumbled back down the halls of the castle. It struck hard at the walls, and shook the floor beneath her.
The fiercest of it collided with a door, and slipped under. It rose up and quickly surrounded the girl who lay crumpled on the other side.
"Anna," she called out weakly, swiftly releasing a sob of her own. Her body trembled and she slumped heavily against the door in front of her.
"I'm sorry."
The sun light spilling in through the window caught Anna's eye as she ran. She winced, blinded a moment, before her feet caught beneath her and she tumbled forward. The air rushed out of her lungs as her body fell heavy against the wooden floor.
The fall was hard.
Hard enough for a loud thud to echo down the halls, and violent enough to shake the dust loose from the rafters. Stars danced across her vision as she laid there a moment, dazed. Her head hurt, but that was ok. She was happy for the distraction. Anything that drove away the rejection she felt was more than welcomed. Even if that distraction came with an ache that pounded at her head.
She reached a hand up to lightly touch at the tender flesh and flinched. A bruise would most definitely be there tomorrow. A bruise, big, and purple, and ugly; something her mother would throw a fit over. She didn't mind though. The pain she felt, it was being smothered, smothered by warm splashes of sunlight across her face.
The warmth.
It confused her a moment at how foreign it felt. Her eyes lidded, nearly falling shut as she welcomed its comfort. She smiled when it fell from her face and spread outward, filling the rest of her body. It drove away the aches and the pain, and in their stead was a warm, sleepy feeling. A far away part of her would've worried at the sleepiness, but that part was distant, too far for her to reach out to, and too far for it to matter now.
A flicker of white caught her attention, and her eyes quickly drew to a little speck of dust falling from the rafters. Anna watched in a daze as it floated down softly, side to side, slowly approaching the ribbons of sunlight that filtered in through the window.
The window. She thought slowly, distractedly.
It was open.
Her eyes flickered back to the little speck the moment it fell into the light, and she marveled at the sight it made. The sun spilled into it; filling it. It filled it with a glow so strong that it shimmered and gleamed. This glowing spec was quickly joined by another, and another, and hundreds more as dust continued to rain down from the rafters. Each new piece glowed white, and hot, and bright as they fell.
The space above her filled with falling light, and it looked as if hundreds of stars were raining down on her.
No, Anna decided with a lazy grin, not stars. To her it looked like something ten times more wondrous, something a hundred times more beautiful.
To her, it looked as if it were snowing.
Her eyes fell shut at the thought and she wondered over the sudden wave of comfort.
A gasp sounded through the air and footsteps quickly made their way towards the fallen girl. Anna felt a new warmness surround her as arms gently took hold and lifted her into a firm embrace.
Anna fell against the warmth, feeling safe in it. The woman tightened her hold in response.
Anna slowly opened her eyes and her vision filled with hues of sparkling blue and shining gold. She lifted her gaze higher and saw the eyes of her mother. Her lip quivered, and she sank back into the older woman, burying her face against the shoulder in front of her. She let loose a cry, not fully realizing that she was being held in a stranger's embrace. The warmth she felt from her was familiar though, and Anna clung to it desperately.
"E-Elsa hates me," the girl sobbed out.
The woman tensed at the remark. A worried look settled onto her face before she moved to stand with the girl tucked safely in her arms. She reached a hand up, hesitated, then laid it flat against the girl's back. She rubbed soothing circles against it, trying to offer comfort as best she could.
"Anna," she called gently after a moment, willing the young girl to listen. "Elsa doesn't hate you." She turned her head and murmured against the girls hair softly, trying not to upset the child, "She loves you more th.."
"No!," the young girl interrupted, with a voice that was loud and wet.
"No," she repeated again softer. "If she did, then she would be here right now. Next to me. She'd be here and we'd be happy," Anna whispered, suddenly tired. Her grip on the woman weakened slightly.
The words were sharp and regret quickly washed over the older woman's features. She drew the girl closer again, and a feeling of despair filled her. She didn't like this. She didn't like the sight of the young girl crying, or the sound of her sobs. This kind of pain was familiar to her, and with her alone it would stay. She refused to allow Anna to feel any of it.
"Anna. Listen, please." The bundle in her arms hiccuped once, but said nothing. "She does love you. Please believe that. Give her time and she'll prove it to you."
Her voice was a melody that Anna sunk into. Her eyes drooped at the sound of it. She grabbed a tiny fistful of the woman's dress to ground herself, desperately trying to stay in the moment.
"But, but why won.."
"Anna," the woman called out softly, interrupting the girl this time. She pulled away a bit to look at her, hoping the girl would do the same.
But the young girl didn't budge. She didn't want to. Not when she just realized that she hadn't felt this loved in forever. She felt loved by her parents, yes, but this was different. This was the love she needed, and she didn't understand why.
"Anna, look at me. Please."
Anna started at the sound. It was soft and sad and... familiar.
She pulled back and rubbed at the tears in her eyes. When she opened them again, she saw a loving pair gazing back, patient and kind. She stared, confused a moment. She knew those eyes. She knew who they belonged to, and that person wasn't here. That person was locked away safely on the other side of the castle.
Right?
"E-Elsa?" she asked slowly, unsure. Her eyes traveled over the woman's face, confused at the form her sister stood in.
Her gaze slowly turned back towards the window; suddenly she remembered the first oddity. Again she saw that the window was open. She remembered that the windows had been ordered shut for months, and for months they stayed that way.
Until now.
Now they were open. They were opened big and wide; shining like a bright smile against the face of the wall. It welcomed in the sunshine that warmed the left side of her body.
Anna's gaze continued past the window, it traveled out beyond the castle walls, and slowly traced over the Fjord and the mountains around it. She found that her eyes were greeted with a sun that shone too brightly, with flowers that have blossomed too early, and with rolling hills that were too lush and too green for this time of year.
The sight was peculiar. Her brain couldn't make sense of it. Not when she knew for a fact that fall had surrendered to winter just the week before.
The woman holding Anna shifted and lightly brushed the tears from the young girl's face. Her hand then took hold of the girl's cheek and gently pushed against it, bringing her gaze back to her. She smiled at the curiosity and wonder that radiated from the girl and spoke again to reassure the child.
"Changes are taking place, Anna. For both you and Elsa," she said softly, her voice growing serious, "It may not seem like it now, but Elsa loves you very, very much."
Anna nodded, but remained quiet. She leaned back into the woman's embrace, believing every word. She forgot about the confusion that ran through her mind, and just listened to Elsa's voice. Her eyes once again grew heavy at the sound of it.
"Things will get better," the woman assured her in a whisper, "I promise."
The sadness Anna felt earlier seemed so far away now, as a she felt a warmness spread through her again. Anna smiled happily at the feeling, and let it fill her body. Her posture relaxed fully, and she melted into the woman's loving embrace. Sleep was gripping at her, willing her to surrender, but Anna fought against it stubbornly. She wanted to stay. This was what she'd been missing. This was the company that she so desperately wanted from her sister, and for the moment, she had it.
She couldn't let go now.
"I love you," Elsa whispered against her ear.
Anna's eyes fluttered and shut at the sound. Her voice… it was like a lullaby she couldn't resist. She felt her mind grow heavy, as a smile, gentle and soft, tugged at her lips. Those words were the final chorus to the song that lulled Anna to sleep.
She allowed her grip to lessen on the woken world, and finally, she let go.
The woman smiled down sadly at the sleeping child. The sight of Anna so small did little to surprise her. No, she had learned of this little quirk of her's not too long ago, and she quickly learned to treasure it. She savored these moments, short as they were, and now thought of them as opportunities; opportunities that allowed her to amend past mistakes and to be there for Anna.
A fondness filled her heart at the sight in her arms, and she lingered another moment to run gentle fingers though the girl's hair. This was the smallest form that Anna had come to her in, and she giggled at the chubby cheeks and tiny hands.
A pair of eyes, wide and confused, flashed through her mind, and she realized then, that this was the first time that Anna must have traveled. Time had granted her the freedom to wander from one memory to the next, unhindered. And this was the first moment that Anna found herself free of the binds that were held so firmly on everyone else.
This was the first time she strayed from her own time line and stepped blindly into another.
Elsa's hold on the girl tightened, thankful that she had come across the small child when she had. The anxiety she felt upon first learning of Anna's ability was still very much alive. Nothing could stop her from constantly worrying for the girl's well being. Anna was the one thing she truly cared about in this world, and she couldn't bare the thought of anything happening to her.
Most of the time Elsa would be there, Anna assured her one day; waiting for her, making sure she stayed safe.
But… there were other moments, Elsa recalled her sister saying, moments were she wasn't.
And that thought terrified her.
She shivered when her mind went back to a night a few weeks prior; the night where Anna had silently slipped into her room and awoke her. She probably hadn't meant to, Elsa realized, but a body suddenly pressed along the length of hers had startled her so harshly, so effectively, that the blanket in her hands had frozen over and shattered in the tightness of her grasp. Relief, thankfully, was quick to come when her eyes opened to fiery red hair and dotting freckles.
Of course it was Anna. That relief was short lived however when she noticed that the younger woman was trembling.
She was crying.
Anna had confessed that night; sobbing and clutching at her, that there were indeed moments— dark frightening moments where Anna found herself alone— alone in a place she didn't recognize, without Elsa, and scared.
Fear once again gripped at Elsa and a panic overcame her. She tried desperately to force the feeling down and the thought away. Now was not the time to place blame on herself. She had plenty of time to do so later.
Anna was in her arms now, and she was safe. That's what mattered. That's all that mattered.
But she was so young, Elsa thought worriedly, not being able to help herself. She wondered again how her sister managed to keep this a secret for so long.
Her gaze saddened and her heart dropped when a sudden thought filled her mind. Not that I ever gave her the chance to tell me, she thought bitterly. Guilt fell upon her again, when she remembered the years she had shut Anna out.
The few months after the Great Thaw had given them the chance to grow closer again, to mend broken bonds, but moments like these served as a reminder— a reminder that she had never suffered alone all those years, and a reminder that she was a fool to believe so. Her gaze traveled back down to the small child.
She had so much to make up to Anna.
Elsa adjusted her hold, and pressed a kiss lightly to the girls temple; a silent promise that everything would be alright. She then moved to sit below the open window, making sure to keep her movements gentle and her feet light. Once settled and comfortable, Elsa waited. She knew these moments never lasted long, and so she waited for the past to once again reach out for the young girl.
She waited for the past to notice the absence and miss Anna; miss her like she was missing hers now.
Briefly, she wondered where her Anna was, and prayed that she was in a safe place. Elsa quickly shook the thought from her head. Of course Anna was safe.
She had to be.
She huddled the young girl closer, treasuring the moment. She relaxed fully and took comfort in the warmth that always came with having Anna close.
Author's Note:
So this is my first fic. Woo! yay!
The transition from reader to writer was as difficult as I imagined. I realized that when it took me forever and a day to write this. The inspiration came from the book/movie, "The Time Traveler's Wife," and I started writing with a very vague idea of where I wanted to take this fic. Now that I've gotten this first chapter written out, I've come to realize that it would be very difficult to actually keep things organized and following a straight line of thought.
I don't know if I should just consider this a one shot, or make it into a series of short stories? Again, I'm not sure. Suggestions?
Ok, that's all I got. Thanks for reading!