It had been a weight on Kili's mind, that when the time the reclaiming of Erebor had come to pass, whether or not he lived or died, would he still go down through generations as a hero, or just another fool who had tempted his fate with the beast under the mountain.
"Of coarse we will Kili, people will tell their children, and then they'll tell their children, and we'll live forever. Besides, I'm sure we'll have children of our own someday, and they will always tell of us and our heroic deed," Fili carried a chair over to where Kili was sitting crossed-legged on the ground and began combing Kili's long, straggled hair. "Do you ever brush this?"
"I don't need to," Kili snapped, and Fili let out a mocking laugh. Taking three strands of hair he began to weave them around each other, repeating the process he had perfected since childhood of braiding the younger dwarfs hair. It was a calming strategy, almost like a stress reliever, and it took away his and Kili's thoughts for a while, at least until Fili had encountered another huge bundle of knots in the dark hair and was forced to brutally untangle them.
"And when was the last time you washed this, brother? When was the last time you bathed at all? We'll be leaving Ered-Luin soon, do you really want to leave in this state? The Gods would laugh!" Fili pestered.
"Be silent!" His brothers words had frustrated him. Fili tugged at his hair and Kili let out a yelp of pain. They sat in silence whilst the elder dwarf finished tying back the braids with a silver clip, a gift from their mother at birth. They each had one, both identical and they wore them everyday and everywhere. Inscribed on the back of each was their names, and under theirs was their mothers, Dis. Kili had not known his mother for long, he couldn't recall any memories from her time with him. Fili, however, had many. He remembered of the times she would take him out into the woods and they would hunt for rabbits and boars. His mother had the tusks of his first kill hung on the dining room wall, and they were still their to this very day, untouched and dusty.
Fili also remembered the day of Kili's birth. It was a mid-winters night and the screams of his mothers pain stayed with him, but when it was all over he entered the room to find he had a new brother, with dark eyes to match his hair. It was a moment he would never forget. When he first held his brother he had never loved anything more in his life, and had sworn to protect him until his very last day, until his very last breath.
"Every night I sung you to sleep brother, every night I cradled you until the dreams consumed you," Fili told Kili, and Kili remembered. Kili remembered that when he was young, Fili was always by his side, always there when his mother was away, and when she finally never could be there.
"I know, Fili. You were always there for me,"
"And I always will be, don't forget that. No matter what happens on this journey I will always protect you,"
Fili stood and walked to the bed where he had a bag packed with food for his journey to The Shire. Although he had not said a word about it to Kili, he had worried that they really wouldn't make it out alive, and that somehow he wouldn't be there to protect him, and Kili's death would be his fault. He would never stop blaming himself if Kili had fell in battle, he would never forgive himself for his brother pain. The thoughts had dwelled on him, sending him into moments of self doubt, wondering if he should confront Thorin and convince him not to let Kili come with them. Then there were other times when he would think of himself returning home, not in mind, but in body. If he returned home dead Kili would never forgive him.
Kili followed behind his brother, not saying a word as he fiddled with his bag. Kili didn't think about the dangers that lay ahead, but only of the present, and his time now with Fili was soon to be over. He wrapped his arm around his brother and pulled him close. He was warm and his dirty blonde hair fell around Kili's face. They fell down on the bed and embraced each other more so, with Fili's hands around Kili's neck and heads rested on each others. Kili leaned in and gave his elder brother a kiss, and Fili didn't hesitate. Their lips touched gently and Fili breathed in his brothers scent, running his hands through his newly braided hair and weaving his fingers through the knots and tangles.
"Brother," Kili broke away and Fili watched him with lustful eyes. They knew what they were doing would never be accepted, and that was making Kili feel uneasy. He loved his brother, but he was afraid of what the other dwarfs would think of them. Fili knew what he was thinking and leaned in and kissed him on the head. They lay in silence, the sound of breath heavy and the air musty.
"It'll be all right," Fili broke the silence, "How about I sing you a song?"
Kili smiled and nodded. Fili remembered all the songs he used to sing to him as a child, his favourite of all was of the defeat of Smaug. They got comfortable in the bed and Fili began.
"Under the mountain, fierce and red,
The dragon lay, rested his head,
Until the dwarfs played hefty tricks,
Throwing stones and mud and sticks.
The dragon awoke from his deep slumber,
Refusing to move, he'd guard his plunder,
The dwarfs would watch with envy eyes,
And pray to the Gods above the Skies.
Then one night the dragon lay,
The time had come for the price to be paid,
The dwarfs all creeped in from the caves,
Wielding axes, knives and staves.
The beast did not know the dwarfs were here,
Little did he hear with such big ears,
Now the time of dwarfs was upon you,
Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu .
The cut, they slashed, they hurled, they fought,
And with such power and great distraught,
The dwarfs all conquered the one life,
Blood stained clothes and weary knives.
The world outside would know the tale,
Of the great dwarfs who'd never fail,
Not one would suffer sorrow no more,
For theirs was the Kingdom of Erebor."
Fili looked down at Kili who was fast asleep and he lay there with him all through the night. He would always be there for Kili, and he would always protect him, no matter what.