Ok I know I haven't updated my other story, but I will. This is in my head so I had to do it. I know this will never happen in the soap but this is about letters between Lauren and joey, while laurens in rehab. There will also be some drama.

Chapter1

Dear joey,

I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye to you, face to face but I couldn't, it would have be to hard. I'm in rehab, getting the help I need. I realise now how big of a problem, I have with alcohol. When my counsellor asked me what was making me drink I told her. At first I found it hard to open up, but I didn't and it felt great to get it of my chest, it was like a weight had been lifted of my shoulders. Most of my problem was put to my mum and dad, the mess up my life. I told my counsellor about you, don't blame yourself. Its not your fault I'm in here, its mine.

Mum says I had a lucky escape, and then she said, I need to get my life back on track and start making decision, I don't even know what she meant bye, start making decision, but I'll guess I'll find out soon. Anyway I want you to know that I'm okay and you don't need to worry.

Most of my life is a mistake. My dad having affair after affair and me keeping quite about it. My mums cancer, I made a mistake and told nobody. Me ruining one christmas by video recording my dad having a, let's just say, fling with my older brothers wife, then giving it to the said, older brother. Me running my dad over and ending up in care for awhile. But there was one thing in my life that wasn't a mistake, and that's you.

Lucy told me you and her were a thing. I knew it was a matter of time before you were in her bed. I can't say I'm not sad, because I am. But I shouldn't be, me and you ain't together anymore. I want you to be happy joey, and if lucy makes you happy then be with her. I need you to know I wasn't lying though about lucy spiking my drink, she did do it. I wouldn't pick drink over you. Jesus I wouldn't pick anything over you.

I miss you so much. I miss seeing you everyday. I miss being able to kiss you, make love to you. I miss being able to walk hand and hand though the streets. I miss waking up next to you every morning. But most of all I miss just being with you.

I'm sorry I wasn't the girlfriend you once knew. I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I made you feel like it was you fault. I'm sorry I push you away, when you tried to help. But I'm not sorry for falling in love with you. I did love you, god I still do. But when we're together, it just leads to heartache. So I think we should both go our separate ways. When I get out of here, I'm going to stay with mum. I'm not coming back to the square joey. I want to. But it holds bad memorise and it would kill me to see and that bitch together everyday. I'm going to move on with my life, even if your in it or not.

Joey live the rest of your life with someone you love and you won't break their heart.

This is me saying me saying goodbye. We're never going to see each other again. And I know I will never truly love someone as much as I love you joey. Tell al I miss her like crazy. And tell whitney I really I'm sorry for kissing tyler.

Goodbye joey. I will always love you.

Love Lxx

Please R&R. Let me know if I should carry on. I mite do one or two more but it depends on how much everyone likes it.