The dream frightened me more than anything. It wound in and out of my consciousness like a basilisk, forcing fear into every inch of my body. I tried to fight back, I really did, but nothing could stop me from crying out, from revealing my unconscious terrors to the safe and awake.
This is when I felt a presence at my side.
The person standing a mere pace away took my hand and enveloped it in their own. The warmth of reality pulled me from the dream world and I shakily open my eyes and stared into the hazel eyes of James Potter.
Shit.
He lent over me and kissed my forehead. It was the softest of touches that sent shivers running through my body like lightening, but I still cringed away. I did not want this. I pulled away, Sank further into the soft pillows of my bed and closed my eyes.
As I felt the warm hand slowly leave mine another dream pulled at my consciousness. It was different from the last, It didn't contain any of the worries of a new school year, just happiness and the faint sound of hooves in the background...
There was a loud buzzing in my ears that hurt my head. I rolled over onto my side and pulled the covers over higher to try and block it out, but it still went on, buzzing louder and louder until I was forced to open my eyes and stare up into the red canvas of my four poster bed.
"Crap," I muttered to myself as I pushed back my curtains and grabbed my wand so that I could remove the charm I placed on the bed to wake me up. It took a few tries as the buzzing had grown unbearably loud but once it had stopped I stood up and nearly fell over as the memory of James returned. His face was still painted behind my eyelids as though someone had imperiused me to think of him. I shook my head to clear it and waltzed into the bathroom, Happy to find myself waking up at school instead of being shaken awake by an angry Petunia looking for some item of clothing she needed.
When I returned to the dorm from the shower the three other beds in the dorm were still inhabited and the occupants breathing heavily, I guess I'm the only one who's happy to have a reason to get up.
Checking my watch as I brushed my teeth, I realized that it was already nearing eight thirty and that breakfast would almost be over by the time the others were up. My first instinct was to open the curtains of everyones beds and let them be blinded by the bright morning light, but as it was the first day of term I decided to be a bit more creative. Putting a silencing charm over the dorm I placed my wand to my throat and said loudly,
"Good morning ladies, get your asses up or you don't get to eat until lunch," sounds of complaint came from all sides of the room as I scrambled to get back into bed and closed the curtains before the others could blame me.
Millie was the first up, sending an angry glance toward my bed as she stumbled into the bathroom. Then Alice almost ripped her curtains as she forced them apart and stormed over to my bed where she proceeded to tear apart my bed until I couldn't help myself and fell into fits of giggles.
"THIS IS NOT FUNNY LILIAN EVANS,' she screamed at me before walking straight into the locked bathroom door. Clutching her head in pain she screamed in frustration and went to fix her curtains.
After I had controlled my laughter and fixed my curtains that were also in shreds I went to wake the deafest of us all; Falling.
Falling Slowly is one of my best friends. She is as normal as me or you other than the fact that she was orphaned at the age of three and adopted into a muggle family. When she was eleven her muggle foster parents accidently let slip that she was adopted and she tried to commit suicide. By jumping off a cliff. Ok, um maybe she's not that normal.
Not knowing that she was magic, Dumbledore just happened to be about to give her the letter and saved her by softening her fall. She wanted to leave the muggle world behind completely so she changed her name to Falling Slowly because that is how she was saved or how she likes to put it, 'reborn as a witch'.
Oh and she's also a werewolf.
None of us know her real name and she doesn't want to say because she thinks we'll try and find out who her parents were and give her sympathy about their deaths, But I have a theory about that. I mean you don't just become a werewolf over night and Mr Greyback doesn't just bite, he eats. Ok, it was kinda mean to think that, them being her parents and all, but still, we know there is a possibility that he is behind some of the recent attacks and she is desperate to become an auror. She's probably even more qualified than the marauders and their 'Oh so perfect test scores'.
I pushed open her curtains and shook her gently so I wouldn't frighten her. This didn't work though, as she drew her wand from under her pillow and almost poked me in the eye with it. I moved her wand onto the table when her arm drooped causing her to almost drop it. Rolling onto her otherside, She chuckled.
"Remus, get off," She murmured under her breath and I stood up in shock.
"Ohmygod," I said as I realized who she thought I was,"Oh my god."
"Oh my god what, Morningface?" Millie said as she walked past the bed, Stopping when she noticed that I hadn't woken Falling yet.
"Gosh was she that tired,"
"Nope, but she sure has some explaining to do,"
"About what?"
"About the fact that she thinks I'm a Mr Remus Lupin," I almost interrupted what Falling said as Millie was stunned into silence.
"Remus, Shut Up."
We both started laughing at the same time. Between giggles Millie called Alice and she stared at us oddly as we clutched our sides.
When we had recovered and got dressed a rather sleepy Falling sat up and rubbed her eyes.
"Morning guys, Did I miss anything?"
"Breakfast," Millie answered as she got dressed.
"Oh and Remus," I said only to Millie and Alice and there answering chuckles followed me down the stairs as I ran to try and salvage some breakfast for our dorm.
When I walked through the common room Sirius Black was sitting on one of the many high backed chairs, his grey eyes staring into the flames. I was about to approach when I realized who this was, Sirius was one of the four people who had made my life living hell for the last 6 years. Together, He and the marauders had managed to make almost everyday of my life a joke by pulling immature pranks on me and the seriously annoying James Potter asking me out at every chance he got. Even though I had said no every time. God, Think of the devils...
"Good morning Evans my darling, your up early this fine day," This completely inaccurate greeting resulted in a loud chuckle coming from Peter Pettigrew's direction and James looked at him in annoyance as if he had ruined his chance of talking to me.
"I'm glad your boyfriend's find you funny, Potter, but I am in a hurry and I am NOT your darling,"
"Oh," He muttered as he walked up to me and took my hand, "But Evans I was wondering if you would care to join m-"
"NO," I interrupted him, pulling my hand away, "for the last time Potter, No."
I ran out the portrait hole, hoping that I would escape the marauders for the rest of the day.
I should have known that I wouldn't be that lucky.
All four of us were walking slowly towards History of Magic, silently dreading the boring lectures that this year would bring when I heard a shout from behind.
"Oi! Evans," I turned around and was almost knocked over by the force of which James slammed into me.
"Get off me you git," I almost screamed into his ear as I struggled out from beneath him.
"But Evans," He wined in the most pathetic voice ever.
"But Evans What?"
"But Evans, You and your almighty head girlyness has to sign a slip for my teams quidditch practice." I narrowed my eyes and stood almost nose to nose with him,
"What made you think I was head girl, Potter."
He stared at me as I caught of guard then shrugged,
"This," He said as he lent towards me and kissed me on the cheek before running down the corridor towards his fast retreating friends.
I exhaled loudly and turned around to the startled expressions of my three friends.
"Your not head girl?"
"Your not head girl!"
"Oh my god, Lily who got it?" Inquired Falling, the only one of the three who had the brain capacity to think in these situations. The other two were still staring at me, completely stunned.
I suddenly giggled loudly and raised an eyebrow,
"Oh, so what your saying is you tricked potter?"
"Bloody hell, of course I tricked him, Duh. How stupid do I look." I slapped my forehead in mock stupidity and walked into Professor Flitwich's classroom, barely aware that Potter was fuming at me in disbelief. Revenge was sweet, even if it was easy.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of classes and reunions with classmates and friends I had only glimpsed at the feast the night before. By the time we were sitting at the Gryfindor table waiting for the feast to begin I was thoroughly tired out from repeating, 'Oh my summer was fine, spending lots of quality time with my sister.' Many people didn't notice my sarcasm and simply congratulated me on making head girl, but those who did stared at me oddly as if they would have enjoyed spending time with their siblings, well maybe they would, maybe they have normal families, lucky them.
We had just started pudding when Remus detached himself from the group of admirers surrounding the marauders and came up to where we were sitting.
"Hello Ladies," He said, blowing his golden locks out of his eyes, completely oblivious to the affect he was having on the female population of the Gryfindor table. I noticed by this point Falling was trying to hide her red face behind some strawberry ice cream, without much success. Remus just carried on, even though she had acquired a large blob to her nose.
"Congrats on getting Head Girl Lily, I knew you wou-,"
"Don't expect me to sign anything for you, Go ask Madam Hooch." I snapped at him, earning a few angry glares from the girls surrounding me.
"Oh no, don't worry 'bout that, James already got the Head Boy to, you know Amos, right?
"Yeah," I sighed, boy did I know Amos Diggory, he was the thickest boy, No, scrap that thickest creature, I had ever met and I had no idea how he got Head Boy.
After discussing prefect rounds with Remus, He left. Falling removed her head from behind the now melting stack of ice cream and sighed dreamily,
"I wish I could keep a head round him," she said rubbing her eyes and sighing again, "One day I'm gonna end up getting a detention for staring so much." We rolled our eyes in unison and walked up the marble staircase to the common room, planning games of wizards chess and exploding snap which we would play in the common room.
Later that night the dreams returned, with terrifying strength. I dreamt of unforgivables firing round the castle with me standing there, helpless and unable to help. A masked woman was torturing Alice and a boy our age, she screamed in delight and then turned to me, a killers glint in her eye.
"Hello Lily Evans, We need the child, the boy, GIVE US THE BOY."
The voice grew louder until I sat up, gasping in my bed, with the crazed woman's words echoing through my head. A rushing noise jolted me back to reality, my curtains fluttered slightly as if caught in a breeze and I could have sworn there had been someone standing over me.
I fell back onto my pillows with a sigh and let my eyelids slowly droop and my thoughts slowed down until, once again I returned to the world of dreams.
The sunlight filtered through my eyelids, making my world turn blood red.
Red images floated through my mind, strong enough to give me a headache. I saw myself, hair brighter than usual and skin flushed with blood as though I had just run up the divination tower.
The reddened version of myself smiled at someone behind me, giving that person a look I could only call seductive, a look that had definitely never been seen on my porcelain face. I turned just as a blob of jet black hair entered my vision and James Potter began walking faster towards this backwards version of myself.
He reached his destination and placed a hand on my back, rubbing it in circles that I could not feel, tracing the shape of my faraway cheek and finally kissing the lips that were not mine. Suddenly I was jealous, jealous of this girl who looked like me but got all the attention that used to be mine. Jealous of the person who had finally pulled James out of his fascination with me, but had also finally given him what he wanted. Jealous of the person who used my body in a way that made it wrong. I began running towards her, stretching out my arm to pull them apart just as James leant down to whisper something into an ear that was frighteningly familiar.
"Lily," He moaned my name in a way that scared me, his voice betraying his true feelings. It dripped with want, making my stomach do an assortment of summersaults that could probably win the olympics, but also it held love.
It was then that I realized that I had to save James, save him from the person that would lead to his demise. Save him from myself.
I began running again, but I tripped, fell into black oblivion, my fall giving me real pain and I opened my eyes to find myself lying on my stomach beside my bed with James Potter standing over me.
Again.
He reached down and touched my shoulder, worry in his eyes, but I could not look at that face. The face that had made me feel so alive. He made me feel this way even though I hated him, and this only made my anger grow.
I stood up and shoved away his hand, making to distance myself from him as much as possible, but his presence infected my mind, took over my thoughts. I looked up at his hurt expression and had a sudden desire to wipe that sadness off his face, I hated that expression even more than I hated the boy standing in front of me. I stepped towards him because I needed to see him smile in his big-headed way, anything was better than the hurt that dominated his features, but I was Lily Evans, the one that had rejected him for all of these years and I could do nothing to comfort him. I slumped back down onto my bed ashamed of the hate that I have to pretend to feel.
He turned and left the dorm, continuing the silent exchange. I saw him smile sadly, but the bitterness radiated of him like waves.
Crashing against me and pulling me under,
Drowning me in guilt.
I woke up on top of my twisted covers. Sunlight splashing across my face through a crack in my curtains. I pulled my legs up into a fetal position and slipped under the cold covers, hoping to sleep away the memory of what I had done.
A few hours later someone was shaking my shoulders and shouting at me in a worried voice. I squinted my eyes open and stared up at Molly Weasly, Millie's best friend who had graduated the year before.
"Lily, Lily? Are you there? Com'on hun, wakey wakey." She pulled her hands off my shoulders as I sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
"Gosh hun, I thought you were dead for a second there."
"Molly?" I croaked in a flat voice and hoping I looked pleased to see her.
"Thats right, LilyPie, These baboons were so worried after their Old fashioned - water on the forehead didn't work and you slept through morning cla-"
"I did what?" I screamed, standing up way to fast and bumping my head on one of the ornate posts of my bed. Molly purposely pushed me back onto the bed and shoved me back under the covers. Putting her hands on her hips in a very motherly way she said,
"Now listen here missy, I did not leave my first child with Arthur just to be interrupte-"
"You left a Baby with Arthur Weasly, are you mad?"
"No I am not mad, just married to the man, now get your Head Girl ass up before I make you." She turned around and called back up the stairs something about lunch but I didn't catch it.
I was too busy realizing who I had last watched walk down those stairs.
I would stop feeling guilty one day. I hope. Or at least I would stop thinking about his face when I pushed him away. The face that I so desperately wanted to touch, to make happy, the lips that I needed, not wanted, to kiss.
Hold up.
Did I just think that?
'Yes Lily, I think you did,' The voice in my head taunted.
Oh crap.
It dawned on me then where my thoughts had been heading while I had been lying here in my bed for the last few hours. I, me, Lily Evans had fallen for Him. Him, the person who I had vowed to hate forever. Oh merlin, I needed help, professional help.
Slowly, as though not to scare my fragile mind, which had gone into overload since a particular piece of thinking I had done recently, I stood up. Stretching my arms, I walked into the bathroom and stripped off, stepping into a warm and soothing shower. I still had half an hour until charms and I wasn't planning on walking into potions, still fully pajamared, and attempting to explain where I had been.
The water relaxed my muscles, letting me forget, briefly, what awaited outside the sunlit dorm. I turned off the steaming water and pulled on a cosy bathrobe and heating my hair with my wand until it was dry. As I opened the door I heard voices. Not friendly girlish voices that usually occupied the stairwell, but a rough and, well, the only way I could explain it was, annoyed.
As I padded softly towards the door the voices and the footsteps that had been accompanying them stopped. As though my walking had been the cause of their hold up. When I reached for the door handle I heard another voice,
"No," it was so soft I had thought I had imagined it until an arm wrapped around me.
Not only that but a firm, but soft hand, was placed upon my lips. It muffled the scream I had been about to release. Suddenly, a strong yet, surprisingly pleasant scent seemed to fill my surroundings, making my head fill with fog and my heart burst into staccato.
It was heaven, like chocolate dipped strawberries that had been dipped in champagne, pure heaven. I inhaled deeply, forgetting the worry that had originally dominated my mind and melting into the invisible mans embrace.
Wait.
Invisible?
Oh shit, Oh merlin, Oh Godric wearing pansy slippers, Invisible?
The marauders, it was rumored, had an invisibility cloak. A real one, we hadn't even started trying to make ourselves invisible yet so a cloak was the only way someone could be holding me, But. Completely. Not. There.
"Fuck," I muttered, trying to wiggle out of the strong hold. A male laugh made me freeze in my failing attempts.
"Well, It appears your Lily has worked it out and, as a plus side, learnt to cuss in the process." Another, quieter and higher pitched laugh followed this and a deep familiar voice that was really close to my ear, said,
"Wormy, Padfoot, Shut the hell up! We are trying to catch Snivellus and his cronies. So shut it."
"Snape?" I squeaked, sounding more terrified than I felt. The arm that had some how found its way around my waist, tightened at my voice and finally, I realized that I was being saved, not held captive.
"Alohomora!" A barely audible voice whispered and the dorm door sprang open. Two figures were standing in the tiny gap between the dorm and stairwell, peering in at the apparently empty scene of teenage life. The larger of the shadows stepped into the light and once again the arm surrounding me unconsciously tightened.
A boy of medium height stood between the door and us. His greasy black hair was draped over his almost-black eyes like old curtains and spots covered his pale face.
"Bella, come in, its safe."
"You never can be sure with these Gryfindors, can you Snape? There's always something or another that holds us up, luckily we had the stairs sussed, Sev." Bellatrix Le'strange said darkly, sauntering into the room and resting her chin on Snape's shoulder.
"Never can be su-."
"Don't call me Sev!" Snape growled, angrily pacing the room.
As he neared us I felt the cloak tighten around my shoulders and realized that the four others had started to back away. Following suit, our location suddenly registered in my mind and it dawned on me that we were steadily backing into the large vanity that Millie had filled with very expensive and loud muggle perfumes last year.
Before I could warn them four large teenage boys had backed strait into a wall of china with a huge crash and all inhabitants of the room had frozen.
As the last china bottle fell to the floor a wand I recognized so well that I could of told you the core and length from the smell was pointed to the space between my eyes.
"Wow," I thought, my blank mind beginning to process the scene, "I'm probably about to participate in my first proper duel and I can't even remember that we have noses in the gaps between our eyes, huh, I really do well under pressure."
The wand was almost touching my face when Bella said,
"Snape leave it. Its probably just a trap, someone will be here any sec, Come on." She turned and left and after a few seconds Snape followed her down the stairs.
A minute passed as we waited for them to jump into the room cackling and shout "Gotcha!" But they never came. Someone behind me pulled off the cloak and four male laughs echoed around the room.
"Well that was eventful." Serius commented, causing Peter to fall into fresh giggles, his face turning pink.
I had forgotten the friendship I had had with snape, all those years ago when we had been first years. The stress of seventh year had almost wiped my memories of him and they came rushing back suddenly, the emotion of it almost knocking me to my feet. The laughter from the four boys had subsided and I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Lily?"James asked, the worry so obvious in his voice that I wanted to crumple right there from the need to hug him and tell him I was Ok.
It was silent now, the atmosphere in the room changing completely as the three other boys realized that I had been staring into James's eyes for what felt like hours. I leaned in, savouring the strawberry chocolate scent of his skin, but he turned and walked off, following his friends down the stairs.
I stood there, just watching the place where he had last stood. I was imagining his face when Millie and Alice walked in the room chatting. They looked around the room and paused in shock, the sight of me standing statue still in the middle of a messed up room in front of a cabinet of smashed glass must of scared them.
"I can explain, I-"
"Lily! What the frick happened to all my perfume, some of those bottles were still half full y'know, you didn't need to recycle them so soon." At my revulsion to the many odd smells drifting round Hogwarts, Millie had promised to let me smash up the bottles when they were done with them, remembering this I smiled apologetically.
"Yeah, I'm sorry Mill I guess I just got carried away when one smashed in my hand."
While this small exchange had gone on Alice had wondered over to the vanity and was poking at the remains.
"I don't think our Lily is telling the truth."
"Of course I am, don't be silly. What do you think was in here, a stampede of elephants?" I rushed.
"I don't think the question is what, Lily, but whom?" She said, lifting up a small piece of red and gold cloth with the initials J.P embroidered neatly onto the corner. I looked at my feet sheepishly and tried to work out how Alice had gotten so clever.
When I looked up I thought I put on my most innocent face but staring back at me from the cracked vanity mirror was a very, very guilty looking tomato.
While I finished my treacle tart at dinner, Falling skipped up to the table and sat down next to me. There was an unmistakably happy grin on her face and she sat there for a moment, swaying.
"Falling, Falling?" I said, trying to remove the glazed expression from her face by waving my hands at her. She suddenly looked at me with that annoyingly joyous grin.
"Hun, I know you don't have to rip your clothes off and turn into a wet dog for another three weeks, but seriously you need to tell me why your happy or at least tone it down to the average mood of a 17 year old who has just realized she has a divination essay due in tomorrow about the possibilities of predictions changing."
"Oh Lily, you'll never guess what happened to me." She exclaimed this in such a dreamy voice that I could swear she was high.
"What, what happened to you Falling? Seriously I have to catch up on a whole half a day of work now, so don't tell me you found another muggle Tv guide 'cos I can get you millions of tho-"
"No, Its not that, even though I did, but I was invited to a party tonight and not just any party. A marauder party!" By this time she was practically bubbling with excitement.
"Uh, let me guess. Not just anybody invited you, it just happened to be the positively charming Mr. Remus Lupin, did it? Because y'know we're always invited to those things what with the star of the show being infatuated with the way my hair ripples or something."
So that conversation is what lead me to be sitting in the Gryfindor common room at 7 o'clock surrounded by my to cool to be drunk classmates. The room had been decorated with odd shaped sequins the size of my head that had been chucked everywhere. Later I had found out that they were supposed to be quaffles but still, not every one is obsessed with quidditch. Well, except 99% of the male inhabitants of Hogwarts.
"Lily, my smoochie doll, I knew you'd come." James sauntered up to us and put an arm around my bare shoulders, causing goose bumps to cover them.
"Stop with the pet names Potter, they're bad for your skin." I muttered, knowing what would happen if he didn't oblige.
"Oh, but sugar plums- Ow!" Falling's hand connected with his jaw and she left, forcing her way through the crowds.
"Don't say I didn't warn you." I shrugged out of his vague embrace and followed my friend through the throngs of sweaty, dancing people.
I found her standing at the drinks table that had been cunningly set up behind a huge sofa. She was downing a large bottle of firewhiskey and frowning at a girl that was flirting with Remus. I took the bottle from her hands and dragged her into the gap behind a tapestry.
"Falling, don't let it get to you. So what, he's still not your property. It doesn't matter how much you want him to be, you still gotta work for it."
"But I want him so bad Lily. It just feels right, like somethings pullling me towards him." She whispered the last bit so I could barely hear it but I still felt the determination in her voice.
"Come on 'Ling lets just enjoy ourselves, yeah?"
"Oi! Evans!"
Evans?
Who the hell calls me Evans? Especially when my name is fluffy bunny happy person and I like to prance around marshmallow fields, singing about hot chocolate and shortbre-
Oh, who am I kidding, I'm already awake. Why try and give myself happy dreams when I'm not going to be sleeping for another twelve hours.
Ah well, might as well see what Mr. wants.
I blinked open my right eye to see Sirius staring down at me.
"Do you think she's allive?" He asked someone else who I frustratingly couldn't see.
"Dunno Padfoot, maybe we should chuck cold water over her head or something." This annoyingly off screen person said.
Sitting up quickly and almost knocking Sirius's cocky grin off of his face. (regretting the creation of the word almost) I screamed into his ever present ear.
"Sirius Black, What the frick are you doing in my dorm, and I am seriously considering the 'or something' over here."
When my other eye opened I realized that Potter, Remus and good ol' petty were present.
Oh, crap.
I was wearing my 70's vintage (and I mean properly ripped up, not covering much vintage) Stones tee.
Apparently I wasn't the only one who had noticed what I had passed out in as Potter was staring open mouthed at me (or well more selectively, my chest) and Peter and Remus were stifling giggles over the look on his bright tomato red face.
Sirius, however, had the look on his face that meant; I'm going to say something cocky and your all going to like it,
"Why Evans," Oh my goody Merlin, I was right, "What beautiful evening attire you decided to grace our presence with."
"Why Blacky Wacky," (At this point I actually thumped him) "What a mucked up mind you have."
"Wait, Evening?"
"Uh, yeah, Its 19 hundred hours so get your lazy ass out of-"
I cut him off by standing up. Man I should really remember what I had been wearing. My Victoria's Secret panties with red and white polka dots and blue frills stared him in the face. I love them dearly and don't want to put them through Sirius's ogling.
Luckily, Him, Peter and Remus started backing away, their faces turing an actually quite pretty shade of beetroot. It was a shame though that Potter seemed rooted to the spot, his eyes slightly wider than normal from surprise.
I mean no offence, but he is James Potter, founder, editor and creator of your thing magazine and the reigning queen of fashion. The most 'experienced' boy in Hogwarts. Its not like he has never seen a half naked completely hung-over girl before. Is it?
After a minute or so of awkward silence, I coughed embarrassedly, my face probably an equally purple colour and, I hope, just as pretty.
His eyes snapped up to mine and if it was possible he blushed deeper.
"So, Jame, um…. I mean Frotter, yes, Potter, thats right, isn't it? Uh, you can follow your buddies right down those stai- Wait, How'd you even get up here?"
"Ani-" Peter started to mutter.
"Peter! What the fuck?"
James had snapped out of it instantly, as though his life was at stake. Muttering apologies they started back down the stairs, only to have the floor pulled out from under them.
Laughing to myself I slumped back on my bed and waited for the loud crash that would tell me three boys had just landed on a granite floor. After 5 minutes, (long staircase) and a rather large thump of bone on rock, I got up and wondered to the shower.
3 rather enthusiastic knocks on the door informed me of the presence of Millie and her extremely weak bladder. Oh dear, she must have returned from where ever she had been while she wasn't waking me up. Hmm, mild rant.
Anyway, as the knocks escalated into screams of pure rage, I showered leisurely, savoring each and every candy scented bubble. As the last body wash descended into the drain monsters lair, I heard a scream,
"Alohomora," the bathroom door flew open.
Luckily I was behind the pink and sparkly shower curtain.
"Lilly Evans, I need a fricking wizz, take your bloomin' time."
"Don't worry darling, I will," I muttered as I climbed out of the tub, securely wrapped in a huge bath towel as thick as my mom's carpet.
While Millie peed I picked my favorite PJ's out of the drawer. They were my old purple Superdry slouchys that clash amazingly with my hair and a DisneyLand Mickey Mouse hoody, complete with ears. Sigh, It was a new age of comfort.
The bed looked so inviting but I knew I had to clear something up before I could dream of peace. Humming tunelessly, I slid down the girl's spiral banister and almost landed on a nearby coffee table. Naturally I got a few stares so I tried not to blush as I stumbled toward the boys dorms.
As the last step of that bloody staircase passed under my feet, I swore - not a good sign. The dark doorway that said 'seventh years' on it in fancy writing loomed in front of me, like a portal to the underworld. I knew I couldn't sleep if I didn't do anything, but the thought of walking into a room occupied by a large quantity of teenage boys kinda scared me. Seriously, I get stage fright at the most inconvenient times.
I was just about to turn the brass handle when a voice sounded behind me.
"I'd suggest going in, because if you don't I might have to spill unnecessary blood in aid of my bladder."
Oops… Remus was standing behind me in a stance that suggested he had a great need for a toilet. I must have been looking at him funny because he said, "Sometimes I forget the effects of fire whiskey, Honestly, I have no idea how Sirius does it.
He barged past me and into the dorm, as the door swung shut I got a glimpse of James sitting on his bed reading the daily prophet. This was not getting easier.
"Come on in, Lily"
Balls
Well, now they know I'm here, perfect… Ugh, I am NOT going in, my subconsciousness shouted at me. I sniffed, one of the many annoying things I do when I'm upset with my self, and realized you can smell it from here. The sweet, sweet, disgusting scent of teenage boy. Merlin, how can girls be attracted to that?
Damn science!
While having this internal debate, the door was swung magically outward, and guess what. Yes, thats right. It hit me smack, dang, in the middle of my forehead. Great.
Stars erupted in my vision and four large silhouettes entered the doorway as everything went black.
"Its all you fault, all your fault. If you hadn't done that then they'd all be alive today…"
The swirling black pressed into my eye sockets.
The patterns were changing, but always the same.
"I think she's dead," Someone said.
"Sirius, just because someone is sleeping deeply doesn't mean there deeeeeeaaaaaaadd…"
Green,
Slytherin,
Grass,
Life, Trees, carrots, owls, pumpkin juice, quidditch, James…..
A dark mahogany door creaks open on its rarely oiled hinges,
"Master, the deed is done, The trap has been set for the Potters." A raspy, yet familiar voice whispered in the distance.
A man kneels, frightened yet confident.
"Well done, leave, I need to address Pettigrew in four eyes."
A man, who is neither snake nor human, scowls impatiently.
"Certainly, Master"….
I drift through mazes of hedges and float gently at the edge of a grave yard. Something tells me I should be worried.
But I feel like I can't die again.
A night sky,
A tortured wind,
A garden path,
A number 12
A living room,
A frightened house elf,
A chandelier,
Green Light,
Bodies.
A family lost, but a war to be won.
Grief.
I sat up gasping frantically for breath, like I hadn't inhaled in years.
"James!"
Four quick eyes snapped to my face as I sat up, screaming his name.
"Lily, you've been out cold for hours," He looked worriedly at my pale, sweat covered face, "What's wrong?"
"Oh merlin, James…" I started sobbing then, and I mean proper snot filled cries echoing around the dorm, not the tiny little lady tears that girls use in public. Remus looked at me in sympathy and Sirius just whispered something that sounded a lot like, this must be bad and took a cautious step back. However, James stayed put, kneeling silently at the side of his bed.
When my sobs died down a little he leant closer and, stroking a lock of hair from my forehead, looked at me with those hard eyes and whispered softly, "Lily? You can tell us."
I shook my head indignantly and clamped my mouth shut, even-though I was whimpering slightly.
His hand drifted across my jaw, leaving a fiery path in its wake and I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. His eyes shone with victory. I knew that I had apologies written across my face as I whispered shakily in his ear,
"Your parents…" But strength failed me and I couldn't continue.
A deep rut appeared between his eyebrows as he frowned,
"Explain."
His cold expression didn't help, so I rambled.
"I've been having weird dreams lately, bad ones, and you've been in them, most of them,"
Sirius snickered and rolled his eyes at this but I ignored him,
"And this one seemed so real, and, oh shit I'm sorry, but I think it is… I saw your parents James… Dying… I don't know if they're true or not but it just feels-"
I squeezed my eyes shut as pain throbbed across my temple,
"-true. I wish I didn't have to tell you this, but last night… I can hear voices and see people and you have the path up to the door right? And I saw it and-"
A soft pair of lips met mine and our tears mixed on our cheeks.
"I-" A finger silenced me.
James looked at me, the only trace of sadness falling down his cheeks
"I'm sorry Lily, but I didn't know how else to shut you up, stay here Ok?"
He stood up and left, his shoulders hunched as though he was suppressing sobs.
I stared at his retreating back in shock. He was such a strong person, but I knew that this had done more than made him cry.
I scrambled out of the warm bed, only to be caught by Remus's scarred arm.
"He said. Stay. Here." Remus almost growled into my ear.
I turned, fear flashing through my eyes as Remus took a step back, the muscles in his arms tensing as his hands clenched into fists.
I looked through the window, the clouds parted, leaving light from the crescent moon to fall onto Remus' form. He growled and the hairs on his neck stood up, then everything clicked.
The nickname, 'Ling's reaction to him and his reaction to the moon, and the mysterious disappearances I've noticed since second year. It all fitted.
"No. Not you, not smart, handsome Remus, Oh Godric." My resolve fell for the second time that night and I ran forward and hugged him, crying into his stone chest.
I looked up in sympathy as it grew darker again. Confusion crossed his features and he went to speak, but I got there first.
"I won't tell anyone, promise." His brow furrowed in confusion and his hold on me loosened. I turned and ran down the candle lit staircase, hearing him swear under his breath, but not trying to pursue me.
The stone flew beneath my feet and I reached the portrait hole in record time, skidding to a halt as I reached for the handle. When I entered the corridor the oil lamps flickered cautiously against the wall and paintings snored lightly.
I realized that I had no idea whatsoever where James might be; my frantic running slowed to a gentle walk and I stopped at the top of a staircase to catch my breath. A shattered sob echoed down the hall.