Hi everyone! As you can tell by the description, this story is based off of 2x09, "Aliens in a Spaceship." I'm currently in the process of rewatching Bones and just finished this episode. In all of my years reading FanFiction, I had never come across one that centered around the aftermath of the retrieval of Brennan and Hodgins. Now that we know what her letter to Booth said (thank you, writers room!), I wanted to write something about an alternate ending. The story features some dialogue taken from 2x09 and a few other episodes, but I have also added a few things that enhance the story. This is the first fanfic I've written in a really, really long time, so please go easy on me.
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Bones. If that were the case, the show would most likely still be on.
Enjoy, and please review!
Brennan felt the dirt all around her. She didn't dare to open her eyes, but she could sense the pitch blackness of her surroundings. Just moments before, she and Hodgins had decided to take a chance: blow their way out of the car using the explosives in the air bags. Now, she had no idea where he was. All she knew was that they had gotten out of the car. She could hear yelling and the sound of someone running just above her and to her right. She would never admit to it, but she prayed that it was Booth. Although the dirt was similar in texture to loose gravel, she didn't have the strength nor the leverage to propel herself upward, toward the surface of the Virginian pit in which they found themselves. The doings of the Gravedigger. She silently hoped that Booth would be there to pull her out.
Her mind was nowhere near silent, either; in tune with the ruckus occurring above her. Her words and Hodgins' echoed endlessly in her mind as she lay still, wherever she was.
The concussion could turn our brains into jelly, she had said.
Anyone you wanna say goodbye to? Hodgins had asked her as he handed her a piece of paper, freshly torn out from the copy of her novel.
She winced as the latter crossed her mind. Brennan had written a note to a loved one, as did Hodgins, in case their plan went awry. It was obvious that his letter was for Angela, after admitting that verbally to Brennan just before she made the long incision into the fascia of his leg. When he handed her the scrap of paper from her book, Bred in Bone, she was hesitant about writing to anyone, but there was only one person who came to her mind. So, she wrote. It took her much longer than Hodgins, to the point where he glanced in her direction and asked if she was done about 4 times. After all, oxygen was in low supply and they were running out of time. She just needed it to be done the right way. In case of her death, she wanted him to know very specific things, but she hoped her designated recipient would never have to read the note. As she often did, she began to think of this man; the one she wrote to. Booth. Her heart clenched in fear at the thought of losing him.
I don't want to say goodbye to Booth... I can't...
The inner voice that played in her mind suddenly went silent. Someone was digging, right above her head. Before she knew it, someone had grabbed her hand. By their touch, she knew exactly who it was. Her knight in standard, FBI-issue body armor, as Angela had once said.
She hadn't yet opened her eyes, but she could feel the warmth of the sun hitting her skin and the yellowish-orange tint it had from behind her eyelids. She was out. Alive.
I knew he would never give up, she thought to herself.
She could feel Booth hovering over her as soon as he pulled her out of the ground, and tried to speak.
"Get Hodgins..." She barely got those two words out.
Brennan opened her eyes, little by little as she adjusted to the light, and began to search for her friend and coworker. She saw Booth looking over to the rest of the team, who had just successfully retrieved Hodgins. Angela was right there, next to him. She couldn't help but smile at the sight.
Booth's attention was all on her. He loved Hodgins, sure, but he was most concerned about Brennan. His Bones. He could have lost her. As soon as she felt him looking at her, she turned to him. Immediately, he picked up on the fear and relief in her eyes and grabbed her hand, rubbing his thumb over the top of it in an effort to comfort her.
"Bones, hey. Look at me. I'm right here. It's okay. You're safe." His words brought tears to her eyes, and she wrapped her arms around his neck in a tight embrace. He had absolutely no idea what had gone through her mind while she was sitting in that car, while laying under a foot of dirt. Although she was usually quite good at keeping her emotions in check, the tears spilled over and turned into sobs. Luckily, it was only heard by herself and Booth, thanks to the sirens wailing on the hill that towered over them.
Booth's heart nearly shattered. The last time he had seen her so distraught was when they confronted Vince McVicar, the pig farmer who killed her mother. She was so shaken that she was reminding herself of who she was. All he wanted was to take her pain away, and to kill the Gravedigger for doing this to her. In the meantime, the only thing he could do was to hold her tight. He rubbed her back as he clutched her body, wracking with sobs over his shoulder.
"Shhhh. It's okay, Bones. I'm here. I'm right here. I've got you. It's all over. You're okay now, I promise." He kissed her temple and rocked her gently, which seemed to calm her down a bit.
"Let's get you home, alright? The EMTs have to check you out first, but then I'm getting you home, okay?" She loosened her grip on him and pulled back just enough to see his face. He smiled at her, and she cracked a small one in return.
"Okay."
After the EMTs looked her over and drove off with Hodgins, she and Booth hopped in the SUV and began the long drive back to DC. It was relatively quiet in the cabin. Booth had the radio on at a very low volume, but they didn't speak. They reveled in being back in their usual spots. Together. Brennan closed her eyes for a moment and leaned her head against the window. As they re-entered the city, Brennan took a deep breath.
"Booth..." she whispered. A tear made its way down her cheek and she sniffled. She couldn't bring herself to meet his intermittent gaze. Knowing that, he reached over and took her hand in his.
"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to talk to me about it if you don't want to." She shook her head ever so slightly.
"I just... I need..." She took a shaky breath and tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat.
"I know, Bones. I know. How about this? I can call in some Thai food for us. We can just, you know, sit around. Talk a little, maybe?" He took turns looking at her and at the road. She nodded her head and looked up at him.
"Great. That's good, Bones. The usual?" She nodded again, silently thanking him for knowing exactly what she was saying without even speaking.
"Right. Okay. Your place, or mine?"
Brennan hadn't responded to the question, so he decided to take her to her own apartment. That was, she could just go to sleep if she got too tired.
I'd rather be the one driving home, he thought to himself. She's too exhausted.
Booth had called in the order not too long ago, and it would arrive just before they did. The delivery boy would have to drop it off at the front desk of Brennan's apartment building, but it wouldn't be cold by the time they collected it. He has a knack for that kind of thing.
Before too long, they pulled up to Brennan's apartment building and exited the vehicle. After a silent elevator ride with their food, they arrived to her front door. Booth placed the to-go box on the kitchen counter and began to unpack it. Brennan walked over to help him, grabbing her food and setting two places at the table for them.
"Want anything to drink?"
"Yeah, sure. Beer would be great." She set her food down and walked back over to the fridge, brushing past him. She pulled out a beer and her favorite wine. After pouring herself a very full glass, she returned to the table where she found Booth waiting for her. He didn't want to start without her.
"Thanks, Bones."
"Not a problem."
She sat down across from him and they dug into their take-out boxes. They ate mostly in silence, both stealing glances at one another as they usually did. Both of them were relieved to be doing the simplest of things again. After they finished their food, Booth got up to throw everything away.
"Booth?" She called over to him from her chair. He wasn't very far away, and she could have waited until he came back over, but she was a bit nervous to ask him this question.
"Yeah, Bones?"
"I have a favor to ask you..." He made his way back to the table and sat next to her instead of across from her, as he did before.
"Anything." She smiled at that.
"If it's not too much of an inconvenience, would you stay here with me tonight? You know, just in case."
"Of course I will, Bones. You don't even have to ask. I probably would have stayed anyway." She laughed.
"Thank you. That will likely make me feel more at ease."
"No need to thank me, Bones. Whatever I can do to help. Do you wanna stay out here and chat for a while?"
"Yes, actually. That sounds nice. I'd just like to take a quick shower first. It's probably wise to get all of this dirt off of me before I eventually go to bed."
"Good idea. A warm shower works wonders. I'll be out here if you need me, Bones." She smiled at him and walked in the direction of her bedroom, Booth watching her lovingly until she disappeared from view.
Brennan prepared herself for a soothing shower, turning the faucet on and listening to the water as it heated up. She reveled in feeling the hot water beating down on her back - a much better sensation than dirt. Her tense shoulders and neck relaxed with the heat. There was quite a bit of dirt that she washed off, but at least there wasn't much blood. She couldn't help but think of Hodgins. Being run over by a car, then buried alive right along with her. And she made things worse before they got better by slicing into his leg to alleviate some of the pressure. Her chest tightened with sadness. Brennan sighed, hoping that he got some pain medication in the hospital by now. As much as she would love to stay in the shower for hours on end, she didn't want to keep Booth waiting.
Stepping out of the shower, Brennan grabbed her towel and dried off. She rung her hair out and brushed any newly formed tangles from her vigorous washing. The mirror in front of her was very cloudy from the steam, but she looked at herself anyway. She watched as steam billowed out from the shower, still feeling the slight sting of the hot water on her red skin.
Nothing like a hot shower to wash away your sins...
Once she was dressed in something more informal and comfortable, she returned to the living room to find Booth no longer sitting there. Instead he was loading the dishwasher in her kitchen.
"Welcome back! Enjoy your shower?"
"I did, thank you. You're doing my dishes?"
"Yeah, I figured it was the least I could do. I know you don't like leaving dirty dishes around the house." He closed the door and turned it on.
"Maybe I should make you stay over more often." She chuckled. Washing dishes was soothing for her when she did it by hand, but she definitely didn't have the energy for that right now.
"Thank you, Booth. You're being way too kind to me."
"No need to thank me, Bones." They found themselves getting closer to one another once more, looking into one another's eyes.
"I'd hate to cut this short, but I'm beat. I'm sure you're worn out, too." She stepped back a bit from him and looked down at the floor.
"Yes, I am. The guest bedroom is ready for you." Booth followed Brennan toward the hall.
"It's right down the hall. Second door on the right. I think you know where it is."
"Right. Yeah. Thanks, Bones." They stopped in front of her bedroom door.
"Well, this is me." She laughed awkwardly. Booth was looking at her with a concerned look on his face.
"I'm fine, Booth. You're right down the hall if I need anything."
"Right... yeah. Okay." He began to walk in the direction of the guest room. Just before entering, Brennan called out to him in a quiet voice.
"Goodnight, Booth." Booth turned back around to see the small smile on her face and smiled back.
"Night, Bones."
"AH!" Brennan bolted out of bed, awoken by a nightmare. After realizing that she was screaming quite loudly, she hoped Booth was in too deep of a sleep to hear her. She sat up and rotated to the edge of the bed, allowing her feet to touch the ground. She glanced at her alarm clock and sighed. 1:53 AM. She turned her attention to the room. Still dark, but now her bedding was strewn across the mattress, halfway onto the floor at this point. She rubbed her hands over her face and realized that she was covered in sweat – and tears. She had a few scratches on her arm, likely sustained during the nightmare. The Gravedigger even haunted her in her sleep. In her nightmare, no one understood the text. They were never found, and they were inching closer and closer to death. She woke up just before taking her last, shaky breath. Suddenly, her door swung open and she jumped.
"Bones! Are you okay? What's wrong?" He ran over to her.
All she wanted to do was sleep. Peacefully. The emotional and physical exhaustion had taken its toll on her. More than she realized.
"I just had a nightmare, Booth. I'm fine." She wiped her tears away.
"Nope. Not buying that. You were screaming, Bones. I thought someone was trying to kill you..." He trailed off, immediately regretting what he just said. Tears welled in her eyes again.
"Bones, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He sat on the edge of the bed, right next to her. She rested her head on his shoulder and began to cry softly. Her heart was still racing from the nightmare. If only that was the only thing it was.
"Do you want to tell me about it? The nightmare?"
"It closely mirrored reality. Hodgins and I were back in that car. Everything was the same, except no one could decipher the text that Hodgins sent to you. Not even Zack. So, we were essentially trapped down there. A death sentence no matter what we did." She paused, letting out a tiny yelp as she attempted to stifle a full-blown sob.
"He made a carbon dioxide scrubber that would buy us a little time, but not enough. It was only prolonging the inevitable. We blew out of the windshield using the car's air bags, just as we did earlier, but it wasn't enough either. We couldn't get out of the dirt." Her voice began to crack, and Booth tightened his grip on her slightly.
"It was too loose for me to propel myself upward, and I'm sure the same was true for Hodgins. Especially with his leg." Brennan felt a tear snake down her cheek at a rapid pace.
"We were slowly dying. It was painful. I could feel the ash hitting the back of my throat as I was trying to breathe... I was so close to the surface, but I couldn't get there without help. But I didn't have any. I woke up just before I took my last breath." This time, she couldn't stifle the sobs. They came on their own. She turned further into Booth, holding onto him for dear life.
"Shhh... Hey, I'm right here. Just let it out, Bones. You're with me; you're safe. I've got you, baby. I'm not going anywhere." They stayed like that for quite some time. If his heart wasn't shattered by today's events, it was now. She was hurting, and there was nothing he could do.
She noticed his use of the word "baby" and wondered why he used that moniker with her, but was too exhausted to engage in a debate with herself.
As she caught her breath. She glanced over at the alarm clock on the nightstand next to her again. 2:37 AM. She sighed and stood up, beginning to pace. Booth got up with her.
"Booth? Will you... stay here with me? Just for tonight? I don't want you to be uncomfortable, but I just..." He interrupted her.
"Of course I will, Bones. Whatever you need. I'm here, okay? C'mere." He enveloped her in his arms and they stood there for a moment. She sounded so small, and so afraid. It broke his heart to see her like this, but he would stay here with her forever if that meant she felt even the slightest bit better. After the moment passed, they released one another to climb into bed. Brennan scooted close to Booth and rested her head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around her. Booth reaffirmed the promise he had made to himself years ago: he will always keep her safe. After he gave her a small squeeze and kissed the top of her head, Brennan began to walk back on her "no internal debating" idea.
I should tell him... he should know how I feel. If he's sleeping in my bed with me and holding me this close to him, he must know. Or, at least, he must feel something toward me. I'll bring it up another time, I suppose. If I do it now, I'll never sleep. And besides, I may simply be a bit delirious from sleep deprivation.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling safe for the first time.
She woke up to sunlight filtering into the room from behind her curtains. Looking to her side, she noticed the space that Booth was no longer occupying, which made her a bit sad. She ran her hand over the other side of the bed. It was still warm. Sighing, she picked up the pillow he used and pressed it against her body.
It still smells like him. Wait...
She took a moment to wake up before jumping to a conclusion. He was still here. In her apartment. The scent of freshly brewed coffee began to fill the air and she could now hear the griddle sizzling.
Oh, my God. Is... is he making me breakfast? That's so sweet.
She was touched. So much so that she felt a slight blush creep up. Her brain reminded her of the note that sat in her pocket, and she paused. She listened to ensure that he wasn't walking over to her room and pulled out her clothes from the day before, retrieving the note from her pocket. For a few moments, she unfolded it and folded it back over again, reading the contents silently to herself. Brennan's heart began to beat a bit faster.
Part of me wants to tell him, but the other part of me couldn't bear to lose him over this. It's a big deal. So much is at stake. Our work relationship, our friendship, the relationship between the FBI and the Jeffersonian... I don't know if I could be that selfish. I've been alone for nearly my entire life, so I know it wouldn't be a problem. This is just... different somehow.
The thought of telling Booth about her true feelings for him had been nagging her since he arrived the apartment with her. She shook her head and placed the note in the drawer of her nightstand. That way, she would know where it was, but he wouldn't. After putting the note away, she stood in front of its location for a minute, weighing the pros and cons of telling him. It was urgent now, but that could change in an instant. Losing her train of thought, she almost walked out to the kitchen just as she was, but caught herself in the mirror and decided to freshen up a bit in her attached bathroom. After brushing her teeth and hair, she grabbed her robe and walked into the kitchen to see none other than Special Agent Seeley Booth cooking breakfast for the two of them, apron and all. She could hear "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner playing, but not loud enough to have woken her up.
Brennan walked carefully and quietly into the room, but, being a sniper, he knew she was there before he could even see her.
"Mornin', Bones!" She smiled at the sight. Their song was playing and he was cooking her breakfast. This is not what she expected to wake up to, but she wouldn't complain.
"Hi, Booth. I didn't think you would still be here. It's 11:30."
"Well, here I am! Not going anywhere. Disappointed?"
"Not at all. It smells wonderful in here!"
"Like what you see?" He followed that remark with the classic Booth smirk.
"I do. God, I haven't had homemade pancakes in years." Her stomach made an audible growl, announcing its presence to the both of them. Booth beamed at his partner. She looks so incredibly beautiful to him, even just after waking up. It never matters what her state of dress is.
"And bacon! Well, vegan bacon for you. I'm making some of the real stuff for me as soon as I finish yours. I made a trip to the store before you got up. I was hoping I didn't wake you. You looked so peaceful." He concealed a smile at the memory of watching her as she slept. Not in a creepy way, but he couldn't stop staring at her to make sure she was still with him.
"I actually just woke up. Did I sleep through the night?"
"Yeah, you did. Like a baby."
"Booth, babies wake up countless times throughout the night for feedings, diaper changes, and a myriad of other reasons. Are you saying I had more nightmares and woke us both up multiple times throughout the night?"
"No! No, Bones. It's just a saying. You... never mind. You slept really well. Very soundly."
"Oh! Oh. Okay. That's good. I'm glad to hear that." She was surprised to hear that she didn't wake up again because of a nightmare. It would have made more sense for her to have another nightmare or two, but she assumed that Booth's presence contributed to a calmer state of mind. They hadn't slept in the same bed since the case in Las Vegas, and that was the only time it has ever happened until last night. She did notice that she slept a bit more soundly in Vegas, but she couldn't tell if that was just the jet lag or something else. There was something different about last night, though. At least to Brennan. He held her as she slept. That didn't happen in Vegas.
"Yeah, you really needed to get some rest. I could tell how exhausted you were."
"Thank you... for staying."
"Hey, it's my pleasure." He stepped away from the griddle as the bacon sizzled and made his way over to Brennan and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"I'm happy to help. Whatever it takes, Bones." They found themselves slightly leaning into one another, but broke away just as their noses touched. They both cleared their throats.
"Uh, so. Breakfast is almost ready. I grabbed some orange juice at the market earlier. Want some with your coffee?"
"Yes. Would you like some as well?"
"That would be great."
"In that case, I'll pour two glasses." She smiled, genuinely, for the first time since her abduction. Booth couldn't help but reciprocate. He loved when she smiled.
"This is delicious, Booth! You are quite a skilled chef. Parker must love when you cook breakfast for him."
"He does, yeah. He says that's one of the best parts of staying with me."
"Thank you so much for making breakfast. You really didn't have to do that. I'm more than capable."
"Nonsense! You needed some good food in your system. Other than take-out. If I didn't want to make you something, I wouldn't have. Scout's honor. I'm just thrilled to see you eating something, right? You look happier now."
"Yes, I suppose so. I..."
"Before you say anything else, I'm staying for the rest of the day. For however long you need, really. No arguing with me, Bones."
"Oh." He beat her to it.
"Okay. That would be nice. I was actually going to ask if you wouldn't mind staying for a little while longer. I just... don't know about being alone right now. Angela is with Hodgins, I'm sure. I don't want to take her away from him, but I also don't want to take you away from anything... or anyone." Booth knew she was referring to Cam. He hadn't thought about her since they found Brennan and Hodgins. He still hadn't forgiven her for telling him to let his phone go to voicemail. Especially with a call like that from the Gravedigger, taking Brennan away. He shuddered at the memory.
"Hey, no. You're not taking me away from anything. I'm glad I'm here. Wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. Honestly, I don't know if I could be anywhere else right now. It helps me to, you know, see you. To make sure you're okay." He paused, twirling the poker chip in his pocket as he usually does.
"I could have lost you, Bones..." He let out a sigh and put his head down a bit, hoping that Brennan wouldn't see the tears in his eyes. He hoped she didn't notice his voice cracking, too.
"Booth..." Tears filled her eyes, too. Gingerly, she reached across the table and grabbed his hand. It reminded her of the murder at Arlington National Cemetery last year; the one on Charlie Kent's grave. He cleared his throat, pulling her out of that memory.
"Sorry, Bones. It was just... so hard. Not being able to help you at all killed me. Thank God the brain trust figured it out. I don't know what I would have done."
"I know, Booth. I knew you wouldn't give up."
"I knew you wouldn't give up, either. You're too stubborn." They laughed.
"Hey!"
"It's true and you know it, Bones." She smiled and shook her head. At that moment, she grabbed their dishes and placed them in the sink.
"Bones, would you mind if I ran back to my place to grab a few things? You can come with me if you want. Since I'll be staying here for a little longer, I think it's probably a good idea for me to grab some clean clothes."
"Oh, yes. Wise idea. We can head over whenever you're ready."
"Let me just clean up from breakfast and we'll head off."
Booth began to clean all of the dishes and utensils he used to make their breakfast , and even cleaned off the griddle for Brennan.
"Ready?"
"Yes, let's go." They headed off to the elevator, Booth guiding Brennan with his hand placed softly at the small of her back. She smiled as soon as he placed his hand there. It was very comfortable for both of them. Usually, he took his hand away as soon as they were standing in another location, but he kept it there for the entire elevator ride, and even until he opened the passenger door of his SUV for Brennan.
Once they arrived at Booth's apartment, which was not very far away, Brennan took a seat on the couch and waited for him to pack whatever he needed. He grabbed a bag from his closet and packed the essentials. He was secretly hoping that he would stay longer than another day, so he packed more rather than less. Conveniently, he and Brennan kept their own, personalized "travel kits" at each other's apartments that consisted of a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb or small brush, a shave kit for him, and other toiletries. Almost like a hotel. All he had to do was grab his actual hairbrush to complete his essentials bag. When he emerged from his room, bag in tow, they headed back out. After he locked the door behind him, his hand returned to its usual spot.
"Do you still not have a TV, Bones? We could watch a movie or something."
Nearly a week had gone by, and Booth was still staying with Brennan. They had both taken time off from work to recuperate, which was highly encouraged by their bosses. She begun to have more frequent and intense nightmares during the night, so he had taken to sleeping on the other side of the bed as her for at least half of every night he'd been there. She was grateful that he stayed. It was very comforting to know that she was not alone. They had made a few trips to the local market and the closest store to grab a few things that they had run out of, and they had gone to the Royal Diner on multiple occasions: breakfasts and late lunches, mostly. It was very domestic of them. Brennan took a mental note of this, as she had been holding something back from Booth.
Do I tell him? She asked herself that question frequently. Throughout the course of the week, she wondered if he had figured it out. Especially after the night that she woke up yelling his name in fear, rather than the typical screaming sound. He didn't say anything, but she wished she could have known what his first thoughts were. That was 2 days ago now, but it plagued her ongoing thought process more than she anticipated.
Now, sitting in the living room while Brennan grabbed something to eat, Booth called over to her from his spot on the couch.
"Actually, I do have a TV. Just open the doors on the built-in. I have a decent collection of films for you to choose from in there as well," she called from the kitchen.
He walked over to the built-in she was talking about and made a remark about the size of the TV before proceeding to pick out a movie that he thought they'd both enjoy. He, of course, had seen it before. After popping it into the DVD player, he switched the TV on and sat on the couch, waiting for Brennan to return. She had decided on popcorn for them to share, after he suggested they watch a movie.
Butter and salt, just the way we like it, she said to herself.
Brennan walked into the living room and Booth gestured for her to sit down next to him.
"I grabbed a blanket in case you get cold."
"Thanks, Booth. I'm actually a bit chilly." Without having to ask, he draped the blanket around them. It was a large piece of cloth, but they still needed to sit close to one another in order to share it. Neither of them minded.
Booth had chosen An Affair to Remember, with Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. A classic. On a few occasions during the film, Brennan would rest her head on Booth's shoulder. He kept his hand on her knee for the majority of the movie, but once the main characters' reunion was near, he wrapped his arm around her waist and brought her slightly closer to him. Brennan placed her hand comfortably on his abdomen in response. It was natural; she didn't even think about it first. Once she realized what she had just done, she felt herself blush.
We're cuddling. I'm cuddling with Booth. On my couch! I think that's what Angela would tell me we're doing. Booth has surely seen this film prior to today, and yet he's anxious. He wants me closer to him? Brennan, don't overanalyze. This merely gives you more of a reason to talk to him after this is over. Just enjoy the movie.
After the movie concluded, she decided that it was time to talk to Booth.
"Booth, I need to talk to you about something." She was feeling anxious, knowing that she wouldn't be able to sleep another night with these thoughts running rampant in her head.
"What's up, Bones?" He didn't want to push her, so he waited for her to be ready to speak.
"I really don't know how to start this... um." She took a moment to find the words, hoping she wouldn't choke up in the process.
"I could have died in that car. Hodgins and I both could have died. We hot-wired the fucking horn to the phone so we could send that text. We had one chance, Booth. The phone burned out after a few seconds. We could never know for sure that the message got to you. Hodgins ripped out two pieces of paper from the copy of my book that we found in there and handed me one. He asked me if there was a person I wanted to say goodbye to. I knew who I wanted to write to, but it just seemed so... final." She felt her emotions getting the best of her again, but was able to control them more today than yesterday.
"Hodgins wrote to Angela..."
"Of course he did." Booth laughed and shook his head, but still listened to his partner.
"And... I wrote mine to... to you, actually." He was surprised.
"I thought you'd write it to your brother, or Angela, or Zack?"
"No. I knew I had to write mine to you. There were things that had been left unsaid for too long and I didn't want to die without telling you. I couldn't do that to you. But... I never wanted you to have to read that. I knew you were still looking. Probably raising hell at the FBI and the Jeffersonian to find us. Running around like an angry man." She chuckled at the image.
"Madman, Bones. Running around like a madman."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"No, not really. Ah, man, there she is. Same ol' Bones." He shook his head at her and placed his hand on her knee as he giggled at her use of incorrect colloquialisms.
"Anyway..." She took a breath.
Here it goes...
"I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by informing you of this, but this is the one time I do not believe writing will ease the mental torment I am experiencing at the moment, regardless of how articulate I am on paper. You know, as a prolific author and all..." She paused for a moment. Rambling. She was rambling.
"What is it, Bones?"
"I just don't want to lose you by saying this."
"Nothing is going to drive me away. Hey, I'm right here." He took her hand again.
He's done that a lot lately... not that I mind, she thought to herself.
Okay. You can do this, Brennan.
"In that note..." She paused.
No. I can't. I can't actually say it. I'm more articulate on paper. I'm going to fuck this up if I physically tell him, she thought to herself. She silently wished she knew what to do with her hands in this moment.
"...I wrote out exactly how I feel. I think that does a better job than what I could say now." He could practically hear the brakes screeching in her brain. If she's this nervous about this, it's important.
"Can I read it?"
"If you really want to." He nodded.
"As long as it's okay with you."
"Okay, I'll go get it. Hold on." Feeling a bit relieved, she got up and walked to her room to retrieve the slip of paper, arguing with herself the entire way there. She didn't notice, but Booth watched her walk away. He didn't want to get his hopes up about what she wrote him, but he was.
Why am I letting him read it? It would be so much easier if he just read it. I'm much more articulate on paper than I am when I engage in conversation with someone without preparation. Even Booth. But, I told myself I wouldn't let him read it unless I were dead. I guess this is the time and place...
A few moments later, she re-emerged, paper in hand.
"Here it is, Booth." She sat closer to him than before.
"It's a bit crumpled up. I guess it was damaged when you pulled me out." She smiled weakly as she handed it over to him, and he smiled back.
Carefully, Booth unfolded the slip of paper and read its contents:
"Dear Agent Booth,
You are a confusing man. You are irrational and impulsive, superstitious and exasperating. You believe in ghosts and angels, and maybe even Santa Claus. And because of you, I've started to see the universe differently. How is it possible that simply looking into your fine face gives me so much joy? Why does it make me so happy that every time I try to sneak a peek at you, you're already looking at me? Like you, it makes no sense. And like you, it feels right. If I ever get out of here, I will find a time and a place to tell you that you make my life messy, and confusing, and unfocused, and irrational, and wonderful. This is that time. This is that place.
Bones"
As soon as Booth finished reading, he set the letter down on the table and looked over to her with loving eyes. Brennan still couldn't bring her eyes up from the floor. Instead, she rambled again.
"Look, I know you probably don't feel the same way. And I don't expect you to. Please don't feel obligated to. I don't want things to be awkward between us if you don't feel this way about me. I was probably overanalyzing your behaviorisms. And the FBI probably wouldn't let us work together if we acted on it anyway, and..." He interrupted her, but not by saying something. Instead, he placed a finger underneath her chin and brought it up so her eyes would meet his.
She was confused as to why he wasn't saying anything. Opening her mouth to speak once more, he halted that effort by cupping her face and kissing her. She was surprised, at first. Pleasantly so. She reciprocated the kiss almost immediately. It had been years since their first kiss, in the rain, in front of the pool hall in 2004. She wrapped her arms around his neck to bring him closer and threaded one hand into his hair. They were both in a passion-filled daze, immersed in the kiss. Finally, something good. Soon, air became a necessity and they broke apart. He took both of her hands in his and looked up at her in disbelief.
"Bones... how long? How long have you felt this way? Why didn't you tell me?" He knew the answer to the last one, but asked anyway.
"I was... I was scared. Really scared. This is the first time I've ever felt this way, about anyone. There's a reason I told you in my death note." She laughed before continuing.
"It took me a while to realize what these feelings are, but I think it began during our first case."
"Gemma Arrington?"
"That's the one. It went away for a little while because we hadn't worked together for a year after you fired me, but I felt it return when... Cam came to work at the Jeffersonian. I saw how you two interacted and I think jealousy is what I felt. That's an abnormal emotion for me. I had to ask Angela what jealousy felt like before I could come to that conclusion." She saw that he was about to ask about her conversation with Angela and decided to explain herself.
"She asked why I wanted to know, but I brushed it off as curiosity. I think she believed me. Although, she has constantly been pushing me to pursue you since we met." They chuckled.
"That doesn't surprise me, Bones. Angela is relentless."
"That is very true! Maybe now that she and Hodgins are in a relationship, she won't bother me as much with the prospect of pursuing you."
"I think you've already pursued me, and caught me." She smiled bigger than she had all day.
"Are you saying...?"
"Yeah, I'd like to give us a shot. On one condition." She gave him a look that told him she was listening attentively to his request.
"Once we cross this line... there's no going back. We have to be in it for the long haul. You're the only one for me, Bones. No one else compares. They never have. We have to commit to this completely. It needs to be just you and me." He was anxious about her response, but he couldn't live his life knowing that she wouldn't be the one he would grow old with. He was relieved to see her smile pop back onto her face.
"Yes, Booth. I agree. No going back. I'm ready." They beamed at each other. Brennan and Booth may have been work partners for years, but that word took on a new meaning for them now.
"But, what about the FBI rules? We won't be able to work together anymore."
"Fuck the FBI rules." Brennan shook her head at him, smiling.
"Booth, you know it's not that easy. In the interest of our working relationship, I think we should keep this between us for the time being. At least until we can sort things out with the FBI. We'll have to look into the paperwork we may need to fill out and find a way to inform Dr. Saroyan and Deputy Director Cullen."
"Yeah, we'll get there, Bones. Eventually. For now, we've got the rest of the week off. I say we think about that later." He waggled his brows, causing Brennan to laugh.
"You're incorrigible!" She leaned forward into him as she laughed, resting her head on his chest for a moment.
"In all seriousness, Bones... You know those couples who have been together for 30, or 40, or 50 years? It's always the guy who says 'I knew.' I knew, right from the beginning." Brennan endearingly tilted her head to the side with a smile.
"Right from the beginning?" He nodded enthusiastically.
"Uh huh. Right from the beginning. That was it for me. Love at first sight. No question." She began to laugh.
"There is no such thing as love at first sight, but I appreciate the sentiment. It's very sweet."
"It's real, Bones. I swear. We're living proof. Now, I'd appreciate it if my girlfriend would quit arguing with me and kiss me already." She rolled her eyes.
"Girlfriend, huh? I guess that makes you my boyfriend. Although, that sounds a bit too juvenile for me. I'd prefer–"
"Just shut up and kiss me, Bones." Happy to oblige, but not without a light nudge to his shoulder, she leaned into Booth's embrace and gave him exactly what he asked for. It was more of a make-out than a simple kiss, but neither of them would be caught complaining about that.
"So, Booth... I have a question."
"Shoot."
"What do you think happens now?" He smiled at her before responding.
"Everything that happens next."
Aaaaand that's all she wrote, folks! Right now, I'm satisfied with this being a one-shot, but leave me a review if you want me to write a sequel or continue this story. If you liked it just the way it is, leave me a review as well! I'd appreciate all the feedback I can get. Thanks for reading! Until next time. :)