Unspoken, Still Heard

Chapter 1: Bête Noire

Kate Todd's POV

He looked at me, really looked at me. Not just at the surface, but somehow deeper. I had just tried to stab him, and now, now I was staring at his eyes. I couldn't get enough of those eyes. Just looking in them made me melt, there was definitely something about him, something different. I could see it in his eyes, kind, pure. He didn't seem half as dangerous as he appeared, how he wanted, needed to appear. It felt like we had been standing there, frozen in place, for hours, while in reality, it was only seconds. Somehow, within the eye contact, we had reached an understanding, something complicated. Something I hoped no one else noticed. It was hard to break the gaze, neither of us seemed to want to, but there wasn't another option, we had no choice. And neither of us could tell who looked away first. It was strange, even after we had looked away, I could see his face, calm, serene, as if it was burned into my memory. Permanently.

Minutes felt like hours, and maybe it had been hours, it was impossible to tell. He was getting Ducky and Gerald out of the way, safe, but unable to help, to interact at all. Then it would be my turn. I felt his touch on my arm, sending involuntary shivers down my spine. I froze in my place, not moving an inch, not breathing a single breath. I was afraid, not him or what he would do, no, I was afraid of why. Why I wasn't afraid of him, or what he could potentially do to me, or to the people I care about. Somehow I knew he was acting on orders, that much like me at that moment in time, he didn't have a choice about what he did. Someone was controlling him, and he was controlling me; it was how it worked. Nothing I could do about it. Whether I wanted to or not. And, at that point, I wasn't sure of what I wanted anymore.

"I would never hurt you, Caitlin," he spoke softly against my ear. Even the slightest touch, the shortest glance, sent my heart pounding, my breathing labored. Being anywhere near him rendered me unable, unable to move, think, or even breathe. And for some strange reason, I believed him, I didn't think he was going to hurt me. Not voluntarily, anyway. Then seconds, minutes later gunshots rang out, and everything was done, over. He was gone, but, we were free. We were safe. Alive. Some were injured, but, we were alive.

I arrived at my apartment two hours later, after assuring everybody I was fine. The team knew that I had tried to stab him, but what they didn't know was that I probably could have. But, I didn't. I chose not to, and even though we may have captured him if I had, I couldn't force myself to regret it. The only one, the only person who had the slightest clue as to why I didn't, or couldn't, stab the man, was Ducky. Not even I knew the whole reason behind me not stabbing the man, who ever he was. But, I could tell by the way Ducky looked at me, the look in his eyes told me he had seen something. Something I hadn't wanted anyone to see. But he had, and there was nothing I could to about the matter. It was out of my hands. My phone rang, breaking the silence. I glanced at the caller ID, unfamiliar, I didn't know who was calling.

"Agent Kate Todd, NCIS," I answered the phone, wondering why I couldn't just be left alone. Why I couldn't have just one hour of peace and quiet.

"Hello, Caitlin," his accented voice rang out through the phone. I gasped, recognizing the voice instant. Millions of questions buzzed in my head, each one just as important as the next.

"What is your name," I croaked, I could hardly get the words out, the shock was evident in my voice. I hadn't expected him to call me, let alone know my phone number. I looked around, suddenly feeling like he was watching me. In my house, where I was alone.

He took a deep breath, contemplating whether to tell me or not, "Ari Haswari," he said before ending the call.

Part of me said I should tell Gibbs that the man had called me. I could already tell, even though the whole incident had only happened hours earlier, that Gibbs wanted the man caught. Dead. And he would do just about anything to accomplish that. Screw the consequences. That part of me said I should call him right then, right there, and tell him that I knew the name of the terrorist, that I could expose his identity. But I wouldn't. The other part of me said to keep it to myself, that the man, Ari, wasn't as he appeared to be. He was different than what Gibbs, or even Ducky saw. And I was the only one that noticed. My eyes fluttered closed, then back open before falling closed again. I drifted off into a peaceful sleep, no dreams, no nightmares, no nothing. Not even the man, Ari Haswari, invaded my sleep.

Just hours later, my head jerked up. A sound had woken me, a knocking on my door. I opened my eyes, glancing at the clock, 2:30am., who the hell was knocking on my door at two thirty in the morning? I looked around for my gun, who ever was at my door had better have a good explanation for waking me up. Especially after the day I had, there was no way I was in the mood for visitors. Not at this point in time. I stood up, rubbing my eyes, it was going to be a long day, I thought bitterly. I walked towards the door, my hand reached out to grab the handle when it turned and the door opened. I stood, frozen when I recognized the man who had just picked my lock. It was him.

"Ari Haswari," I said instantly, any panic I had felt instantly vanished. Somehow, for some reason, he didn't scare me, I felt safe near him. He made me feel safe. I didn't understand it, and I didn't pretend to, in fact I was beginning to think I was dreaming.

"Hello, Caitlin," the same greeting every time we spoke, since the encounter in autopsy. He came in, shutting the door behind him, and walked towards the couch, sitting down like nothing was out of the ordinary. Except it was. I had just met him, not even a day ago, I learned his name just hours earlier, this was far from ordinary. Every time my life seemed to finally fall into place, everything going well, something would come and ruin it. It wasn't necessarily bad, it just made everything much more complicated. First it was the man dieing on Air Force 1, and now it was Ari Haswari.

"Why are you here?" I mumbled, the desire to sleep quickly evaporated, I had no idea what was going to happen, or even what I wanted to happen. My mind still hadn't fully grasped what was going on, and I was beginning to think it wasn't going to, which could be a potentially bad thing.

"To see you," his reply was short, quiet. I looked over at him, careful not to look into his eyes, if I did that I was sure to lose any ounce of control I had left in me. I couldn't afford to do that. Not now. Not with him.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, "Why-" my answer was cut off by his lips on mine. I sat there, frozen with shock, my eyes wide open. I had not been expecting that. Just I as I regained my composure, he pulled away. We looked at each other, having a silent conversation with our eyes. Both of us, at the same time, leaned in, our lips meeting halfway. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I moved closer, while Ari swept his hand through my hair. I smiled into the kiss just as he was deepening it.

There was a knock at my door, "Caitlin?" I heard Ducky call my name from outside the door. Ari and I both sprang apart as if we had been caught doing something bad, which was exactly how Duck would see it.

"Just a moment, Ducky," I called back, trying to buy us some time. Ari looked over at me, his eyes asking, What the hell is he doing here? Now? I shook my head answering his silent question.

"You have to go," I whispered quietly.

"What the hell is he doing here at 2:45 in the morning?" he responded, keeping his voice just as low. We both knew if Duck heard his voice we'd both be in huge trouble, and Ari would probably be killed by Gibbs.

"I don't know, you came over too, you know. Now go hide," I commanded, I didn't want him to leave, but at the same time I wasn't sure it would be good for him to stay. So, I left that dissension up to him, there was a ladder outside my window that led into an ally, so if he wanted to leave he could use that. Once he was out of sight I ran to the door and jerked it open, finding Ducky waiting, not so patiently.

"Who were you talking to?" he asked bluntly. I mentally cursed the situation I was in, the timing was impeccable.

I looked at Ducky, pretending I was confused, "Sorry, Ducky, I think you must be mistaken, I wasn't talking to anyone."

"Really?" he asked, not believing a word of what I said, "Because I could have sworn I heard that terrorist's voice." I looked at him, this time I had no trouble acting confused because I no longer had to pretend.

"Were you listening at my door?" I questioned him, the accusation plain in my voice. I whirled around, noticing the window was open, Ari had left. I sighed inwardly, and turned back around to face Ducky.

"Do you want to look around? Because I think you need a search warrant for that," I snapped rudely. What gave him the right to come here at almost three in the morning and then accuse me of things like that? It bothered me, especially since it was true.

Ducky shook his head, "No, I was just curious," his voice softened, "Are you sure you are okay, you seem a little on edge?"

I smiled briefly, "It's fine, and so am I. I am just tired, I suppose." Ducky turned and walked down the hallway towards the stairs. I closed the door behind him, and leaned up against it before letting out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I went over to the window just in time to see Ari Haswari riding off on a motorcycle.

It was only then that I actually felt panic, not when I had a gun pointed at me, not when he stopped me from stabbing him, not even when he showed up unannounced at my door. And he wasn't even the cause; it was Ducky. Ducky knew something, I wasn't sure what, but it was something, all the same. And that worried me, because if Ducky knew, then soon so would Gibbs. And Gibbs... Gibbs would see what Ducky didn't, and he would be able to put all the pieces together. He might even have a better clue than me. I looked out the window and an unexplainable hurt crept up. He had just left. Ari just left without saying good bye. But, what could I expect? What did he even owe me? But I couldn't worry about that right now, no, I had other things to deal with. Top of the list: Ducky, and quite possibly Gibbs.

A/N: So...? Please review. Please? I really want to know what you all think of this so far! Good, bad, mediocre. I love that word, mediocre!