Oh the plot bunnies. This was actually spawned last year, when my older sister and I were discussing fanfiction, and how in one of the most recent (and ridiculous) ones, Lord Sesshoumaru needed to mate, and went to a brothel. A brothel! I was both horrified and disgusted. We got into a heated loop of agreement over the outlandish idea that Sesshoumaru would stoop as low as a brothel for sex of all things. Tut tut. During this, I shouted out, "he would chain himself to a MOUNTAIN first!"

...which of course is how this got started in mah head. Them silly plot bunnies. So, here it is! The first chapter of the plot bunny come to life. I plan on getting chapters out once a week, on a Saturday or Sunday. This week doesn't count because: A. It is Wednesday and B. I just posted this. So yeah.

DIS~claimer~: I do not own Inuyasha or the characters within, I just torture them for money. Actually no, that was a lie, I just torture them. No money was gained in the making of this fanfiction. Yeah. I know.

It's that time of the century again―when Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Land's beast gets that 'special urge' to go out an procreate. Now, Sesshoumaru's choices include:

―Rape the nearest female and possibly kill them in the process.

―Find an Inu youkai.

―Go to a brothel.

Every idea was repulsive.

The Lord Sesshoumaru was not the kind of person to go out and 'rape' anyone―that was far beneath him. The very idea. Why, Lord Sesshoumaru would not need to 'rape' someone, they would throw themselves at his feet, grateful for the chance to touch Lord Sesshoumaru. People dreamed of touching Lord Sesshoumaru. The fact that they would be having sex with him might literally blow their minds. Oh, and the whole 'killing them with sex' thing wasn't a very good thing to do either, as it would result in no babies―the point of the 'special urge'―and it was not okay in any way, shape, or form. Ever.

He would kill himself before looking for one of those lowly bitches. None of them came close to his standards, living in squalor, with no honor. Most of them were worse than the wolves. Not all the Inu youkai had actually gained sentience over the millenia. It was downright insulting.

There was no way in hell that Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands was going to a brothel. No. Way. In. Hell. No way in every hell in every religion out there. This Sesshoumaru would not stoop so low as to visit a fucking brothel. Besides, pay? Pay? Lord Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands doesn't need to PAY for his sex! He would chain himself to a MOUNTAIN firs―!

...

Come to think of it, that wasn't a bad idea. He could control his beast for one week on a mountain, easy!

...Right?

Of course right! This is the Lord Sesshoumaru we're talking about here!

And that is how Lord Sesshoumaru came to find himself chained to a mountain. Sometimes being a taiyoukai sucked.

He had told Rin and Jaken to go to his home in the Western lands and stay there damn it. If they wandered off, there was no telling what would happen. If they came back here, he had no way of knowing if McFluffers (shut up, he was young and the beast won't respond to anything else now) would recognize anyone, let alone them.

There was no way Sesshoumaru was about to risk them―well, Rin, Jaken can fend for himself just fine―so he sent them home.

At least he learned something from this whole hellish experiance. It turns out, controlling your beast during that time of the century, even chained to a mountain, high above any female that might come near, was really, really hard. Sesshoumaru grunted and struggled, straining against his bonds.

Using his demonic energy to break something or someone was simple. Using it to break through barriers other demons and mikos had set up was easy enough. Breaking through chains and ropes, metal, wire, flesh, bone, so simple, so easy it came to him faster than breathing. Destruction was in his blood, killing in his name. Keeping that destructive power in check however...was easier said than done.

Sesshoumaru groaned again as the latest wave of not longing and desire, but bestial emotion swept over him. McFluffers couldn't even form coherent thoughts anymore in his frenzy, his urging for female flesh. As he bent over the chains at his chest, gasping for breath, Sesshoumaru supposed that the reason why the desires were so intense was because of his iron-grip control. His sexual urges were so repressed and held at bay all the time that when they finally had release, they finally had their freaking release.

But not to worry. He may still have the week to suffer through, but it was only a week, and for a demon that had lived as long as he had, and as long as he would, a week was not long at all. It would still be hell though. But a hell he would prevail over!

...Just as long as nothing bad happened. Like a stupid woman stumbling upon him and the ravenous beast that wanted to fuck her brains out. Hell, Sesshoumaru supposed that by the end of the week, when the beast would grow frantic as the last of the urges began to dissipate, it would even settle for a stupid man that stumbled by. Hell if Sesshoumaru would ever let that happen. He nearly shivered in disgust.

But he didn't. Because he was Sesshoumaru! Lord of the Western Lands, and he would not shiver like a oh god, what the fuck are they doing here? Now, of all times!

Kagome's head popped up over the ledge, followed quickly by her hands, one of which was clutching a bow.

When she saw Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha's vicious and cold, extremely reserved and refined older brother chained to a mountain, eyes wide and red in demon thrall, meticulously groomed hair with more than a few strands out of place, teeth bared, panting heavily, she blinked at him.

She then stared at him for a long, long time.

Then she freaked out, in that annoying, womanly way of hers.

"Oh my God! Sesshoumaru! Are you all right? What are you doing here? Why are you chained to a mountain? Were you placed under a spell? What's wrong with your eyes? Oh my God!"

She quickly scrambled up the edge of the cliff and made her way toward him, though she stopped when he growled at her.

Sesshoumaru had been mistaken. As far as he could tell, the mongrel wasn't there, and neither was the rest of the miko's ragtag pack, or he would have heard the monk and the demon slayer's bickering as they climbed up the cliff face. Apparently in his efforts to keep the beast from overcoming him when it scented the female Kagome undoubtedly was, he hadn't noticed the lack of annoying half-brother and company. It was just him and the miko. Alone. On a mountaintop. Where no one would hear them―her, her, no one would hear her. Shit.

"Sesshoumaru? What's wrong?"

Sesshoumaru looked up to see her staring at him, extremely alluring―puzzled, that wrinkle of her brow was definitely a sign of puzzlement, not an attempt at seduction or an endearing quality. Shit.

Sesshoumaru panted. "Go away..." he growled.

Kagome shook her head and crossed her arms over the miko outfit she was wearing. What was she doing out here alone, anyway? Where was Inuyasha and the rest of her pack? She could be attacked by a demon out here. She could get hurt.

"No, not until you tell me what's going on." ...by him if she didn't just leave already. Over time, he had forgotten how dreadfully annoying this particular miko was. And attractive. The curve of her hips, the flash of her gaze, the pout of her lips―no, no, no, he was most certainly not attracted to the miko! This was the beast talking, the beast that really, really wanted him to break free of the chains that bound him, throw the miko on the ground, remove all the clothing from both of their bodies, and do very bad and ungentlemanly things to her. And that fell under the list of things Lord Sesshoumaru Did Not Do. Shit.

Sesshoumaru snarled. Damn miko. "I am having issues with my beast. I strongly suggest you leave, Miko."

Kagome ignored him. "Is there anything I can do to help?" She seemed genuinely worried.

Sesshoumaru suppressed a groan, and instead closed his eyes and asked any god or spirit that would listen for patience and control. "The only thing you can do to help is leave. Right now. And go very, very far away."

Kagome cocked her head. "Why?"

Sesshoumaru's eyes flashed red, and he jerked his head at the idiot miko and snapped, "Because I demand it! That should be reason enough, you idiot miko!"

Kagome drew back, hurt, then tightened her jaw, threw her arms down to her sides, and stamped her foot. Sesshoumaru had a sinking feeling. He could smell the pig-headed stubbornness coming off of her (mostly because his sense of smell was hundreds of times better than that of the average human).

"No, Sesshoumaru, I will not go! First of all because you need my help, and secondly because you should not address me that way! My name is Kagome! Ka-go-me! What is it with dog demons and my name? Is it really so hard?"

Sesshoumaru wasn't sure if he was supposed to hear that last part, but he didn't say anything.

"..and fifthly, if you do not tell me why I should leave, what reason do I have for leaving in the first place? I always help people in need, especially those I know, unless they give an explicit reason not to!"

The miko huffed. Sesshoumaru opened his mouth to reply that he shouldn't have to give her a reason, he was Lord Sesshoumaru, but promptly closed it as she continued.

"So, Lord Sesshoumaru," She said his title in a sarcastic manner. "I suggest you either shut up, or give me a better explanation than 'issues with my stupid beast', got it?"

Sesshoumaru nodded.

[Hey, I'm not stupid! That wasn't very nice of her.]

I agree. Shut up.

...is what the conversation would have been right then between Sesshoumaru and McFluffers, if his stupid beast had been lucid. Oh, great. Now the miko had him imagining conversations between him and McFluffers, the annoying dog who he had often wished would go away. She made him long for McFluffers' company. The miko crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently.

"So. What'll it be?"

Based on the irritation on the miko's face, Sesshoumaru surmised he ought to answer quickly. He considered his options. On one hand, she should be happy with no explanation―this was Lord Sesshoumaru here, he shouldn't have to explain anything to her―but on the other hand, she made it plain that she would not settle for that, and the more he told her to leave the more she would dig in her heels. However, if he told her why she had to go away now before he lost control, sliced through the measly chains that were there mostly for appearances like butter and attacked her, she would probably leave like a sensible human seeking to protect themselves and their (possible) virginity. Was she a virgin? Had his wuss of a brother 'done the deed'? No, no, no-no, it didn't matter. That was most definitely not jealousy or protectiveness welling up beside the profound desire and need, nuh-uh. Sesshoumaru did not feel those emotions. Well, maybe the protectiveness he thought, thinking of the little girl who so often traveled with him. But all that didn't matter because if he did tell her, he would never live it down. McFluffers (had he been paying attention) would never let him forget it. It was quite a dilemma.

"Sesshoumaru. I am waiting. And if you continue to not tell me, I will keep waiting. I'll just set up camp over here, on my side of the ledge...oh, I like the view over here...I think I might stay a while..."

Sesshoumaru twitched and strained against the chains. Well, not really. If he really did pull at his bonds, they would break and would therefore be useless, but that was beside the point.

"Fine."

The miko looked up from her unpacking. "Hm? What was that? I couldn't hear you. Would you mind saying that a little louder?"

Sesshoumaru growled low in his throat, at a pitch she couldn't hear. "Fine! I'll tell you why you should leave. But you must go once I tell you, miko, understand?"

"No promises. And it's Kagome. Kagome Higurashi."

"Hn. Regular animals have a mating season during which, with either their current mate or a mate they seek out, they...reproduce. As I am sure you have noticed by now, my idiot brother is a half demon, and I am full demon. However, I am not merely a demon, Inuyasha a half-demon, but I am a dog demon. As such, dog demons and other animalistic demons have a certain...period during which they revert to their baser instincts, and seek to...reproduce."

"So you get really horny."

Sesshoumaru sent her a relatively weak glare, mostly because he was getting used to the miko's disrespectful comments, but also because he wasn't entirely sure what 'horny' meant. He wasn't sprouting horns―he wasn't that kind of demon.

"Hn."

"But what about Inuyasha? If he's part dog demon, why doesn't he also...you know."

"His human blood did not allow for his inner beast to ever exist in the first place. This period of time only affects the inner beast of a fully fledged demon, and as such, Inuyasha and other half demons are not affected." Sesshoumaru replied. "Besides," he sniffed. "Half demons don't live long enough lives."

Kagome furrowed her eyebrows. It was disgustingly adorable. Shit. "What do you mean, they don't live long enough?"

"The period of time only occurs once every hundred years and lasts for a full week. During that time, the demon is driven to...mate with practically any creature of the opposite sex." Sesshoumaru groaned. "The beast practically takes over and is unable to recognize anyone, regardless of how well it knew them."

Kagome unconsciously took a small step back, and Sesshoumaru would have smirked if he weren't baring his teeth. "What happens if they try to resist?" She said, eyeing the chains.

"If a demon attempts to resist the urge to...mate...they can be driven to the brink of insanity. If they resist up till the end of the week, the beast will settle for most anything, including those of the same sex. The scent of a female, in my case, strengthens the urge, similar to a shark at the smell of blood. That, miko, is why I am here, far from any female, or unfortunate male, who could stumble upon me. Now that you understand the gravity of the situation, as well as the effect your scent has upon my beast," he snapped, saying beast specifically so the miko would not get the wrong idea. "Leave."

Kagome seemed to be thinking. She crossed her arms, looked at the ground a little ways in front of Sesshoumaru, and chewed on the inside of her cheek. Her head moved from side to side, as if weighing her options. Sesshoumaru would have willingly given Tessaiga to Inuyasha with his blessing to learn what she was thinking the moment a blush rose and fell from her face as quickly as it had come, her heartbeat doing a similar thing in that moment. Kagome looked up at Sesshoumaru, dropped her arms, and turned on her heel. Sesshoumaru released the breath he had been holding and leaned back against the rock in relief. She was leaving.

Or was she? What was she...?

Instead of packing the few things she had taken out back into her bag, Kagome kneeled down and took even more things out, including what looked like a mallet, some colorful stakes, a few long sticks, and some weird smooth-looking material Sesshoumaru had not seen before.

"Miko, what are you doing." Sesshoumaru fought to keep his voice controlled.

"I am setting up a tent, what does it look like I'm doing?"

Not leaving.

Sesshoumaru held in a groan. Shit. Sometimes, being a taiyoukai sucked.

It really does, yeah. Poor, poor pitiable Sesshoumaru. Also, the references to his beast will be made more clear in a later fanfiction I plan on posting that actually came before this one in my head-canon-chronology. Is that weird? That I have head canon for real life? I think that is weird. Anyway, Please Review! (Reviewers get virtual cookies)