My first (posted) fanfiction since a loooong time. I'm totally back in a DC Comics mood.
Kinda mixing up all kinds of timelines for this one. Pre-new 52, Rebirth whatever. I just like having all the batkids semi living together in the Manor.
It's nice, Tim supposes, to have no crazy murder sprees going on for once. He feels almost…normal. Like he's a nice normal high school student, collecting his stuff from his locker, having a nice normal geeky conversation with his nice normal classmate. Very mundane. Yes. It's nice to be able to relax a little and actually do things that don't have an ulterior motive. Unless you'd count pleasing Alfred by 'taking part in normal adolescent activities' as ulterior motive. But whatever. It's why he has actually invited Liam Newburg, lover of all things science fiction and fellow algebra student, over to watch a movie at the manor.
"He never died, he crawled out of the sarlacc pit." Tim tells his classmate as he pulls his algebra book from his locker, "You should catch up on the extended universe."
Convincing Liam that Boba Fett is the single greatest Star Wars character ever turns out to be almost on par with solving one of Batman's open cases.
Liam gives him an incredulous look then proceeds to cram more books into his backpack. "Please don't tell me your butler is picking us up." he says, wisely changing the subject, "Cause that would be, I dunno, kinda awkward."
Tim can't help but grimace a little at that. Sometimes he hates the rich kid image that comes with being a Wayne. Or a Drake. Both last names kinda suck in that aspect really.
"Nah. I've got my own ride." He swings his backpack over his shoulder, "Mind if we make a little stop on the way? I gotta pick something up at my br-friend's place."
He keeps forgetting that Jason is still legally dead. They should really do something about that these days. Especially now that that Jay is back on speaking terms with Bruce. More or less…
Liam is only mildly impressed by Tim's car which is a bonus and they switch from discussing Star Wars characters to whichever Star Trek show was the best one as they drive through Gotham. Once again Tim finds that he has an unpopular opinion, but dammit, he won't let anyone tell him that Voyager wasn't the BEST Star Trek show out of them all.
By the time they arrive at Jason's apartment building they've agreed to disagree.
"You have a friend that lives here?"
Tim eyes the run-down building and shrugs, "He says the rent is cheap." And that the landlord is easy to bribe, but he doesn't say that part out loud.
He parks the car and gets out.
"I'll be right back, should only take a minute." He gestures for Liam to wait in the car and lets himself into the building with a set of keys that he has absolutely not copied without permission and heads up the stairs. He texted Jay this morning that he'd swing by and usually around this time his brother will be catching up on sleep. Lucky bastard doesn't even have to pretend to have a day job. Or sit through classes. Perks of being dead.
He's about to unlock Jason's front door when he notices its open. Strange. He nudges the door further open carefully and takes a peek-
"Hey, replacement." Jason greets him way to cheerfully.
He's dressed in sweats and his hair on one side is sticking up in all directions. He looks like he just woke up, but more importantly, he's holding someone, or several someones, at gunpoint just out of Tim's view.
Tim just drops his head back and lets out a bone-weary sigh. "Fuck my life."
"Excuse me. You're not the one facing this piss poor assassination attempt." Jason retorts, vaguely gesturing with his guns, "On three?"
Of course. Of course he can't have a normal afternoon. What was he even expecting? He's part of the most dysfunctional family in existence.
"Ugh, fine. Whatever." Tim says and gets in a fighting stance, "Just..try to keep the shooting to a minimum? I've got a friend waiting for me."
"Sure thing. One-"
Tim doesn't wait for three, and instead kicks the door open with so much force that the assailants barely have a chance to respond. There's four of them, wearing black, lower parts of their faces hidden behind cloth. Carrying not-quite-army-grade-guns so he mentally classifies them as not-quite-supervillain-grade enemies.
Jason catches on to his tactic pretty quick and shoots the one closest to Tim in the leg with his right gun while expertly hurling his left gun full in the face of the assailant furthest to his left. Then he launches himself at the one in the middle while Tim makes use of the confusion by vaulting over shot-in-the-leg-guy and bodily tackling the one that's left to the ground.
"What the hell you do this time?" Tim grunts out between punches, "Ruffle some mob boss's feathers again?"
Jason grins as he slams his elbow in his opponents face. He can feel the crack of breaking bone.
"Fuck if I know."
His opponent goes down. Splayed on the floor next to the other one. Tim gives left-over guy one last kick in the ribs. Then they both turn on shot-in-the-leg-guy who immediately raises his hands in surrender. The whole thing has taken them less than a minute.
"I give up!"
"Yeah, that's not how this works, buddy. " Jason says, grabbing him by his collar and slamming him into the wall. Right next to his open front door and Liam who's standing there with his mouth hanging open so far it almost looks comical.
Jason says, "Who the fuck are you?" at the same time as Tim says, "Shit."
Liam doesn't say anything, but slowly takes a step back, his eyes flitting around the room.
"Uhm, I can explain?" Tim offers, trying very hard to ignore the blood dripping in little splats from his fists on an unconscious face. It's quite possible that Liam has seen the entire ordeal. And that would mean biiiiig trouble…
Jason lets out a chuckle while keeping shot-in-the-leg-guy in a choke hold, "Well this is awkward."
"I.. I heard a gunshot." Liam stammers out and Tim narrows his eyes at Jason who shrugs like he doesn't give a damn that they've basically blown their identities.
"Liam, I promise I'll explain everything," Tim says, holding up his hands in what he hopes is a placating manner, his mind already going through all the contingency plans for situations like this, "It's just..."
And he honestly has no clue how to continue that sentence. If he'd been alone against one man he could have chalked his fighting skills up to self defence training and a healthy dose of luck. But there's no way he can talk himself out of three unconscious men and his crazy brother threatening a fourth. Bruce is gonna kill him...
From the corner of his eye he sees Jason wink at him.
Uh oh.
"What my little bro is trying to say," Jason says as he releases his hold on the man he's choking, letting the poor bastard slide to the floor with a whumpf, "Is that I'm the Red Hood. And short stack here is known as Red Robin."
Tim can't do anything but guffaw as his brother calmly walks over Liam and drapes an arm over his shoulders. Like he hasn't just admitted to a high school student that he's a trigger happy lunatic who occasionally shows his good side. Liam on the other hand, looks anything but calm. Uncomfortable would be the understatement of the century. He looks ready to run, cry and faint at the same time. Kinda how Tim feels right now actually.
"What the fuck, Jason?" he manages to ground out.
He's so deep into trouble that he'll be grounded until old age. Bruce is never gonna let him leave the Manor for the rest of his life. Bruce isn't gonna kill him. That would be a mercy. He's gonna fake his death and pretend like Tim Drake doesn't exist anymore, while keeping him in the darkest, loneliest part of Wayne manor until he won't remember his own name. And it's all Jason's fault.
Liam lets out a strangled sound that is both disturbing and painfully accurate applied to the situation at hand. He points a shaking finger at Tim.
"You're..Red Robin?"
"Uhm. I'm not supposed to.. Uhm. Yes?"
Deepest, darkest, coldest cellar in Wayne manor. How could he ever believe that he could have a normal day?
"You worry too much, Timbo."
Jason doesn't seem to give the impending consequences of their predicament a second thought. Instead he nonchalantly pulls a syringe out of his pocket and proceeds to jam it into Liam's neck. The teen's eyes widen for a second and then drift shut. Only Jason's arm is stopping him from flopping to the floor like a sack of flour.
Tim on the other hand is torn between bursting into tears and laughing hysterically. He ends up making a sound somewhere in between the two until Jason snaps his fingers under his nose.
"Earth to baby bird."
Tim blinks slowly back into existence and his eyes focus on Jason with a snap.
"I'm screwed. I am so screwed. This is all your fault. With your stupid ass open door policy to criminals. If I'm gonna be dead to the world and locked into the Manor forever I'm taking you down with me. You're already dead anyway. We can share water and bread for the rest of all eternity-" judging by Jason's barely concealed glee he's babbling. Dick says he does that when he's nervous or stressed. Fuck that. He's beyond stressed at this point. He's on the verge of a goddamn mental breakdown.
"Geez, Tim, take it easy. I'm not that big of an idiot." Jason says, as he lowers Liam to the floor with more care then Tim thought he had in him. Then he moves to the closest tug and starts tying him up with some zip ties he seems to have procured out of thin air.
"I dosed your friend with a new concoction. Works pretty fast and effects only short-term memory. He won't remember the last thirty minutes or so when he wakes up. I'll do the same to these assholes. They came for the Red Hood, just happened to catch me at a bad time. Our precious identities are safe." Jason says, while tying up his attackers one by one.
"Screw you." Tim says because he can.
Jason takes a moment to look at his handywork, before sighing deeply and dragging a hand through his now thoroughly mussed up hair, "I liked this fucking apartment. Just got all my books moved here too. Now I've gotta set up another false name."
He turns to look at Tim, "Can you let Alf know I'm coming over for a few nights? Seems I'm between places again."
Tim narrows his eyes at his brother before moving to Liam and lifting him over his shoulder with a grunt, "Call him yourself.", then he fishes the copied keys from his pocket and throws them at Jason's face, "Guess I don't need these anymore."
Jason barely manages to snatch them out of the air and frowns when he looks at what he's holding in his hand. The he levels a glare at Tim that is meant to be disapproving but doesn't entirely hide the layer of amusement underneath.
"You little shit. When did you do this?"
Tim is already half way out the door with his classmate's arms dangling against his back. He doesn't even look behind him as he flips Jason off and stomps out of the apartment.
Later, after he has successfully wrestled Liam into his car and is already half way home the Manor, he tells a very groggy classmate that he fell asleep. Must be the stress from school. They manage to watch the first part of the Bourne Trilogy before Liam excuses himself because of a headache and Tim may feel the barest hint of guilt about that. But all in all, it's not a total waste of a free afternoon.
It's even worth it when he's woken up at 2 am by Jason angrily yelling his name from the bedroom next to his. Yes, Tim thinks as he pulls his covers further up, a grin on his face. Maybe a waste of 17 rolls of cellophane, but definitely not a waste of a free afternoon. Revenge is sweet.