Disclaimer: What is a disclaimer? Websters defines it as 'a boring waste of space that you are obligated to include in your fanfiction even though nobody reads it'. Not really, but who are you gonna believe, me or them?
IF A WERE AN X-MAN
(Lance is standing outside the Brotherhood House, staring at the moon and stars.)
Lance: (speaking) Dear God, you made many, many different mutants.
I realize of course, that's it's no shame to be in the Brotherhood
But it's no great honor either!
So, what would have been so terrible if I were part of the X-Men?
(Singing) If I were an X-Man,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd be with Kitty Pryde
If I were an honest man!
I would show my softer side
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy X
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man
I'd live in a big house with real running water
I'd never hafta pay the rent!
I bet I get to waste electricity
lying on a couch watching cable TV
There are bills and I don't spend a cent!
I can barely believe that it's all free!
I'd train each day with Scott and Logan and Kurt and Jean
even though I think they bite.
I'd start acting kind, I'd stop being mean
and when I learn what's wrong and right
Kitty will say "Here lives an honest man".
If I were an X-Man,
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd be with Kitty Pryde
If I were an honest man!
I would show my softer side
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy X
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle-man
I see my wife, my Kitty, looking like an honest man's wife
full of wit and charm and grace
We've got two children, a girl and a boy
and when we're all together, I am filled with such joy
'cuz she's got a happy face!
We kiss and she giggles since she's coy.
The most important men in town who come and shake my hand!
When I'm polite ev'ry day
People that I meet will say
"If you please, Lance Alvers"
"Pardon me, Lance Alvers"
and I'll show them that I'm sweet and understand
They'll tell Kitty that she's lucky her husband is a real gentleman
When you're nice, ev'ryone thinks you're grand!
If I were nice, I could tell her what I think
of her and why she's in my heart
if I explained how I felt then she would see
life would be so perfect if we never were apart.
You could call it destiny,
together is how we're meant to be.
If I were an X-Men
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
All day long I'd be with Kitty Pryde
If I were an honest man!
I would show my softer side.
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
If I were a biddy biddy X
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle-man.
(Lance stops singing, sighs, hangs his head, and walks inside. He has no idea that the other BoM members have been spying on him from the window.)
Toad: I think he's yidle-diddle lost it, yo.
Pietro: Yeah-he's-pretty-deedle-deedle-dum.
Tabitha: He's got it biddy-biddy-bad.
Freddy: To think I used to look up to him!
(They sigh and walk upstairs, presumably to torment Lance.)
THE END
Author's Note: Sorry I haven't posted in a while (I did say in my profile that writing is my new hobby and I don't have as much time for it as I'd like). Review and Respond. =^-^=