A/N: First ever fanfic soo review and enjoy!
All characters belong to J.K. Rowling not me sigh :[
Hey everyone! Just want to say I've come back and revised this. becouse it really was a mess and I got alot of complaints about it, Almost all the jokes are the same, with masybe a few tweaks, but the main thing is I tried to fix the spelling and grammar mistakes and separate the different jokes. Thanks for all your support and please review!
"Hey Evans!"
"What do you want Potter?"
"You!"
"And I want you…"
"You do!"
"To go to hell!"
"That hurts Evans"
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"Roses are red and violets are blue and ill go away if I get a kiss from you"
"No deal, just leave"
"Damn it"
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"So Lily me you this Saturday what do you say?"
"I say id love to but I have more interesting things to do"
"Like what"
"Like watch paint dry"
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"Your eyes sparkle like the midnight sky your hair looks like ahh..."
"Like a what"
"I forget the rest of it"
"So you just wasted three minutes of my life on your stupidity"
"Umm yeah"
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"Hey Evans want to go out this Saturday?"
"Okay"
"Really!"
"No"
"Damn it"
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"If you were a booger i'd pick you first"
"Were the hell did you come up with that!"
"Sirius"
"Of course"
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"I was star gazing last night and I was choosing a star for every reason I love you"
"And?"
"I ran out of stars"
"Either that or it went to ten and you couldn't count any higher"
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"I think i'm dying 'couse your an angle"
"You're not dying but it can be arranged!"
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"Potter?"
"Yes Lily love?"
"Why did you get me a bucket of paint?"
"So on our next date we can watch it dry together"
…
"Hey were you going!"
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"I picked a flower and it told me that you love"
"Flowers can't speak"
"No I meant that I pulled out its petals while saying she loves me she hates me she-"
"The flower lied"
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"Lily who would you rather date me or Sirius?"
"I'd rather kill myself"
"So melodramatic"
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"Lily"
"What potter?"
"You're a thief"
"What no I'm not!"
"Yes you are"
"What have I stolen?"
"My heart"
"Well in that case you can have it back"
"Can I have my chocolate frogs back to?"
"Nope"
"Damn it"
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"You are my sunshine I'm only happy when I'm with you so uhh go on a date with me or a something"
"Or something; like walking away"
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"Lily I love you"
"And id love you!"
"Really!"
"If you walked away"
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"I'd go to the ends of the earth for you"
"Then go there and stay"
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"What will it take for you to love me?"
"For you to have never been born"
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"I got a booboo on my lips can you you kiss it to make it better"
"Booboo really what are you five?"
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"Look Lily mistle toe!"
[Points wand upward and sets mistle toe on fire] "Not any more"
"Damn it"
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"It would take century to tell how much I love you"
"You're still upset about the counting stars thing aren't you?"
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"POTTER!"
"Yes Lily love?"
"LOOK AT MY HAIR!"
'It's pink"
"WHY IS IT PINK POTTER?!"
"Umm April fool's?"
"IT'S FEBRUARY!"
"Happy Valentines Day?"
HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP
"I hate you Potter"
"Hate is a strong passion"
"Almost as strong as my passion to kick your scrawny arse"
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"If I leave you alone for a week will you kiss me?"
"Make it a year and you've got yourself a deal"
"Damn it"
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"I love you"
"I hate you"
"Hate is a strong word"
"Not strong enough"
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"I would give up all the galleons in the world just to spend an hour with you'
"Then you owe me a lot for all the classes we have together"
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"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?"
"Potter the day you met me was in first year and you pushed me into the lake"
"Your point being"
"It's a bit to late for that line"
"Damn it"
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"1+2= I love you"
"You suck at math, and rhyming, and-"
"Point taken!"
LELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELELE
"Potter"
"Yes?"
"Why did you give me a box with Sirius in it?"
"I wanted to give you a puppy"
…
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"In a perfect world we'd be married"
"In a perfect world you'd have never been born"
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"I'm dying tomorrow so why don't you make my last night the best ever"
"If you don't leave right now you will be dying sooner than tomorrow"
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"Hey were have you been all my life?"
"Hiding from you"
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"Hey Lily listen!"
"If I could hold a star for ev-"
"Ohh damn it another star one!"
"Hush now were was I oh yes if I could hold a star for every time you made me smile id be holding all the stars in the galaxy"
"I hope they blow up and you die slowly and painfully"
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"If you were holding twelve roses and you stood in front of a mirror you would see thirteen lovely things"
"And if you, Sirius and a toad stood in front of a mirror it would say 'Hey look triplets'"
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"
"Are you a book because you're what I call FINE PRINT!"
"When was the last time you read a book?"
"Uhh James is not here right now please leave a message after the beep
BEEEEEPP"
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"If you were my sister incest would be cool"
…
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"Hey Evens are you ticking"
"What?"
"'Cause you're the bomb!"
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"If I saw you naked i'd die happy"
"And if I saw you naked i'd die laughing"
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"You see my friend over there" [points to Sirius, who waves] "He wants to know who do think is cuter"
"A dead puppy"
"Damn it Sirius you win"
…
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"If I gave you truth serem I bet you'll admit to loving me"
"And if I gave you truth serem I bet you'll admit it was you who put beetles in my soup yesterday"
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"Uhh"
"Running low on pickup lines Potter?"
"Hey they're hard to think of!"
"Especialy if you can't think"
[By the lake]
"Hey Lily what's the handsomest thing in a five yard radius"
[looks at diserted courtyard] "umm the giant squid"
"Hey its hogsmead weekend you know what that means!"
"You sit heer sad, alone, and ugly?"
"NO! I have a date with-"
"Sirius! I thought you loved me!" [runs away fake crying]
"Sheesh PMS much?"
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"Do you have a band aid I scraped my knee falling for you"
"No you scraped your knee when I pushed you out of your chair in the great hall"
"No but seriusly I need a bandaid"
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"God called he needs his angle back"
"Your town called they need there idiot back"
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"I saw a rose this morning and thought it was the most beautiful thing ever until I saw you"
"I saw a pile of dragon dung this morning and thought it was smarter than you now I see i'm right"
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"Hey lily are you from Kansas coase you're the only ten I see!"
"What?"
"I think I did it wrong"
GASP
"What?"
"I didn't know you could think!"
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"Potter?"
"Yes my lovely lily?"
"Where do you get all of these pick up lines?"
"Sirius has a book of them"
"Of course"
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"Hey baby what's your sign?"
"Do not enter"
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"Evens you look hot!"
"Potter you do not!"
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"Lily are from Tennessee coase you're the only ten I see!"
"I thought it was Kansas?"
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'
"You know want me Evans!"
"Yeah I want you… to leave!"
?
"Roses are red, violets are blue, you are sweet, and I love you"
"apples are red, I hate Sirius Black, go to hell and never come back"
!
"I'm sure with your great looks you turn a lot of heads"
"And I bet with your awful ones you turn a lot of stomaches"
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"Names potter, James potter"
"Names interested, not interested"
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"Pinch me your to beautiful"
"Okay"
"Damn it Evens that hurt"
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"Love me or leave me"
"Okay"
"Hey were you going!"
"If I were you, I would kiss me"
"And if I were you I would be an annoying , arragont ,stupid prat, who-"
"Are you done yet?"
"I might never be"
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"I'm here to arrest you"
"For what!?"
"For stealing my heart"
"Phew I thought you were talking about the…uhh never mind"
"The what Lily. THE WHAT!?"
"Hey Evans i'm out of pick up lines sooo do you want to go out with me!"
"Okay"
"REALLY!"
"No, I cant believe you fell for that agian"
"You're cruel"
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