Hello, all! This isn't really any work of mine that should be taken seriously, just a funny story based around me and my brother's two heroes, William the Wizard and Thora the Barbarian. This will be a mismatched collection of their different misadventures in the setting of Diablo III, but of course it will have the three followers and maybe even others mixed in as well. Now, I've wasted enough of your time. Have a coke and a smile!
Disclaimer: I do not own Diablo!
The Misadventures of William and Thora
Chapter 1: A Meeting of Brain and Brawn
"To hell with you all, then! Just you see – I will fulfill this prophecy, then you'll be tripping over your robes kneeling before me!" William cursed at the three mages who had unkindly escorted him out of the Yshari Sanctum. He then turned around and stormed off into the great city of Caldeum.
Yet William's anger subdued once he made distance between the Sanctum. The wizard sat on a bench and sighed. Tipping the brim of his wizard hat over his eyes, he thinks,
"Tch! The Masters sure don't appreciate those who show such natural talent with the arcane. But it's not as if I need their insight to start my quest. 'Wait for the sign from the skies', the book described. So for the time being..." He pulled out a pipe. "I will be sitting here, letting time pass."
Just as he placed the tip in his mouth, a bare-footed homeless man ran up and snatched the pipe.
"Heh heh heh, mine mine mine!" The man laughed maniacally as he ran, but only got a few feet away before getting zapped by a stream of lightning and falling on his face. With magic, William pulled away the pipe before it broke, soon placing it back in his hand. He then magically set it alight.
After minutes passed with William just sitting and observing the activity around him – which wasn't too exciting besides two rats and a child fighting over half an apple – a noise broke out that snapped the wizard out of his daze.
A thud. Another thud. William realized these sounds were actually footsteps! And when he looked to their maker, he froze, eyes wide and mouth agape. The wizard was staring at a bulky, red-haired woman who must have been a nigh seven feet tall and covered shoulder to toe in armor.
"Vhat are you staring at?" Her accented voice spoke. William snapped awake from his bewilderment to give a slight bow,
"My apologies, ma'am. I was merely surprised that a woman of such... Vast height and bulk would come to Caldeum."
The woman laughed slightly, "Vell, it's not often a lone barbarian travels to the dessert from our cold homeland. I am trying to bring honor back to my people and find a foe vorthy of my blade."
"Oh! That surely explains much of your... Intimidating features." Exclaimed William, putting his pipe away and standing. But even standing the barbarian beat his height by a foot. Reminding himself not to get on this lady's bad side, he continued, "I too am searching for something, a sacred sign. William's the name."
"And I am Thora. Now, I must go and collect a bounty for these. Need provisions, yah?" Thora turned, revealing to William lacuni heads chained to her back.
The wizard stood thinking as he watched her go. "Hmm... A barbarian would undoubtedly be a welcome help if I were to face many enemies while fulfilling my destiny, and it seems she craves battle. So, I shall."
Thora had already made a good length between him, so William burst into a run. But even with his effort she trekked further away with huge strides. "Oh, forget this!" William teleported in front of Thora, making her stop. "A thought has just crossed my mind."
"And vhat is that thought, little man?"
"You I'm sure are yearning for the rush of battle, am I right? Well, once I catch glimpse of a sign from the skies, as I read from an enchanted book, it will turn me to the path of facing great evil. We could face this evil together. I have the smarts and magic, you have the strength and ferocity. What say you?"
Thora thought for a moment, then nodded, "Vhatever this magic book told you or not, if I have chance to make bloodshed for the honor and faith of the barbarians, I accept."
"Splendid! And I will promise to stay behind you as you make that bloodshed! Now, companions?"
"Companions."Thora grabbed William's shoulder and bashed her head against his. He fell to the ground.
"Ooww... Let us not do that again..."
It isn't a mistake that some of Thora's dialogue looks incorrect. I tried to imply a little bit of a Swedish accent in her dialogue among a few other things, for character. Er, hopefully I got some of it right? :/ (It was my brother's idea, blame him :P). Stay tuned!