Unshackled
"God, please help me... Alex..."
He had no idea how long he had been down there, in Heaven. Delirious, having lost all sense of time, his last thoughts before the darkness of unconsciousness took him, were of his partner.
She was speeding through the rain, well over the legal limit, but she didn't care. Not even about the fact that her boss was sitting right next to her in the car.
All that mattered to her was to get to her partner. If anything happened to him, she would never forgive herself.
Or Ross.
After all, it had been his actions that had ultimately led them into this situation. If he hadn't allowed for Bobby's nephew to be transferred, Bobby wouldn't have had to go undercover into a damn psych ward!
Why hadn't she tried harder to talk him out of this nonsense? Right, as if anyone could talk Bobby Goren out of anything once he'd set his mind to it.
"I should've checked sooner...I shouldn't have waited so long before alarming Ross..."
Alex's hands held onto the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white.
"Goddamnit, Bobby...," she muttered to herself.
Once Alex and Ross were inside Tates, it all happened in a blur. Within minutes of arriving they had an unconscious and severely dehydrated Robert Goren out of his prison and in an ambulance.
"This is going to have consequences," Ross bit out to the director of the facility before he turned and left.
Eames, out of her mind with worry about her partner, stepped into the woman's personal space and fixed her with a deathly glare.
"If anything happens to him, you'll pay for this," she threatened, "I swear to God, I'm gonna make you wish you were never born."
Then she, too, left without another word.
Two hours later, she was finally allowed to see her partner.
He still hadn't regained consciousness, but the doctors had told her that he would be fine once he was sufficiently hydrated again.
At least physically he would be. Alex knew that his mental health was another matter altogether.
She could only hope that she would be able to help him, that he would allow himself to be helped, just like he had been there for her in the aftermath of her kidnapping.
The IV was pumping fluids into his body and the heart monitor registered a fairly steady and regular heartbeat, but Alex noticed Bobby's restlessness, even in his sleep. His eyelids were twitching rapidly, his fists clenching, and it was clear that he was having a nightmare.
She wanted to reach out to him, take his hand and try to soothe him, but she didn't know if it was a good idea to wake him up in this state.
So she sat down by his bed and kept watch over him.
Ross had told her to take all the time she needed, for which she was grateful. Not that he would have been able to get her away from Goren, anyway.
She would only leave this hospital with her partner in tow.
"Ten, nine, eight...Damnit...wake up...why can't I wake up...Alex."
Bobby was tossing and turning in his hospital bed.
"I'm trapped... help me... need water...Alex!"
Alex's eyes snapped open.
She'd been about to fall asleep in the uncomfortable chair next to Bobby's bed, when she heard him mutter her name.
"Alex..."
She could count on one hand the number of times he had called her by her first name. It didn't matter if they were at work or spending time together in their free time. She was always Eames to him.
The use of her given name made her brave enough to reach out for him, consequences be damned.
"I'm here, Bobby." She took his hand in hers.
"Wake up, Bobby. You're safe, you're in a hospital."
"Alex..." He groaned, but his eyes wouldn't open.
"Bobby, it's okay, you're safe," she soothed him.
She brought her other had to his broad chest and began to rub him gently. That seemed to help him settle down and within minutes his erratic breathing began to even out.
Hours later Bobby finally regained consciousness. He still felt a desperate need for water, but he knew that he wasn't trapped any longer.
There was a heavy weight across his chest and someone held on tight to his hand.
Slowly, he opened his eyes and felt for whatever was laying across him with his free hand.
"Alex...," he whispered as his heart filled with a happiness that he only felt in her presence.
He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. She had found him.
Thank God for Alex.
He decided to let her sleep a little bit longer, but he couldn't stop himself from tangling his fingers in her hair and stroking her gently. She was his lifeline, the one person who had always been there for him, no matter what. He had never really been able to describe his feelings for her, but at this very moment, he finally realized how much he loved her.
Bobby had to stay at the hospital for two more days, much to his dismay.
He wanted to get out of there, go home, look for his nephew, be with Alex.
Alex... At his insistence, she had – very reluctantly – told him everything that had happened, including the fact that Donnie had escaped from prison.
And she had steadfastly refused to leave his side.
His heart swelled as he thought back to the moment she'd called the captain with an update on his condition and had insisted that, yes, it was indeed necessary for her to stay at the hospital with her partner.
"Come on, let's get you out of here," she said as he signed his release papers and handed them back to the nurse.
She gathered up all their belongings and took his hand as they walked out of the hospital.
Since Ross had taken the SUV back to the city she had a rental car waiting for them.
The drive back was fairly quiet, but not uncomfortably so, with both Alex and Bobby being lost in thought.
"Uhm, Eames, that's not the way to my apartment," Bobby commented as they reached the city.
"No, it isn't," Alex replied, feeling a disappointed twitch in her stomach at his use of her last name. She had hoped he would continue to call her by her given name.
"I'm taking you back to my place. I don't think you should be alone right now," she explained. And I'm not ready to be without you just yet, she thought to herself.
"I'm okay," he insisted, although deep down he was glad the he didn't have to go back to his empty apartment and battle his demons alone.
The rest of the drive went by in silence once more, and soon, Alex pulled up in front of her house.
"I'm gonna take a quick shower," she said once they were inside and the door was locked. "Make yourself at home, you know where everything is. You should still have some of your things in the guest room."
Bobby nodded. He was here often enough that several items of his clothing and toiletry had taken up residence here, just like her things had at his apartment.
He went over to the fireplace and admired the photos of her family, and of him, that she had put up at the mantel, as he always did when he was over.
He was dying to get out there and search for Donnie, but he knew she wouldn't have it, at least not tonight.
Tonight he would do anything she wanted. He owed her, big time, and he knew it. And he wanted to make sure that she knew it, too.
"What do you want for dinner?"
He spun around at the sound of her voice, almost dropping the photograph of the two of them, taken at some official police function, that he had studied intensely.
"I...I don't know. I'll eat whatever you want."
His eyes drank in the sight of her, her hair still wet from the shower, dressed in tight yoga pants and a formfitting t-shirt. His mouth was suddenly dry.
"I-I...uhm... do you think...may I take a shower, too?" He stammered, feeling like an idiot, angry with himself that he was suddenly so self-conscious around her.
Get a grip, he thought to himself, you're here with Eames, your best friend.
"Of course, Bobby. You okay with a few sandwiches? I don't feel like cooking a whole meal tonight."
"Sure, sandwiches sound great."
He quickly made his exit before he could embarrass himself any further.
Alex had just finished putting their dinner plates into the dishwasher, when Bobby suddenly appeared close behind her.
"Eames...," he started.
She nearly jumped out of her skin.
"Geez, Bobby!"
"Sorry..." He blushed deeply. He hadn't meant to scare her.
"I-I just," he began to stutter again.
Alex waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts. She knew that whatever he was about to tell her was important to him.
The last few days, with him gone, then at the hospital, and tonight, made her realize that her feelings for her partner ran much deeper than just friendship.
Of course, she would always be there for him, come what may, and if friendship was all that he could offer her then she would gladly take it, but at the same time she hoped for more.
My God, get yourself together, she admonished herself. The man has just left the hospital after a traumatic experience and you have nothing better to do than to hope for...
"I love you!" Bobby blurted out, interrupting her thought process.
"Wha-" Alex's jaw dropped.
"I...I mean," Bobby ran a trembling hand over his face, "God, Alex, you...you are th-the best thing that's ever happened to me... and I-I don't even know how to tell you, how grateful I am t-to have you."
Her eyes filled with tears and her heart swelled at the sound of her first name out of his mouth and the words of his confession. She felt a bit silly for putting that much importance into a simple name, but she couldn't help herself. This time, he wasn't even on the brink of unconsciousness when he used it.
"Thank you f-for getting me out of there," Bobby went on, "f-for not giving up on me."
He started to pace in his typical Bobby-Goren-fashion as he continued.
"God, I-I hope you're not mad at me for saying this, but I-I don't think I could live without you. You keep me grounded. Without you, I probably would have lost it a long time ago."
He could barely look at her, because, even though he knew that she cared a lot about him – she had gone and rescued him from that godawful place after all – he had no clue if she was in love with him, too, or if he was currently gambling with their friendship.
He didn't have to worry.
After a few moments, Alex took his hand in hers.
"Bobby-"
He looked up and straight into her eyes. What he saw, almost brought him to his knees.
"I love you, too," She told him with the biggest smile on her face that he had ever seen. "And I'm so glad that you're out of there and that you're okay."
His eyes filled with tears, too.
"And I don't think I could live without you, either. I know I don't want to live without you."
He swept her up in his arms and she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.
"I'll never let you go again," he promised.
Then he kissed her.
It was still early when Alex woke up the next morning. She was wrapped tightly in Bobby's embrace, his whole body curled around hers, keeping her warm and safe.
Last night had been the most wonderful and at the same time the most terrifying night she had ever had. Bobby had suffered through several nightmares, each seeming a bit worse than the last, and she had a hard time getting him to calm down.
It was clear that he had a long road to full recovery ahead of him, but she was determined to be there for him and walk that road with him all the way.
The end