He hesitated. Deciding whether or not to put his arm around me. I don't know how I knew, but it was like I was watching the scene in third person pov. It was weird seeing myself. We were talking about Journalism in college.
"What's journalism like? You should take it," he said with a smile on his face.
"I'll take it just for you and I'll tell you what its all about," I whispered softly.
We were both watching the zombies stagger all around us from behind the wooden bars in the abandoned circus cage that used to be for an elephant. Then, he did something I didn't expect.
He finally laid his long arm across my shoulders and pulled me close to his side. He was warm. But not too warm. It felt nice. I put my head against his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist. I was expecting this, but not expecting this at the same time. He started laying one, two, three, six soft kisses across the top of my head, starting at the crown. It felt so good. So right. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.
"Is this what it feels like? To be cared for? Cherished? ... Loved?" I asked myself quietly. I was shocked but excited. No one had ever liked me like this, or even cared about my well-being. Besides my family of course but you know what I mean.
I've never used the word "love." I'm afraid of getting hurt. I feel like if I ever use the word, he'll be taken away from me. And I'll be alone again. Like always.
He moved down to my neck. One, two, stopped. I didn't open my eyes. I was afraid he would disappear or laugh in my face.
I felt stupid. He didn't want me. It was just a joke. I opened my eyes just a fraction of an inch and saw him leaning towards me. His lips were puckered but not so much that he looked like Sebastion from the Little Mermaid. His lips were a rosy magenta, and looked so soft. He was leaning towards me so slowly, it was agonizing.
"He's about to kiss me! He stayed! He's real! I'm not imagining it. I'm going to have my first kiss, oh my goodness, oh my goodness!"
Thankfully, I did not say this out loud.
I started leaning forward too. Inch by inch until we were half an inch apart. Our noses were almost touching. We were so close until he took a step away from me.
The cold wind wrapped its dead, icy fingers all around me. I missed his warmth.
His smile confused me. Was it apologetic? Was it just a joke? Either way, I felt like I was punched in the face.
Then, I woke up.