Beautiful Tears

Those beautiful tears,

Running down from your face,

As I bent my knees ,

I said "I'm sorry, my sweetheart"

Thunder, lightning, and rain. You have got to be kidding me.

I don't really know why I came to this bar. On second thought, maybe I do. A lot of fine and bitter memories were made here. This was the bar which we used to come when we're on late night dates or when one of us had a bad day. This was the place where we first met. This bar makes me think of her and with the weather outside, make that a double.

This place hadn't change a lot. I heard the last owner got broke so his nephew took care of it now. Okay, maybe a lot changed but there are a few things that hadn't move from the last time I came here. Like the long counter in the middle and the high black stools and the small stage near the entrance but it looks like a club now rather than an old-school bar.

I kept drowning in shots down my throat not caring the burning sensation it made. The smokey bar blurs my vision but then again, it must be the alcohol. I smiled to myself as I stared at the glass beer bottle, thinking of her.

I sat beside her even though she gave a deadly glare. "What do you want?" she hissed.

"Oh, sorry a friend of mine gave me twenty bucks to sit here and talk to you," I could hear her cursed under her breath. At least I'm telling the truth. Shawn did gave me the money. He told me to "comfort" her after breaking up with her mate a while ago that got the attention of the whole place.

"Well as you can see, I don't want to talk to anyone right now," She spat. Wow, she sure is angry.

"If I buy you a drink…or two, will you?" I offered her a grin. She turned to look at me and hesitated. It's written all over her face that she desperately needed one. "Um…maybe?"

Satisfied by her answer, I held my hand out to her, "I'm Paul"

She held out hers and shook mine, "Stephanie," and for the first time that night, she smiled.

That was three years ago. It's been two years since I last saw her after…a tragic night… God knows what happen to me after that night. I was too broken to do anything. I can't even concentrate on my job. I got fired by her dad a few days after she'd left. I got a new job afterwards and got fired less than a week later. My sister was the one who suggested me to move from New York when she was visiting me a few months after that incident. So, I moved to Detroit, got a job and now I'm working with a successful company and believe it or not, I haven't dated anyone since her. A friend told me she moved back here to New York a year ago. I flew back here because I got a meeting with a client earlier today and I can't resist coming back to this neighborhood…

I didn't mean to hurt you,

I didn't mean to give you pain.

Cuz you're my sweetheart,

And I will always love you dear.

I snapped out of my reverie as a guy suddenly bumped into me. Damn him! He turned to me and quickly apologized before joining the crowd on the dance floor. The song just changed to a slow dance. I smiled at myself again. This song was her favourite. You heard me right, was. I remember singing this to her. She told me I was a terrible singer. To be honest, I am. Hell, she would love to dance to this!

Everyone started to search for a partner to pair up and swayed to the music except for me and a few people. I took another sip of beer and watched the couples dancing when I noticed a familiar face among the crowd.

Stephanie.

What the hell is she doing here?!

I strengthen my grip on the bottle. She's not alone. A blonde guy was with her. Well, practically dancing with her. No doubt that he's her boyfriend. I examine the man carefully as he looked like someone I knew. Wait, is that Chris?! Irvine? Out of all the men on God's green earth she picked Chris. She hates him! Okay, that's a little weird for her to enjoy dancing to our ex-song with another guy. A guy I hate and forever will hate. Unless, she'd forgotten about us once upon a time.

I don't want you to feel

Hopeless, heartless, mindless.

I just want you to be happy because….

There's nothing like us,

There's nothing like you and me,

Together we'll rule the world,

Just me and you.

I just sat watching her. She looked as beautiful as ever under the dim lights. She didn't notice me at the furthest corner of the bar. Memories of the our past came washing to me again and a stab of regret to the heart.

"Get out of my life asshole!" she screamed.

"Steph, I'm so, so sorry." I tried to calm her down but my efforts disappointed me.

"Oh don't you dare say sorry to me. I knew it was a mistake being with you!" she spat, turning her head away from me.

"Steph listen, me and Kylie, what you just saw, that was nothing!"

"Yeah, right. I saw you making out with her..." She started to stuff her bag with her clothes recklessly. "…And by the look on your face it's obvious that you enjoyed it"

"I didn't! Look, I'm sorry okay. She's my ex in college. We bumped into each other and had a little talk. Then she kissed me and…and…I was a little drunk you know, so…"

"So the bitch's your ex! Then what the hell am I Paul? Why the hell am I even here at the first place?" Shit! Curse me and my big mouth.

"NO!" I grabbed her are just as she's walking to the door making her turn to face me. I don't want to loose her. Her eyes were red with rage and pure sadness. I saw the tears falling down her cheek. What have I done? I lifted my free hand to wiped the tears and cupped her cheek. "I'm sorry, that did not came out like I wanted to. Please Steph believe me there's nothing going on between me and her." I took a deep breath, "Trust me."

She closed her eyes and gave out long sigh and shrugged herself from my touch, "I trust you enough, Paul." She told me and walked out of the front door.

As you walk away,

You broke my heart to pieces.

Whats left are just friendship,

I'll be your best friend from now on.

Her faint laughter stopped me. I snapped my head up and saw her giving a peck on Chris' cheek before walking to the ladies' room. Her destination's just three tables away so I got a really good look of her.

Why the hell am I still here? Those words repeated itself over and over in my head. To be honest, I hate seeing her with another man. Especially with him. Well, they seemed happy together. Isn't that fantastic!

It is good for her. She finally have someone…someone she could love…unlike me. I'm an asshole! I could've push that bitch Kylie and run to her instead for our dinner date. I could've stop her from leaving me and sort it out, I could've…

My thoughts trailed when I saw her, again. She's out of the ladies room and now straightening herself before she walks back to her table to her boyfriend on the other side of the bar who seemed a little busy with his cell. She's quite close to my sitting spot. Fortunately, or unfortunately for me, she didn't notice me because of the dim lighting. It's been two years since I last saw her which was that night. The sorrow, the regret had haunted me every day. Cheerful memories repeated itself in my head time after time while horrible ones got worse when I sleep. She was mine.

I can't let you go,

I swore I'll stay with you.

But now I've lost you,

No you can't be here anymore

"No no no no no no…" I muttered to myself. This is not happening to me. She's…leaving…me… Because of my idiotic action. Damn me! I rushed to her, not forgetting my keys before closing the front door. I saw her walking through the rain at the sidewalk with her suitcase, "Steph!"

She kept walking. I didn't give up. "Steph, please…" her steps finally halted as I pulled her to face me. She kept her head low, not wanting to look at me. "I sorry okay. I am really, really sorry. We can work this out…" I told to her. Her head snapped to look at me and slowly shook her head.

God, no. She's leaving me. My eyes were screaming and begging her to stay. I let the tears escape, flowing freely down my face. "Please…Please Steph…Don't go…" I begged. Why is she making this so hard for me! I gripped her arm gently enough to make her face me again. I cupped her cheek with my free hand and wiped the tears on it. The look on her face definitely said; it's over. I struggled to stop the tears from streaming out, I failed, "Steph, I love you,"

"It's over Paul." she said coldly. Those words. Those horrifying words that shattered my heart completely. Shocked by her statement, I tightened my grip on her, not giving her a chance to leave.

Her hand moved up to wipe my tears and rested her palm on the spot she had slapped earlier. "It's over…" She repeated. I shook my head fiercely. She knew I was offended. Ironic isn't it? I hurt her. She hurts me back. What a life! "…and I think this is best for us." Best for us? What the hell does that fucking means?!

I don't want to leave you

My love, my friend, my past,

I just want you to feel happy because…

"I love you too, Paul," She choked out the words. "I love you so much that I can't even do this anymore,"

My mouth hung open in shock. She loves me. She really, really love me. Why must she go?! Taken aback by her statement, I let go of my grip and reluctantly watch her walk away to the taxi that was waiting. She put her suitcase in the trunk and opened the passengers door. Before she entered, she manage to look me in the eye for the last time and told me two words that I knew I deserve.

"Goodbye Paul,"

There's nothing like us,

There's nothing like you and me,

Together we'll rule the world,

Just me and you.

I felt the urge to face her again. I tried to stop it yet I failed again. A feeling failed it. Something told me to go to her as it'll be my last time. Whatever that feeling was, I obeyed it. God knows how much I missed her. Seeing her with Chris makes me sick. Sick to my stomach. Without any second thoughts, I stood on my feet and walked to her ignoring the numbness of my legs for sitting too long and people that I bumped into. "Steph."

Her walking came to a halt. She heard me. She turn around to face me and let out a soft gasp, "Paul?"

Clearly, she was shocked to see me. But I don't really care. I pinned her to the nearest wall I could find. She was confused by my actions. By the time she opened her mouth to talk, I gave her a gentle kiss on her lips. Shockingly, she didn't push me away. It only lasted a few seconds when I reluctantly pull away and look into her eyes for one last time.

"Goodbye Stephanie," with that, I kissed her forehead and went through crowd and eventually out of the bar leaving her there, not looking back. I got what I want, a 'proper' goodbye from me to the woman I love…and will always love I wont see her again that's for sure. I stood on the sidewalk to cross the road to my car that was parked across. I got a sudden feeling that I wont see her again forever. What was that? Not looking the traffic I began to walk. All I remember after that, was a loud truck horn and the screams of pedestrians...

Oh what about us?

What about you and me?

Together we'll rule the world,

Just me and you.