The Ultimate Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfic!
Part One: Shut up, You Insolent Brat! I Make the Rules Around Here! ...Right?
Caution: If you haven't watched episode 29 of the Fullmetal Alchemist Anime, then you may be the teeniest bit confused. This Fanfic uses the Anime version of the Seven Deadly Sins, in which Wrath is a young boy, about nine, and Sloth is a woman in her early thirties.
But also, I have switched around some things for my own use in this story as well. Lust is dead. Envy's love for violence is toned down a bit, so, he's more like an intelligent (?) playground bully. And also, screw Ed and Al, HOMUNCULI RULE!
"Wrath, are you sure this is the right house? She doesn't look like a homunculus!" complained Envy.
"Listen, Pride gave me and you THIS address, okay?" said Wrath, in reply.
Wrath and Envy were positioned outside the window of a house on a seemingly normal street. According to Pride, this house was supposed to contain the new Lust. Envy scratched his exposed stomach and involuntarily started messing with his belly button. "Okay, Wrath," he began, still fiddling with his belly button. "You go in there and get her. Pride said her tattoo is on her upper right arm-- so check before you haul her out, okay?"
"Why do I have to go in there?" whined Wrath.
"Because I said so, you insolent brat!" ordered Envy.
"You're not the boss of me," pouted Wrath, crossing his arms over his skinny chest.
Envy sighed. He contemplating killing the annoying kid then and there, but unfortunately, much like the lady he'd kidnapped Wrath from, even Envy was unusually attached to him. "Fine then," scowled Envy. I'll go in and get her...she IS Lust after all, and I'm MUCH sexier than you!"
"I don't know what that word means, but okay!" agreed Wrath. Frankly, he would have agreed to anything Envy said as long as it meant getting his way.
"Alright, uh, Wrath...this window won't budge, can you get rid of it with Alchemy?" grunted Envy, who was trying to lift up the window into the girl's room.
"Sure I can, but Envy, this is a sliding window, and not the kind you lift up!" explained Wrath, sauntering over and sliding the window to the right. Envy muttered something about how he hated the modern kids that thought they knew everything, and slipped through the window with reptilian grace.
Once in the room, Envy rushed over to the girl's futon and lifted up her right sleeve to reveal the tattoo that all homunculi share. "#$%!" he exclaimed. "She is a homunculus!"
After standing there and brooding for about a minute, Envy leaned his mouth close to her ear and in a seductive tone whispered, "Time to wake up, little girl!"
The girl's eyes shot open and Envy jumped back when he saw their color: bright purple with little stars in the pupils. She sat up and snickered. "Heh, you look hot when you're naked!"
"W-what?!" exclaimed Envy, clapping his hands over his unmentionable region.
"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to invade your privacy, but when I just wake up, I can't control my powers."
Envy's face was beet red. "You have to turn that power off when you're around me, okay?! I have insecurities..."
The girl kicked her legs out of bed and looked Envy up and down. "I won't make any promises."
"Well then, I'll gouge your eyes out, bitch!"
"Fine, fine," she said, the little stars fading. "So, I'm guessing you and your adorable sidekick are here to recruit me to your group of evil doing?"
"How did you know?!" demanded Envy. "AND THERE'S NOTHING ADORABLE ABOUT WRATH!!"
"You guys talk really loud—and yes there is. You may be the sexy one, but I'd rather hang out with him all day."
Envy frowned, feeling a bit... envious about being considered less appealing than a nine-year-old. He soon got over it and then motioned toward the open window. The new Lust climbed through, and then stuck her head back through the opening just as Envy was about to step through. He was caught off guard by her head and in shock fell over on his butt. Completely ignoring Envy's excellent display of skill and coordination, the girl grinned and said, "Oh, and Envy, you and your siblings don't have to call me Lust. You can just call me Sae-chan if you want!"
"Sure, sure, whatever, just make sure not to stick your HEAD in the middle of me and Edward Elric when I'm about to KILL him—because I'm so hell-bent, that I WILL drive right through you."
Sae's face was blank for a second and then she said, "Nah, you won't kill him."
"OH YES I WILL!"
"Nah."
"YES!"
"Nah."
"YES!"
"Nah."
"YES I WILL! NOW, SHUT UP AND START WALKING!!!" by this time, Envy had crawled back through the window and was standing as tall as he could, facing Sae, with his hands on his hips and his face murderous.
"Oh, not only do you think you're going to kill Edward-kun, but you also think I'm going to walk?!"
"Well, uh, yeah, what else would you do...fly?" questioned Envy, coming across a puzzle he couldn't solve.
"No, you're going to carry me on your back!" proclaimed Sae, crossing her arms over her chest in a demanding way.
Envy started to protest, but as soon as he opened his mouth, a goofy smile slid onto Sae's face and the little stars appeared in her pupils.
"OKAY FINE! HOP ABOARD!" screamed Envy, losing his cool for the umpteenth time that night. Sae giggled and climbed onto Envy's skinny, yet muscular back.
"Okay, giddy up!" commanded Sae in a chipper voice, giving Envy's sides a little kick with her small feet.
"You're lucky you're, like, two feet tall, or I'd kill you right now!" growled Envy. Sae laughed and tugged at Envy's long, deep green hair.
"Stop that!" snarled Envy, swatting at Sae's hands as he started walking. As much as it pained him to admit, as annoying, perverted, and aggravating as she was, he kind of liked her. Nonetheless, with Sae messing with his hair and cooing to Wrath, this was going to be a looooong walk.