WARNING: This story contains graphic violence, child abuse, rape, and underage drug use ~Other additional warnings to be added later!~ Read at own risk!

Decided to rewrite this because I have a lot of ideas for this story, so once again I apologize if there is any grammar mistakes English is not my first language!

This rewritten version is going to be a lot more detailed then the last, also it's a possibility the ending will be different as well... who knows there might be a lot happier ending to this version as well!

Life had been great for Shizuo, he was the only child with a loving mother and father. His parents would spoil him, give him anything he pleased, Shizuo never had to ask twice for the stuff he wanted. His father Kichirou would sometimes even take the day off work to spend the entire day with the boy, doing whatever Shizuo wanted and when he wasn't with his father, he was with his mother Namiko. She would always take the time to read to Shizuo, play games with him, and even cook the boy whatever he liked.

Shizuo couldn't have been happier in life; that was until he had turned three, when his baby brother Kasuka was born.

A lot of problems had started to unfold after that, the two parents began to barely pay attention to their eldest child anymore, it slowly began to become all about Kasuka. But Shizuo really didn't mind because he loved his parents, he loved Kasuka and as long as his family was happy he was happy.

At age four that was when the fighting began, at first it was just about bills and money, but soon the fights began to escalate more and more each day. He could hear his mother screaming as he lied awake in his room one night, about how his father was wasting their money on alcohol.

He never understood why his father blew their money on a drink that smelt so nasty, didn't that mean the drink was nasty too? But for some reason his father was obsessed with it, even if it did make his dad act all weird, but it was all he ever drank anymore.

By age five Namiko and Kichirou began to drift slowly apart. Kichirou would work more and when he was home, Namiko would try to avoid him the best she could she just wanted to avoid all the fighting.

It slowly got to the point Kichirou barely came home and Namiko began to cry herself to sleep at night, Shizuo was too young to understand the full situation but he tried to help his mother as much as he could, he would help clean up and watch after Kasuka as well, just wanting to make his mother happy.

But all his efforts seemed to go unnoticed as his mother became more frustrated about Kichirou being gone all the time, and on Shizuo's sixth birthday was when things really began to change. He remembered it so clearly, his father had come home drunk with another women.

He would never forget that day because his father had been crying; his father never cries. But he did as he confessed to his mother that he had been cheating on her for month now, putting both his mother and the strange women in an awkward position as he also confessed that the women was already five months pregnant with his child.

That night once the fighting had stopped after what seemed like forever, his mother had packed up her stuff and left; taking Kasuka with her. Shizuo never really understood why she hadn't taken him as well, but he never found the strength to ask.

The days had slowly began to drag by, he was forced to spend time with a women who had torn their family apart. All because his father had felt too bad to leave her alone while she was pregnant, so she ended up staying with them.

Her name was Kyouko and although Shizuo hated her at first, months began to pass and the two of them began to grow closer.

Kyouko would play games with him, read him stories like his mother and father used to do, he was so happy that he didn't have to be alone while his father worked. He had someone there to help clean and cook for him, and most of all give him the attention he wanted. In the slightest it helped fill the void of his mother leaving.

But on May 4th there was a new addition to their family; it was a boy with the name of Izaya. Soon enough his father had brought him home from the hospital with the news that the boy's mother had passed away during birth and six year old Shizuo couldn't help but wonder why the boy couldn't have just died instead, because not only was he the reason that his own mother left, but he was now the reason Kyouko was no longer with them.

Kyouko's death had taken a toll on Shizuo, especially now he has no one he can rely on. He can't even talk to his own father about it because the man is overly stressed lately, with raising two boys on his own and trying to hold a job Kichirou barely got to see Shizuo or even spend time with his newborn son. Instead he had to get random babysitters each night to take care of the boys as he worked, because he wasn't able to afford a full time nanny.

But being so young Shizuo couldn't really grasp the full situation, all he knew was Izaya had ruined his family. His mother and real brother had left and Kyouko was gone, and now his father was more stressed than ever all because of him. If the man wasn't at work, he was home handling a cranky and crying Izaya half the time and barely paying attention to him anymore.

Everything is because of him.

He hated Izaya, why couldn't he have just died too? Then maybe everything would have gone back to normal then, maybe his mother would have come back? And maybe, just maybe he wouldn't feel so alone half the time.

He would never forgive the boy for ruining everything he once loved.

At the age of nine, Shizuo was given the responsibility to take care of Izaya by himself as their father worked because they no longer had the money to hire a babysitter.

So Shizuo was to care for the brat day after day, making sure the flea ate, bathed, and got to bed on time. But what pissed the nine year off the most was the fact Izaya was always smiling, always happy, always clinging to his side and laughing as if he had the right too.

It took so much strength in Shizuo not to hurt the younger, the slightest things he did just irritated him to no end.

But one day at the age of twelve Shizuo had come close to hurting the boy, he had come home from school to see the raven eating his last pudding and Shizuo had gone on a rampage. Trying to pick up the fridge to throw it at the other but halfway through the attempt, the fridge had become too much.

Shizuo had ended up in the hospital that day, with Izaya by his side along with their friend Shinra. Both of the boy exclaiming how cool Shizuo was for picking up that fridge, Izaya wasn't even scared in the slightest.

Instead the younger kept going on and on about how Shizuo would grow up to be this strong monster that everybody would fear, but not him because he loved his big monster of a brother.

Which only pissed Shizuo off even more.

His father was upset when he heard about the incident, the whole way home he kept yelling at the boys that they should know better than to cause trouble and put one another in the hospital. Yelling about how this was just going to add to another bill that he clearly couldn't afford and Shizuo just kept glaring over at Izaya the whole way home; it was the damned flea's fault.

Turning thirteen was a rough time for Shizuo, his body began to change as puberty hit and his strength didn't make it easier on him. It just made things a lot worse, especially when he didn't have no one too talk too about it.

His father was always busy and when the man wasn't working, he was off getting wasted somewhere so Shizuo never really had the chance to talk to the man.

It was a confusing time for Shizuo and things only got worse from there. Shizuo would often leave Izaya home alone to go out with Shinra and Kadota, no matter how many times Izaya begged to come because the boy loved clinging to his big brother. Even though Shinra and Kadota never really seemed to mind hanging around Izaya, Shizuo just didn't want the damn flea tagging along and ruining the only free time he had to get away from him.

Izaya was seven years old, it was time the boy learned to take care of himself anyways. He would have to learn to stop depending on Shizuo for everything and that's what the eldest told himself each time he left the house, while watching Izaya's head bow with disappointment.

Age fourteen had gotten a little better, with Izaya finally getting the hint that he didn't want to hang around him all the time. Shizuo felt as if he could finally go out without feeling guilty, even though he shouldn't feel guilty. Izaya was nothing too him and yet he found himself feeling a bit of guilt each time he left the house while the other stood at the doorway with a disappointed look in his eyes.

But as weeks went by and Shizuo found himself barely being home, he would always find ways to stay at Shinra's or even Kadota's because he liked their houses better than he ever liked his own. At their houses he didn't have a constant reminder of how his life had gotten fucked up clinging to him, the damned flea was ruining things, even now.

But the days Shizuo did find himself going home, he began to see a big change in Izaya.

He was barely talking…

Smiling…

Or even laughing like he used too.

Something was wrong but Shizuo had forced himself not to care, whatever it was, it wasn't his problem. Besides there's one thing Izaya hadn't changed, the damn clinginess, every time he was home Izaya would follow him like a damn puppy and it pissed Shizuo off to no end.

It pissed Shizuo off even more when the boy tried climbing into the bed with him at night, claiming to have a nightmare. But Shizuo knew it was all an act just so he could cling to him even more; didn't the damn brat understand he didn't want him near him?

But nonetheless, Shizuo would always refuse and kick the boy out of his room, ignoring the pleas he got from the raven while he slammed the door in his face, only to lock it afterwards.

Age fifteen was when things started to really change, their father had lost his job that same year and was slowly becoming more irritable lately as he was in and out of jobs. He wasn't able to find a steady job that would keep him since he was an alcoholic and the drinking would only get worse and it would affect his working abilities.

But the thing was, he never really got irritated with Shizuo much. It was always Izaya who would take the yelling, even if it was Shizuo who had messed up; maybe it was because Kichirou was afraid of Shizuo's strength, he didn't know but he never really found it in himself to care enough to butt in.

But the verbal abuse had soon escalated to physical quickly, he still remembered that day so clearly.

They had just woken up for breakfast and Izaya still being half asleep accidentally dropped his glass of milk, the milk and glass shattered everywhere and Kichirou was quick to react, not even giving his son time to try and pick up his mess before he had knocked the boy down with a slap too the cheek.

"Clean this damn mess up!" Was all Kichirou yelled before storming out of the kitchen, leaving Shizuo shocked while he watched the other began to cry as he struggled to get to his feet.

Shizuo had quickly stood up, ignoring the blood that was streaking down Izaya's arm from where the glass had cut into him from the fall. "You heard dad, clean it up." He said before he exited the room as well, not wanting to get himself involved any further and as he left the room he could hear Izaya struggle to hurry and get the mess cleaned up before their father returned.

He didn't really think much of it, his father just accidentally lost his temper and besides Izaya should have been more careful. Shizuo honestly thought it wouldn't happen again. But he couldn't have been more wrong, because as weeks went on things started to get worse for the younger.

It was like no matter what Izaya did. Their father would always find a way to punish the boy, whether it was a small slap or being sent to bed without dinner Izaya always found a way to get himself in trouble.

But small slaps turned into punches and the beatings followed not long after, it was hard to forget the first time Izaya was beaten, it had been so bad that he had to miss school for nearly two weeks to recover and it was all because he had stuck down to get some food in the middle of the night, seeing as the boy hadn't eaten in three days due to his punishment for talking back to their father constantly the past few days.

~.~

Izaya lied in bed tossing and turning to the sound of his stomach growling, three days without eating was agony and he didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to eat for talking back. Shizuo talks back all the time, so why didn't he get the same punishment?

Finding this ridiculous, Izaya slowly got out of bed and quietly made his way out of his room and to the kitchen. Making sure not to wake anyone up as he opened the fridge and grabbed some of the leftovers from dinner the other night.

Not caring that the food was cold, he didn't want to risk heating it up and someone overhearing. So he just sat at the table, opening the container and began eating quickly yet quietly because he was afraid of what would happen if he got caught.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Izaya nearly fell out of his seat as the lights were turned on, only to reveal Shizuo standing there with his arms crossed and a curious look upon his face.

"N-nothing… I was just getting something to eat…" Izaya couldn't help but stutter.

"Without father's permission?"

"I-I…" not knowing what to say, Izaya swallowed back the lump in his throat because he didn't want to get in anymore trouble then he already was. He didn't want to lose anymore meal privileges. "Please don't tell… I promise I won't do it again…" Was all the boy managed to say before the sound of their father's voice silenced the boy.

"Tell what?"

Shizuo gave a smirk before turning to meet their father's gaze, "Oh nothing, just the fact that Izaya's been down here sneaking food after you've already told him no." And no sooner after he had said that, Izaya was gripped by the hair as his head was slammed against the kitchen table.

"You dare disobey my orders?" The man hissed in the others ear; sending a forceful punch into his gut before letting him drop to the floor. "Stealing my food after I told you no!"

"I'm sorry…" Izaya trembled, looking up at Shizuo as he silently begged his brother too help him but deep down he knew he wouldn't.

Kichirou picked up his son, only to throw him against the wall; the impact so rough it left a hole where Izaya's head came into contact and the younger couldn't help but let out a scream in agony as his head felt like it was on fire. "I-I'm sorry d-daddy!" He cried.

"For what?" Kichirou asked while he stomped down on his son's ankle, he ignored his son's cries as he repeated the question.

Not even giving the boy time to answer before adding more of his weight to his ankle, only to hear the bone snap seconds later and Izaya didn't scream this time, he couldn't because he had already passed out from the pain.

That night Shizuo had cleaned and bandaged his brother up the best he could and carried him into his bed, lying him down and making sure he was tucked in.

"You shouldn't have even been born…" He mumbled to the unconscious figure. "Then none of this would have happened." He added before walking out.

~.~

That next morning Shizuo had called Shinra to help with bandaging Izaya's ankle while their father was at work, Izaya had been so grateful for his big brother and Shinra from helping him.

He had been even more grateful when Shinra had given him a snack to help with the blood loss and Izaya didn't hesitate to take the food because for one his father didn't buy it, so he wasn't "stealing" from his father and second he was still hungry.

"We'll be right back Izaya." Shinra said excusing himself and Shizuo.

Once they were in the hall and the door closed behind them, Shinra turned to the other and sighed. "What the hell happened to him?"

"He fell, like I told you when I called."

Shinra sighed, "You suspect me to believe that? I'm not that dense… What really happened to him?"

"I don't know, guess the damned flea got in a fight at school. Just drop it, okay?"

"How am I supposed to drop it? His head was busted, thankfully I had brought something to stitch it up, not to mention his ankle is broken." He tried to reason with Shizuo. "I'm not going to get angry if you tell me the truth, did you accidentally get angry and hurt him?"

"Fuck no! Just because I hate the bastard doesn't mean I'd hurt him!" He yelled.

"I know, but accidents do happen…" Shizuo has had enough and he opened the door to Izaya's room, grapping Shinra's bag and shoving it too him. "Just get out of my damn house… Thanks for helping but we don't need you anymore…" He said before shoving Shinra out the door.

~.~

For the next few weeks Kichirou had left Izaya alone to recover, giving the boy small portions of food that was left over from dinner. It wasn't much but it was enough to keep the boy alive and while Izaya was healing, Shizuo had to be the one to take care of him seeing as the boy couldn't walk. That meant he had to help him into the shower, to use the bathroom, and much more.

Once every so often Shinra would come back to check on Izaya and make sure his ankle was healing properly, after about two weeks Shinra had given Izaya some crutches so he could go to school with. Around the sixth week Shinra was easing Izaya back into walking without the crutches and by the end of the month Izaya had recovered for the most of it.

In all honest Izaya was scared to recover, for the past month in a half it has been peaceful without his father hurting him and he knew the punishments were going to start again as soon as he was healed so he tried to milk his injuries as much as he could.

But soon realized there was no need for that as his father had announced he was leaving town for a few days to try and find work, so Shizuo and Izaya had the whole house too themselves and Izaya couldn't have been happier because that meant he could spend time with his big brother; that is if Shizuo allowed it.

So Izaya quickly planned a whole night of movies and junk food, since he knew his brothers long for sweets and he quickly scurried too Shizuo's room holding out the horror movie Ju-On and flashing it to the other who was lying there watching some random anime.

"Nii-san come watch this with me!" Izaya said excitedly.

"No now get out…" Shizuo said without even looking up to see what movie his brother was holding up, but Izaya being stubborn climbed onto the bed with his brother and giggled. "I even got you some pudding, I know how much you love your sweets." He giggled and poked at his belly playfully.

"So what, are you calling me fat flea?" Izaya was quick to shake his head. "No not at all, I was just playing Nii-san… You're not fat at all.." Izaya mumbled and frowned. "If you don't want to watch the movie I picked out, we can always watch one of your anime shows?" He suggested, just being desperate for some attention that wasn't hateful.

But when Shizuo shoved him off the bed and demanding him to leave him alone, he knew he was going to get anything but affection.

Izaya bowed his head with a whimper, "I promise to be quiet, I just want to hang out with you while daddy's away…"

"Yeah well, unless you want to be in trouble when he gets back you best leave me the hell alone." Shizuo said irritated as he stood up, grabbing Izaya by the shirt before tossing him out of his room and locking the door behind him.

Tears began to prick at the corners of his eyes as he lied in the hallway floor, he didn't understand why his family seemed to hate him so much, what had he done wrong? Was he that much of a burden too them?

He tried so hard to make them happy, to be accepted by them but no matter what he does he always seems to be getting in trouble or thrown to the side by the ones that were supposed to love him.

Before Izaya could stop himself, he began to sob at the thought of his family not loving him.

~.~

The next few days had flown by, Shizuo doing his best to avoid his brother and Izaya trying his best to get his brothers attention. He had even made breakfast for him once, but with him being so young and not yet knowing how to cook on his own, he had caught the stove on fire.

That night had been bad because once the fire was out, Shizuo had scolded him for what seemed like forever before locking him in his room and calling their father to inform him on what had happened and Izaya wasn't happy to hear that their father would be coming home earlier the expected.

He knew he was going to be punished when his father returned, there was no doubt in his mind about that. So the morning his father had returned, Izaya had done the first thing he could think of and that was to hide underneath his bed in hopes his father wouldn't notice and take it as he was gone.

But his hopes were destroyed the minute his father came stomping in looking for him and it didn't take him but five minutes to realize where Izaya was hiding, only to drag him out from under the bed by his leg and flip him over to where the boy was lying on his back staring up fearfully at him, the boy could barely breathe he was so terrified.

That's when his instincts kicked in because he didn't want another beating; sending a kick as hard as he could between his father's legs and once the man stumbled over in pain Izaya scurried to his feet and ran out of his room toward the front door.

Barely making it there because by the time he had gotten it unlocked, he was being grabbed from behind and slammed onto the ground before he could even try to fight again.

"You fucking brat!" His father yelled as he stomped his foot down on his chest too keep him in place. "You're going to fucking pay for that!" He said and didn't hesitate spit on the boy after a harsh blow to the stomach.

This punishment soon began and it was all too new to the boy as he was forced to strip and kneel in front of his bed, once he was positioned the way his father wanted, Izaya slightly turned his head to catch a glimpse of his father stripping his belt from the loops of his jeans, only to wrap half of the belt around his hand. Izaya couldn't take his eyes off the metal buckle swaying in the air, he had a feeling what was to happen next.

When the first strike of the metal buckle hit his back all he could do was scream against his mattress in agony as the metal tore through his flesh with each strike, his father getting harder with each blow made the pain much more intense.

He had counted up to twenty blows before everything became a blur, slowly he had begun to lose count as he went limp against the bed as his back grew numb from the pain.

He couldn't remember what time his father had finally stopped, he couldn't even remember how he had gotten cleaned up and tucked into bed but something deep down told him it was his big brothers doing.

I hope you guys enjoyed, please don't be afraid to leave any kind of constructive criticism in the reviews!