A/N: I started writing this story prior to the end of season 6. The events of "help me" have not happened, but pretty much everything else in season 6 has. When the story opens, Cuddy has recently dumped Lucas but her and House have yet to "unite".

On a scale of ten

Chapter 1: The bar is set

House burst through the doors of PPTH with a spring in his limp. He spent most of the morning alternating between jerking off to internet porn or playing "call of duty" on his playstation3. He wasn't really sure which gun he preferred firing but when he got to shoot both, it was definitely a mood elevator.

As he paused at the nurse's station to pick up his messages he was interrupted by the sound of angry heels approaching him. House was so in tuned to Cuddy that he could tell the difference between her walks. He preferred the flirtatious walk which had a slower cadence as she took the time to put a little hip swagger in her gait. He least preferred the angry walk; her heels hit the ground in such quick succession he was amazed that she could make her little legs move that fast. He still, however, preferred that to the sound of no heels what-so-ever.

"House!" she yelled. "Get in my office now!"

Excellent! He preferred getting shouted at in her office. It helped him fantasize about the day when he would turn one of the weekly arguments into a romp on her old med school desk. House liked to dream these thoughts but in reality he never really had the gumption to follow through on anything. Mostly it was the fear of rejection, of course he would never admit to that, but it was also the fear that once they entered down that path, neither of them knew what the future would hold. Due to his fear of the

House made his way into Cuddy's office. She was already in her power position with her hands on her desk, the fast paced angry walk was not match for his lazy limping swagger. Little did he know that his slow saunter had already loosened up Cuddy's rage, his swagger was akin to James Dean's, and she always had a thing for James Dean. She tried to keep the anger in her voice as she reprimanded him for his team breaking yet another MRI machine.

"House, you can't put two people in an MRI machine!" House had been working on a case of a young obese man who was crazy, yes he could still use that word to describe people especially since he now had firsthand experience in the nut house. The patient thought aliens were invading his brain so there was no way he would consent to an MRI. Finally, Chase convinced him to do it if one of the doctors were in there with him. Unlucky for the MRI machine, Foreman drew the short straw. The weight of the two of them was enough to cause the MRI bed to break. House had a field day with mocking his team for that one.

"Come on Cuddy, I am sure you and I could fit just fine" House responded with a eyebrow wiggle for good measure.

"House, I can assure you. I will never set foot in an MRI machine with you." Without realizing it, Cuddy's anger had completely left her voice.

"Fine" House responded as he absentmindedly lifted his cane to trace the outline of the desk. He was thinking of all the things he could do to Cuddy on that desk. "We can do it in a hyperbaric chamber, I am sure the low oxygen would enhance the experience!"

"Actually House, I didn't have a problem with sharing an MRI machine, it was more the company that concerned me." Cuddy looked down at her computer to feign disinterestedness. She could stop her mind from imagining the two of them going at it in the hyperbaric chamber.

"Are you telling me, you would have sex with Lucas in an MRI machine!" For some reason, House always felt the need to bring Lucas up. It was like he needed to constantly remind her of the mistake she made. Since the break-up Cuddy wished that House would actually make a move, but as always, they were stuck in this status quo relationship where neither one of them had the courage to make the first move.

"No, House, I probably wouldn't have sex with Lucas in an MRI machine either". Now Cuddy was really focusing on her computer. She got a little pissy every time House brought up Lucas (which is usually why he did it) and now she just wanted to get back to work. Her sex with House fantasy in the MRI machine had been plucked from her brain and she briefly visualized getting into the MRI machine with Lucas, only to have him finish before the machine closed all the way. She smiled softly to herself saying "the hyperbaric chamber might have helped"

OMG! Did she say that outloud. She slowly glanced up and House's eyes were as large as saucers. He had that look as if she just told him where his mom hid his Christmas presents. "I knew it!" he shouted. "You dumped Lucas because the sex sucked!"

She would NEVER admit to House that the real reason she broke up with Lucas was because her stupid heart belong to a stupid limping jerk so she played up the bad sex angle a little more than she needed to. "The sex didn't suck, House" Cuddy responded with a look that told him the sex sucked but I am not going to admit it.

"Wow, and you stayed with him all the time. Come on, Cuddy, give me a number on the scale of 1 to 10." House asked.

"No way! I am not rating my sex life with Lucas for your amusement. Now go do some work," Cuddy said as she shooed him away with his hand.

"I'll make you a deal. If you give me a number of how the sex with little Lucas rated, I'll do an hour of clinic duty this week equal to that number." House knew she could be a bitch and hit him with a 10 but he knew her better than that. She secretly wanted to tell him how bad the sex was but needed an excuse, such as giving him extra clinic duty, so she could justify discussing this with him.

Cuddy got up and walked towards him (the seductive walk with the slow heel cadence) and placed her hand on his arm as she ushered him out the door while saying "I am not discussing this with you House, now go to work, you owe me 5 hours of clinic duty this week." Then she gave him a quick shove out her office door and closed it on him.