A/N: When I found out that "How Aubrey Got Arrested" was referenced by TV Tropes, I was so proud that wrote "I'll go Easy on You" to celebrate. So when I found out "Bella's New Boobies" was posted to r/WhatTheFanFic I was so...well uh...it's something. I guess I'm moving up in the world. Just read.
Bella was talking to Angela on her phone as she lay on her hospital bed. "So you're saying Samantha got a boob job?"
"Oh definitely," said Angela. "Unless she got a growth spurt and somehow gained three cups sizes in two week."
Bella laughed. "Oh my god. Samantha's such a slut."
"So, what're you doing tonight?" said Angela.
"Um...yeah." Bella thought for a minute. "I having surgery, like right now."
"Oh my god!" said Angela. "What surgery?"
"I'm getting my wisdom teeth out," said Bella.
"Didn't you get those out a few months ago?" said Angela. "I remember because I had to bring you the notes from class."
"Well...uh, they grew back," said Bella, like this was something that happened all the time.
"Really?" said Angela. "I'm pretty sure that can't happen."
"Okay, you caught me," said Bella. "I was lying about getting my wisdom teeth out so I could cut class."
"Oh you sneaky bitch," said Angela.
"But this time I'm really getting my wisdom teeth out," said Bella. "Like for reals."
"Yeah, I didn't say you weren't," said Angela. "But now that you mention it-"
"What's that? I have to go into surgery right now? Okay. Bye Angela." Bella closed her phone.
This wasn't that far from the truth, because soon after Bella hung-up, a nurse walked in and asked her to follow her. She guided Bella to a room with a camera mounted on a tripod. The nurse had Bella take off her gown and took a few pictures of her breasts. These pictures would be posted on the clinic's website for people interested in getting work done to see. Of course, Bella knew full well that the people likely to see these pictures were probably going to be either teenaged boys, lesbians, or perverts. Once she was done with the pictures, Bella returned to her room, only to find Dr. Mullis there waiting for her. He had a marker in hand. "Hello Bella. How are you feeling?"
"Good, I guess," said Bella.
"That's good," said Dr. Mullis. "Well I'm going to mark you up before surgery."
"Alright." Bella took off her gown again and Dr. Mullis started drawing circles around on chest, where he was going to make the incisions. Soon he was done and Bella was being wheeled into surgery. Another nurse came up to Bella and stuck an IV in her arm.
The nurse smiled. "Okay, just lay back and try counting backwards from ten and in a little bit you'll start to feel a bit numb."
Bella took a deep breath and waited for the drugs to take effect. "Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five. Hey, I'm not feeling it. How long should it take for me to..."
The next thing Bella knew, she was sitting in the passenger seat of a car. She turned to her left to see that the driver was Alice. "Alice?"
"Oh you're awake," said Alice. "Great."
"Where are we go...?" Bella cut herself off when she looked down and saw her newly inflated breasts. "Oh my god! Are these mine?"
"You bet your ass they're yours," said Alice. "And let me just tell you, I am glad you had the surgery."
Bella kept looking at her chest. "Oh my god! This is so much better than I'd hoped."
"You can saw that again." Alice pulled into the parking lot for a motel. They got out of the car and went inside. They passed a creepy guy at the front desk, who couldn't stop staring at Bella's chest. When Alice paid for the room, he was so distracted that she was able to hand him some monopoly money. The two made their way to their motel room. Alice jumped on the bed, a smile on her face. "Okay Bella. Show me dem titties."
"If you insist." Bella took of her top and threw it to the ground. She undid her bra.
"Shake those puppies around!" said Alice.
Bella shook her implants around. She noticed a pole out of the corner of her eye and started grinding up against it. "Do you like this baby?"
"Oh yes!" Alice undid her jeans and started stroking her clit. "Oh yes! More! More! More!"
Just then, the creepy guy from the front desk burst in. Bella and Alice ran to cover up. Bella saw that the creepy guy had a gun in his hand. No, not a gun. It was a squirt gun. He popped his head out of the room and fired three shots of water down the hallway. "Ya want some more of that! Well do ya!"
Suddenly, there was a green flash of light. Bella was briefly blinded and when her vision came to, she saw that the creepy guy's head had been blown off. "Oh my god!"
"What's going on?" said Alice.
As if to answer her question, two giant blobs of cotton candy, who were shaped like humans, entered the room. They were carrying guns. One of the blobs raised his arm. "We're not here to hurt you."
"Speak for yourself." The other blob raised his gun and pointed it at Alice.
The first blob turned to him. "Come on, we talked about this. No more killing."
"You talked about it," said the other blob. "I was busy cleaning my blaster."
"Big surprise," said the first blob. "You know you never listen to me."
"Sure I do," said the other blob. "You're just boring."
While the two were arguing, Bella ran to the mini-fridge and found a bottle of water. She took off the cap and threw the water at the two blobs. "Take this!"
The two blobs screamed as the water hit them. The second blob turned to the first. "I'm so sorry I never listened to you."
"No," said the first blob. "I shouldn't have tried to change you. I should've known you were fine just the way you were."
"I loved how you always tried." The two blob melted, merging into one body.
"Oh my god!" said Alice. "Bella, that was so brave."
"Don't mention it sweetheart." Bella took Alice in her arms. "Let's make love baby."
"Oh yes, take me now." Bella threw Alice to the bed, undressing her with economical speed. "You're so sexy when you save me from sentient blobs of cotton candy."
"It's all just a regular day for me." Bella got on Alice. "Now scream for me."
Alice let out her sexiest moan.
"Louder!" said Bella.
Alice moaned louder.
"Louder!" said Bella.
Alice moaned even louder.
"Louder!" said Bella. "Scream like I'm fucking you like you've never been fucked before!"
Just then Bella woke up. She saw her dad standing over her bed with a confused look on his face. "Hey Charlie."
"Hey sweetie," he said. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," said Bella.
"Um okay," said Charlie. "Hey, before you woke up you said something. Can you repeat that?"
If you couldn't tell, this is a troll fic.