Hi guys this is my latest fiction I've been working on. It's obviously a Zim fic, but I'm taking a different more realistic approach. Let me know what you guys think. I'm pretty sure that you'll enjoy it though.
"Dib! Bring your four-eyed antisocial ass down here!"
Dib opened his eyes reluctantly. Oh so reluctantly. He lied in his bed cluttered with paranormal files from his cabinet, a pound of weed separated into a few dime bags, some porn mags and two pistols (with empty clips of course). He slowly but surely turned his head to the right, attempting to peer at his alarm clock in order to see what time it was. God knows why he has an alarm, considering the fingernail to chalkboard screeching of his sister's voice woke him up every day.
He couldn't see past his head fur. All that damn hair growing out of his head blocked his view.
"Ugh. Fuck the time." He muttered to himself.
He sat up at a snail's pace. His vision was blurry, and he rubbed his eyes with his left hand ass he groped for his glasses on his nightstand with his right hand.
"Dib!" Gaz yelled again.
"Eat a dick Gaz!" Dib yelled back.
He threw his covers off and slid out of bed to begin preparing for his ffirst day of 10th grade. He alreagy had on a pair of black, somewhat baggy jeans and his limited addition Chuck Taylor steel toed boots. He won them in a "Most Unusual Footwear" contest.
As he searched for his shirt, in the background he heard the stomping of his perturbed sister as she stormed her way up the stairs.
He had found hes shirt and he was somewhat looking downward while fiddling with the opening.
"3. 2. 1. And…"
His room door flew open and Gaz hurled the kitchens chef knife directly at Dib's head. He merely craned his neck to one side and the knife whizzed past him, lodging into the wall near the window. He continued giving all of his attention to his shirt as he slid it over his head. After silently completing his routine, making his bed, hiding his porn, putting away those files and packing those guns into his bag, Dib hunched into a backwards lean and strutted past Gaz out of his room as if she wasn't there.
"I'm at Zim's when you need me. Try not to take long. I'm making toast on the way out. Want some toast?"
"Fuck you."
"I'll make you some toast," he said grinning to himself.
Down the stairs he went, trench coat and all. One last stop. The hallway mirror. He gazed at himself. He appeared to be high. Or an insomniac. Dark circles under his eyes, the sclera (the white part of the eye) turning red, and his glasses only enlarged the apparenty exhaustion filled appendages. He made toast for Gaz and himself then left his home to go see Zim.
Down the street he walked observing how other teenagers were smiling and talking amongst themselves as they ran, jogged, skipped and rolled themselves and each other to hi-skool.
"Idiots" Dib muttered to himself.
He stopped at the walkway indicating Zim's yard. Not a gnome in sight for a few years and he was happy with that. Stun lasers hurt like a mofo.
Knocking on the door and 5 minutes of waiting brought Zim to his front door. Dib, lately only moderately surprised by alien boy's antics, inspected his trendy attire.
Zim had taking a liking to hip-hop and rap music in recent years, and decided to adopt their way of life. Sorta. He's still Zim. Just Zim with baggy pants, jewelry (shiny), large shirts, and overrated expensive footwear. He tried selling drugs like in the songs he heard sometimes, but obliterated most of his customers and suppliers for constantly knocking on his door. He can rap too, but has to write his lyrics to get it in traditional English lingo, instead of using his unnecessarily formal speech patterns.
"greetings Dib-monkey" Zim said smirking.
"How can you insult me while greeting me Zim?" Dib said slightly frustrated and confused with his frienemy (friend/enemy).
"Not important Dib-monster. Zim has a question. 3 Days Grace or Nirvana?"
Dib grimaced a little. Zim always asks him questions concerning his opinion on some subject or another. Its damn near a punishment game because every time he gives the wrong answer some form of physical pain is inflicted on him.
"Dammit Zim, I really don't feel like-"
"Choose worm! Or I'll feed you to Gir with a side of tacos!"
"Almost on queue, the little SIR unit came running outside and circled Dib in an almost tribal manner, singing of the deliciously doom filled side tacos of deathness. Zim sighed at his mistake of mentioning the robotic imp. Dib shared his despair.
"Ummm… I guess I pick 3 Da-"
Dib's mouth was shut with a combat boot to his face. He rolled backwards with the momentum of the blow, landing flat in the middle of the street. A dust trailed marking the path that his body traveled settled slowly as the sudden excitement mellowed to silence. Zim marched to the paranormal investigators side, looking down on him with a look of contempt on his face.
"Do you have the brain worms Dib-stupid?" he yelled.
"…Ow." Was Dib's only response.
"Nirvana is obviously far superior to 3 Days Grace. Stupid human."
Dib simply stared at him from his position on the on the asphalt, doing his best to ignore the screaming nerve endings all over his body and his pounding head.
"Zim."
"Yes human?"
"I'm kicking your ass after school."
Zim looked slightly confused and proceeded to help Dib stand.
"But do you not have prior arrangements after classes today?"
Dib thought, puzzled, pondered, contemplated.
"Shit!" He shouted facepalming.
"Fucking Torque! He said he was gonna kill me on the first day of school."
"No you fool! The Zita! A potential mate to carry all your little worm baby eggs! She is your focus!"
"Dude! You pushing me on her is why I'm getting this immenent ass whoopin'. Ugh! Let me just grab my stuff so we can go."
Dib's things were scattered all over Zim's yard after the brief assault on his face. He proceeded to pick up the contents of his bag.
"Dib-thing, is that not human weaponry?" he asked gesturing towards the pistols. "Why not use those to rid yourself of the smelly gorilla child?"
"Tch. No ammo."
As their conversation continued, in the distance Dib could see his sister speed walking down the block. He almost smiled at the sight of his sister enjoying the toast he made her.
As she drew closer, Dib was the first to speak. "How's the toast Gaz?"
"Shitty. Tastes like Gir's waffles."
"Oh Gaz-human! Greetings, how are you this-"
"Bite me insect."
The two boys stared at each other as she continued past them.
"What's with her?" Zim asked.
Dib shrugged. "Guess she didn't like the toast."
Dib finally feeling more relaxed, reached into his trench coat pocket and pulled out a rolled joint.
"Got a light?" he asked.
"Hmm…"
Zim began feeling around his pockets. Nothing. Then, his face brightened as if he had an epiphany.
"Hold it above your head! Zim has an idea."
Dib raised his weed in the air and Zim, making use of his pak, proceeded to shoot the tip of his joint. It was properly lit and Dib laughed.
"Nice. You're aim is improving too."
"Yes, yes. Zim IS amazing isn't he?"
As they began their trek to skool, screams and cries of anguish could be heard as a fire caused by Zim's laser ripped and roared through half of the homes on the block.
A/N: So what do you think? I kinda like it honestly. It seems really interesting and the concept that I have in my head is looking pretty good on paper. Don't worry guys, Zim is still filled with the urge to destroy and conquer and Dib is still out to prove he's not crazy, but things are gonna be different this go around.