AN: Hi. Here's a another calamari story. I hope you enjoy it. This took a lot longer to write than it should have, despite its short length. It's hard to write with school in the way. Hopefully I can update both Cafe Muse and my ChikaYou story sometime this month. But enough about that. I hope you enjoy this fluff without plot.
Ciao. c:
Mari loved how warm Kanan was. Whether it be on the coldest night in the dead of winter or in the middle of the bone-chilling waters of the ocean, Mari was able to feel the faintest aura of warmth that would creep her skin and permeate her soul with a comforting heat, leaving the fuzzy residues of love in her chest.
Mari loved how strong Kanan was. Whether it be hefting oxygen tanks to and fro or in the middle of Aqours practice, Mari could see her muscles tense and relax, and Mari would always wonder how someone so powerful could be so graceful.
Mari loved how sweet Kanan was. Whether it be supporting the others through words of encouragement or in the middle of a night of passion, Mari could see the love shining in her brilliant purple eyes, and Mari would always wonder how someone like her could somehow turn cold in an instant.
The sound of sheets rustling disturbed Mari's thoughts. She looked over her shoulder, only to see Kanan scooting closer to tuck her knees behind Mari's, in a sort of question-mark formation. A strong, yet gentle arm snaked underneath Mari's arm to wrap around her middle, and Mari felt herself being pulled closer to an overwhelming source of warmth. Mari sighed contently, taking in Kanan's scent—the strange mix of mikan and the ocean was always a comforting one. She melted into Kanan's one-arm embrace, a small smile creeping onto her face.
Mari loved it when Kanan spooned her.
"Kanan?" Mari whispered, turning her head back to face the wall. "Are you awake?"
A husky grunt was her answer.
Mari let out a breathy laugh. "Usually you'd be sleeping like a rock."
"Had a dream," Kanan husked out. Mari could feel Kanan's nose burying itself in her hair.
"Oh?" Mari asked coyly, her accent tinting her English. "A dream?"
"Yes, a dream." Mari laughed; she loved it when Kanan spoke English. Whether it was a joke or not, the sound of Kanan's accent was almost as tempting as her wanting voice. Almost.
"What kind of dream?"
Kanan hummed throatily, and Mari felt herself being pulled even closer. "A dream about you."
Mari's eyebrows shot up. "Oh? Was it a—"
"No, not that kind of dream. It was…something else." Kanan added the last part so quietly, Mari had to strain to catch it. But when she did, Mari could hear her lover's somberness underneath the thick layer of fatigue.
"Was it a bad dream?" Mari asked softly.
"…Kind of."
"Was it about me leaving again?"
Kanan didn't answer—she didn't need to. Her silence was all the confirmation that Mari needed. Mari sighed out of her nose, and twisted herself around so that she can face Kanan in all of her bare glory. Everything from the collarbone down was hidden by the duvet covering them, but Mari spotted the tiniest splotch of purple poking out from the covers, a reminder of the spontaneous fit of passion they had an hour ago.
"Oh, Kanan," Mari mumbled, twining her legs in between Kanan's. Mari could feel a heat dangerously close to her center, but she felt no lust. All she felt was the overwhelming amount of love Kanan never failed to give her.
Kanan gave a small quirk of a smile. "It's dumb, I know."
"It's not dumb," Mari said, reaching up to cup Kanan's warm, soft face. She ran the pad of her thumb across Kanan's lower lip. Kanan's lips were always flawlessly smooth after sex, Mari found out. "You were looking out for me, and you wanted the best for all of us."
Mari felt Kanan's smile turn into the smallest of frowns. "But in the end, I ended up making things worse—"
"Oh, shut up," Mari exclaimed in English, adding in a roll of her eyes. "We agreed to put that all of that behind us, didn't we?"
Kanan's smile returned, bigger this time. "You're right. Sorry."
"You know, you apologize too much."
"Sorry."
"You're doing it on purpose now."
"Sorry."
"Listen."
Kanan let out a chuckle before leaning in to close the distance between them. Mari happily met her halfway, moving her hands down to Kanan's neck to pull her closer. The arm wrapped around her waist tugged her even closer, and Mari could feel herself growing dizzy from Kanan's warmth and light-headed from Kanan's scent. Their chests pressed against one another, holding each other in a tight embrace as if they wanted to meld into one being. The thought made Mari smile into the kiss, and she had to pull back to regain her breath.
"Good enough for an apology?" Kanan asked. Her purple eyes twinkled in a self-satisfied way, and Mari felt her heart melt at the sight.
"Yeah," she said, "it's good enough for me."
Mari felt Kanan's body rumble as she chuckled. "That's great," Kanan murmured, touching their noses together. They basked in silence for a while, the lullaby of the ticking clock above them and their steady heartbeats lulling them to sleep. Mari closed her eyes and could feel herself drifting in and out of consciousness, but despite her efforts to fight off the fatigue, that beautiful, comforting scent of mikan and the ocean was calling to her, beckoning her to—
"I love you."
Kanan's words startled Mari back to awareness like a bucket of cold water. Mari opened her eyes and backed away, and saw Kanan staring down at her with all the seriousness in the world. She didn't even blink once.
"W-what?" Mari stammered.
"I love you," Kanan repeated, her gaze unwavering.
Then Mari saw it. The tiniest glint of fear hiding in Kanan's brilliant purple eyes like a timid animal. Realization slowly dawned on Mari as sympathy pulled her heartstrings. "You had that dream again, didn't you?"
Kanan gave a sheepish smile as a response. She had a horrible habit of never admitting things, Mari noticed a long time ago. A horrible, horrible habit the both of them shared.
Mari didn't remember when Kanan first told her about the dream—it had been such a long time ago. What she did remember, however, were the tears streaming down Kanan's face. Mari remembered how her heart cracked with her lover's voice whenever Kanan spoke. Mari remembered Kanan's heaving breaths and trembling body. Mari remembered Kanan's eyes and how they showed so much pain and anguish, yet Kanan's words were ones of empty assurance as she muttered, "I'm fine" over and over again.
Over the years, Kanan got better at composing herself, but Mari never failed to see the fear.
"It started off the same way, with me drowning," Kanan mumbled, her mask crumbling slowly. "It was getting harder and harder to breathe, but then when I was about to give in, I saw you. You were sinking, but somehow you were much farther than me. I wanted to help you, I really did, but t-then—"
Mari hushed her softly, wiping away a tear that managed to slip from Kanan's eye. "It's okay," Mari mumbled, "it's okay. I'm still here."
Mari could feel Kanan's jaw tense in her palm. "I—I know. I know you are." Kanan's voice sounded empty, as if she didn't believe any of the words escaping her mouth. "But sometimes I wonder if you're going to leave one day, the same way you did—"
Mari gently placed her thumb over Kanan's lips, successfully cutting her off. "You are my best friend, my confidant, my lover, and my first. How in the world would I be able to leave you?"
Kanan's throat rolled as she swallowed, her eyes shining with unspoken emotions of happiness, reassurance, and love. "I don't deserve you, you know?" She whispered.
Mari didn't say anything—how could she, with the way Kanan was looking at her? Instead, she opted to replace the thumb resting on Kanan's lips with her own lips, giving Kanan the softest kiss she could manage. Kanan returned it with all the tenderness she could muster, and Mari couldn't help but wonder how someone so strong can be so gentle at the same time. She loved it all, really: the pros, the cons, the contradictions. Everything added up to the beautiful soul in front of her. Yes, Kanan was simple, Mari had to admit that much. But she didn't mind it—in fact, she embraced it.
There was something about simplicity that Mari loved; it was a refreshing breath, a break from the blinding gaudiness of the riches she was born with. She was constantly surrounded with glitz and glamour—hell, even her hair and eyes were the color of gold. Who can blame her for wanting to get away from all that?
Mari found solace in the simple things. She found peace in the quiet, in the flowers growing in the cracks of the sidewalks, in the constant motion of the waves, in the color of the sky. They were all mundane and simple things, things that she knew many would overlook without a second thought. And when she met Kanan, Mari found solace in their talks. She found peace in Kanan's words, in Kanan's musings, in Kanan's sparkling eyes, in Kanan's arms.
In short, Mari found peace in Kanan in general.
Before she knew it, Mari pulled back from their kiss. Kanan slowly opened her closed eyes and gave her a puzzled look before it melted into that charming, charming smile of hers. Mari thought her heart was going to explode in her chest from how fast and how hard it was beating.
"I love you so much," Mari whispered, her words carrying all the love in the universe.
"I love you, too," Kanan muttered, her smile never wavering.
Soon, sleep took over the both of them, blanketing them with the warmth of their love as they dreamt of their future together, filled with warm, comforting thoughts that kept the nightmares away.