(A/N: Okay well, first of all…I've never written a story for the Underland Chronicles. So please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please…hundred years later….please, don't be too hard on me.)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Underland Chronicles, the fantabulous Suzanne Collins does. Or I don't own School House Rock. (P.S.) School House Rock, completely does rock!
Me: "Welcome to 'Questions, questions, questions'! I am your host Strange."
Audience: claps
Me: "Today, we have a bunch of fantabulous people here at the studio. Many of you know them, love them and want to get "jiggy" with them."
Audience: crickets chirp
Me: "Alrighty then…let's have our first visitor Gregor…Gregor… (Ten minutes later) Um…Gregor the Warrior!"
Audience: cheers
(Gregor walks in and sits down.)
Me: "So, Gregor thank you for joining us today. I am...we are all excited that you're here."
Audience: cheers even more
Gregor: "Err…you're welcome?"
Me: claps "Coolio! So Gregor, tell us about your family?"
Gregor: "Well, my dad disappeared, my grandma is sick, I have two sisters. Pretty normal I guess."
Me: "Okay, weird family. Moving on. What do you think of Luxa?"
Gregor: "She can be a real royal pain but she's okay. Plus she's pretty."
Audience: whistles
Gregor: blushes
Me: "So…what do you think of…" dramatic music plays "cockroaches!"
Gregor: "Uh…I, truly respect them. They saved my sister, help us, they are great negotiators…."
Me: "Right…next up is Boots!"
(Boots takes a seat by Gregor)
Boots: "Hi, you! Hi!"
Me: "Isn't she adorable?"
Audience: "Aw."
Me: "So boots, did you like the Underland?"
Boots: "Ye-es!"
Me: "What types of things did you see, down there?"
Boots: "I ride bat!"
Me: "Coolio! What else, sweetie?"
Boots: "I ride big bat!"
Me: "Yes…I know you did. Now please…continue."
Boots: "I see rat!"
Me: "R-r-r-rat?" hides behind couch
Boots: "Bad rat!"
Me: rolls in a ball and sucks thumb
Gregor: "Are you…um…okay?"
Me: "Yeah…" sits back down "Um…so Boots what else?"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Pupil?"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Pupil?"
Gregor: clears throat "Ahem. She means purple."
Me: laughs nervously "Right. So what else?"
Boots: "Pu-
Me: "Besides purple."
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Um…little girl, its purple! Not 'pu-ple'!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Blue!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Green!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!" (A/N: So this happened to me last week, when I baby sat. It actually went on for hours! Unfortunately I lost.)
Me: "Red!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Orange!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Pink!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "White!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Yellow!"
Gregor: "Um…."
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Gray!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Shut up!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Quiet!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Leave me alone!"
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: "Fine you win! Pu-ple!!!!!!!!!!"
Boots: giggles
Gregor: "Heh, heh, a two year old beat you." snickers
Me: glares "Moving on…up next is Luxa."
Audience: "Hoot, hoot!" (Claps here, hurrahs there and huzzahs everywhere)
Luxa: "Hi…"
Me: "Hello, dear. First question…" stares at paper
Luxa: "Um…yes?"
Me: "WHAT?"
Luxa: "You were going to ask me a question."
Me: "I was?"
Gregor and Luxa: "Yeah." both blush
Me: "Oh, right." looks at paper "Here we go…What do you think of Gregor?"
Luxa: "He's…nice?"
Me: "Uh…huh. What else?"
Luxa: "He's not that great on the brains but he's great with swords."
Gregor: "Gee, thanks."
Luxa: "Welcome."
Me: "Coolio! So Gre-
Boots: interrupts "Pu-ple!"
Me: rolls eyes "Yeah, like whatever."
Gregor: "That's my sister…."
Me: "Like no freaking duh!"
Gregor: "Err…"
Luxa: stands up "Don't talk to him that way!"
Me: "What did I say?"
Luxa: "You said something mean!"
Me: "Nuh-uh!"
Luxa: "Uh-huh!"
Gregor: "Luxa…saying, 'no freaking duh,' is not a bad thing."
Me: "Aha! I told you, pretty girl."
Luxa: "Yes it is."
Gregor: "No."
Luxa: "Yes."
Me: "Red is the color of an apple."
Boots: "Pu-ple!"
Me: smacks self
Luxa: "Nuh-uh!" looks at me "Weirdo…"
Gregor: "Uh-huh!"
Boots: "I ride bat!"
Me: "Oh, my…muffins."
Audience: le gasp
Me: faints
Luxa: (Continues arguing) "Nuh-uh."
Ripred: "Eh, what?"
Me: stands up "Oh, I thought I saw a giant…rat."
Ripred: "Shut up!"
Me: whimpers and hides
Gregor: "Nuh-uh!"
Luxa: "Uh-huh!"
Boots: walks to Ripred "Big rat!"
Ripred: hisses at Boots
Boots: "Oh…bad rat." backs away from Ripred
Ripred: "That's it little creature, get away." looks at Strange
Me: "Eeek, I go squeak." hides again
Ripred: "Are you mocking me?"
Me: "Mama…"
Boots: "Gre-go."
Gregor: "Wait, Boots! Nuh-huh."
Luxa: "Yes."
Me (In a bored tone): "Orange is the color of…of…of…of…."
Boots: "O-wange."
Me: "Oh yeah…."
Boots: giggles
Luxa: "Yes!"
Gregor: "No!"
Luxa: "Yes!"
Gregor: "No!"
Ripred: "Hey, human! The one who doesn't know her colors."
Me: faints
Boots: "She die?"
Me: "I'm here."
Luxa: "Yes!"
Ripred: "You got shrimp in cream sauce?"
Me: "Um…"
Ripred: "I'm waiting."
Me: laughs nervously "I ate it all."
Ripred: "Okay then, you look appetizing."
Me: "Get the man…errs, the thing, his shrimp!"
Ripred: "Excuse me?"
Me: "Eeek!"
(People come with big bowels of shrimp in cream sauce)
Luxa: "Yes."
Gregor: "No."
Luxa: "Yes."
Gregor: "No"
Luxa: "Yes."
(An hour later, Gregor and Luxa are still arguing, Ripred is eating and I start singing.)
Me: sings "Well every person you can know
And
every place that you can go,
and anything that you can show,
you
know they're nouns.
A
noun's a special kind of word,
it's any name you ever heard,
I
find it quite interesting,
a noun's a person, place, or thing…."
window breaks, little kids cry
Ripred: "Don't ever do that again."
Me: "Okay…"
(A/N: Tune in to find the ending of…'Questions, questions, questions'. Review please! Four at least! Strange)
