Yeah yeah I know, I suck for taking like all year to update and then when I do update, it's not my exhisting story. So okay. You know what? Bring it on!! Pitchforks and torches and all that jazz. Oh and uhhh….enjoy my knew story. Please R&R. Love you all.
As I gazed into his deep bottomless eyes, I realized what I had done to this unbreakable man. The bright glow that used to light up his eyes every time he would gaze longingly at me, was now replaced with an agony so vicious, so tangible I swear you could almost touch it. All I wanted do was melt into his eyes where I could stay with him always, warm and safe from making the decision that I knew was eminent. More than anything I wanted to just know how I felt about him. If only...
I could feel the intense heat radiating from where he stood, not four inches from my torn heart, the warmth cascading over me in calming waves. I was subconsciously allowing myself to be pulled closer and closer still to his awaiting embrace. " Bella..." he whispered. In my mind I was still completely unaware of the consequences that would surely follow my actions. I was allowing myself to be swept up in the heat and strange serenity of the present. " Jacob..." I cooed. I could hear his breathing growing louder as he closed the last few centimeters separating my undecided lips, from his hungry ones. As soon as his lips brushed mine, I was his for the taking. My body seemed to liquify under his burning touch. I tried my best to remain present as his supple lips molded around mine, encasing my entire mouth in a blanket of warmth. Without warning he thrust his arms around me in an air tight hug, smothering me against his perfectly toned muscles never once breaking our heated kiss.
From within the safe confines of his strong arms, I let my entire body go limp. He effortlessly held me up against his chest as I slowly brought my arms up from their respective places beside me, only to let them wind themselves around the back of his smooth neck and tangle in his mess of thick dark hair. I felt Jake begin to slip over the line of passion into a more desperate need for more. For me.
I hadn't even realized that we were moving until I felt the solid siding of his garage. I heard myself sigh as his smooth lips became more fervent, and he pushed me harder into the side of the garage. I felt my stomach muscles begin to squirm and tighten, as torrents of butterflies began to take flight in the deepest depths of my aching heart. My lungs were alight with the need for air. I began to wriggle around, begging for air when Jake suddenly tore his mouth from mine, gasping. " Wow...I don't know how much longer I would have made it without breathing. I would have died. Then again...I guess that's just the small price I would have to pay to get to kiss you, Bells." Jacob teased. I gave myself a chance to catch my breath before responding with a breathy " Uh huh." Jake's mouth seem to split as his broad smile danced across his lovable face.
As hard as he was trying to cover it up, I could still see what my presence here was doing to him on the inside. I could only watch helplessly as the pain from his eyes spilled onto his face, washing away any traces of hope and happiness, only to leave his gentle lips twisted up in a grimace and his features cast down with no chance of letting light reach them ever again. He sighed in defeat as he slid down the side of the garage, and let his head collapse into the makeshift cradle his hands formed. " Bella, " Jacob whispered. " I..I just...can't anymore. I just can't. I'm not strong enough." I could feel the fault lines of my weak heart begin to tear. " Jake.." I started before I was cut off by Jake's hand suddenly pressing my mouth closed gently with his fingers. " No Bella." he said, allowing the tears to flow freely now. " Every time you leave me, even for the shortest time...I die a little. Each time you say goodbye, you slip even further away from me. I love you Bella, with all my heart. You leaving me is killing me. Don't leave me anymore. Stop saying goodbye. I love you. " I could feel the hot tears glide down my flushed cheeks as my feet began to move of their own accord. Somewhere far away I was faintly aware that I was leaving Jacob broken and sobbing, behind. " Bella..." Jacob cried.
All I wanted do was to run back, seize him in my arms and tell him that everything was going to be okay, that we would work it out. But everything wasn't going to be okay. There was no way to work it out. And so I kept walking; past my truck parked defiantly outside the crumpled looking shack, past countless trees that all looked at me like they knew and most importantly, I walked out. Out of Jacob's life.
For now.