I'm smarter than they think I am, believe me. I'm craftier too. The others, they were stupid. I slowly stretch out as I think of those two. Ah, that doesn't matter anymore. I'm all alone now. Well, almost all alone. There's the multitude of boxes surrounding me and an assortment of small toys and game pieces I'm sure were thought to be lost forever. Those things don't really keep my interest however.
Although, I must say that I love it here in this closet. There's always food, always shelter, and always entertainment. I squeeze my way into the corner of the closet and quickly –as is my nature- munch on a piece of dropped and forgotten popcorn, white cheddar popcorn.
I'm getting older though and it's unfortunate to say the least. The boxes upon boxes of games before me seem higher than they once did, making me sit and stare for longer than my safety can allow. I'm fast too, faster than those others definitely.
This popcorn is less stale than I'm used to, it takes me back and I fall into my thoughts. It was only a few years ago that I tasted my first piece of white cheddar popcorn. The room had been dark for days. Which is an oddity in this house, but I wouldn't say that I wasn't expecting the intrusion of light once it came.
There was yelling, bringing me anticipation and nervousness. I hid between a box marked with the word "Splat" and another marked "Sorry" and waited for them to come, as they always would.
Creak, slam, scrape, snap, and then light was filling my room. Only moments later, the door opened again. I perked up, my ears filtering out all other sounds but the ones they made, and I listened.
"They're fighting over the television again," the boy stated clearly as he looked down at the girl.
"Which means it's off limits to us for the rest of the night. This stinks," the young girl said with a huff. She crossed her arms and looked away toward the door.
I watched as the boy nearly jumped with excitement. "I have an idea. Lizzie, go get some snacks and bring them here. I'll be right back." With that, the boy promptly darted from the room and I looked up at the girl who stood for a moment watching him leave. She smiled before running out as well. I slowly crept to the other side of the room so that I could hide a little better. Getting caught wasn't an option.
They returned quickly and I pushed myself as far as I could from them. The girl was holding a bag of food while the boy held something indistinguishable at his side.
"In here?" The girl asked hesitantly.
"What better place? This way we won't be bothered."
"Yeah, you know they'll be looking for us to solve whatever just happened," the girl pointed out, making the boy nod toward her. He turned the light off and opened whatever it was that he was holding and the room lit up once again.
I sat in my usual place. It was cramped, and I could tell that both were a little uncomfortable. They sat as far from each other as they could while still being able to see the illuminated screen on the boy's lap.
I scurried quietly for a bit so that I could get the best view of them as they snacked and stared at the device, which filled the room with many different types of sounds. The two stayed quiet however, which was a little unnerving because I was getting bored.
All that changed however. I observed them surreptitiously scoot closer and closer toward each other until they were hip to hip. Neither seemed to mind any longer, the room seemed bigger to me as well. They laughed together, the girl's laugh becoming more and more of a giggle as the events on the screen rolled on.
After a particularly long bout of laughter the girl gazed up at the boy momentarily. Although her view moved back to the device when she realized that he had noticed and that he was looking back down at her. She seemed a bit flustered but attempted to hide it. The boy smiled, noticing her actions just as I had. He leisurely moved his arm to drape around her shoulder. I noticed her tiny pert smile as she leaned into him and relaxed for what seemed like the first time the entire night.
The light continued to pour out into the room for quite some time, but I wasn't bored any longer. I kept my trained eyes steady on the pair. The girl gradually closed her eyes, her head propped sweetly on the boy's shoulder. The boy however was entirely drawn into the light, not noticing that she'd fallen asleep.
When the room went dark again, the boy finally looked down at the girl nestled into his shoulder. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing steadily. The device on his lap lit up once again but no sound came out of it.
He stared down at her and his features softened. I must admit she did look pretty peaceful. I was utterly captured by the moment, I wanted more. The boy lifted a hand to her cheek and brushed a few hairs behind her ear. He must have stared at her for quite awhile and eventually she stirred, possibly from his light touches or maybe because of the loss of noise from the device that still lay on his lap.
She opened her eyes slowly and blinked a few times, adjusting to the lack of light in the room. He looked nervous and flustered all of the sudden and quickly snapped the device shut and stood. The girl seemed to be pretty shocked by his abrupt movements and almost fell over because of it. Eventually though, the boy pulled the hanging string for the light and she stood awkwardly.
They stood for a few seconds, looking off in different directions, unsure of what to say I guess; until finally the girl looked up at him meeting his previously wayward gaze. I scampered a little closer to take note of what was going to happen. Both of them looked completely uncertain of what to do.
The girl noticeably gathered her courage and simply put her fist into the air between their bodies. The boy exhaled as he stared at her fisted hand and eventually did the same, which turned into a mirroring dance of two fists colliding with one another, concluding in a sharp salute.
They gave each other a friendly smile before one of them pulled the long string that hung in the middle of the room and exited; leaving me in the dark to pick up the mess of scattered white cheddar popcorn kernels that were spread all about the room.
I've always been an excellent observer. I suppose that's what has kept me free and alive all this time. I must admit that this white cheddar popcorn tastes just as good as it did then. It makes me feel young again.
While moving farther back in the closet I come across something I haven't seen in a long time. It's a hair pin of some kind, located on the first shelf, right next to the game imprinted with the word "Aggravation". I step quietly along the object, feeling its particular covering beneath my padded feet.
This brings me back as well…
It was a few years later than the popcorn incident. I was cleaning myself as meticulously as I usually do when the door slammed open. I could hear a quiet, huffy, angry noise coming from the intruder but identification was impossible due to a lack of light. I decided from the start that whoever it was, they were very upset. I moved quietly to get a better angle.
Moments later, the door swung open then closed once again, except this time the light was pulled on.
It was the boy and the girl like usual. They were and still are almost my only means of company. No one else really visits except them. However they hadn't been coming to see me very often.
The boy looked at her sympathetically for a moment, apparently letting the girl compose herself and not wanting to be intrusive. Eventually, her tensed shoulders slacked and her eyes met his.
"Sometimes I just can't believe her," the girl said, sounding less angry and more sad than I had expected. "What nerve? Where does she get off thinking she can come in here and-"
The boy just stood there, listening intently. Over the years I've realized just how good he is at this.
"We only see her on holidays and she hasn't lived here for years. What gives her the right?" The girl continues to rant and the boy looks confused as if he has no idea what's going on. Still, he keeps his mouth shut and just listens.
The two of them had changed a lot since the popcorn incident. They both looked much older and in turn were much taller. The girl's once short brown hair was now long and usually straight, however tonight it had big dramatic curls in it. She was also wearing makeup. Which wasn't really a big deal, however tonight it was much darker and she was obviously wearing more than usual.
The boy was much taller than her and was very well built from some sort of training I remember them talking about at some point in time. His hair had grown out a little too.
The girl reached into her hair angrily, scraping at a single metal barrette and hurling it across the expanse of my room. She looked a little distraught and still he stayed silent.
She finally looked up at the boy, and really looked at him. She sighed before speaking again, "Casey, for some reason thinks that I need a makeover. She comes home after being away for months and thinks that she can just… I don't know; dictate personal aspects of my life." Her eyes exuded sadness even more than her voice could, making the boy finally speak up.
"When have you ever known your sister to not mean well? I know that it seems like an attack Liz, but I'm positive that she just wants to help in the only way she knows how," the boy said sincerely.
The girl looked away, contemplating his words. Soon, her eyes met his again.
"You're right, she probably does mean well, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it hurts a little that she would tell me that I don't look 'right'. She might as well have just slapped me in the face and called me ugly. She had the audacity to say to me: "you'll never get a guy if you're sporty all the time, show some femininity". Look at her love life, like she has any room to tell me how to get a guy. She's only been running away from the one guy that truly loves her for years!" Her sadness quickly turned to anger as she spoke.
"Exactly Liz, all the more reason not to listen to her. You know that she loves you and that she'd do anything for you. She probably thinks she's helping," the boy stated calmly.
"Yeah, I guess so. You know, over the years Casey has gotten really bad about projecting her insecurities onto others, mainly me. Maybe I'm thinking too much into this," the girl, obviously calmed, said as she tapped a freshly painted finger to her chin.
"Nah, never thinking too much," the boy said with a slight smirk.
A moment passed and once again the girl's shoulders slumped. "She just made me feel so…" The girl trailed slightly. However she was cut off, making a low "oomf" sound as strong arms pulled her forward.
They were embracing. The boy had his arms around her waist, circling completely around her back leaving no space between their bodies. Her arms slowly rose to grasp his upper arms in an awkward half-hug.
"Don't ever let anyone get to you like that, Liz. I know you and I know you're stronger than that. You've always been a shining example of someone who is comfortable with who they are. The only person that can let Casey 'dictate personal aspects of your life' is you. So don't let her." The boy spoke softly into her hair. So softly, that I had to move closer and perk up my ears just to hear. "Besides, do you really think that I'd hang out with you if you weren't pretty, no less be seen with you at school?" The girl hit him lightly on the arm. Afterwards, I could hear some light laughter from the boy. She just smiled.
"Thanks Edwin."
Her arms adjusted a little so that they were farther up, encircling his neck. They stayed like that for a few moments. Soon, the boy pulled his head back to look at her.
I shifted a little as I watched them stare at each other. I'm not sure how long they stared until finally, things got a little more interesting.
The boy's head dipped a little with obvious uncertainty. She slightly leaned in as well. Everything was moving so slowly, maybe it was just me though. She closed her eyes, but right as their lips were just inches from each other's, the girl moved her head away. Her grasp loosened and she lightly pushed him to let go.
She looked everywhere but at him. He however, kept determined eyes on hers. His eyes were stern, unyielding, and even a little saddened. Understandably so, I suppose. These were the little interactions that made me strive to live.
They parted a little and the girl's eyes finally met his once again. "You know what we haven't done in a long time?" She asked a little hesitantly.
The boy looked to have grown emotionless over the course of the last few moments. "What?" He asked apathetically.
"Our handshake, it's been years since the last time," she stated in an obvious attempt at salvaging the moment. She placed a strong fist in the air and awaited his reaction.
Eventually, he did react and with practiced ease, they followed through the motions of their old handshake. Only their once swift salute became more lax and less fluid, possibly due to the tension that thickened the air.
It was awhile until I saw them again after that day.
And now I stare at that forgotten hair pin, dusty from the neglect my room has been shown. Oh, that reminds me- about a week after this incident, the girl would come in alone. She'd sit or stand around in the dark and if it wasn't for my excellent eyesight I wouldn't have been able to see her plunge her hands into her hair or rub her close to crying eyes.
Once she actually spoke amongst all of the plunging and rubbing. Which of course caught me very off-guard, and I almost fell off the box corner I was quietly munching on.
"How could I be so stupid? We were finally going to…we almost- but I had to screw it up." The girl spoke quietly between exasperated sighs. "Why am I talking to myself? I'm starting to sound like Casey." Now I don't know who Casey is but if only she knew that she wasn't truly talking to herself. I was there.
I've realized that I live vicariously through them. Just a month later and I was already extremely bored. I missed them and all I wanted was for them to come back. I almost felt like it was my fault, but that could never be true. Edwin and Lizzie, the boy and the girl, it's amazing how little I truly know either of you. I soon developed such a strong sense of longing.
A longing that perhaps is still alive today.
Things went back to normal after awhile, and they didn't show. Over the past couple of years the visits that they used to share with me were becoming less and less common. It is almost an oddity for me to see them burst into this lonely game closet.
The effects of neglect are beginning to show with the amount of dust all about my room. Lacking even the presence of a hand or the brush of a body to stir up the allergens.
A little later, the darkness I had become so accustomed to was evacuated from my room. Like a beacon of light the door was wrenched open and two people entered.
The boy and the girl were facing each other when the center light was pulled on. The girl looked as if she had been crying. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her lips were puffy and moving in a shivering sort of fashion.
The boy looked down at her in a friendly way and moved some hair from her face. Luckily, I had a front row seat from the 3rd shelf that day.
"You okay, Liz?" The boy asked sadly.
"I'll be fine." She stated calmly as she rubbed her palms over her wet cheeks and ran her fingers under her eyes to dispel her drooping makeup. "I just…" A sob stopped all speech, it made her body convulse a little with its intensity. "I just, can't believe we're graduating. That we're moving out soon." She wiped at her face, looking embarrassed.
"Yeah, I know. You'll be fine though. You fit in everywhere you go." The boy said with a small smile.
"That's not it. College doesn't scare me." She said while trying to compose herself. She looked as if she had something important to say on this particular visit.
"What is it? You can tell me." The boy helped dry her face with his thumb.
The girl looked down and took a long pause.
"I just can't imagine not seeing you everyday." She said while still looking down. The boy seemed to have been a little taken aback by her words and the source of her crying, which essentially was completely because of him.
He gathered himself and craned his neck down so that he could look past the hair that shielded her eyes.
"Is that it?" She nodded solemnly but I could see her face and she had looked almost angry.
The boy let out a light chuckle. "Liz, we're only a call away. Plus, our schools aren't that far from each other. I'll visit you every weekend."
She looked up at him, her expression changing to one of calmness and relief.
The boy stuck his hands in his pockets and looked around my room. "I'm really gonna miss this closet." He said with a sigh before gazing back at her. "I'm really gonna miss you, Liz"
"Yeah, me too." She said through a sniffle.
She stared at him and he stared back. He casually removed his hands from his pockets and held her face in them. He dipped his head down and gave her a long lingering kiss on her forehead. It was a sweet gesture that made her smile, but when he pulled back, her smile was gone and in an instant her hands were gripping his upper arms. She lifted herself on her toes and placed her lips against his.
It wasn't long before the boy's lips were moving against hers and their bodies moved closer.
They stayed like that for awhile, the only movement I could see were lips moving and touching. When their faces parted they were hard of breathing, their hands still grasping the other's frame.
"I've wanted to do that for awhile." The girl said with a sigh, her tears forgotten. I'm not sure that the boy heard though because he just stared at her then moved to place their lips together once more.
That wasn't too long ago.
They've visited me quite often recently. Always awkward at first but still ending with their lips crushed against the others. I'd move around my room quietly so as to watch from the best angle.
Things have been getting more and more interesting over time. My biggest fear –besides some overweight exterminator- is that it will all end soon. I'll have nothing to look forward to.
I moved onto the second shelf to gnaw on a stray chess piece.
Now, I like to think of myself as pretty worldly but the noises these two are presently making are like nothing I've ever heard before.
It's so dark and I'm beginning to fear for my life. They've begun knocking boxes off the shelves. Are they mad at each other? Is this some form of deranged argument?
I heard a giggle, then a sigh and that oh so comfortable ceiling light illuminated the room. My eyes adjusted quickly and I slid back against the wall. I was too close.
"Ed, we're making a mess." The girl said light heartedly.
"Don't care." The boy said before lunging forward and attaching his lips roughly to the girl's. Contrary to how I thought she'd react to this, she seems oddly happy with the boy's tenacious assault.
Their lips were pressed together hard, their mouths opening and closing against the other's. This is new to me.
They shoved each other around the room, their faces never losing that connection. All I can hear is their heavy breathing and the banging of bodies being slammed against various areas of my room.
The boy finally released the girl's lips and his face moved into the crook of her neck. The girl's eyes closed serenely.
"Edwin, you promise that you'll visit me next weekend?" The girl asked breathlessly. Maybe the wind had gotten knocked out of her when her back hit the door.
"I promise Liz." The boy said against her neck. She wrapped her arms around his neck and she ran her hand through his hair.
I moved closer to get a better view. I figured it couldn't hurt to get a little closer.
I was wrong. That's when her eyes opened. The girl looked right at me and the look on her face told me that she had spotted me.
"Hey Ed. Look at that." She said slowly. I looked her straight in the eye and froze.
The boy moved his head to look over his shoulder at me. "Hey, a mouse."
They turned from me to look at each other and I saw the girl smile. She gave the boy a small peck on the lips.
"Come on, Mom and George are out let's head up to your room to, ah- 'watch movies'." Her smile grew.
"I love watching movies." The boy said sarcastically.
I suppose that for now I'm safe to continue the monotony that is my life. Although I still can't quite comprehend the extent of their time away from home –away from me- but I know that I'm seriously going to miss them more than I can even say. I stood on my hind legs and watched them as they gave me one last fleeting glance before the room went black.