A/N: This is a sequel to my first fan fiction, I'll See You In My Dreams.
I suggest you read that first to understand where this story begins.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This sequel is dedicated, with thanks, to two of my favorite fan fiction authors
Grissom1 who authored 170 chapters of the amazing tale THE SESSIONS
and
Lasrevinu who authored 91 chapters of the amazing tale CASTLES in the AIR
whose works were so enthralling and entertaining
that they inspired me to embark on my personal journey to weave my own tale of GSR.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When Dreams Come True
The tide was slowly ebbing its way back to its ocean retreat, smoothly stroking the shoreline.
Seabirds were imploringly cawing and cooing their mates toward the shadowy sanctuary of their offshore nests.
A blanket of butterflies was winging silently back to the twilight shelter atop the thicket.
From inside the shadows of their island retreat, the blazing fire before them was being reduced to glowing embers. The two lovers' breathing was calmed in their own afterglow. Their arms and legs were entwined and they lay silently, reviewing the picturesque scene. Keeping her close, he whispered in her ear,
"Nunc scio quit sit amor."
She started to giggle as she turned to stare into those blue eyes she had come to adore. "Virgil?"
He smiled confidently as he turned her back into her cuddling position. "Seemed appropriate."
As the dusk began to settle on the seascape of their Better Place, he sighed and repeated in translation
"Now I know what love is."
She felt Grissom's embrace soften slightly as she raised herself slowly, quietly moving outside the thicket to stoke the ebony remnants over the dwindling flames.
Sara fought the tiredness that threatened to claim her.
The events of the preceding afternoon replayed frame by frame.
Her heart raced at the memory of her personal revelations and of her rescue from her isolating tower.
Gil Grissom, bursting onto the scene as her knight in shining armor, had broken through her well-placed defenses.
He did not run away.
He said he loved her.
This was now THEIR Better Place.
She did not want to sleep, for that would require her to eventually awaken.
She did not want to return to her lonely shell of waking existence.
She knew she could not survive losing him to that other reality.
The first star of the night sky appeared overhead. Instinctively, Sara made a wish.
She wished he would love her forever.
A violent shudder wracked her body. A sense of foreboding overcame her.
Turning forcefully, she scrambled on all fours back to the now darkened entrance to the tunnel.
Suddenly frightened, she called for him, over and over pleading, "Gil, please!…Gil!"
She fell sobbing onto the place where his body had smoothed the sandy surface. He was gone.
She was despairing. She did not understand. How could he leave her? He promised…he loved her…he promised she would not be alone ever again…he promised...
She thought about a quote she once read by an American inventor Javan:
Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…just be an illusion.
Tears flowed freely from her eyes as she wrapped her arms around herself tightly. She rocked herself disconsolately and sobbed repeatedly, "Please, Gil…make it real…Please, Gil…make it real…Please, Gil…make it real…"
As she sobbed, tiredly repeating her mantra, the sounds of the waves, the cawing of the nested seabirds, and the flickering embers of the fire began to still her movements and lull her into a fitful sleep. From across the starlit waters she could hear soft tones repeating a message that was barely audible over her own pleading…
"Sara……Sara……Sara……sweetheart…..."
--------------------------------------------------------
Gil Grissom had closed his eyes with the serenity of a man in love.
He remembered the odd sensation of loosening his hold on Sara ever so slightly. He sighed contentedly, knowing deep within his soul that, whether Sara was within his immediate grasp or out of sight, she was his true love.
The events of the preceding afternoon replayed frame by frame.
His heart raced at the memory of his personal epiphany, and of his valiant rescue of his true love.
Gil Grissom, her knight in shining armor, had broken through her well-placed defenses.
But she had saved him also.
He no longer felt unworthy of love. She had made him feel truly worthy of love.
He thought of the words of Robert Frost:
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Before Sara, he had not fully understood the meaning of those words.
And he had said aloud that he loved her, too.
This was now THEIR Better Place.
He did not want to sleep, for that would require him to eventually awaken. He had wanted to remain with her in their seaside retreat, away from the demands of the lab and the mounting pressures of her physical and emotional difficulties.
But the scene was so perfect, his heart was so full, her presence so reassuring, that Gil found himself being led into a peaceful slumber…
-----He awoke with a start.
In the dim light of the bedside lamp, he jolted his body upright – to the consternation of his lower back muscles. Having lifted Sara onto the couch, even with help, and then carrying her to bed had overtaxed those aging lower back vertebrae, causing a slight spasm.
But it was his heart that seemed to ache more.
He gazed down on Sara's bruised countenance. She must be in pain, he thought, as he watched her sleepily hug herself and murmur softly.
He swept some of the curly tendrils from invading her slightly swollen cheeks. He kept stroking her hair in lovingly soothing strokes. As her agitation increased, he could finally make some sense from her murmurs:
"Please, Gil…make it real…Please, Gil…make it real…Please, Gil…make it real…"
Real? He smiled. Could she really be worried that he could forget the events of the past afternoon?
His nonchalance quickly turned to concern as he saw the tears cascading from under her closed eyelids, slowly at first, but then in increasing volume.
He slid down alongside her swiftly. Mindful of her injuries, he was sliding his muscular arm under her to pull her into a protective embrace.
He stroked her hair and continued to match her mumblings with his soft whispers into her ear:
"Sara……Sara……Sara……sweetheart…..."
--------------------------------------------------------
No longer asleep, but not fully awake, Sara became disoriented.
If she was not longer in the thicket, then why couldn't she move? Why was there pain? Oh, no!
She was a prisoner! Someone was going to hurt her! She was going to die!
Her defensive moves caused her to cry out in agony as her body's bruised areas protested her disregard.
Immediately, Gil released her, all the while continuing his soft whispering: "Sara….sweetheart…"
Now buckled over in pain, Sara wept uncontrollably. She was back. It had not been real.
He was gone.
He really did not love her.
She wanted to die.
Gil had to do something. He stood and rushed around to her side of the bed. Despite the protests from his aching knees, he knelt before her, whispering softly. After a while, somewhere inside her a realization was dawning.
He was here.
He was saying he loved her.
He was pleading with her to stay with him.
She wanted to be with him.
Sara opened her eyes slowly. Her vision was obscured by the swelling on her bruised face. Gil placed his face close enough to gaze deeply into her eyes.
She thought her heart would burst for love of this man.
He could feel her hesitant breaths on his lips as he closed the distance between them. Continuing to stare into her unbelieving eyes, he brushed his lips over hers several times. Her breath was stolen completely away when he continued to keep eye contact as he said,
"Now I know what love is."
With that, Sara's body became limp. She was a balloon, once filled with tension and grief, and now had swiftly been deflated. Gil rose to join her on the sandy colored bedspread.
Once again, Gil gingerly wrapped her in a soft embrace. Sara was dazed.
She wanted to talk about what had transpired in their Better Place, but…was it real? To him?
His sixth sense concerning her made him aware of her discomfort.
"Sara….I….don't know how….I don't know why…I just…know…I just know I felt it all, lived it all, heard…" He paused. Just now, the realization of the content of their frantic banter hit home.
He moved away from her to look down at her.
Don't look at me that way, she thought
He saw the pain in her eyes.
NO! No pity! Please! I couldn't stand it if you pity me!
He felt anger surge through his body.
NO! Please don't be angry with me! I shouldn't have told you! I'm sorry I didn't tell you before you got so involved! I know I'm broken goods! But I hoped maybe… Please…I just want you to love me!
He prepared to speak from his new-found resolve.
NO! Please don't say this was a mistake! Please don't leave me! Please make this real! I need you! I can't do this alone anymore!
Sara struggled in vain to distance herself from his embrace, to escape the inevitable. He was going to leave her. He felt tricked into proclaiming his love for her, even though she really wasn't worthy. It had been a dream. And he was angry. She had even lost a chance at his friendship.
She was going to be left alone.
She wanted to die.
But Gil firmed his grip on her struggling form. Not wanting to injure her further, he said forcefully, "Sara! STOP!"
At his tone, Sara stopped her attempts to escape and curled herself into as tight a ball as was possible given her proximity to his figure. She would not look at him.
She wished she could disappear.
Memories washed over her –
---of her childhood and the loneliness she had experienced
---of the times she spent huddled in a corner wishing to just disappear so the abuse would not continue
---of the wish she had made tonight on the first star in the sky
Past and present collided again.
Sara did not think she would survive this hurt. Not this time.
While she was scrambling to retreat within herself, Gil was attempting to rein in his anger.
As he fully realized the childhood abuse she had revealed during their encounter, he experienced a feeling that was new and troubling.
He wanted to kill the man who had hurt his Sara.
He thought he had seen it all, felt it all. But despite the depravity and sickness that he had encountered in all his years as a forensic scientist, he had never had the feeling of wanting to kill to avenge a victim.
But this was NOT a victim. His Sara was a SURVIVOR.
He felt her movements still. He tried to force her face to look at him, but she was retreating.
He had to fix this. He had to make her understand.
"Sara…please, honey…please look at me….I love you….please…I love you, Sara….please…"
Had she heard him correctly?
I love you????NOTGoodbye?
Again her tears were flowing as he continued to speak.
"Sara…I'm sorry…don't cry, honey…no more tears, please…I'm sorry….I'm just so angry…I want to hurt him, Sara….for what he did to you…I want to hurt them all for what they did to you…"
Sara strained her neck to place her face squarely before his. Was this really happening?
"You are so precious, Sara…I thank God every day for the chance to be near you…I pushed you away for so long, honey…I wanted you to be happy…I thought you couldn't be truly happy with me…you deserve so much better…I hurt you, though, Sara…and that makes me worse than all of them…because I really love you, but was too much of a coward to believe you could really love me."
Sara thought about the many days she spent alone in her apartment, thinking about him, aching to be with him. She never considered how lonely he had been as well.
Gil took a deep breath, and continued softly, "But if you will have me, I want to love you, Sara…I want to protect you, take care of you…love you…please, Sara…just tell me I am not too late. I can't get to my Better Place without you, whether it is there or here. I just can't do this alone anymore Sara….I need you…" He shut his eyes to prevent the wetness from escaping.
He needs me.
I made a wish upon a star…
Dreams do come true.
She strained her neck to brush her lips lightly against his, causing his eyelids to burst open.
Fueled by his desire, he began to scoop her into a bone crushing embrace, causing her to cry out in pain. Cursing himself, he sat and laid her gently onto the pillows. Through her tears, she let out a small chuckle.
Quizzically, he peered into her face, looking for signs of shock.
She chuckled again and said, "I guess the phrase Love Hurts has new meaning for us now."
With that, he smirked evilly and peppered her face with soft kisses as she ran her fingers slowly through his soft curls.
Sara sighed as she could not contain her gap-toothed smile.
Gil Grissom loved Sara Sidle.
Life was good.
--------------------------------------------------------
As they lay together in this dimly lit haven, "happily ever after" actually seemed possible.
They did not know that at that very moment, events were taking place that would make their travel down the road to that destination a very bumpy ride indeed.