Things have calmed down since Bianca outed me as transgender, but every now and then I'll catch people staring at me. No one makes rude comments anymore. Sometimes I wish that they would. At least I would know what to expect. I never know what people are thinking of me. Maybe they disapprove of who I am or maybe they just really like the shirt I'm wearing. Either way it doesn't matter. I know half of those people may never accept me. No matter how much I want them to. I don't know what I'm complaining about. I have the greatest friends that anyone could ever ask for. You would think that would be enough, but sometimes I can't help but feel left out. Eli and Clare are always together. The only time I ever get to hang out with them is when they're fighting and I have to be the one stuck in the middle. I don't even want to know what it will be like if they ever break up, which may be the case since they've constantly been at each others throats recently. I guess I could try and make new friends but the last time I tried that, I got my heart stomped on. Fiona is the most beautiful girl at Degrassi. Even after we've broken up I'm not ashamed to admit that. She's in grade 12 so calling her unattainable is an understatement. I should've known better, but to my surprise she wanted me too. Her feelings for me somehow made all of my pain go away. She made me feel worthy. Turns out that she just used me because I have a girl's body. I can't really blame her though. I used her too in a way. I liked to be around her because she made me feel better about myself. Come to think of it, I never officially started liking her until she mentioned that she didn't want anything physical. Don't get me wrong, I really did fall for her but maybe things would have been different if I didn't think I had a chance. I wanted someone to love me just as I am. I do believe that she loves me but not the way that I wanted her to. She understands me better than anyone else. I guess because she's trying to figure out who she is too. The only difference is that I already know who I am. Proud of it too. Someday I'll make some girl happy. I know I will. Until then I just need to focus on being a good person and a good friend. I wouldn't want to be anything less. Fiona is starting to come out as a lesbian and I couldn't be more proud of her. She knows that she can confide in me and I'll be there for her no matter what. As for Clare and Eli, I think they need me now more than ever.