Justin gloomily climbed the rungs of the ladder leading up to the catwalk. He knew today's meeting was going to be a miserable one. He had dreaded the day since the tech list had gone up. He'd applied for lighting designer, though knew the chances were slim, as he was only a freshman. All of the upperclassmen told him it was unlikely, despite his extensive experience and ample ability. Unfortunately, he'd gotten his hopes up, a mistake he knew now to never make again. They'd gone down quickly enough when he saw his name at the very bottom of the list.
Justin Taylor- Spotlight operator.
None of the glitz or glam of being an actor, none of the professionality that came with a higher tech position. It was a job a monkey could do. Or a small child. The spotlight was just an oversized flashlight, really, and there was just one requirement: follow the actor. He could make a game of it. It wasn't even a real spotlight, for crying out loud! It was a Source Four that did the job well enough for an underfunded school theatre program.
Of course, Justin was just mopey in general these days. His brother had just graduated and was starting his freshman year at Oberlin. They'd been close, and Justin missed him a lot. What's more, Justin had just seen Graham, his kind-of ex, kissing someone in the hall. They'd broken up weeks ago, and they weren't together for long, but it still hurt. In addition to that, Justin had gotten his first English quiz of the year back and hadn't done so well, and he'd forgotten his lunch, so he was starving.
Today was just not his day, really.
The tech crew was meeting upstairs behind the stage for a quick "orientation." They'd all done backstage stuff before, so Justin didn't really see why it was necessary. The last two years, he'd come up from the middle school and done set moving, in the hopes of making a good impression on the faculty tech manager and director (which, evidently, he had not). The tech crew was a close bunch- you had to be, when you worked in very close quarters doing very stressful things. Plus, techies just always seem to be affable people, Justin had noticed. Through camp, school, community theatres, and an internship off-Broadway in New York, he'd met 3 rude techies. Ever.
Justin arrived at the meeting place and stood next to Daphne, his best friend and stage manager extraordinaire. She was a junior, superstudent, president of godknowshowmany clubs, and managed to keep a job going as well. He was convinced that she never slept and ran only on caffeine (most of the techies were 2 cup/day drinkers. She was up to 8 and a Red Bull if she had a lot of homework. They were planning an intervention around mid-October if it got any worse).
"Attention! Attention! Thank you all for coming! Teddy and I just wanted to congratulate you on being hand-selected for your super important jobs as the tech crew of this production of Romeo and Juliet!"
The man speaking was Mr. Honeycutt, who not only insisted on being called by his first name (Emmett) but also did so on behalf of the entire drama staff. He was technical director, and also designed the costumes. "Teddy" was Mr. Schmidt, whom people mostly just called Mr. Ted, which appeased Emmett and eased the students' discomfort at the thought of addressing a teacher in such an informal manner. Mr. Ted was the director, and had to approve all of Emmett's artistic choices. He generally only intervened to say "This is Shakespeare. We don't need that much glitter." He had an English degree, a year of classical training in London, and knew Shakespeare's works better than the Man of the Millennium himself probably had.
All in all, the shows were generally well-received by local audiences. Though the shows were open for everyone to audition for, It was generally the same groups of kids every year since the 6th grade. Occasionally some poor student forced to do extracurriculars was in the chorus, or had some measly tech job (like spotlight operator), but for the most part, they were a troupe. And they liked it that way.
"Yes, yes, welcome," said Mr. Ted. "Thank you, Emmett. Now, I'm going to leave in a few minutes to start the actor's read through, but I wanted to talk to you guys about my vision. I'm sure you've all read through the script?" Everyone nodded. "I'm keeping it pretty traditional, very romantic. I'm playing up the nature symbolism as well. I have more specific ideas for specific scenes, which I've gone over with Emmett, who will relay those to you when the time comes. I hope you guys have a great time working on this production, and I'm sure it'll turn out wonderfully! Thank you!"
Mr. Ted left, and Emmett looked at the students. "So now that stuffy ole Mr. Ted is gone, I'm going to get to the important stuff. There were some mess-ups when I was typing up the list, and a few people had to drop, so I've had to rearrange it. Justin? Is there a Justin here?" Emmett fished his head around as if he were searching a large crowd for a single person, despite there being only about 15 people.
Justin raised his hand. "Right here."
"Your name is Justin? I thought you went by 'that middle schooler!'" said Emmett, with a huge smile. "Well, welcome to highschool, and welcome to this show!"
Justin was mildly annoyed, but tried not to show it. Two years of sucking up to have his name go unremembered? "Thank you. I'm excited to be here."
"Good, good. Now, you were originally spotlight operator, correct?"
"Yes."
"Do you consider lights your specialty?"
"For the most part. I can also do sound, and I've done some set designing."
"Excellent! A jack of all trades, I can tell. And Hunter? Hunter Novotny? You're a set designer?"
A delinquent-looking kid whom Justin had never seen stepped forward. "Yeah."
"Could we put you on spotlight operator?"
Hunter shrugged. "Sure. Whatever."
"Fabulous!" Emmett said, rather flamboyantly. "And Justin, you're lighting board operator and set design. Okay!"
Emmett wrote a few things down on his clipboard (which was rather elaborately decorated, Justin noted) and dismissed them. "Our next meeting will be tomorrow at 3!"
Justin was somewhat confused, but relieved. At least the meeting hadn't gone on too long, and his job was somewhat better. This was starting to look up somewhat.
"Well, that was hardly informative at all," said Daphne, turning to him. She looked especially jittery. Justin suspected espresso.
"I'm not complaining. I got an upgrade."
"Are you kidding? You just got 4 more hours of work per week dumped on you."
"Whatever. I have time to spare. Unlike some of us."
"I'm a busy person!"
"You're fucking crazy, that's what you are."
"Well, whatever. Have you seen Graham today?"
Justin rolled his eyes. Daphne was more invested in that relationship than Justin had been. Or, kind of relationship. "Yes, I have, and he's clearly moved on."
"You don't know that!" Daphne always had been the hopeless romantic.
"Yes, I do."
"Oh my god! Did you two talk?" Daphne asked, getting extremely excited.
"Daphne. Stop."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"Listen. It was a summer fling. It didn't mean anything. Stop freaking out about it."
"Whatever you say, Justin. Whatever you say."
"Seriously? Now you're just annoying me."
The two continued to bicker as they left.
Justin sat on the shoulders of a much taller guy, taking measurements for the balcony.
"Will you stop moving?" he snapped jokingly. Much taller guy, also known as Ben, kept messing him up. "I'm in a position of power here. I could strangle you with my legs."
"Watch it, freshman," Ben joked. "Also, that sounded a lot more sexual than it should have."
"Wow, the sign of a true faggot. A mind that only thinks about one thing."
"I'm not the one in a suggestive position."
"It takes two to tango, buddy."
They continued on like this, not actually flirting. Ben had been friends with Justin's brother, and was the first gay influence in Justin's life. He'd first introduced Justin to the world of technical theater, for which Justin was eternally grateful. Ben was also the nicest guy there. Along with painting sets, he wrote a lot for the literary magazine, and was on varsity basketball. He was applying to Harvard early decision.
They worked and messed around for a bit more. They finally sat down and made themselves work, concentrating hard on the work they had to do. Justin looked up to wipe his brow and noticed a light turning on in the booth. A figure opened the door and walked around. A boy- a man- was looking at the sound board. Justin couldn't make out his features, but could tell from the shadows he cast that he was beautifully shaped. In the least creepy way possible. He just seemed to have perfect proportions, posture and features. Okay, that didn't sound any less creepy.
"Hey, Ben, I have to look at the lighting board for a second. To see something on the cue sheet." Okay, that was pretty much a lie. He hadn't even met with the lighting designer. "Can I go do that for 2 seconds?"
Ben barely looked up. "Yeah. Sure. Be back soon."
Well, that was easy.
Justin ran down the hallway, hoping the mysterious figure hadn't left yet. He felt pretty creepy, but he just wanted to see who this man was. A new face in the theatre was bizarre. Justin was doing a good job breaking into this group, because he'd been expected to join. But who was this guy? A techie who hadn't been at the meeting? A new actor? Justin had seen these productions for years, he knew the usual castmembers. Maybe he was trying to damage the soundboard or something?
Justin opened the door and saw the back of the head of the mysterious man. He was much taller than Justin- probably 6 feet at least. And as he turned around, Justin got a glimpse of his perfect profile. Like, perfect. He carried himself in a way that made Justin want to bow down or something, like he was an authority figure. He was cool. Justin could tell he just didn't give a shit about anything. And it was so, so sexy.
"Can I help you?"
The question seemed genuine enough, without any sarcasm, but Justin was intimidated nonetheless. "I- I was looking for the cue book. Do you happen to know where the lighting designer is?"
"Not a clue. Hey, have you seen Teddy?"
This guy is ballsy, thought Justin. "Uh, I think he was in his office. So are you, like, in the show or something?"
Mystery man stared at him with an expression that was hard to read. "I'm Romeo," he said dryly.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I-"
"What are you?" he said, cutting him off.
"Techie."
"Figures."
Polite fellow, thought Justin sarcastically. "Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?"
"If you were an actor, you'd know who I was."
Justin got the feeling that was not what he'd meant, but let it slide. "Okay. Well, I'll let you know if I see Mr. Ted."
Brian raised his eyebrows. "You do that." Justin realized he was carrying a script only when he sat back down.
"You don't have to be so rude," mumbled Justin, turning to leave.
"What was that?" the man said, his head shooting up. It was the first time during their brief exchange where he looked even mildly interested.
"Uh, nothing," Justin said.
"Obviously it was something."
"Well, it's just... you were being kind of rude. There's no need to be. It's not like I've offended you."
The man stared at him for a moment, and got up, approaching Justin. He looked him up and down, appraising him. It made Justin slightly nervous. Finally, a small smile crept on the man's lips.
"I like you." The man ruffled his hair. "You're cute. Ballsy for a Freshman. You are a Freshman, right?"
"Uh, thanks? And yeah, I'm a Freshman. But I've been helping with the shows for a while."
"I'm sure you're very proud of that. I'm Brian Kinney. Senior. And you are?"
"Justin. Justin Taylor."
"Justin Taylor," Brian repeated back. "I like it. I'll see you around, Justin Taylor."
"Um, okay." There was a brief silence as Brian sat back down to read his script once more. "Bye," Justin said.
"Goodbye," he replied, not looking up.
Justin left the booth, unsure about the whole exchange. He walked back towards the stage, thinking. He continued to think as he worked on measurements. By the end of the day, he'd reached a couple of conclusions:
Brian Kinney was, without a doubt, the most intimidating person he had ever met.
Brian Kinney was also the most enigmatic.
Brian Kinney was also, by far, the sexiest person in the school. Or the world.
Justin might, just might, believe in love at first sight.
Justin didn't see Brian for the next few days. He did, however, find his facebook, and promptly sent a friend request. While waiting for him to accept, Justin stalked to his heart's content. Thankfully, he had a pretty open profile.
This guy was a pretty legit actor. His profile pictures were all headshots, production pictures, or just something artsy and model-esque (Justin wondered if he actually modeled. He would believe it if he did). For a guy who was so aware that he was attractive, there were surprisingly few shirtless pictures of him, which disappointed Justin. He noticed that they had some mutual friends that Justin had met in New York. Did Brian live there ever? Perform there? Had he spent a summer there as well?
Still, from his profile it was hard to get a grasp of what Brian was like. Not many pictures with friends, though some short guy named "Michael" was tagged in a few. Justin wondered if Michael was gay. Justin wondered if Brian was gay, too. If he wasn't, then he'd been seriously condescending to Justin. If he was, though, there was definitely some heat there. His profile offered few clues, though he seemed way too well-dressed to be straight. Was that a stereotype? Probably. But come on, he was fairly sure that no straight 17-year-old wore clothing that fit so well. And he was pretty sure the leather jacket he was wearing 50% of the time was real leather. Probably some famous designer. Justin had never been a fashionable guy, but he recognized and appreciated quality.
Half of Brian's appeal was his mystery, thought Justin. He had the quality that some of the great method actors had- it was hard to find out what he was truly like. He bet he was smart. Brian seemed like the type who enjoyed reading.
Of course, Justin didn't want to build an image up in his head of some guy he barely knew. He'd do some more research. He IM'ed Daphne.
BlondesHaveMoreFun: Hey
EspressoEnthusiast: Hi!
BlondesHaveMoreFun: Do you happen to know anything about Brian Kinney?
Espresso Enthusiast: Romeo? He's new. Very serious actor. I saw him showing Ethan his resume- very impressive. I think he's Mr. Ted's nephew or something. I don't think that's why he got the role, but they seem pretty familiar. Maybe family friends or something, idk. Why?
BlondesHaveMoreFun: I met him today. He seems interesting.
EspressoEnthusiast: Interesting? What does that mean?
BlondesHaveMoreFun: I don't know. He's just interesting.
EspressoEnthusiast: He's a good looking guy.
BlondesHaveMoreFun: No shit. He's like an Abercrombie model or something.
EspressoEnthusiast: Legit?
BlondesHaveMoreFun: I'm not sure, but he totally could be.
EspressoEnthusiast: Haha so true.
BlondesHaveMoreFun: My gaydar is going off.
EspressoEnthusiast: Seriously? I didn't get that from him at all.
BlondesHaveMoreFun: Look at his clothing. Seriously. It just fits so well!
EspressoEnthusiast: Different opinions, I guess. We'll find out eventually.
BlondesHaveMoreFun: Yeah. Igtg, HW calls. See ya later!
EspressoEnthusiast: Bye! Try to get to bed at a reasonable hour.
BlondesHaveMoreFun: Look who's talking.
Interesting. Daphne didn't seem to think he was gay, but Daphne hadn't thought that Justin was gay when they'd first met. And who couldn't guess that Justin was gay? No straight man could have his ass. Okay, that was a little conceited, but honestly, it was really well-formed. He was proud of it. His point was, that Daphne's gaydar was way off. Even if Brian wasn't gay, there was some undeniable attraction there. Or maybe his pheromones were ridiculously strong. The man just emanated sex.
It was pretty late, so Justin started to get ready for bed. He turned on the water and waited for it to heat up before jumping in. Thoughts of Brian were still racing through his head. His hands wandered down his torso towards his dick, and he began palming it slowly. The warm water ran down his body, making it smooth and slick. His hands felt so good on his stomach and his legs. He wondered if that's what Brian's hands would feel like. He began stroking himself, slowly at first. He got harder, Brian's face still in the forefront of his thoughts. He saw Brian's stomach, his thighs, his bare ass in his mind's eye. He imagined the smirk Brian would wear going down on him, pictured kissing a trail up and down his stomach.
Of course, Brian was probably great at blowjobs. He got the sense that Brian was great at everything. He wouldn't tease Justin too much. Just a little- enough to let the tension build.
He began to move faster, the steam filling his lungs as he gasped for air. He was aware now that his mouth was open and felt himself getting closer and closer and wow, that felt good, and he wondered what Brian looked like when he touched himself like this and what Brian thought of and Brian this and Brian that and just Brian.
He stroked his cock slowly as he came, letting the sensation resonate as much as possible. A sound escaped his lips the moment it began, something between a moan, a gasp and a yelp. It was slightly louder than he intended it to be. The feeling wore off as he went soft again, a feeling of slight embarrassment replacing it. Had he seriously, actually just masturbated to some guy he'd talked to for all of 5 minutes? Justin was getting creepier and creepier. But Brian was hot, there was no denying that, and Justin had needs. And if the idea of fucking him got Justin off, then so be it.
Of course, Justin would definitely blush the next time they made eye contact. If he could bring himself to look at him.
Justin fell into his bed, exhausted.
Justin woke up from a dream. A dream featuring none other than Brian Kinney. As if the man hadn't plagued Justin's thoughts enough, he had to see him in his dreams, too. Justin felt a little pathetic. I mean, even on the off chance that Brian was gay, and that he was attracted to Justin, it's not like anything could realistically happen between them. Brian was a Senior, and Justin was just a small blonde twink of a Freshman.
It's not like Justin thought he couldn't get guys, especially older ones. He'd dated Graham over the summer, and he was a Junior this year. Granted, Graham wasn't a raging sex god like Brian Kinney. But he wasn't bad looking. Plus, Graham was an amazing kisser. It had been pretty casual, and Graham had called it off towards the end of the summer when he'd said he wanted to focus on school his Junior year. It hadn't been a monumental turning point in his life, but it had given Justin a wealth of sexual experiences to draw upon for future lovers.
Justin wondered how Brian felt about blowjobs.
Dear God, he needed to STOP. This was getting borderline stalker territory. Justin tried not to think about Brian naked (SHUT UP, MIND) and got ready for school. He put on his white button-up shirt and the ugly cheap tie in school colors, and the uniform navy blazer that he loathed so. They weren't required to wear them during extracurriculars, thank the lord. He stuffed his old jeans and t-shirt into his backpack. He was going to be painting sets that day, so he shouldn't wear his black official-looking techie stuff.
He grabbed some breakfast, hopped on his bike, and was out the door in a flash. His mother complained that he rushed out every morning, but hey, he was a busy guy. He had people to see and things to take care of. And he probably had to do some stuff on the set before school, anyway.
Thank God it was a Friday, though. Seriously, if he had to suffer through one more day of school without a break, he might burst. Plus, it was the second Friday of school, so there was bound to be something major going on. He prayed to God that Mr. Ted wouldn't call late night rehearsal, because that would mean he would have to show up and he just was not in the mood to deal with that.
Then came the first sighting since Justin had fallen in love (Well, not in love, but certainly sexual attraction beyond compare).
Brian Kinney, right there in broad daylight, still as sexy as Justin remembered him (like it was possible that he'd gotten less attractive overnight? Please. He was Brian Kinney, for fuck's sake), the light from the window in the hall illuminating him as if he was some sort of walking silhouette, with a hint of light peeking out from beneath. Justin stared openly and shamelessly. It seemed as if Brian Kinney just commanded that sort of attention.
Brian slowly turned in his direction, and it dawned on Justin that eye contact was imminent. Should he look away? Should he smile? Would Brian even know he was being acknowledged? Would Brian acknowledge him back? Did Brian even remember him? Did he know his name? Wait, what was his name? Shit, it was- uh- uh-
Their eyes finally met.
"Hey, Justin Taylor!"
What even were words.
"Hi," somehow escaped his lips. Brian was intimidating to begin with, but since he was also so sexy, it was kind of a double whammy.
"I have a favor to ask of you."
Brian spoke like an entrepreneur, with suavity and just a hint of overconfidence. He put his arm around Justin and spoke in a somewhat subdued tone.
"You know how I'm new in town, don't know many people, the likes of that. You seem to know everyone, even though you've only been here as long as I have. You're friends with some upperclassmen, some who have parties, parties with- with, shall we say, illicit , that's what we shall say. Illicit. You get what I'm saying here, Taylor?"
Justin nodded. Marijuana was pretty easy to find at their school.
"Perfect. Well, if you could get me to one of those parties, say, tonight, so I could find a source, form some connections, the works. Could you? Pretty please?" Somehow, Brian didn't even sound like he was begging.
Justin felt kind of like he was being exploited, but he also didn't really care. Brian overestimated his influence, but Justin knew he could be somewhat helpful. Daphne smoked at parties when she was feeling particularly relaxed and confident (meaning, she had managed a full night's sleep at some point) and her brother's boyfriend's sister (who, despite the seemingly distant relationship, Justin knew fairly well) was known to deal.
"I'll look into some things."
"Great. You're pretty cool, kiddo, you know that?"
"Thanks," Justin said, feeling ultra mega lame. Thanks? THANKS? Really mouth? Fuck you. Fuck. You.
"See you around, sweet cheeks."
Justin's heart did little flutters, and he felt even stupider. What was he, 12? His heart wasn't supposed to do little flutters.
Justin went off to his morning classes, noticeably giddy. Daphne caught him at the beginning of lunch and asked him what was up.
"Someone's all smiles today."
"What are you talking about?"
"Well, for someone who spends 90% of his time moping, you seem rather sunshiney. Care to explain?"
Justin looked mildly affronted. "Me? Mope?"
Daphne shot him a look. "Don't deny it. You love it."
"Maybe so, but sometimes I'm in good moods."
"Rarely. So why this one?"
"Dunno, really."
Daphne looked skeptical. "I'll find out eventually. Hey, did you hear about Shauna's party?"
"Shauna's having a party?"
"Yeah, pretty big one. Her parents are away for the weekend."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah, tons of people are going. But you're probably the only freshman."
"Like that would matter to me?" Justin didn't have many friends in his grade. This was an openly acknowledged fact.
"I thought not. But yeah, I'm going, and so is the rest of the crew and probably lots of the cast."
"Really? Will Ingrid be there?" (Ingrid was the aforementioned friend's brother's boyfriend's sister)
"Uh, yeah, I think."
"Okay, awesome. I think I'll make it. Can anyone come?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Why? Were you planning on bringing a date?"
Justin just smiled at that. "I wanted to know. Inquiries have been made regarding parties."
"Is this about Brian?"
Justin blinked. "What do you know about Brian?"
"He messaged me about you last night."
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah. He wanted to know what you were like and stuff. He said you seemed interesting."
"Seriously? Why would he ask you about me?"
"Well, I'm assuming because he wanted to know. Plus, he knew we were friends and stuff, and it kind of came up when we were talking."
"Wait, do you, like, talk to him on a regular basis?"
"Well, I mean, yeah."
"What? And you never told me about him?"
"It never came up!"
"That's a lie and you know it." Justin sighed. "Daphne, when an extremely attractive guy appears to show some mild interest in me, regardless of his sexuality, it is your right- née, your DUTY- to tell me these things."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I told you now, didn't I?"
"Not close enough. We were even talking about him before!"
"It seemed intrusive or something."
"There are no boundaries."
"Fine. Next time he tells me something that would be of mild interest to you, I'll let you know. Anyway, is he coming to the party?"
"He seemed to think I knew people who could get him pot."
"Oh. That came up too, last night."
"And you gave him my name? Even though you could help too?"
"I'm not a totally awful friend."
Suddenly, it dawned on Justin. "You were trying to play matchmaker."
Daphne couldn't hide her smile. "Caught red handed."
"He's gay?"
"He never said he wasn't."
"I'll take it. I'm going to go find him and tell him to come tonight."
"Just text him. Do you need his number?"
"Would that be creepy?"
"Nah. I gave him yours."
"DAPHNE!"
"Sorry, sorry."
Justin copied the number and sent a text:
-Hey. Party at Shauna's (114 Maple) tonight. I'll show you some people. This is Justin btw.
A few minutes later (which seemed like an eternity, to a young man in lust), Justin received:
-Excellent. Will you be gracing the party with your presence?
That was definitely flirting. Undoubtedly. Totally.
-I intend to.
-Perfect. See you there, Sunshine.
He assumed that Daphne had informed Brian about the embarrassing nickname. He couldn't help how blonde his hair was! And he had good dental hygiene, so his teeth were whiter than white. As a result, his parents had called him "Sunshine," and subsequently, Daphne had caught on. Ben used it too, from time to time. Its sole purpose amongst his friends was to bother and pester.
For some reason, when Brian used it, it made Justin's heart rate increase an embarrassing amount.
-Yes, you will.
Perfect. Justin was going to Shauna's party later, and so was Brian, and Brian was impressed with Justin, and Justin was pretty sure Brian was gay, and Brian showed interest in Justin, and Justin definitely was interested in Brian.
All in all, everything in Justin's life was going according to plan.