A/N: A submission for the Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda ficathon episode 1.19 Emily in Wonderland.
Possibly Wonderland
The bells chimed heralding Lorelai's arrival at the diner. She glanced around and noted that she didn't see Luke anywhere. Ignoring the warring factions of relief and disappointment that were doing battle in her belly, she scurried for the curtain that hid the staircase to his apartment, feeling incredibly self-conscious.
She paused at the foot of the stairs, trying to figure out why she felt so weird about coming here. The diner was her home away from home. It wasn't unusual for Lorelai to visit multiple times in the course of a day. It wasn't unusual for her to while away hours munching on French fries and pestering her favorite diner owner when Rory booted her from the house for being a distraction. It wasn't unusual for her to find her own distraction here, seeking refuge after bad days, disappointing dates and particularly brutal Friday night dinners
Of course, it was becoming a little more unusual now. Now that Rachel was here, things were different. She still knew every table, and could pick out the wobbly chairs on sight. She had recently started doodling little designs with her name hidden in them on the menus when Luke wasn't looking, making it her personal mission to hit every one without him ever being the wiser. Now that her visits to the diner had decreased slightly, Lorelai realized that it was going to take her a little more time to achieve that particular goal.
There were only three places in the world where Lorelai Gilmore ever felt completely at home. The first, of course, was the Independence Inn, the first home where she felt that she could be herself. The second was the house she had bought for them with money scraped together through hard work and determination, and held together with spit, a prayer and a few well placed nails courtesy of her friend, Luke. And this place. Lorelai glanced back at the curtain, and then up at the wood paneled stairway. Well, maybe not this particular spot, Lorelai conceded, as she realized that she had never stepped foot behind the curtain before. Luke's, she corrected. But this is part of Luke's, a part of Luke, she reasoned. Luke is my friend, and Luke has been in my house more times than I can count, so I shouldn't feel weird about going to Luke's place, she told herself. With one more glance at the curtain, she wondered if it was because she wasn't going to Luke's place with Luke, or to see Luke.
"Home," Lorelai muttered under her breath as she climbed the steps. If she was honest with herself, a practice which Lorelai Gilmore found highly overrated, she would probably admit that the reason she felt so strange about it was because it was Rachel who extended the invitation. When she came home and pressed the play button on the answering machine, Rachel's voice was the last she would have expected to hear, but there it was, saying, 'I have some stuff I want to show you. Luke's working, but I'm home the rest of the day, come on by when you have a chance. See ya!' in that oh-so-casual tone. If she was honest with herself, Lorelai would admit that it was the ease of the invitation that set her teeth on edge. In all of the years she had known Luke, he had never once invited her to his apartment.
And how did she get my number anyway? she wondered. Did she ask Luke for it? Did he ask her why she would want it? Or maybe Luke had it written down somewhere, in a little phone book or something, she reasoned as she neared the top of the stairs. A little black book? Does Luke keep a little black book with all of the numbers of all the chicks he knows? she wondered, the thought making her grin at its seeming absurdity. Was it like, two pages long, and include Mrs. Slutsky? she thought with a snort. Lorelai hesitated a moment as she lifted her hand to knock. She stared at the words painted on the frosted glass door, her eyes locking in on the word, 'Private' in particular. Suddenly she felt like an interloper. Luke was very private. For all she knew, that little black book could be filled with hot and cold running blondes. For all she knew, the reason Luke seemed so hesitant about having Rachel back in Stars Hollow was not that he was afraid she'd leave, but more afraid that she'd stay. There could be someone else, or more than one someone else, she realized. Her balled fist fell slowly back to her side as she pondered the possibility of Luke being a player. With a nervous laugh, she shook her head and raised her hand to knock. If Luke didn't want Rachel here, the reason had to be something other than the crimp she would put in his swinging lifestyle, she chided herself as she rapped on the door.
Rachel opened the door a moment later with a welcoming smile. "Hey! Good, you got my message," she said as she swung the door open.
Lorelai held up her hands and said, "Hail the glory of the answering machine."
"Come on in," Rachel said as she stepped back, holding the door open. "I just developed some shots of the Dragonfly I think you're gonna love. Maybe they can help inspire you a little more," she said enthusiastically.
Lorelai's eyes lit with genuine excitement as she said, "Oh, great!" As looked around for the photos in question, Lorelai glanced around the apartment curiously, "Hmm, I've never been in Luke's apartment before."
Rachel jerked her head back in surprise and asked, "Really? How long have you two known each other?"
Lorelai snickered as she wandered the room slowly and said, "Oh god, years. But our relationship is strictly, 'Please can I have coffee? No. Come on! No, it makes you short.' Blah blah blah," she said with a grin.
Rachel nodded and said, "Well, then let me give you the grand tour. This is it," she said grandly as he held her arms out and rolling her eyes.
Lorelai chuckled and said, "It's, uh, not how I pictured it." Catching how that sounded, she quickly added, "I mean, not that I've been picturing Luke's apartment. I haven't been picturing it at all."
Rachel smiled and said, "I know what you meant."
As Rachel continued to look through the piles of prints scattered throughout the large one room apartment, they began to chat easily. Lorelai complimented the curtains, and Rachel revealed that she didn't choose the floral print, Luke did. They talked about the cramped quarters, and Lorelai felt that little twinge in her gut as she realized that they probably were very cozy in such a small place. She babbled something about them finding a bigger place, and before she knew it, Rachel was going on about how she might not be staying in Stars Hollow very much longer. Lorelai listened as she sat down on the couch, trying to keep up with the conversation while her head reeled with unasked questions. Luke wasn't in it? Luke didn't believe that Rachel would stay? Did he say something to her about that, or was Rachel just picking up on something he hadn't said? Knowing Luke, that would more likely be the case, she decided. She tried to say the right things. She was cautiously encouraging, coaxing Rachel to speak to Luke to tell him that she didn't feel like he wanted her to stay. All the while, that little voice inside of her head was telling Rachel, You're right, it's not right. Nothing has felt right since you came here. Even the coffee isn't right, and the coffee never lies. Maybe if you left, maybe things could be right again. Maybe.
Rachel was rambling on about how she felt like everyone in town was watching them, watching her, waiting for her to screw up. Finally, she straightened up, took a deep breath and said, "I cannot find your pictures here. They must be in the bathroom," she told Lorelai as she hooked a thumb towards the tiny room.
"So do not wanna know why," Lorelai murmured as she looked around nervously.
Rachel paused at the bathroom door and turned back to Lorelai. "Hey, I know this is so not cool to ask…" she said hesitantly. "But if the situation comes up and it's not too weird, a little word of encouragement from you might help a lot," she said sincerely.
Lorelai nodded quickly and said, "Oh, yeah, sure. If it comes up," she added, wondering why Rachel would think she had more pull with Luke than she had herself.
"Thanks," Rachel said uncomfortably as she ducked into the bathroom.
Lorelai looked around the apartment idly, her eyes coming to rest on the single bed. She stared at it for a moment, trying to figure out how Luke fit in it at all. She frowned, trying to fit his broad shoulders to the width of the small mattress, but her mind flashed a picture of another body entwined with his, legs tangled, squeezed close together to keep from falling over the edge, and long dark hair spilling across his chest. Unconsciously, Lorelai's pink tongue darted out to wet her lips, while she tried to puzzle out why Rachel's hair would look so dark in her mind's eye.
She was startled from the thoughts when she heard the apartment door slam. Lorelai's head jerked up just in time to see Luke pull up short at the sight of her. He stared at her blankly, trying to figure out what she was doing there, and Lorelai smiled slightly, a faint blush rising in her cheeks as she joked, "What, you don't knock?"
"What are you doing here?" Luke asked in return, clearly stunned by her presence in his space.
Lorelai gestured to the bathroom and said simply, "Rachel invited me."
"Oh," Luke answered. He glanced down at the bank bag tucked under his arm and remembered what he had come up here for.
He walked toward Lorelai, and her heart began to hammer in her chest, wondering if he could somehow sense what she had been thinking about as he walked in. "To look at some pictures," she rambled.
"Good," Luke answered succinctly.
Lorelai bristled a little at his abrupt answers and smirked as she said, "Yeah. And go through your underwear drawer."
Luke glanced back over his shoulder and asked, "Where is she?"
"Freezing your bra," Lorelai answered with a challenging look.
Luke frowned and asked, "Where?"
"In the bathroom," she replied as she watched him spin the dial on the safe.
"Right," Luke said as he stared hard at the dial, trying to concentrate on the numbers rather than the fact that Lorelai Gilmore was sitting in his apartment. Not only sitting in his apartment, but on his couch. And, if he wasn't mistaken, he could have sworn that when he walked into the room, she had been staring at his bed, her lips moist and parted, and her mind a million miles away.
"It's a nice place you have here," she said conversationally.
Luke glanced up at her uneasily, waiting for the mocking words he was sure would follow. "Thank you," he said briefly.
Lorelai turned her head to look up at the windows as she said, "I like the curtains."
Luke spared them a quick look as he opened the safe and tossed some stuff inside. "Yeah, yeah, Rachel picked them out," he said gruffly.
Lorelai nodded sagely, trying to smother her smile as she said, "Oh, she's got good taste."
Rachel came out of the bathroom holding a stack of prints and saw Luke kneeling near the couch talking to Lorelai. "Oh, hey," she said with a smile.
Luke craned his neck to look over his shoulder as he said, "Hi." He slammed the door to the safe closed and then pointed to it as he said, "I just had to put something in the safe."
Rachel nodded, sensing his discomfort and said, "We were just…"
"I told him about the underwear drawer," Lorelai said, quickly cutting Rachel off.
Rachel raised an eyebrow and quipped, "And the baseball cap fashion show?"
Feeling like his head might explode if he had to stay in the confined space for one moment longer, Luke pointed to the door and said, "Okay. I'm gonna go now," and made a hasty exit.
As soon as the door closed behind him, Luke stopped in the hall and took a deep breath. He glanced back at the door, trying to figure out how to regulate his breathing again. As he started down the steps, he pressed his clenched fist to his chest, trying to calm the heart that had threatened to leap from his chest at the sight of her there. That traitorous heart which seemed to stop beating altogether when he saw both of them in that tiny space, where there was barely room for one of him, let alone the two of them.
Lorelai grinned up at Rachel, enjoying Luke's obvious discomfiture and said, "I think he's going to go buy a matching rug."
Rachel laughed as she handed Lorelai the photos of the old Dragonfly bed and breakfast and watched as Lorelai, bent forward, and poured over every detail of the old place. She sat down on the couch and asked, "So, you really want to open an inn of your own, huh?"
Lorelai shrugged as she turned to the next photo and said, "Sookie and I have been talking about it for years. Seems like it's getting to be time to do something about it," Lorelai told her.
"You really plan to stay here in Stars Hollow?" Rachel asked in a surprised tone.
Lorelai looked up with a puzzled frown and asked, "Why wouldn't I?"
Rachel held up her hands defensively and said, "I just meant that you're young, you'll still be really young when Rory goes away to school and even after she's done. You could go anywhere, do anything," she suggested.
Lorelai shook her head and said simply, "This is where I want to be."
Rachel laughed and said, "Wow, I can't imagine anyone who wasn't born and raised here wanting to stay here."
"You just said that you wanted to," Lorelai retorted.
"Yeah, but I'm from here. This is home," Rachel said easily. "But before? I couldn't wait to get out there and see what there was to see," she said as she shook her head.
"Yeah, but you chose to come back here," Lorelai countered.
Rachel smiled and chuckled a little as she said, "For Luke. If Luke wasn't here, then no, there's nothing else for me here."
"My turn to say wow," Lorelai said as she lowered the photos. She turned to Rachel and asked, "You would live somewhere you never wanted to live, just to be with a guy?"
Rachel shrugged and said, "It's Luke. Luke is different. Guys like Luke are keepers. I know that now," she said with a nod.
"Yes, Luke is different," Lorelai conceded as she looked down at the photos in her hand again. Without looking up, she asked, "Will that be enough? You know he'll never go, will you be able to stay?" she asked worriedly as she ran the pad of her finger along the edge of the print, almost daring it to cut her.
"I want to," Rachel told her. "I know that I came here on impulse, but the decision, the need to settle down isn't an impulse. I'm tired of living my life on the road. I want roots," she said with a shrug. "There's no one in the world more rooted than Luke," she added with a small chuckle.
"True," Lorelai said, as she stared at the image of the dilapidated old inn. "That's why I stay here," she murmured. She looked up quickly and said, "Not for Luke, but for me. Well, Luke is a kind of a part of it all. I mean, I never felt at home until I came here," she said with a self deprecating smile. "Plus I already have roots here. This is Rory's home, our home. In a way, I grew up here too. I just want it to always be here for her," she told Rachel.
"But don't you want to see what's out there for you?" she asked incredulously. "I mean, you had her so young, and soon you'll be free of all that," Rachel said with a puzzled frown.
Lorelai shook her head and said, "Being Rory's mom is something I hope I'll never be free of." Lorelai smiled as she held up the photo for Rachel to see. "One thing you learn when you raise a kid is that the possibilities are endless. This is a possibility." She stood up, the photos still clutched tightly in her hand as she said, "The thing is that you work so hard, spend so much time telling your kid that anything is possible, that you start to believe it yourself." She held the stack of pictures out to Rachel with a smile and said firmly, "I like it here. I chose to be here, and I plan stay here." When Rachel waved the pictures away, Lorelai clutched them to her chest and said, "I get it, though. You were born here, so you don't see the possibilities. I guess you could argue the same thing about me. The place I grew up in was very different from this," she said dryly. "There are just different possibilities, that's all," she finished with a shrug.
"I guess so," Rachel murmured, a note of disbelief coloring her voice.
Lorelai turned the wattage up on her smile, wondering if Rachel was trying to give her a not so subtle push out of Stars Hollow, and honestly not giving a damn if the other woman understood her or not. "Thanks for the pictures," she said brightly.
"You're welcome," Rachel said as she stood up too.
Lorelai jerked her head toward the door and said, "I should get going."
"Yeah, see you later, Lorelai," Rachel said, flashing a weak smile.
"Bye, Rachel," Lorelai called as she headed for the door.
Lorelai walked slowly down the steps and parted the curtain with the back of her hand. When she stepped into the diner, she spotted Luke standing behind the counter in his usual spot. "Hey," he called to her.
She placed the stack of photos on the counter and smiled as she called back, "Hey."
"Want some coffee?" Luke asked as he turned toward the coffee maker, already anticipating her answer.
"Oh, yeah coffee would be great," Lorelai answered, even though he was already pouring coffee into a to-go cup for her.
Lorelai reached out to take the cup he offered to her and said, "Thanks."
"Watch the lid there," Luke cautioned as his hand brushing hers as he moved to make sure the lid was secure.
"Yeah," Lorelai murmured as she looked down at his long fingers pressing the lid firmly into place as she clutched the cup. She looked up quickly and said, "Wow, it really looks, um, different from back here, ya know?" She turned to him with a wide smile and said grandiosely, "All this is yours, as far as the eye can see."
Luke smirked as he said in a flat tone, "Yes, it's quite an empire I've built for myself. I'm thinking of conquering the flower shop next door and expanding the freezer."
Lorelai looked up at him out of the corner of her eye and said, "Hey, I didn't mean to kick you out of your own apartment."
"Oh, you didn't," Luke said a little too quickly as he wiped his palms on his flannel draped hips.
Lorelai eyed him carefully as she said, "Well you left pretty fast."
Luke shrugged as he shoved his hands into his pockets and said, "Yeah, you guys looked like you were talking girl talk."
"Girl talk," Lorelai repeated blankly.
"Yeah," Luke said with a curt nod as he began move around behind the counter and rearranging things.
Lorelai followed him in his footsteps and asked, "What's girl talk?"
"You know, pantyhose, nail polish," Luke tossed out there offhandedly.
Lorelai carefully kept a straight face as she added, "Curtains."
"Yes. That stuff," Luke answered.
Lorelai wrinkled her nose at him and said, "You didn't like me being up there?"
"No big deal," Luke replied in what he hoped was a dismissive tone, neither confirming nor denying the accusation, and headed for the store room at the back of the diner to escape her.
Lorelai blinked in surprise at his blatant attempt to blow her off. She turned to look down the short hall where he had disappeared and muttered, "Huh," before she squared her shoulders and followed him, determined to do what she did best, prod Luke. She lounged against the doorframe and watched for a moment as Luke began ripping open boxes and placing jars of condiments onto the utilitarian shelves that lined the room. When she stepped cautiously over the threshold, rambling about the store room, he tried to get rid of her by mumbling some lame excuse about his insurance.
Lorelai decided to cut to the chase by asking, "You don't like me hanging out with Rachel do you?"
Luke rolled his eyes and muttered, "Oh, come on."
Lorelai took another step closer as she persisted, "Am I right?"
"You can hang out with anybody you want," Luke said with a wave of his hand.
"Not my question," Lorelai pointed out.
"Well that's my answer," Luke shot back.
Lorelai smirked as she clutched her coffee cup to her chest and said, "Well, we're eight."
Luke looked up and said, "Just a friendly piece of advice. Don't get too attached to her."
"Rachel?" Lorelai asked, stunned that Luke would be so blunt.
Luke nodded and continued to unpack boxes as he said, "Yeah. She's got an interesting habit of getting bored and then leaving. Usually without saying goodbye," he added with a touch of bitterness.
Lorelai studied him carefully as she said, "People break habits."
"Not often," Luke scoffed.
Lorelai frowned as she asked, "So you're just convinced that that's what she's gonna do?"
Luke looked her dead in the eye and said in a voice that left no room for doubt, "I'll bet you that's exactly what she does."
Lorelai chewed the inside of her cheek, thinking about what Rachel had said to her upstairs. "Well, let's say that is what she does," she said, proceeding with caution. "Don't you think there's the teensiest possibility that if Rachel leaves Stars Hollow this time it's because she thinks you don't want her to stay?" she asked with a slight wince.
Luke stopped unpacking and looked up at her incredulously as he asked, "Are you guys talking about me?"
"No," Lorelai said quickly. "Yes," she admitted just as quickly, flashing him a slightly abashed smile.
Luke pointed to her sternly as he said, "Okay, I don't mind if you hang out with her, but you will not talk about me."
Lorelai grinned and asked, "Why? It's fun. We wear plaid, take turns not shaving," she teased.
Luke shook his head adamantly and said, "There will be no Luke talk period."
Lorelai watched as he slid his fingers under a flap and ripped another box open. "Do you wanna know what I think about this situation?" she asked hesitantly.
"No," Luke said shortly.
"Are you sure?" she asked temptingly.
Luke sighed and said, "Look, if you're gonna tell me at least help me unload."
Lorelai grinned as she set her coffee aside and asked, "Can I use the fun cutter thingy?"
"Not if you call it the fun cutter thingy," he grumbled.
"Please" she whined.
"Cut the box, not your hand," Luke instructed curtly.
Lorelai smirked as she took the box cutter and said, "Good tip, you should teach." She plunged the blade into the cardboard and sliced it open gleefully. "Ha! Fun!" she crowed.
"Talk," Luke ordered under his breath.
Lorelai took a deep breath and jumped in. "Well, I don't know exactly what's going on in Rachel's head because I'm not a Vulcan, but from the way she talks about you and the way she smiles when your name comes up, I'm pretty sure that she's serious about staying in Stars Hollow this time," she said quickly, ignoring the now familiar twinge in her stomach.
Luke ripped into another box and began pulling jars from it as he said, "Yeah, let me guess. Rachel told you she wanted to put down roots, that she's serious this time, that she's tired of the road, and realizes what's lacking in her nomadic existence," he said sarcastically.
Lorelai shrugged as she said, "She didn't use the phrase nomadic existence, but basically yes, that's what she said."
"I've heard the speech. I know the speech by heart," Luke told her pointedly.
Lorelai's brow furrowed as she said, "Well, I think she means it this time."
"You don't know her like I do," Luke said firmly.
"I don't," Lorelai admitted. "But she seems sincere," she said encouragingly.
Luke looked at her quizzically and asked, "How do you know?"
"Her nose didn't grow," Lorelai said impatiently.
Bristling at her tone, Luke demanded, "Why are you taking her side?"
"I'm not taking her side," Lorelai said defensively.
"Well it sounds like you're taking her side," Luke accused.
"Well, wash out your ears, I'm not taking her side," Lorelai said as she held up her hands.
"I mean you're practically pushing her on me," Luke said angrily.
"I just want you to be happy," Lorelai told him.
"And you know what makes me happy?" Luke asked.
Lorelai shook her head and said, "No, I just know that you've been carrying a torch for her for a really long time."
"I have not been carrying a torch for her," Luke said dismissively.
Lorelai lost all patience with him and snapped, "Well, you wanted this to happen."
"How do you know what I wanted to happen?" Luke retaliated.
"Didn't you?" Lorelai asked. "Wasn't the possibility of it somewhere in your mind?" she pushed.
"Sure there was the possibility," Luke said expansively. "There also the possibility that Taylor could tick me off so bad one day that I just stuff him down my garbage disposal and the town anoints me King of Stars Hollow. Yes, anything is possible, Lorelai," he shouted. He caught himself, his chest heaving as he tried to school his thoughts.
"Okay," Lorelai said loudly, upset that he was upset with her for talking about something she didn't really want to push anyway. "So here it is, the possibility is right in front of you. Just take it. Take the plunge. She could be ready. Just jump in and believe her," she said angrily.
Luke held up one finger to make his point and said in a calmer tone, "Possible but not probable." He looked at her intently, trying to will her to read his mind, and trying to make her see what was holding him back.
"But it is possible," she persisted. She paused as their eyes met across the table. "Unless, you know, there's some other reason you don't want to," she said with a slight waver in her voice.
Luke moved first, caught in the gravitational pull of her eyes. "Like what?" he asked as he skirted the end of the table and stood in front of her, staring at her watchfully.
"Like..." she started and then stopped, trying desperately to read his face, trying to figure out what she was missing. "I don't know," she finished quietly, feeling the knot of apprehension weighing heavily on her.
"What kind of reason, Lorelai?" Luke asked in a low voice. "The possibilities are endless, right?" he asked as he took a small step closer to her. "Give me a reason. What reason could there be?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper. When Lorelai dropped her gaze to the floor, all she could see were the scuffed toes of his boots between her hers. Luke reached out and touched her arm gently as he asked in a hoarse voice, "Can you tell me if it's possible? Or is it not probable?"
Lorelai slowly raised her eyes to meet his and said softly, "I don't wanna be the reason, Luke."
"But do you want to be the possibility?" he asked her bluntly. "All I need is the possibility," he said as he placed both hands on hers and gently pried the box cutter from her clenched hand, placing it on the table, but keeping a firm hold on her, lest she slip away.
Lorelai stared into his dark blue eyes, so close that she could count the long dark lashes that framed them, so close that she could feel his hot breath rushing from his parted lips, so close that if she lifted her face a fraction of an inch more, she could probably kiss those lips. "Probably," she breathed.
That was all he needed. Cupping her cheek in his hand, Luke tilted her head that tiny fraction and kissed her softly, his lips grazing hers with the barest of flutters. Lorelai leaned in, pressing her lips to his a little harder, needing to feel the pressure of them, aching for a taste of what he offered. Luke released her hand, and Lorelai pressed it against his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart against her palm. He plunged his hand into her hair, tilting her head back further as he pulled her against him, trapping her hand between them. Lorelai's head swam as he deepened the kiss, his lips, so warm, so firm, and so sure as they moved across hers. Lorelai felt the tension in her stomach melting away with the heat of him and she parted her lips with a moan of release. Luke touched the tip of his tongue to her lip, waiting for her permission, yearning to take it regardless. Lorelai met him, her tongue tangling with his as he assailed her senses, drinking her in, savoring the possibility.
Luke was lost, his kisses growing more demanding, every fiber of his being crying out for her. He felt her fingers tighten on his shirt, and then the gentle, yet firm push she gave as she ducked her head, pulling away from him, breathless. Her fingers curled into the soft flannel as she whispered, "Luke," in a desperate voice and then glanced at the open store room door worriedly.
"I'm sorry," he said automatically. When he saw the flash of confusion in her eyes, he said quickly, "No, I'm not sorry, but I'm, uh, sorry about, uh, I don't know," he said as he reached up to rub the back of his neck. He watched her warily, seeing the wheels turning in her head as she avoided his gaze. "I'm not sorry," he said more confidently. When she looked up at him, he said, "Please tell me that it was more than a fleeting possibility."
"More," she answered softly.
Luke nodded quickly and said, "I want to make it highly probable. That's what would make me happy, Lorelai," he told her, his voice cracking slightly.
"Highly probable," she repeated in a daze.
"Can you tell me, uh, will the possibility still be there, after I, um, you know?" he said as he looked meaningfully at the doorway.
Lorelai cleared her throat softly and asked, "That's what you want?"
"More than you can imagine," he told her frankly.
Lorelai nodded as she processed the information. "Well, would it be possible for you to call me, um, when you're ready?" she asked as she took a step back. "I, um, need to," she stammered, suddenly remembering Max. "I might need a day or two," she said, wondering what she could possibly say to Max the next time he called for a phone date only to find out that he was no longer a possibility.
Luke frowned as he asked, "Will I see you? In the diner, I mean," he clarified.
Lorelai nodded as she backed toward the door and said, "That is an insanely high probability."
"Hey, Lorelai," Luke called as she turned to leave.
Lorelai gripped the edges of the doorway, but didn't turn around, afraid that if she looked at him she'd go flying back into his arms. "Yeah?" she asked.
"I think we should take the guesswork out of it. I want this," he told her simply. "This is what I wanted. This is what I was waiting for."
Lorelai's lips curved into a smile as she turned to look at him finally. "Our timing, not so great," she said with a shrug.
"No," he agreed with a soft chuckle.
Her face grew serious as she said bluntly, "I don't want to be this kind of person."
Luke cocked his head and asked, "What do you mean?"
"I don't want to be the girl that hopes another girl gets hurt," she said quietly, her gaze skittering from his.
"No one wants to hurt anyone," Luke told her gruffly. He looked down at his hands and said, "I'm not feeling so great about it myself. I mean, I am, but I'm not," he looked up and said quickly, hoping that she didn't get the wrong idea. "Lorelai, I know that you like Rachel, I like her too. I just, I have to…" he struggled, pressing his splayed fingers to his chest as he searched for the right words. When she looked up again, he said, "I just need to explain to her that there are other, uh, possibilities that I need to be open to." He smiled sheepishly and said, "To tell you the truth, I doubt that it will come as a surprise to her."
"No," Lorelai murmured, recalling what Rachel had said earlier about leaving Stars Hollow again. "I feel like we just stepped through the looking glass," she said softly.
Luke shrugged a little and said, "There are enough freaky characters around here to make that a very real possibility."
Lorelai's smile widened as she said, "Well, somebody had better call me, or believe me, nobody is going to be happy."
Luke smirked and asked, "Are you the Queen of Hearts? Off with their heads?"
"It's a possibility," she answered. "You shouldn't test the probability on that though. You know where to find me," Lorelai said softly.
"And you know I'll be there," Luke answered as she turned to leave.
Lorelai glanced at the staircase and mumbled, "This is possibly one of the most bizarre days of my life."
Luke took a step closer to the door as he asked, "But possibly good, right?"
Lorelai looked back at him and said, "Probably very good." She lifted a hand and gave him a small wave before she disappeared. Lorelai hurried through the deserted diner, and out the door, the bells jingling madly in her wake.
Luke walked out into the dining room and looked down at the stack of photos she had left on the countertop. With the tip of one finger, he turned the print on top and studied the old inn carefully for a moment. He dragged the top photo aside, and looked at the next, narrowing his eyes as he subjected it to the same scrutiny and murmured, "Anything's possible."
"Hey," Rachel said softly, causing Luke to jump as she came to stand beside him. "Pretty quiet," she commented as her eyes scanned the empty diner.
"Afternoon lull," he said gruffly as he stacked the prints neatly, lining the edges up with his fingers. "Lorelai left these," he said as he gestured to them awkwardly.
Rachel looked down at the photos she had taken earlier that morning and said, "Turned out nice, huh?"
"Yeah," Luke said, as he swallowed the lump in his throat.
When he turned his head she saw everything she needed to see in his eyes. Rachel placed a gentle hand on his arm and said, "So, I was thinking, I might make that excursion to Congo after all. Or Philadelphia," she added as a joke, her heart in her throat. When Luke nodded quickly, pressing his lips together in a tight line, she smiled ruefully and said quietly, "I just thought that maybe we could possibly make it work this time."
Luke nodded his acknowledgement and said in a whisper raspy with emotion, "Probably not."
"No, I know that now," Rachel assured him, patting his arm gently.
Luke looked over at her and said sincerely, "I am sorry."
Rachel smiled affectionately as she leaned in to kiss his scruffy cheek. She let her hand slip from his arm and said, "I'm going to go pack."
When Rachel turned and ducked behind the curtain once more, Luke reached for the stack of prints and carefully stowed them on the shelf below the counter. He leaned against the back counter, crossing his arms over his chest as he tried to get a handle on everything swirling inside of him. After a moment, he pushed away from the counter with his hips, unfolding his arms as he walked to the other end of the counter, opened the drawer below the cash register, and pulled out a large ledger book. He opened the back cover, and flipped a couple of pages before he stopped and stared down at the picture Rachel had taken of him and Lorelai at the Firelight Festival. He smiled as he stretched his arm out, blindly reaching for the phone on the wall. With a grunt of frustration, he tore his eyes from the photo long enough to dial the number he knew by heart. When he heard the answering machine come on, he waited impatiently for the beep. When the sound finally came, Luke opened his mouth to speak but found that he didn't know what to say. He cleared his throat softly as he glanced at the picture in his hand again and said, "You have possibly the most symmetrical eyes I have ever seen," and hung up quickly, his ears burning.
Lorelai stood stock still, staring at the answering machine as it reset itself. Snapping out of the trance that held her captive, Lorelai lunged for the play button, a small smile of satisfaction finally curving her lips as she played his message probably a thousand times. Lorelai sat in the chair, her finger tracing the speaker grill on the answering machine as his deep voice rumbled through it once more. Her smile grew as he once again paid her the compliment that, for Luke, was as good as a sonnet. "Curiouser and curiouser," she murmured as she sat back and gave herself a tiny pinch to be sure that she wasn't dreaming.
That is the end of this adventure – see you at the tea party – Mags