Scheduling....or a Solution to THE Problem!
Ryouga was pretty sure he was in Nerima as he walked down the street. The area looked familiar, but not familiar enough for him to know exactly where he was at. Still, even though he had a vague idea where he was at, he was startled to hear THAT voice.
"Yo, Ryouga!"
Ryouga turned to see his one time rival Ranma Saotome trotting up to him. Though it had been the best part of a year since the last time Ryouga had seen Ranma, he looked unchanged. Same red shirt, same black pants, same pigtail and arrogant smile. However, he did seem to be a little tired.
"Hi Ranma," replied Ryouga. "I guess this means I'm somewhere in Nerima right?"
"Yup, you're about two blocks from the dojo." Uncharacteristically, Ranma stuck his hand out. After a moment's thought Ryouga took it and they shook hands. "Well, how's life down on the farm for you and Akari?"
"It's good. Running a farm isn't all that hard really. It is a bit boring though," replied Ryouga.
"I can imagine, after all the stuff we've done. Say," Ranma said with sudden concern, "you aren't lost right now are you? Do you need me to give you a hand getting back to the farm?"
Ryouga looked at Ranma hard for a moment, trying to see if he was being mocked. After a pause, he decided that Ranma was truly concerned. That moved him just a little. "Yes and no. Yes, I'm sorta lost, but that's okay. No, I don't need help finding my way back to the farm."
"Huh?" Ranma asked, clearly puzzled.
"Well, it's like this. I go stir-crazy if I'm on the farm for too long. After a month or so of being a husband to Akari, and tending the sumo pigs, I get itchy feet. Me, who always longed for a real home, getting the urge to wander! Fortunately, Akari understands, and lets me go. After I figure I've wandered enough, I find a pay phone and call her. We figure out where I am, and she comes and gets me. Well, unless I'm in another country, then I just wander some more until I'm back in Japan."
"Wow, that works out for you two okay? What's gonna happen when you two start having kids?" Ranma wondered aloud.
"Uh..well, we have been trying....." Ryouga said blushing slightly, though not starting to nosebleed like he used to Ranma noticed. "I'm beginning to think my curse is keeping me from being a father."
"I know what you mean," replied Ranma. "I can't get anyone pregnant!"
At that statement Ryouga began to get very upset. "What do you mean ANYONE!?"
"Whoa! Easy Ryouga! Really, take it easy!" Ranma waited until Ryouga merely looked surly rather than dangerous. "Come on, I'll tell you as we walk to the dojo."
Dutifully, Ryouga shouldered his pack and fell in step alongside Ranma. "Why are we going to the dojo?"
"I've got classes to teach in another half hour, and Akane would kill me if I didn't invite you to dinner." Ranma noticed Ryouga turning slightly green at the thought of Akane's cooking. "Don't worry, she's a pretty good cook now that she isn't trying to prove she's better than me at something. Besides Ukyou and Shampoo have been helping her learn. Besides, maybe we can spar later."
Ryouga thought over that last statement for a minute. "Yeah, I'd like that. It's been a long time since I had a decent fight! That's one thing I miss about having you as an enemy, Saotome. I never get any real competition anymore. Now, spill the beans about getting 'anyone' pregnant, or I'll have to pound your face in."
"As if you could!" Retorted Ranma with a smirk. "Well, it's like this. After you got married to Akari, there was a meeting of my fiancees. Specifically Akane, Shampoo, and Ukyou. They decided that since fighting didn't work they'd try helping each other to make me choose one of them."
"They really did that?" Ryouga asked. "I can't imagine those three cooperating for more than a minute."
"Well, actually they did. I began going on dates with all three of them, at separate times, of course, and there were no interruptions. Well, aside from Mousse and Kuno, but those were fairly easy to discourage since when I'd take one girl out, the other two would be lurking nearby to help the date go smoothly.
"After a couple months, I still couldn't choose. The girls held another meeting. This meeting was....a little different."
"Go on," demanded Ryouga.
"They, uh....decided that they all would marry me."
"WHAT?!!!!!" Screamed Ryouga in the loudest voice he had ever managed.
"Well, they worked out a schedule you see? I spend the first week of the month with Akane, the second with Ukyou and the third with Shampoo." Ranma winced slightly at the look Ryouga was giving him.
"How...how.....how...dddd....d-does that...work out?" Ryouga asked, not truly believing what he was hearing.
"Well, I teach classes at the dojo everyday. Wherever I'm staying, I go to the dojo to teach. That is dictated by honor, as is necessary by the promise my pop and Mr. Tendo made."
"What do they think of all this?" Interrupted Ryouga.
"Well, Mr. Tendo was a little upset at first, but since it was partly Akane's idea, he didn't stay mad for too long. Besides Kasumi and Nabiki both married shortly thereafter, and he is overjoyed."
"Who'd they marry?" Ryouga asked.
"Just who do you think?" Replied Ranma.
"Tofu and Kuno?"
"Yep. Anyhow, Pop thinks the whole marriage thing was a great idea to get him, and consequently me, out of a lot of contradictory promises. Mom's not happy, but since it was the girl's idea, she goes along with it.
"Anyway, I spend the first week at the dojo with Akane. That is the easiest week, since I don't have to commute for classes. The second week is at Ucchan's. Easily the best food all around, though okanomiyaki is a bit boring by the end of the week. I work as a waiter when not teaching at the dojo. The third week I spend at the Nekohatten. The old ghoul went back to China, taking Mousse with her, so things are actually pretty quiet. Shampoo thinks it's unmanly for me to be a waiter, so she has me waitress in my girl form. That's my most exhaustive week."
"She makes you work in girl form?" Asked Ryouga incredulously. "Why is it your most exhaustive week?"
"Well, I do get better tips at the Nekohatten then I do at Ucchan's, but personally, I think that Amazon likes girls as well as guys." Ranma paused as Ryouga looked like he was about to hemorrhage blood. When Ryouga looked nearly normal again, Ranma continued. "It's exhaustive because Shampoo is a rather, umm...exuberant woman."
"Okay, but what do you do the fourth week?" Ryouga inquired.
"I have a small apartment I stay at by myself. It's nice to get away from all the smothering attention. Since all the girls only get me to themselves for a week at a time, they really dote on me when I'm there. The final week allows me some time to myself."
"That sounds almost exactly like what Kuno and I used to accuse you of actually doing! It sounds like you have your own harem!"
"Well, there is one important difference, Ryouga."
"What's that?"
"THEY forced ME into this, not the other way around."
"Just out of curiosity, what do you do in the months that have five weeks?" Ryouga had to ask, though he wasn't sure he'd like the answer.
"Well, we all spend the week at the dojo together."
"WHAT?!!!!" Ryouga screamed, making a serious effort to break his previous record, though falling slightly short of it.
"Well, now that they aren't rivals, they get along great. Akane helps teach classes with me, and Ukyou and Shampoo take turns bringing us lunch. Occasionally, Shampoo and Ukyou teach specialty classes to advanced students in both Amazon fighting and unconventional weaponry. On special occasions we all get together, and now there is no fighting!"
"Wow Ranma, it sounds like you have everything you ever wanted!" Said Ryouga.
"Well, all the girls are happy, that's what counts. Still, all I ever wanted for myself is to be the world's greatest martial artist. That, I'm still working on. Remember, I got your promise to spar with me."
"You bet!" Replied Ryouga. Just then he noticed they were standing in front of the dojo. For some reason there was a huge pile of boxes in front of the door. "Uh, what's going on Ranma?"
"I don't know Ryouga, we'll just have to find out." The two young martial artists walked into the dojo yard to find Akane, Shampoo and Ukyou talking together. Almost instantly the girls noticed the two men.
Ukyou and Shampoo literally flew over and glomped onto Ranma. Akane, however, walked up and gave Ryouga a big, friendly hug, one that threatened a few of his more vital functions.
"Hi Ryouga!" Said Akane brightly as she disengaged herself from him. Ryouga was busily reminding himself that he was happily married.
"Umm, okay, what are you three up to?" Ranma asked after a moment.
"Well, sugar," began Ukyou, "we had a meeting and decided that we didn't like having you for only one week a month."
"Now Airen live with all his wives!" Shouted Shampoo happily.
"Oh, okay....." said Ranma. "Umm.....Ryouga's gonna stay the night with you three go whip up some lunch for us real quick? Before classes start?"
"Sure!"
"You betcha!"
"Gotcha covered!" With a bound, all three women disappeared into the dojo.
Slowly, Ranma turned to face Ryouga. He put a hand on each of Ryouga's shoulders and looked him dead in the eye. "Ryouga, ya gotta help me."
"Uh, sure, what do you need?"
"I REALLY need to get lost for a while."
"Right, follow me....."
Author's Note:
Ranma 1/2 does not belong to me. I in no way will ever profit from this fanfic...to do so would violate the first law of fanfiction. If you paid for this then you've been cheated.