(Scene One)
Ash: I'M ASH KETCHUM FROM PALLET TOWN AND I WANT TO BE A POKÉMON MASTER!!!!!
Brock: We know that, Ash.
Ash: I'm just practicing for when I'm meeting a new person.
Misty: Ugh, Ash......
Pikachu: Pika!
Ash: OMG look, it's a Mew!!!!!!!
(Mew appears)
Mew: Mew mew!!!
Ash: I'M ASH KETCHUM FROM PALLET TOWN AND I WANT TO BE A POKÉMON MASTER!!!!!
Misty: OMG Ash........
Ash: Just be quiet Misty, I want to capture Mew!!!!
(Mew uses Metronome and Ash, Misty, Brock, and Pikachu go flying into the air)
Ash: DWAAAAAAAAH!!!!
Misty: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, ASH!!!!
Pikachu: Pika!
(Scene Two)
(Ash, Misty, Brock and Pikachu crash through the roof of Hogwarts)
Ash: Ouuuuch...
Harry: OMG WHO THE HECK ARE YOU???
Ash (standing up): WOW THAT'S THE WEIRDEST LOOKING HOOTHOOT I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!!
Harry: Uh.....this is a OWL.....
Misty: Wha- an owl????
Harry: Are you guys Muggles or what??
Misty, Ash and Brock: MUGGLES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Harry: Yea, ordinary people.
Misty: Uhh........
Hermione: Yup, there're definitely Muggles.
Brock: OMG YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL CAN I GO OUT WITH YOU?????
Hermione: ..............................uh.......................................
Harry: Well, I'd better introduce myself....I'm Harry Potter and this is Hermione Granger.
Ash: I'M ASH KETCHUM FROM PALLET TOWN AND I WANT TO BE A POKÉMON MASTER!!!!!
Misty: I'm Misty, and he's Brock.
Brock (running over to Hermione and grabbing her hands): You're the prettiest, smartest, girl I've ever seen!!!!!!!
Hermione: ...............................................um.
Misty: Anyway, what are Muggles?
Hermione: Non-magic people. You see, this is a school for wizards and witches.
Ash: WHAAAAAAT?! That's NUTS!!!!! Wizards and witches don't exist!!!!
Harry: Yes they do.....(brings out his wand) Aguamenti. (a jet of water erupts from Harry's wand)
Ash: OH AWESOME CAN I TRY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Pikachu: Pika!
Harry: AAAAAH WHAT IS THAT THING?!?!?!?!?!
Ash: It's my Pikachu!
Hermione: Wow!!! I've never read anything about a 'Pikachu'.....
Misty: Really? That's weird......I've never heard of an owl either.....
Harry: YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF AN OWL OMG YOU PEOPLE ARE SO DUMB!!!!!
Ash: YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF A PIKACHU OMG YOU PEOPLE ARE SO DUMB!!!!!
Misty: ............................Ash, that was uncalled for.
Harry: Sorry about that. I can't believe you've never heard of an owl.....
Misty: Well, it looks like a Hoothoot.
Hermione: A what??
Brock: A Hoothoot. It's a pokémon.
Harry and Hermione: A WHAT????
Ash : OMG YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF POKÉMON?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Hermione: Uhh, no.
Misty: OMG WOW YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE DUMB!!!!!!
Ron: Ummm, Harry, Hermione? Who are these people?
Ash: I'M ASH KETCHUM FROM PALLET TOWN AND I WANT TO BE A POKÉMON MASTER!!!!!
Misty: I'm Misty, and he's Brock.
Ron: Oh. Hi.
Harry: They're trying to tell us about these beings called 'Pokémon'.
Ash: There are many different kinds of pokémon....like Pikachu is one kind....and Hoothoot is another kind....
Ron: Oh, so they're kind of like animals?
Misty: Um......yea, sure.
Crookshanks: Mrow.
Hermione: Ooh, hi Crookshanks!!!!!
Ash: OMG THAT'S THE WEIRDEST PURUGLY I'VE EVER SEEN!!!!
Ron: Purugly???? That's a perfect nickname for Crookshanks.....
Misty: A Purugly is another kind of pokémon.
Ron: Oh.
Hermione: Crookshanks is a cat....
Ash: Ooh, cool. Is he yours? Where's his pokéball???
Hermione: Pokéball???
Ash: You know, these things? (detaches a pokéball from his belt)
Harry: I've never seen anything like that......
Ron: Wow, that thing's cool......
Misty: We keep our pokémon in pokéballs.
Ron: How the heck are they supposed to fit in there????
Brock: They just.....shrink I guess.....
Ash: See, they work like this. Bulbasaur, come out!
(Throws a pokéball and Bulbasaur appears)
Ron: Wow!!!
Harry: Wow!!!
Hermione: Wow!!! What is that??
Misty: It's a pokémon called Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur is one of the Grass-type pokémon.
Ron: Huh??? Types???
Brock: OMG your animals don't have types??
Hermione: Well, there's cats, and dogs, and griffins, and-
Misty: No, no, no, no, not like that!!!! You know, Water type, Fire type, Psychic type?!?!?!?
Harry: ....................um...................no.
Misty: Well, anyway, our pokémon have different types. Bulbasaur here is a Grass type pokémon, which means its element is grass. Pikachu is an Electric type pokémon, which means that he can electrocute stuff...........
Hermione: Oh, cool!!
Professor McGonagall (from outside): What is going on in there?
Harry: Uh-oh, Professor McGonagall.......hide!!
(Harry, Hermione, and Ron stuff Bulbasaur, Pikachu, Ash, Misty, and Brock into a closet)
Professor McGonagall: Potter, Weasley, and Granger! What are you doing in the Common Room and not in class?
Hermione: OMG I MISSED A CLASS?!?!?!?!?
Professor McGonagall: Yes....you missed Potions.
Harry: OH NO I MISSED POTIONS?!?!?!?!? Snape's gonna get so mad at me.....
Professor McGonagall: Yes, and if you don't get in Transfiguration in twenty minutes, you'll all get detention.
Ron: Oh no!!!
Professor McGonagall: Well anyway.....I've got to go prepare for my class. And if you're not there.....DETENTION!!!!!
(Professor McGonagall leaves)
Ron: You guys can come out now!!!!
(Misty, Ash, Brock, Bulbasaur, and Pikachu come out of the closet)
Ash: What was THAT all about??? What's Potions and Transfiguration???
Hermione: Our classes. We have to learn about them in order to become successful wizards....
Brock: So you're.....magical people?
Harry: Yes, and if you guys don't get out of here and we're not in Transfiguration, we're doomed!!!
Pikachu: Pika!
Ron: But we can't get them back to where they came from in twenty minutes!!!
Harry: You're right....hey, I've got an idea!!! Anyone got any spare Gryffindor robes???
Hermione: You're going to try to fool Professor McGonagall into thinking that these Muggles are Gryffindor students???
Ron: I say that's a great idea.
Ash: Ooh, cool!!! We get to learn magic!!!
Harry: Well....Muggles aren't magical people....you have to be born with magic.....
Ash: Oh........
Ron: So how are they going to pass for Muggles??
Harry: We'll figure it out....
Hermione: I think we should report them to Professor Dumbledore.
Harry and Ron: WHAT?! HERMIONE, ARE YOU INSANE?!?!?!?
Hermione: Well, Dumbledore could help them....
Harry: Or Dumbledore would take them to the Ministry of Magic and brainwash them and send them to who-knows-where!!!!!
Hermione: ...........................good point.
Brock: Who's Dumbledore?
Harry: The Headmaster of Hogwarts. Come on, let's quickly find some robes for you guys. Ash, take off your hat....and Pikachu should probably go in his pokéball....
Ash: WHAT?! But Pikachu hates his pokéball!!
Pikachu: Pikachu!
Ron: Well, if Pikachu can't go in his pokéball, he can stay in the dormitories. He has to stay hidden, though.
Ash: Okay, that'll probably work out better. Bulbasaur, return!
(Bulbasaur goes back into its pokéball)
Hermione: Those things are so cool!!!
Harry: Come on, Pikachu, I'll take you to the dormitories.
Pikachu: Pika!
(Harry and Pikachu go up the staircase)
Ron: Here Ash, here's one of my old Gryffindor robes that should fit you......and Brock, here's my older brother Percy's robes.
(Ash and Brock slip on the robes)
Ash: I look distinguished!
Misty: Very funny Ash.
Hermione: Here's some of my robes. And you might want to take out your hair.
Misty: Thanks.
(Misty slips on the robes and takes her hair out of her ponytail)
Hermione: Good. You guys look like wizards now.....sort of. You need wands.....
Harry: I found Neville's wand in the dormitory.....and three other wands I couldn't identify. Here, Misty, Brock, Ash, take one.
(Misty, Brock, and Ash each take a wand)
Ash: So.....what do we do with these things??
Hermione: Well, since you're Muggles, you probably can't do spells or anything.....
Ron: Oh no!!! Transfiguration is in five minutes!
Harry: Uh-oh, we'd better get going. Brock, Ash, Misty, keep your faces low and nobody will know you're Muggles.
Ash: Okay.
(Scene Three)
Ron: Sorry Professor McGonagall!!
Professor McGonagall: Detention.
Harry: Awwww.....
(They all sit down)
Neville: Hey, who are you? I've never seen you before.
Ash: I'M-
Harry: Um, um, they're.....
Ron: They're my cousins!! They're visiting Hogwarts.
Neville: Oh, cool. What are your names?
Misty: I'm.......Sara........
Brock: I'm.........Max........
Ash: AND I'M ASH KETCHUM FR-
(Misty clasps a hand over Ash's mouth)
Misty: Hahahaha....he's......Samuel.
Neville: Nice to meet you. I'm Neville Longbottom.
Professor McGonagall: Longbottom! Potter! Um.....who are the new kids?
Ron: They're my cousins, Sara, Max, and Samuel Ketchum. They're visiting.
Professor McGonagall: Well, hello Sara, Max and Samuel, I'm Professor McGonagall. Now, for Transfiguration. You see the teacups on your desks?
Class: Yes.
Professor McGonagall: Well, your assignment for today is to change them into rats.
Ash: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?
Professor McGonagall: Ketchum, do you have something you would like to share with the rest of the class?
Ash: Uh.......
Professor McGonagall: So anyway, what you do is you swish your want and shout Rattatabillis. Mrs. Ketchum, would you like to demonstrate?
Misty: Uh......I'm not the best wizard on the planet earth.....
Professor McGonagall: Oh, come on. Show us your stuff.
Misty: Um....alright.....Rattatabillis!
(Teacup changes into a rat)
Misty: WHOA!!!!!
Professor McGonagall: Excellent, excellent. Five points for Gryffindor. Now, Granger?
Harry (whispering): Misty, you're a witch!!!
Misty: I-I-I-I?!?!?!?!?!??!
Hermione: Rattatabillis!
(Her teacup changes into a rat)
Professor McGonagall: Perfect, perfect. Five more points for Gryffindor. Now, Max Ketchum?
Brock: WOW YOU'RE SO PRETTY CAN I GO OUT WITH YOU?!?!?!?!?
Professor McGonagall: Uh......very good sense of humor, Max. Now, your spell?
Brock: Uh, right. Rattatabillis!
(Brock's teacup changes into a rat)
Brock: WHUH?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Professor McGonagall: Very good. Now, Samuel Ketchum?
Ash: Uh............okay..........Rattatabillis!
(Ash's teacup changes into a Pichu)
Pichu: Pichu!
Professor McGonagall: AHHH WHAT IS THAT THING?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
Harry: Ash, you're a wizard too!!!
Ash: But....my teacup changed into a Pichu, not a rat.....
Hermione: If a normal person did that, the teacup wouldn't change at all.
Pichu: PiiiiiCHU!!!!!!!!
(Pichu shocks Professor McGonagall)
Ron: Is that thing another pokémon?
Ash: Yes......
Professor McGonagall (dazedly): Your lessons are over for today............
(Bell rings)
Professor McGonagall: Your homework is to write a 5 paragraph essay on what it felt like to change your teacup into a rat.....
(Scene Four)
Hermione: I can't believe you all are wizards!!!
Brock: Geez, me neither.....
Ash: Is it supposed to be lunchtime or what?
Harry: Oh, I just forgot!! I have a Quidditch game today!
Misty: Quidditch?
Ron: It's wizard sport. Kind of like......soccer?
Misty: Soccer?
Ash: You mean like pokémon battles?!
Hermione: Pokémon battles??
Ash: Pokémon battles??? You've never heard of pokémon battles?? They're awesome!!! I battle my pokémon all the time!!!
Brock: Pokémon battles are sort of like a test in strength between two people's pokémon....
Harry: Oh, so they're like wizard duels?
Misty: I guess....
Draco: Who's talking about wizard duels?
Ash: I'M A-
Misty (clasping a hand on Ash's mouth): Um, hello.
Harry: What are you doing here, Malfoy?
Draco: I was overhearing your conversation with the new people. You're Weasley's cousins? Do you all sleep in one room like they do?
Brock: Um, no. You see, we go on-
Misty (clasping a hand over Brock's mouth): Um, no, we don't. I'm Sara, he's Max, and he's Samuel.
Draco: So what are pokémon?
Harry: None of your business. Get back to the Slytherin table.
Draco: Very well, but I'm looking forward to kicking your buttom in the Quidditch match today.
(Draco walks off)
Harry: That bully............he knows I have a way better broom than he does.....
Misty: Brooms? What does brooms have anything to do with Quidditch?
Harry: We play flying on brooms.
Brock: Oh.....
Hermione: You see, Harry's a Seeker for the Gryffindor team. That's the most important position.
Ash: Seeker?
Harry: Yes. The Seeker looks for the golden Snitch, a tiny ball with wings that travels extremely quickly. Once one of the teams' Seeker catches the Snitch, the game is over and earns the team whose Seeker caught the Snitch 150 points.
Misty: Wow....so the Seekers are the only players in the game?
Ron: Goodness, no! There are three Chasers on each team, whose goal is to get the Quaffle in one of the three hoops on the each side of the playing field. For all of the times the Quaffle gets into the hoop, it earns the team ten points. Then there is the Keeper, the person who guards the hoops in order to keep the other team from scoring. And then there are the two Beaters who keep the two Bludgers away from their team. Got it?
Misty: ....................uh.................
Ash: Yea, sure.
Wood (coming over to Harry): Harry, we've got to find a substitute Chaser! Angelina's injured.
Harry (jumping up): WHAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!? What happened to Angelina?
Wood: Stupid Slytherins. I don't know who to put into the position...
Ron: Hey, guys, want to try playing Quidditch??
Misty: ........................uh.....................
Wood: Who are you?
Ron: They're my cousins, Sara, Max, and Samuel.
Wood: Really? Have you ever played Quidditch?
Ash: Er, no.
Ron: Yes.
Brock: Ron, WHAT ARE YOU-?!?
Ron: Samuel has had plenty of experience....
Ash: What?? No, I don't.....
Wood: Don't be modest, Samuel. Come on, join us!
Ash: ................okay.
Wood: Good!! Okay, see you at the Quidditch field at 3:30!
(Wood walks away)
Harry: Ron, what did you think you were doing back there?!?!?!?!?! Ash doesn't know how to play Quidditch, he's going to get seriously hurt!!!
Ron: Hey, I just figured he should try.
Misty: Do people get hurt in Quidditch?
Hermione: Yes. A lot.
Brock (sarcastically): Great.
Harry: Yea, nice going, Ron.
Ash: Oh well. Maybe playing will be fun!!!!
Misty: I sure hope you don't get hurt.
Ash: Wow, you're worried about me??
Misty: Well.....yes......
Hermione: WAIT!!!! What's Ash going to use for a broom???
Ron: Geez, I never thought of that......
Harry: There's a few Cleansweep brooms that belong to the school that Ash can use.
Hermione: A CLEANSWEEP?!?!?!?!? Ash's gonna get KILLED!!!!! HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED THE SLYTHERIN TEAM ALL HAVE NIMBUS 2001 BROOMS?!?!?!?!?!?
Harry: There's no other brooms he can use.....I wish I had my old Nimbus 2000 that Ash could use.....
Ron: Yea.....now I see how much I've screwed up.....
Ash: I'll do fine!
Harry: You haven't seen the Slytherin team. They'll do anything to win. They'll knock you out of the sky if they have to......
Ash: I will too!!!!
Ron: ..............................uh.
Harry: Yea.........you just have to play within the rules.
Ash: I know. I do pokémon battles all the time, and I'm great at it, Quidditch can't be that much different.....
Hermione: I think it kind of is, Ash......
Misty: Well, I'm sure glad it's you and not me, Ash.....
Wood (running back over to Harry): Katie and Alicia are all out!!!!
Harry: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Wood: Yea. I'M GONNA KILL THE SLYTHERINS.....anyway.....Sara, Max? Could you two be the other two Chasers?
Misty: ..........................................WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Brock: Sure. We'll do the best we can......
Wood (vigorously shaking Brock and Misty's hands): Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! Meet you at the Quidditch field at 3:30!!!
(Wood leaves)
Misty: ..............Great. Now I've got a chance to get hurt.......Brock, why'd you say yes?!?!?!?!?!?!??
Brock: He was really desperate, Misty, would you have turned him down???
Misty: YES!!!! I don't want to get hurt!
Ash: Haha, well, too late now.
Hermione: Ugh.....you'll ALL have to use Cleansweeps.....this is going to turn out so badly....
Harry: Well, no time to argue....Charms is in two minutes.
Hermione: I CAN'T MISS ANOTHER CLASS!!! LET'S GET GOING!!!
(Scene Five)
Professor Snape: Potter, I didn't see you in Potions today. Or Mrs. Granger, or Mr. Weasley.
Harry: .........................uh.
Professor Snape: I'll take 50 points from Gryffindor for each of you. And who are these three kids with you?
Ron: Th-they're my cousins.
Misty: Um, how do you do?
Brock: Good afternoon, sir.
Ash: I'M A-
(Misty clasps a hand over Ash's mouth)
Misty: I'm Sara, this is Samuel, and this is Max.
Professor Snape: Inform me when visitors are coming, Mr. Weasley. Ten more points from Gryffindor. And detention for all of you for not being in Potions.
(Professor Snape leaves down the hall)
Misty: He's scary....
Brock: I couldn't agree with you more....
Ash: I'M NOT SCARED OF HIM!!!!
Harry: You should be. He's the head of Slytherin, and he hates me.
Misty: Are you sure you're not just exaggerating?
Harry: Yes. Dumbledore told me himself.....why he hates me and everything.....and he hates Gryffindor. He'll take house points from Gryffindor whenever he can......
Brock: House points?
Hermione: House points are points we accumulate for good behavior....the house with the most house points at the end of the year wins the House Cup.
Misty: Oh, cool.
Ash: What time is it?
Harry: 3:00. I wonder what Snape's going to do with us for detention....
Hermione: And we still have detention for McGonagall. Today is definitely not our day....
Misty: Do we get detention too?
Harry: I wouldn't think so....you're visitors.
Ash: I'll go to detention with you.
Hermione: Ash, that's sweet, but we can't let you do that......we need a way to get you back to Pokémon World....
Misty: Exactly. Maybe during detention we can think up how to get out of here....
Ron: Get out of here!!! That's it!!!!
Brock: Huh?
Ron: You said that pokémon are like animals, right?
Ash: Yes.....
Ron: Can some pokémon fly?
Ash: Yes.....
Ron: Do you have a pokémon that can fly?
Ash: Yes.....
Ron: Great! Tonight, we can sneak you out into the grounds and you can take off on your flying pokémon!!!!
Hermione: That's a pretty good idea, Ron.....but what if we're caught???
Harry: Ugh, Hermione.....you're right....we could get expelled....or worse....get thrown in Azkaban...
Misty: Azkaban?
Harry: It's a fortress that is heavily guarded by beings called Dimentors......it is one of the worst places in the world....
Ash: Really? Well, I wouldn't want to go there.....
Hermione: If we get caught, you won't be the people going there......we will.
Brock: Well, why you?
Ron: It's because we'll be trying to keep Muggles from being caught.....
Misty: Hey, you've forgotten something!
Harry, Ron and Hermione: We have?
Misty: We all are wizards, remember?
Ron: Oh yeah, you're right.....
Hermione: In that case, maybe we could do it.....we still could get expelled, though.....
Ron: Oh, confound it, Hermione!!! If you don't want to help them, Harry and I will go there without you!
Hermione: Okay, okay, fine. We'll all do it tonight.
Ash: Well, I really don't want to get you all in trouble.....
Harry: I've gotten into enough trouble today.....just a little bit more won't hurt....
Draco: What would get you into trouble?
Hermione: ARRRG MALFOY WHY CAN'T YOU STAY OUT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S BUISNESS?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Harry: YEA AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR CHASERS??!?!!?!?!?!?!?
Draco: I don't know what you're talking about!.....Wait, maybe I do....mwahahahaha.
Ron: SO WHAT DID YOU DO TO THEM!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Ash: YEA, WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!?!?!?!?
Draco: Oh, so you want to pick a bone with me, Ketchum?
Misty: Ash, no!
Draco: Who's Ash?
Misty: Ash is just....my nickname for him....
Draco: Well, anyway, Ketchum, what about a wizard's duel? Tonight at midnight, on the Quidditch field....!
Ash: OF COURSE!!!
Harry: I'll be Samuel's second.....
Draco: And I chose Crabbe as my second. See you at midnight, Ketchum and Potter. Hahahahahaha......
(Draco walks away, snickering)
Harry: You don't have any idea what you agreed to, Ash, do you?
Ash: Um....no. What is a wizard's duel anyway?
Ron: A wizard's duel is when two wizards get together and cast spells on each other.
Hermione: And it ends when one of the wizards.....die.
Ash: OMG!!!!!! SO I'M GONNA DIE?!?!?!?!?
Harry: Well.....if Malfoy gets the better of you, than yes. You need to learn some good spells.
Ash: I don't KNOW any spells except Rattatabillis. Will that turn Malfoy into a rat?
Hermione: Um, no.
Ash: Great, then I'm doomed. So what's a second?
Harry: Since I'm your second, I'll take over if you die.....
Ash: That's a nice thought.....
Hermione: Well, Malfoy is a beginning student.....the most he'll probably be able to do is send sparks at you....
Ash: Well gee, I hope so.
Misty: Well, we don't have very much time until Quidditch....it's in five minutes.
Brock: Okay, we'd better get to the field, then.
Misty: Yea, sure, onto the Quidditch field of certain death I go.....
Ash: Oh COME ON, Misty. You'll be fine....stop with the drama.
Harry: Well, here's the broom storage place....
Ron: We'll be watching the match, so that hopefully Malfoy won't try anything funny.....maybe Dumbledore will watch too.....he knows how the Slytherin player are.....
Harry: Yea, hopefully. But anyway, see ya!
Hermione and Ron: Bye!
(Harry, Brock, Misty, and Ash enter the broom storage house)
Harry: Hmmm.....wow, there's some Shooting Stars and Comets in here too.....they'll work a bit better than the Cleansweep.....here Ash, you take this Shooting Star 360 and Misty, you take this Comet 400, and Brock, you take this Cleansweep 780. Okay, let's do a tiny bit of practice. Reach out your hands and say, 'Up'.
Brock, Misty, and Ash: Up.
(The brooms zoom up into Brock and Misty's hands and Ash's broom just turns over)
Brock: Hey, wow!
Misty: Awesome!!
Ash: Uh..............
Harry: Ash, try again.
Ash: Up.
(Ash's broom flies up and hits him in the face)
Ash: OUCH!!!!
Harry: Have your hand ready faster. Try again.
(Ash's broom lazily floats back down to the ground)
Ash: Okay....up!
(Ash's broom flies up and hits him in the face again)
Ash: OUCH!!!!!
(Misty and Brock quietly have a giggling fest)
Harry: Try again.
(Ash's broom floats to the ground again)
Ash: UP!!!!!
(Ash's broom flies up and Ash catches it before it hits his face)
Harry: Good. Now mount your brooms.
Misty: You mean, like.....
Harry: Yes.
(Misty slowly gets on her broom)
Misty: Wow! This is cool....
Harry: Lean forward to make it go forward and accelerate, and lean backward to make it slow down. Then you lean to the left and right to make it turn. To make it go up, you pull the handle towards you and to make it go down you gently push the handle towards the ground.
Misty: I sure hope I can remember that.....where can I fly?
Harry: Try flying out the window. And remember, you guys are substitute Chasers, so you two chase after the Quaffle and try to get it into the goalposts.
Misty: Okay....
(Misty flies out of the window)
Harry: Okay Brock, your turn. Get on your broom.
Brock: Um, okay....
(Brock slowly gets on his broom)
Harry: Good. Now duck your head and fly out the window.
Brock: ...................................okay.
(Brock zooms out of the window)
Harry: Okay Ash, your turn.
Ash (wincing): Okay......
(Ash mounts his broom)
Ash: Uh, okay....now what do I do?
Harry: Lean forward to fly out of the room. I'll demonstrate, I guess....
(Harry takes out his Firebolt)
Harry: Up!
(The Firebolt flies up into his hands and Harry mounts the broom and flies out the window)
Harry: Now it's your turn.
Brock: Come on, Ash.
Ash: Um....okay....
(Ash flies into the wall)
Ash: OUCH!!!!!
Misty: OMG this Quidditch match will turn out so badly.....
Harry (calmly): Try again, Ash.
(Ash flies into the wall again)
Ash: OUCH!!!!!
Misty (laughing): A-a-aim a little to your left, Ash....hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Ash (grumbling): I'll show you.....
(Ash finally flies out of the window)
Harry: Good job, Ash. Now let's fly around for a minute and see how we do.
(Ash crashes into a tower)
Harry: Keep control of the broom....remember, lean forward to make it go forward and accelerate, and lean backward to make it slow down. Then you lean to the left and right to make it turn. To make it go up, you pull the handle towards you and to make it go down you gently push the handle towards the ground.
Ash: Ugh.....that......hurt.....
Misty: Woo hoo!! Look, I can do a loop!
Brock: That's great, Misty!
Ash: Ugh.....for me, I'd better stick to pokémon.....
Harry: Okay, we'd better get to the lockers and change into our Quidditch robes.
(Scene Six)
Madam Hooch: Team Captains, shake hands!
(Wood and Flint shake hands)
Madam Hooch: Now, mount your brooms!
Everyone: Up!
(Ash's broom hits him in the face)
(Slytherin laughs)
Ash (furiously): UP!!!!
(Ash catches the broom)
(Everyone gets on their brooms)
Madam Hooch: And.....liftoff!
(Madam Hooch blows her whistle)
Lee Jordan: And they're off!!! Slytherin starts off with the Quaffle.....heading towards the Gryffindor goalposts.....YES!!!! Wonderful save by substitute (and very attractive) Chaser Sara Ketchum!
(Gryffindor cheers)
Misty: Oh, did I do something good?
Ash: LOOK OUT!!!!
(Misty ducks and a Bludger goes soaring over her head)
Lee Jordan: Sara Ketchum is heading over to the Slytherin goalposts.....SHE SCORES!!!! The score is now 10-0, Gryffindor!
(Gryffindor cheers)
Brock: Good job, Mist-.....I mean, Sara!
Lee Jordan: Slytherin takes hold of the Quaffle. They're speeding towards the Gryffindor goalposts.....YES!!!! Quaffle intercepted by another substitute Chaser, Max Ketchum!!! He's heading towards the goalposts....NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! IT'S INTERCEPTED!!!!! YOU SLYTHERIN JUNK!!!!! YOU STINKING #$%^&*!!!!
Professor McGonagall: JORDAN!!!!!
Lee Jordan: Sorry, Professor, it won't happen again. Slytherin Chaser Warrington heading towards the Gryffindor goalposts.....looks like Potter's seen the Snitch! He's diving, Malfoy right after him!!!
Harry: LOOK OUT!!!!!
Lee Jordan: Warrington still heading to the goalposts.....EXCELLENT SAVE BY KEEPER OLIVER WOOD!!!!!!!
(Gryffindor cheers)
Lee Jordan: Now Gryffindor's got the Quaffle.....substitute Chaser Samuel Ketchum flying towards the Slytherin goalposts......SAMUEL, LOOK OUT!!!!!
(Ash crashes into a tower)
Ash: Ohh........my head.......
Lee Jordan: Samuel drops the Quaffle.....YES!!!! SARA KETCHUM CAUGHT IT!!! She's flying toward the Slytherin goalposts and....SUCESS!!! SHE SCORES!!!! NOW THE SCORE'S 20-0, GRYFFINDOR IN THE LEAD!!!!
Misty: Yes!
Brock: Good job, Mis-.....I mean, Sara.
Ash: I'm fine, I'm fine! Did anyone miss me?
Misty: No, other than you almost cost Gryffindor a goal....
Fred and George: LOOK OUT!!!!
Lee Jordan: EXCELLENT BEATING BY GRYFFINDOR'S TWO BEATERS, FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!!! Slytherin in possession of the Quaffle.....MAX, KNOCK WARRINGTON OFF HIS BROOM!!!!
Professor McGonagall: JORDAN, IF YOU CAN'T COMMETATE IN AN UNBIASED WAY......
Lee Jordan: Sorry, sorry Professor. Slytherin in possession. No, Gryffindor in possession. Look's like Potter's seen the Snitch again! He dives, Malfoy right behind him! Oh, come on Harry.......YES!!!!!!!!! HE'S GOT THE SNITCH!!!! GRYFFINDOR WINS!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: YES!!!! I DID IT!!!!
Misty: Great job, Harry!!!
Harry: You had some pretty slick stuff out there too, Mist-....I mean, Sara.
Hermione: YAY!!! Good job, all of you!!
Ron: Yes, wonderful job!
Hagrid: Great job, 'Arry!
Harry: Thanks, Hagrid.
Hagrid: Are these your cousins, Ron?
Ron: Yes. This is Sara, Max, and Samuel Ketchum.
Misty: Uh....how do you do?
Brock: Hello, Hagrid.
Ash: I'M ASH-
(Misty clasps a hand over Ash's mouth)
Misty: Ahahahahaha....my brother can be a little crazy sometimes.
Hagrid (laughing): Well, why don't y'all come to my 'ouse fer a cup o' tea?
Harry: That'd be great!
Hermione: Yea, sure, we'd love to!
(Scene Seven)
Hagrid: So, Sara, Max, and Samuel, what wizarding school do yeh go to anyway?
Ash: Er.....we go to......Kantofundus Academy.
Hagrid: Well, I never 'eard of that school.....where is it?
Brock: Um.....it's near.....
Ron: Russia!
Hagrid: Well, Russia, eh? Yeh've certainly gone a long ways......
Misty: Yes sir, a very long ways.
Hagrid: Here, yeh can all have a little cup o' tea.
Misty: Thank you, sir.
Hagrid: Don't call me sir. Call me 'Agrid.
Misty: Thank you, Hagrid.
Hagrid: Dat's better.
Fang: WOOF!!!!
Brock: DWAAAAH WHAT IS THAT THING?!?!?!?
Hagrid (laughing): Dat's me dog, Fang.
Ash: Is Fang a.....animal?
Hagrid (laughing): Well, o' course he's an animal. What didya expect a rock?
Misty (glowing red): Er, no sir-I mean, Hagrid.
Hermione: .................Hagrid, there's something we need to tell you.
Harry: Hermione, no!!
Hagrid: What do yeh want ter tell me?
Hermione: These kids we brought......they're not Ron's cousins.
Hagrid: What do yeh mean?
Hermione: They're of no relation to us whatsoever. And their names aren't really Sara, Max, and Samuel. Their names are Misty, Brock, and Ash. They just came crashing through the roof of the Gryffindor common room this morning, and we're trying to find a way to get them back home.....
Ron: But we already found out a way for them to get back home....
Hermione: Well, yes, but.....
Hagrid: So what yeh're trying to tell me is....these kids are MUGGLES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Harry: No, no, they're not Muggles.
Misty: We just found out we were wizards during Transfiguration.
Harry: They're just from this place called Pokémon World.....
Hagrid: Pokémon world????
Ash: Yea.
Hagrid: So........how did you get 'ere?
Misty: Ash angered Mew and Mew used Metronome on us........
Harry, Hagrid, Hermione and Ron: HUH?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
Ash: Well, Mew is a legendary pokémon, and Metronome is one of its moves.....
Hagrid: So what are Pokémon anyway?
Ash: Pokémon are kind of like animals only they have different types...like Bulbasaur here is a Grass-type.....Bulbasaur, come out! (throws a pokéball)
Bulbasaur: Bulba!
Hagrid: Awwww, it's so cute!!!!
Ash: ...............................um.
Ron (whispering): You should see some of the things Hagrid calls cute.
Hagrid (petting Bulbasaur): Where did you get this extraordinary creature?????
Ash: Pokémon world, where we live.....
Hagrid: I aint never 'eard o' Pokémon world.
Misty: That's weird that nobody around here knows where Pokémon world is or even what pokémon are.....
Ash: Yea, that's weird.
Hermione: So what do you think we should do?
Hagrid: Report them to Dumbledore, I would think....Great man, Dumbledore.......
(sudden scream)
Everyone: WHAT WAS THAT?!?!?
(everyone runs to the window)
(a lighting bolt comes out of a window)
Misty: Oh no!
Ash: Pikachu must've been discovered!!!!! LET'S MAKE TRACKS!!!!!
Brock: Thank you for your help, Hagrid.
Hagrid: No problem.
(They run out of Hagrid's cottage)
Ron: To the Gryffindor common room! QUICK!!!!
(Scene Eight)
(Everyone bursts into the common room)
James: Well, look who's here.
Ash: YOU'VE FOLLOWED US ALL THE WAY TO HOGWARTS?!?!?!?!?!?
Hermione: Who are they?
Misty: They're Team Rocket, and they're always up to no good!
Jessie: To protect the world from devastation!
James: To unite all peoples within our nation!
Jessie: To denounce the evils of truth and love!
James: To extend our reach to the stars above!
Jessie: Jessie!
James: James!
Jessie: Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!
James: Surrender now, or prepare for a fight, fight, fight!
Meowth: Meowth, dat's right!
Ash: GIVE ME MY PIKACHU!!!!!
Jessie: I'm afraid you're too late. Pikachu's on his way to The Boss already!
Ash: NOOOOO! UP!!!!
(A broomstick flies into Ash's hand)
Harry: HEY!!! THAT'S MY FIREBOLT!!!!!
Ash: I'm borrowing this!!!
(Ash zooms out of the window)
Jessie: Mwahahahahaha, we will now take possession of your pokémon!!!!!!
(Hermione whips out her wand)
James: What are you going to do with that little stick?
Hermione: CONFOUNDUS!!!!!!
(Purple light shoots out of Hermione's wand)
James: Lalalalalalala....I like cheeeeeese......
Jessie: I LIKE PIE!!!!
Brock: Um.....what did you do to Team Rocket.....?
Hermione: I used the confoundus charm. It confuses them. It'll probably wear off in a few hours.
Misty: Well, we'd better find Ash. Unless I don't know any better, he's probably crashed into something.
Harry: He'd better not. That's my broom he's using!!!!!
(Scene Nine)
Ash: Pikachu! Pikachu! Where are you, buddy?
(Ash crashes into a window)
Ash: Ouuuuch......today is not my day.......
Wormtail: Hello!
Ash: WHOA!!!! WHO ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Wormtail: I am Wormtail.
Ash: And I'M ASH KETCHUM FROM PALLET TOWN!!!!!!
Wormtail: Ah. I've never seen you around these parts around before.....
Ash: I'm an exchange student from..........um.........Kantofundus Academy!
Wormtail: So tell me, have you seen a boy named.....Harry Potter around here?
Ash: Um......why are you interested in Harry Potter?
Wormtail: Just bring him over here.
(Wormtail disappears)
Ash: WHOA!!! That was......creepy.....
Misty: ASH!!!
Ash (looking down): Hi guys!
Harry: You better not have crashed into anything!!!
Ash: Ahahahaha.....of course I didn't.
Hermione: Now come down; we found Pikachu.
Ash: AHHHH!!! PIKACHU!!!!
Pikachu: PIKA!!!
(Ash dives down and crashes into the ground)
Ash: Ugggggh............
Harry: OMG MY BEAUTIFUL FIREBOLT!!! Good thing it was protected with an anti-break charm.
(Harry takes his Firebolt and Pikachu runs to Ash and shocks him)
Pikachu: Pika pi!
Ash: DWAAAAAAAAH!!! Hi, Pikachu.
(Ash slowly gets up and Pikachu jumps on his shoulder)
Brock: Sorry Pikachu, but we have to take you back to the common room. Remember, you can't be seen.
Pikachu: Pi.......
Harry: I'm going to go put my Firebolt away. You guys go to the common room. The password is 'Gobble guts' by the way.
Ron: Thanks.
(Scene Ten)
Fat lady: Password?
Ash: Gobble guts.
Fat lady: Hey, you're not a Gryffindor!
Ash: Of course I am.
Pikachu: Pika pika!
Fat lady: AHHHH WHAT IS THAT THING?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?
Hermione: Gobble guts!!!!!
(Portrait swings open and everyone gets in)
Ron: Whew, that was close.
Seamus: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH WHATISTHATCREATURE?!?!?!?!?
Neville (mouth full of chocolate frogs): OUHGORHJS OHGIOE IEHGOSEH?!?!?!?!?
Dean: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ron: ..........Oh great.
(Ash sticks Pikachu in his robes)
Hermione: Obliviate!
(Red sparks fly from Hermione's wand)
Seamus: Oh, hello Harry!
Dean: Nice day, isn't it?
Neville: Sihoghir. Rsihgowerhggkl sigioerh.
(Harry, Ron, Hermione, Brock, Misty, and Ash climb up the stairs to the boy's dormitory)
Ron: That was way too close.
Brock: What did you do to them?
Hermione: I modified their memory so that they wouldn't remember seeing Pikachu.
Brock: OMG YOU ARE SO AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hermione: ..................................thanks.....................................
Harry: You can use that spell on Malfoy, Ash.
Ash: OMG REALLY??? So all I have to do is point my wand at him and say 'obliviate'?
Hermione: Well, sort of, I guess......if you haven't noticed you're not exactly the best wizard, so it might not work.
Ash (sarcastically): Well gee, that's nice.
Pikachu: Pika!
Harry: I'm sorry Pikachu, but you're going to have to go back into hiding again.
Pikachu: Pika!!!!!! PIKA PIKACHU PI!!!!
Ash: There's nothing I can do, Pikachu! You've got to stay hidden!
Pikachu: PI........KA.........CHU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Pikachu shocks Ash)
Ash: AUUUUUGH!!!!
Pikachu: Pika pi.
(Pikachu crawls under Harry's bed)
Misty: Thanks, Pikachu.
Brock: We'll be back in a couple hours.
Pikachu: Pi...
(Scene Eleven)
Hermione: Okay Hagrid, we need your help.
Hagrid: What'd yeh need 'elp with?
Harry: Ash needs to learn some spells on Malfoy. You're the only one we trust.
Hagrid: Well, I don't know any spells.
Ron: WHAT?!?!?!? OF COURSE YOU DO YOU'RE A HOGWARTS TEACHER!!!!!!
Hagrid: I'm not who you think I am....
(Hagrid takes off a mask that reveals that he is Giovanni)
Ash: AAAAAAH!!!! GIOVANNI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ron: Who?
Misty: Giovanni! The leader of Team Rocket!!!!!
Giovanni: Oh, hang on a sec.....
(Giovanni takes off masks to reveal that he is Ginny, then Harry, then Dumbledore, then Professor McGonagall, then Jessie, then James, and then finally......)
Hermione: LORD VOLDEMORT!!!!!!!!!!
Ash: Um, who?
Voldemort: HEY!!!! I thought everyone was so scared of me that they wouldn't dare say my name!!! Fear the name, fear the name!!! OOoooooOOOoooOOO!!!!!
Harry: ......................................um.
Voldemort: As to answer your question, ASH KETCHUM OF PALLET TOWN WHO WANTS TO BECOME A POKÉMON MASTER, I am LORD VOLDEMORT!!!! THE BEST DARK WIZARD OF THE AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I WANT TO KILL HARRY POTTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Misty: WHY??? Harry didn't do anything wrong!
Voldemort: I want to control the world, 'kay?
Brock: ...........................................um.
Ash: Um........okay. How about we go to the mall?
Voldemort: OKAY!!!!!
Misty: Wow, easily distracted.
Voldemort: Hang on a second, I have to kill Harry first.
Ash: ............Why do you have to kill Harry anyway?
Voldemort: DON'T YOU GET IT?!?!?!?!?!? AFTER I TRIED TO KILL HARRY THE FIRST TIME I LOST ALL MY POWERS!!!! I'VE GOTTEN SOME OF THEM BACK, BUT I NEED TO KILL HARRY TO GET THEM ALL BACK!!!! NOW STOP STALLING ME!!!! What was that killing curse again......?
Harry: ................Wow.
Ash (whispering): Let's just sneak away.........
Me (appearing behind Voldemort): Stupify!
(Voldemort faints)
Ron: Wow, who are you?
Me: I'm SHAYMIN!!! The best wizard of the age!!!!!
Hermione: I thought I was the best wizard of the age!!!
Me: I learned from the best. Hey Ash, hi Misty, hi Brock.
Misty: Do I know you?
Me: 'Course you do!!
Ash: ...........Um, okay.
Me: Now Voldemort'll be facing a lifetime sentence in Azkaban! And it's all because of ME!!!! Oh yea, I'm awesome!
Harry: .............um.
Me: Alright, I'm gonna take Voldemort to Dumbledore! See you guys later! Toodle-oo!
(I walk off dragging Voldemort behind me)
Ron: .............Wow.
Brock: SHE'S SO PRETTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Misty (sighing): Ahhh, here we go again!
Ash: Hey, what time is it?
Misty: Almost 6:00.
Hermione: Come on Ash, we'd better teach you some spells that will help against Malfoy.
Ash: Okay.
(Scene Twelve)
Me: Hey Dumbledore, what's crackalackin'?!
Dumbledore: Yo Shaymin, wazzup?
Me: I've caught EVIL, EVIL HE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED!!!!!!!
Dumbledore: Wow.
Me: I know. Now we can send him to AZKABAN!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Dumbledore: Yea. Okay. Thanks for Voldemort.
Me: Hey, you're welcome. Now, I'm going to go see how those kids are doing.....see ya.
(I walk out of Dumbledore's office)
Peeves: Who are you?
Me: Back off poltergeist, I'm educated in the dark arts!!!!! OOOoooOOOoooOOO!!!!!
Peeves: Really?
Me (sighing): Okay fine, I'm not. But I've got THIS!!!!!
(I hold out a pokéball)
Peeves: What's that?
Me: POKÉBALL, GO!!!!!!!!
(Giratina appears)
Giratina: GIRAAAAAA!!!!
Peeves: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
(Peeves takes off down the hall)
Me: Ahhh, there we go. Giratina, Return.
(Giratina goes back into his pokéball)
Me: 'Kay, now to find.....ASH KETCHUM!!!!!!!!!! And HARRY POOTER!!! Hahahaha, I said that wrong, didn't I? Right, it's POTTER. Get it right, Shaymin.
Ash (coming down the hall): All right Hermione, are you SURE this'll work?
Me: Hey!!! Wazzup, dudes??
Harry: ..........................um.
Ron: ....................er, hello.
Me: Where are you guys going at this late hour?
Hermione: .......................Um..................................
Harry: We're going to......the owlry!
Me: WhyyyyYYYYyyyy?
Harry: Er, because I need to send a letter.....
Me: Okay. Just make sure Flitch doesn't catch you!!!! Actually, I'd better go with you. You see, I'm a psychic, so I've read all of your minds and I know what's going on.
Ron: ......................Um.
Me: Well, not really. Since I'm writing this story here, I made myself have that power!
Harry: What story?
Me: THIS story! Right now! And you'd better get to the Quidditch field, because Malfoy and Crabbe are waiting for YOU!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA Ash you're going to DIE!!! Hahaha, just kidding.
Ash: .................................uh...........................
(Scene UNLUCKY Thirteen)
Draco: So you decided to show your unworthy, cowering face after all.
Ash: ......CONFOUNDUS!!!!!!!!!!
(Red sparks shoot out of Ash's wand)
Draco: I'm a pooooooony......lalalalalalalalalala.......
Crabbe: Well, I guess I'm up.
Ash: CONFOUNDUS!!!!!
(Red sparks shoot out of Ash's wand again)
Crabbe: Oooh, I'm a girl!! Does anyone have lipstick???
Ron: I actually liked them better beforehand.
Ash: Okay.....let's get going....
Pikachu: PIIIIIIKAAAAAAA!!!!
(Pikachu arrives on Buckbeak with Sirius Black)
Harry: SIRIUS!!!!
Sirius: Hello Harry. I'll take Misty, Brock, and Ash back to Pokémon World.
Pikachu: PIKA!
Ron: OMG SIRIUS!!! YOU UNDERSTAND PIKACHU?!?!?!?
Sirius: Yea. Hop on.
(Ash, Misty, and Brock hop on Buckbeak)
Ash, Misty, and Brock: Good bye!!!!
Ron, Harry, and Hermione: Good bye!!!!!
(Buckbeak takes off)
~Epilogue~
Voldemort: OMG WHAT AM I DOING IN AZKABAN?!?!?!?!?
Me: I've caught you!!! BOO YEA SCORE ONE FOR SHAYMIN!!!!!!
Voldemort: Well, I'm not really Voldemort.
Me: WHAT???????
(Voldemort takes off his mask to reveal that he is my sister)
Me: AAAAH!!!!!!!
My Sister: I thought it would be a cool joke.
Me: Um.....Azkaban peoples??? I've caught the wrong person......
THE END!!!!!